SHATTERED

Father said it would be good for me "refocus Daniel, get you back in the fold"...ha! the fold I'd worked so hard to break free from, but that would never happen now. Wonder who they'll send this time, the last 2 had made me want to run harder & faster than I'd ever needed to go before...wot is it they say? Third time lucky, well here's hoping...

So here I was. As the elevator ascended, at dizzying speed I must add, the butterflies in my tummy were doing a whole floor routine not just somersaults! Could I really pull this off? Well I better because this was last chance saloon & if I blow this one I'm riding bareback home I can just see it now...& then there's those shoes I just have to have! Oh my, concentrate Lucy, don't go mind wandering before you've even arrived.

Good Girl Agency the card read, so kindly pushed into my palm by my roommate & so I gave them a call not knowing at all what to expect & here I was hired as a PA to the CEO of a mysterious company - I say mysterious because not fully understanding the blurb on the website I gave up, figuring I'll learn on the job! There, into my buzzwords already, I can really get into this!

Ping & the doors open on floor 45 of 47 to a view that stops me dead in my tracks...floor to extra height ceiling glass & Manhattan rolled out in front of me...WOW! Granite floors, chrome fixtures & fittings & a sleek pod set to one side where an oh so efficient looking & drop dead gorgeous girl sits looking at me with an amused look on her face..."some view huh, never fails to get that reaction, you must be Lucinda"

"Lucy please & yes it's certainly breathtaking"

At this point she's got that look of yeah heard it all before & is rolling off instructions of here's your desk, water cooler through that door, blah blah & I mentally kick myself for standing there like a total dufus...

Well this must be her & although slightly green & not just from the elevator, this could work out I'm sure. Petite but with good muscle tone, beautiful wavy hair that's pulled back into a chignon & an open face which currently reads "out of my depth but boy I'm gonna swim with this one" Yes, things are definitely looking up.

Dufus I must look if his face is anything to go by because when I say the view is breathtaking I mean the whole vista! There, stood in the doorway & watching me falter is quite possibly the most god like man I've ever seen...outside of an airbrushed magazine anyway. His presence gives me goosebumps. He's tall, definitely looks after himself & I wonder how he'll look without that immaculately tailored suit on...mentally shake myself...be professional Lucy or no roof over your head, no new shoes to dance in! The amused smile in his eyes tells me to get moving & I follow Miss Immaculate (oh hell what was her name?) as she disappears through a door which looked like the seamless wall & I make a mental note as I know I'm gonna have trouble with that one..."restroom on the left, cafeteria on the right & further along at the end here, we have the salon"

Whoa wait, salon? As in Salon? No wonder she's so immaculate but surely there's got to be another meaning so I question her & her response leaves me lost for words "Yes, Mr Stein likes all of his staff to be immaculately presented at ALL times" & with a swish of her immaculately presented self she turns on her heel & sashays back towards the seamless wall leaving me only enough time to sneak a peek at the salon before running after her to get a better look at how this wall/door thing works...oh my!

Lunch break & I'm dying to tell Kate about my...crazy morning so I head to the nearest coffee shop to call her...& she doesn't answer, just typical! I'm too wired to eat so I pick at my bagel & let my mind work overtime thinking & rethinking every little detail from my first morning at Stein Beck Corp. Still slightly unsure of my exact role because from what it seems the whole floor is Mr Steins & it's obviously a 'by appointment only' kind of role he has so surely Miss Immaculate has that under control? I have my own office off to the side & adjacent to Mr Steins suite. It's super swish & I spent most of the morning sat admiring my very own Barcelona Chair, chrome & glass desk & MacBook which after switching on I've not managed to do anything other than stroke then wipe my greasy finger prints from...I hope there's not a secret camera in there...make mental note to check on return! A quick glance at my watch tells me I should be heading back so I send Kate a quick text spilling only half of what I need to say before I burst & head back.

I sit at my desk & the anticipation is killing me, damn Miranda & damn my father for finding & removing the camera. I imagine her to be sitting there at her desk but then what & my imagination working overtime makes me shiver. On second thoughts though this one has to work out...now if only she wasn't so pliable looking damnit, I can just imagine her...& as I turn in my chair she walks past the door to the elevator giving me a perfect view of a perfect butt & I inwardly groan. She has no idea wot she's doing to me. I call Clary & have him order a floral arrangement, she looks the kind of girl who'll be impressed with a classic floral display...English roses that kind of thing & I give him a list of things I need to know by the time the days out. I must know her secrets, no rushing in this time & certainly no costly mistakes like the last two.

