I want you to think about something. What makes you angry, or sad, or what hurts you. What the words regret and humiliation mean to you. The curse of confusion, and not having control over your own life, not having control or even understanding your emotions. What triggers certain feelings? Such as envy, hatred, even love. What would someone have to make you love them? What if you didn't want to love them?
I was angrily scrubbing out a red stain from the floor of Kisame's room while he was on a mission with his partner, when I decided to ponder the secrets of life. Well, my mind decided to. I was kind of sore, I had slept wrong last night and my right leg and arm felt paralyzed when I woke up. Cold stone does that. Nemuri had been sleeping on Hidan's bed since she got here exactly seven days ago. One week of my normal, everyday life of killing myself over cleaning this massive base, and dealing with Hidan's insults. But now, extra weight was on me because she stared at me as I did it.
You didn't do that. If you are or even were a slave, you always help others because you know the pain and hate to see them working alone. You don't just want to, you need to help them. She just sat there watching me; be it in the living room, on the couch or in Hidan's room. She was quiet, calm, and fragile. She sat on his bed like it was her throne, while I tried to keep the place in check. And his insults and even the occasional strikes were tolerable. Until I caught her smirk. I'd turned away from him in anger when he called me a whore, and she had this pleased smirk on her flawless face. She liked when he put me down. She wanted to see me as low as it could get.
I left Kisame's room, having already finished the house chores. Sometimes I made it a game, like I was Cinderella or something. I had an imagination and I used it, okay? I walked back to the room to see if Hidan had fucked it up again, sighing as I saw Nemuri lounging on the bed, brushing her long hair. Her hair