The afternoon flies by in a haze of wonderment...from the most beautiful & classiest floral arrangement I've ever seen, brightening my sleek & minimalistic desk on return from lunch to the invitation to the upcoming Company Ball the following week. Do I blow my first months pay check on those shoes to wear...those goddamn shoes burning a hole in my pocket! Then 5 o'clock is here & Miss Immaculate is at the door ushering me home for the day, I haven't even done any work & I'm still unsure of my role, maybe today was settling in day & the real work starts tomorrow...? Descending to the exit we're joined by more beautiful people from lower floors & I push myself into an invisible corner as I know I'm hugely out of my depth in this type of environment. How long before I'm sussed out...just let me get those shoes & I inwardly giggle as I cross my fingers walking through the lobby.

Home & what a bump down to earth. Kate's not home yet & my elation & wonderment of my first day is quickly gone...my dreams of living in an elegantly decorated Brownstone with tasteful floral planters on the sills is just that: a dream. We share the top floor of an old Victorian house, small rooms, clanging heating pipes through fall & baking in the summer to the point where there's not a part of each others body we haven't seen...it's strip or pass out & I'm glad we're like sisters & have known each other forever. As I search the kitchenette for food the grumble in my tummy reminds me I've not eaten all day...too nervous for breakfast, too wired for lunch so I rustle up an omelette, wolf it down & head to soak in a bubblebath with a glass of wine & a book. Books are my escape where I can live any life, anywhere & there's no demons from the past. After a long soak I take a refill & my paperback & I head to bed where I fall into sleep taking my dreams with me.

Back in the spaceship elevator & I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirrors...not bad! I chose my outfit more carefully this morning, knowing what kind of place I'm working in & hoping I'll feel more the part...& also hoping whatever part that is will become more clear today. My hair is my crowning glory & I'd gone with a 'Kate Middleton Wedding Day' half updo, cascading in waves over my shoulders I knew it looked stunning! I also chose a grey shift & black patent leather slim belt to match my killer (& they were killing me!) heels. Not Gucci or Boss or whatever Miss Immaculate would be turned out in today but I definitely felt more confident. I dropped my purse in my office & headed for this invisible door, please don't let me be pushing & pulling in vain, however thankfully & I can't tell you how much, Miss Immaculate opens it from the other side & ushers me through. We're heading to The Salon she tells me & when I step inside I actually take a gasp! THIS. IS. INSANE! There's actually a hairdresser & makeup artist with full kit & a beauty therapist & through the door at the end I can see a full walk in wardrobe. Miss Immaculate leaves me with a wink & a "you don't think I leave home looking like this in the morning do you" & off she goes leaving me standing there, mouth agape & looking highly unattractive!

I get the full works that morning: my hair is restyled into a sophisticated chignon, makeup so subtly but strikingly applied, waxed from head to toe (surely this is beyond what an employer can demand but hey...!) & an expert mani/pedi...then the piece de resistance I get to enter the wardrobe. I know I squeal, so uncool but I just can't help it! There's a Bergdorf dresser there who sizes me up & picks out a charcoal wool shift with an aubergine stripe running through & matching aubergine silk cap sleeved blouse...I feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman & when I turn to look in the mirror I gasp, is that really me? Oh my!

It is now my turn to sashay back down the corridor, back towards the invisible door...please don't let me bump into wall & spoil the new me immaculate professional illusion. It's fine, I make it through & head back to my office. I'm leaned over my desk (really admiring my own reflection in the glass top) & trying to fire up the MacBook when I sense another presence in the room. Turning hastily & fully aware at my earlier provocative stance (god these new clothes & confidence make me feel sexy) Mr Hotness himself is stood leaning on the doorjamb & from the look on his face fully appreciating the view. The way he looks at me with raw lust & undressing me with those cool grey eyes (which I must get a closer look at) gives me goosebumps & I mentally shiver.

Now that's a sight in the morning I could fully get used to. Bent over the desk, good position for a beautiful girl, is a vision before my eyes. As I imagine all the things I'm going to do to that perfect derrière she obviously senses me & turns & I know the smug lustful look on my face speaks volumes. She looks at me shyly from under long eyelashes & my heart skips a beat, this girl stirs emotions in me I thought I'd never feel: I want to love her & hurt her in equal measure. I leave after inviting her to a working lunch in my suite at 12 o'clock but for the rest of the morning I find it hard to concentrate & get that look of those emerald eyes out if my head.

Lunch in his office & wanting to make the right impression I pick up my notepad & pen, smooth my skirt & tuck a wisp of hair that keeps escaping behind my ear & head next door. I know I won't be able to eat, the butterflies are back & they're having a real disco in there right now. Mentally I chant my mantra, act professional, look professional, be professional but I'm feeling anything but. The suite takes in a whole length of the floor & the vista of Manhattan again takes my breath away. As I look down & across I see a city of ants bustling about their day & the tinted glass gives the city a romantic hue. The rest of the suite verges on clinical: chrome, glass, white but with a huge oil painting almost the length & height of the wall which makes me shudder. It's an abstract but it makes me think of torture & pain. Red & grey splatters on a canvas, the only colours in here. There's Daniel's desk, similar to my own (wonder if he checks his own reflection out in it?!) a sitting area with again a glass low table, a butter soft leather grey sofa, some invisible cupboards which I only know are there because two are ajar & a Philippe Starck dining suite where set out is the most exquisite looking Sushi lunch. Daniel directs me to the table saying he hopes I don't mind him choosing lunch for me but there's a lot to get through & it's easier eating in than out as we can take our time. He's obviously a man who likes to take control I think as I sit down in my seat & I feel slightly nervous when I consider this mornings events in The Salon, summoned to lunch in his suite & that unwavering penetrating gaze he sets upon me like he's looking right into my soul.

Now that she's here I begin to feel uncharacteristically nervous. Nervous or uncertain, I cannot make up my mind but it is most unlike me. She scrubs up well as I knew she would & the aubergine silk blouse is a perfect contrast to those eyes. Emerald but when she tilts her head & the light catches they have steel grey flecks dancing through them. She truly is a beauty but in an unconventional way. I want to inflict pleasurable pain on this girl, I want to feel her shudder as she begs for more but again there's that feeling of wanting to love her, care for her & cherish her vulnerability, a feeling I don't recognise nor want to acknowledge. So down to business...

I'm totally trying to be cool, Daniel pushes the delectable looking Sushi towards me & encourages me to eat but the look of raw lust on his face is making me aroused. Surely Mr Hotness isn't hot for me, maybe he's just permanently horny but I'm enjoying having this power over a man, this is what Boss silk & a fitted dress can do for you. I expect him to talk business over lunch but as we eat he points out sights from the view & shares tidbits of gossip with me...not at all what I was expecting & thankfully I begin to relax. After we eat I ask after the restroom & he points me in the direction of yes you guessed it a seamless wall...oh no, this is the test but he obviously senses my trepidation & with a touch of a button the door opens & I stride confidently towards the gap, aware my butt is being appraised but also fully aware that thanks to my hard workouts he's getting one helluva view! Clinical bathroom just as I expected, floss in the cabinet (yeah I have a nosy!) & both loo & taps are sense controlled...Mr Hotness or Mr SuperSleek...hmmm!

He's stood by his desk facing the windows as I return, a hand on his hip, the other in his hair & I imagine running my newly perfectly manicured hand through that wavy jet black hair & I mentally remember this is not a date, I'm here to learn about my role. He turns & my heart skips a beat, my breath catches in my throat, he looks even more stunning framed by that view. He directs me to the sofa & I enquire will I need to take notes, he laughs & again I begin to feel nervous. For the first time I notice the glass to the reception area is frosted over for privacy & I'm sure that wasn't the case before, it's also perfectly soundproofed in here like the world may be going on around us but neither of us are aware of one another. He pats the seat beside him & I sink onto the buttery soft leather, this really does feel like a date...

As she's in the bathroom I take a minute to assess the situation. God she's hot but vulnerable too & she's stirring emotions in me I didn't know were there, how to play this? I'm having an internal argument when she reappears & as I turn to face her I'm sure she must see the look of angst on my face. I want her like I've never wanted anyone before but I want to take care of her too, could I actually see myself taking this girl on a date, a real date like normal people do & like I've never done before? Yes I think I could, oh this is turning into another nightmare.

So the afternoon progresses, Daniel telling me about his business, the one he started from scratch & now employs around 300,000 people worldwide & keeps him out of trouble (although the wicked glint in his eye tells me otherwise) & his family (old money) off his back. At about 3 o'clock Daniel fixes me a killer G&T & by about half 3 I'm feeling insanely decadent & thinking I can so get used to this! If this is how the professional half work then why are they always complaining about stress ha, I mentally kicked myself for not doing it before now. I was fully enthralled though I could tell Daniel was telling me what he wanted me to hear, not necessarily to impress me but because again I sensed his need to be in control. I let him talk, I had no intention of giving anything of me away, why burst this bubble, I still didn't know what was expected of me but with the kick from the gin I was feeling more confident I could pull this off by the minute.

The whole time I was talking I was wondering what the hell I was doing. Letting this girl in, she'd gotten under my skin alrite but I felt as long as I talked it would all stay above board & the kinky images going through my head would stay just there. Then she stood to use the restroom & all my honourable intentions went to hell...

As I stood I stumbled, heck that gin was lethal & his strong arms were there to catch me. He had one arm on my elbow & the other around my waist, as I pulled myself upright our faces were inches apart & the raw look of lust on his face gave me goosebumps. I was aware of panting, the physical energy between us was electric & as he bent to kiss me pulling me into him from the waist I gave in to my desires & I was his. If the brutality of his teeth biting my lips, my tongue, my ear weren't enough to tell me he was as hot for me as I was for him then the hardness in his trousers begging to be released spoke volumes. Deftly he unzipped my shift & I don't even remember the buttons to my blouse being undone but I was suddenly undressed & stood before him as the fire in his eyes took in every inch of my body making me feel slightly self conscious...what the hell was I doing, after a quick fuck I'd be out of here...& those shoes would never be mine. He stepped back & ordered me to walk to his desk & stand facing the window. In my killer heels, new silk Brazilian panties & balconette bra (thanks Berdoff!) I sashayed to the desk working it for all my worth, god this was a role play you only read about in raunchy books. I reached the desk, pulled my hair loose & placed my hands flat, legs parted & head back, if he wasn't cumming already then I almost was, I felt like a goddess...what was in that gin! I knew this stance would show off my pert ass, tiny waist & toned back & shoulders to their best & from the front well, my cup spilleth over, I had large natural breasts & I know this bra was doing wonders!

She was standing there like a vision. God what a figure. The things I wanted to do to her, the positions I wanted that beautifully sculpted body in & boy did she know it. Her ass was begging for it but make her wait & I instructed her not to move a damn inch as I fixed another drink & sank back into the sofa. I could almost hear her pleading with me as she panted in anticipation but all good things come to those who wait so I let her stand there whilst I soaked in every single inch of her body. I told her to turn around & sit on the desk, I wanted the full view, & she did so kicking off her shoes as she crossed her legs. That told me that behind the bravado she was feeling vulnerable, crossing her legs as a barrier to the uncertainty of a situation she was turned on by but not fully in control of. "put your heels back on & go fix yourself a drink" & as she bent over to pick up her shoes I could've cum there & then...god she was sexy.

Okay so this is how he wants it, drawn out, well that's fine & I'll make it a large gin with my tonic I had a feeling I was going to need it & under the scrutiny of his lustful gaze I was loosing the confidence that had begun to grow inside me. I could see he was getting turned on by making me wait so I played at it a little more, torture him as he was doing to me & I knew the effect of my hair being tossed was enough to make any man ache with desire. I fixed my drink & as I put the glass to my mouth I looked through my lashes to where he was sitting. It was a lustful gaze & it said take me but again he just sat casually draped on the sofa taking in the show. I went back to the desk, tossed my drink back & gave him the side view, arching my back as I placed the glass onto the desk. Jeez that was a strong one & back came my bravado, any doubting thoughts pushed away & I asked Mr Stein what I should do next...

It was the arching of the back that got me & before we both knew it I had my hand in her hair pulling her head back & she was bent over the desk being rammed hard from behind. As I entered her she gasped but she pushed her ass & her hips into me with such force I knew she was as ready as me. She was panting & I knew she was close, I reached around front & massaged her with my fingers & we both exploded, folded over the desk in an embrace of sheer pent up exhaustion.

It was pure raw sex & I had really let myself go for the first time in a very long time. As Daniel turned me to face him & wrap his arms around me I felt for some reason that in that act we'd both shed some demons. I finally kicked off my heels & went to the restroom to get dressed & cleaned up. Daniel was the picture of professionalism again when I returned but his smile which now extended to his eyes told me he was still hot for me & he'd enjoyed it as much as I had. "Dinner this evening Lucinda, my car will collect you at 8" & with that I knew I was dismissed...until later! Thankfully Miss Immaculate was nowhere to be seen when I did the walk of shame back to my office, did she know? Had she heard? I really hope that office was soundproofed...oh dear. It was almost 5 o'clock so I gathered my purse & headed for home, would Daniel really turn up tonight? God knows I was used to unreliable men & more importantly what the hell was I going to wear considering he didn't say where we were going. I mentally groaned, how do I get myself into these situations.

Kate wasn't around when I got home but there was a note saying she was at Olly's & I could catch her there, she was dying to hear all the gossip but I couldn't bring myself to call her, I didn't know wot to make of it myself yet. What exactly was I his PA or his office fuck? I was just about to fall into a very deeply run bathtub when there was a knock at the door, Clary he introduced himself & Daniel's assistant (another one!) was delivering one cocktail dress, one shoebox, one purse & a handwritten note saying

"See you at 8, don't be late x"

& off he went. My mind was just blown so I set the gifts aside & dove into the bath...a good soak always gave me clarity & surely this was a dream.

A half hour later I got out of the bath & the gifts were still there...it was all very real, or totally surreal! I opened the garment bag & inside was the most stunning black one shouldered Lanvin silk cocktail dress, holding it against me I was lost for words. The purse, a Lanvin clutch with a jewelled clasp was the most perfect match...& the shoes: THE shoes! I had to pinch myself...how the hell did he know?! Black Louboutin sandals with killer heels. I put them on & danced around the apartment like a 10 year old on Christmas Day...OH MY! I moisturised & preened to within an inch of my life, I was determined to do these beautiful & hugely expensive gifts justice & I must say when I looked in the mirror I gave myself a little wolf whistle...I looked hot! The black dress perfectly set off my emerald eyes & I'd left my hair loose & wavy around my shoulders & then the shoes...well they were just perfect & I looked tall & elegant & oh there's the bell...

As she walked down the steps & approached the car I just knew we'd not make it to dinner...there's that sashay again! Clary opened the door & she slid onto the seat beside me, her dress riding only slightly a little higher on her thigh but then she looked at me full of thanks & wonderment & I was almost undone. I told her how beautiful she looked & how I hoped the gifts were to her taste & she leaned over to give me a peck on the cheek. I really didn't deserve this, this was normal, this girl didn't deserve the mess I would bring into her life. We toasted with champagne & I instructed Clary to take the scenic route, the bubbles obviously going to her head because there was that look again lust with a touch of daring...was she daring me or herself?

He looked vulnerable as I sat sipping my champagne, like he was in inner turmoil, was this not natural to him, was there someone else in his life? There was definitely a secret but as the bubbles went to my head & again I felt bolder under the influence of a small amount of alcohol I leaned over to kiss him. I wanted the kiss to say its okay, I won't break & I'm enjoying myself. I think the last part came across a lot stronger & our embrace became a whole lot more intense, I was panting again & I knew I was wet already...god he really got me going! I sincerely hoped that was privacy glass as I lifted myself up & straddled him. He unzipped my dress a few inches & my breasts spilled out, he rolled my nipple hard between his fingers all the time looking at me with fire in his eyes & boy was he hard. He raised his finger to my lips & buzzed the intercom instructing Clary to return us to base & as suddenly as I'd found my dress almost coming off I was back zipped up & dispatched to my seat. I'd really blown it now, did he think I was a sex mad vixen or some kind of prostitute? It was obvious he was taking me back home & I sullenly looked out of the window embarrassed at how I'd got it so wrong.

What this girl did to me! I wanted her so badly but not here like this, I wanted to take my time, she was my undoing so we'd do it properly. Ten minutes later Clary opened the door & my heart fell as I realised she thought I'd rejected her & was returning her home...oh Lucinda you really have no idea...so I draped my arm around her & we headed for the elevator all the time her questioning gaze making me further fall apart.

The elevator ascending really messed with my mind. I thought that was it, I thought he'd rejected me yet here we were going back to the office? The air was tense with the sexual tension between us but I really didn't understand...until we arrive at floor 46 & stepped out into Daniels home. Wowza! I thought the office was super sleek & high tech but this was something else. I actually pinched myself as I stepped out of the elevator & onto the white mirror chip granite floor, the lights picking out the sparkle & making it every girls dream. I bent to remove my shoes conscious of what my heels might do to this floor but Daniel instructed me to leave them on telling me in no uncertain terms they would be on all night! He owned the building he told me, all 47 floors & the top three were his alone. One for office space & the top two for living accommodation. He led me to a glass staircase where we came out onto the roof space terrace with a jaw dropping glass walled infinity pool, the likes I'd only ever seen in style magazines, as Manhattan stretched out in a sea of twinkly lights before us. I really wanted to get my camera phone out, Kate would never believe this!

"Champagne Lucinda, come sit" & he waved me over to a seating area & laughed good naturedly as I blew out a long long whistle exclaiming this was beyond my wildest dreams. "Sit for a moment relax then go explore, I'll have Clary arrange dinner, we've got all night"

My lust in the car earlier was somewhat deflated & I was aware I should feel massively out of my depth but Daniel was being the perfect host & I knew Clary was here...& god knows how many other staff someone this rich would have. I sipped my drink & wandered around the terrace, there were some stunning pieces of abstract sculpture & exotic foliage & I swished my hand though the warm pool water as Clary & another servant(?) arranged the dinner on the table.

The food was surely the standard of a Michelin starred restaurant or so I imagined & lord knows how he got it to us so quickly after the change of plans...maybe he had a Michelin starred chef in his employ? The seafood linguine, admittedly not the easiest to eat when you're trying to impress somebody, was devine & we ate in contented silence drinking in the view & the company. After dinner we settled back into the comfy seating area & I felt sated from a good meal, relaxed & really enjoying myself, I could tell Daniel had relaxed too, maybe he felt safer on home territory or was it that control thing again?

I wanted her to relax, to enjoy herself & not be intimidated by the surroundings, I wanted her to feel secure here liked she belonged. God what was wrong with me, I have never wined & dined anyone in my life, much less made small talk but here I was & I was enjoying it. As I watched her sip her champagne she gave me that look again through her lashes over the top of her glass & those emerald eyes blew all my pure thoughts out of my mind.

"Stand & remove ur dress" I'd lowered the top of the zip already so she could easily slide it down & step out of it. She fixed those eyes on mine as the dress fell away & I knew we were in for a long night.

I was wearing a cerise strapless balconette lace bra & thong under my dress so I knew I'd look as good out of it as in & I was also fully aware of how the colour would be striking against my eyes. I felt sexy again...so this is how Mr Hotness likes it to be, him in full control. My hair fell around my shoulders but I scooped it back so he got a full uninterrupted view of my fabulous cleavage. I kept my eyes on him, my gaze never faltering but telling him in no uncertain terms I was ready for him.

"Come" & he beckoned me toward him with his fingers

I felt wild so I knelt before him, never taking my eyes from his & letting him know I can take control too. I unzipped him & took him in my mouth, licking & sucking hard as he writhed & moaned with pleasure beneath me. I used my teeth as I went down further & further & I used my hand to pump him knowing he was close to cumming in my mouth...

& then she stopped! She actually left me there panting & writhing & on the verge of exploding as she sashayed to refill our drinks. She stood, took a sip...there's that look again & beckoned me with her finger over to where she was standing. I was still rock hard as I shed my linen trousers & shirt & there she wrapped her legs around me & rode me for the short time till I came. This girl was unbelievably sexy & so aware of how she was working me but I'd left her unsatisfied...

He carried me back to the sofa, my legs still wrapped around his waist & lay me down. He instructed me to hold onto the top & not to let go, kicking my legs wide & kneeling between them. He took his fingers & slowly began to massage me before slipping two inside me & as I was beginning to get there he slipped another finger into my ass. This made me gasp but he assured me he wouldn't go too far & if I wanted to stop I was just to say the word. He kept his finger in my ass & entered me, I was on the verge & the anal thing was tipping me over, I wanted to grasp his hair with my hands but he fixed me with a look that said do not let go as he pounded away. It was torture not being able to touch him & he ramped it up further by taking my hard nipple between his teeth...I exploded. I think I screamed with desire so loudly the whole of Manhattan would hear but I didn't care & he didn't let up as I gave in to wild abandon.

We were hot & sweaty & I knew we wouldnt get much sleep tonight. I slipped out from under him & headed toward the pool kicking off my heels & shedding my underwear & walking down the steps in the sexiest way I could manage. I swam toward the glass & I felt like I really could swim off the top of the building. I was feeling daring & the adrenalin overrode any misgivings. Within seconds Daniel had joined me courtesy of a graceful swan dive & we were entwined & horny again. With my back against the glass & my legs around his waist Daniel entered me again & it was another moment of raw sex, like he couldn't keep his hands off me & himself out of me, I'd never felt so insatiable. We swam & splashed about then Daniel led me back up the steps into a bathrobe (did Clary see us together? Oh my!) & I curled up on his lap & drifted into a contented slumber.

I awoke maybe an hour or so later & I was in bed with Daniel lay by the side gazing at me with that look of raw lust in his eyes. I was ready to go again, in fact I'd never felt this hot for anybody before ever but as I reached out to him he grabbed my wrist & his eyes turned to steel.

I wanted her to know the real me, what really pleased me & turned me on & I as lay watching her sleep the inner battle raged on. She was awake & reaching out to me before I knew it & I decided it was now or never, tonight had been nice but let's see how far she was prepared to go...although of course I'd be careful to ease her in! She gave me that look as she reached out & as I grabbed her wrist before she could touch me I noted the alarm on her face. I had to reassure her I wasn't going to hurt her & to trust me so she followed me down the hall & promised to keep an open mind but I could see the questions & nervousness on her face.

We entered my favourite room in the apartment, the place where I truly felt I could be myself, the place where I kept my toys & inflicted my pleasure & pain. I was leading her by the hand but as I took a step inside I felt her violently pull from me...

He said he wanted to show me his favourite place to be, he opened the door & I froze in terror, I was aware I let out a long low painful groan & like a flashing sequence of nightmares my past played before my eyes. There in front of me was a torture chamber. He'd brought me here to inflict terror & pain, to make me beg for my life & think I'd never escape alive. I was aware of being picked up & carried down the hall, of worried voices around me, of a brandy glass in my hand & a kind voice urging me to take a sip. As I came to, Clary was sat beside me with a kindly look on his face & thankfully Daniel was on the other side of the room running his fingers through his hair.

"How the hell did I get it so wrong & why the hell didn't u tell me, I told u I wanted all the information & u missed this? Incredible!"

Daniel was shouting through gritted teeth but Clary remained impassive & I gave my protector a thankful squeeze of the hand.

"I'd like it if you could take me home now Clary" & one stare to Daniel told him not to approach me to just stay the fuck away. He thankfully had the good grace not to come after us & after Clary settled me in the car I curled up on the seat wishing the journey home over. Clary walked me to my door, make sure I arrived home safely he said...oh the irony...& also to bare in mind Daniel wasn't a bad person, he just had "certain ways" before bidding me a good night.

Kate was home, I could tell from her shoes & bag dropped in the hallway but I couldn't face her tonight, I just wanted to fall into bed & sleep this night away. What kind of a monster had 'certain ways' that meant he enjoyed taking pleasure from inflicting pain? I felt sick I'd let him near me, fallen for him & even thought he could be my Mr Perfect & heal my wounds. I fell into a restless sleep where reawakened demons came back to haunt me & my heart ached for brokens dreams.

I waited in bed until Kate had left for work, one look at my shattered face would tell her all she needed to know & have her marching round to Stein Beck Corp with a monkey wrench although on second thoughts he'd probably get turned on by that wouldn't he! I was just fixing a coffee when there was a knock on the door & as I put on the safety chain & peeked through I knew it would be him

"Just hear me out, please Lucinda, I have to explain, I have to make you understand"

Well there was little chance of that but he wasn't going to go away so I opened the door & informed him he had five minutes & then I never wanted to see him again.

I didn't know where to start, god I felt a whole load of emotions & just saying sorry wasn't enough. I didn't know until it was too late about the kidnap & torture she'd gone through. I didn't know she was held captive & had to watch as her own father was tortured to death. I didn't know how her mother couldn't bare to look at the broken girl who was saved just hours from death. I didn't know this broken girl had then watched her mother, too guilt ridden to live, take her own life. I just didn't know but I did know how much I'd hurt her & one look at her shattered face told me no matter what I now said, however I tried to justify what I do she wouldn't be able to see past her horrors to ever trust me again.

I didn't want Daniel to speak. I know he came here to try to make me understand & I know he can see the haunted look in my emerald eyes, the look I've taken years & great pains to break free from & never have to show again. I can't ever be with someone who wants to inflict pain for pleasure & that's why I get up from the sofa, walk to the door & ask him to leave.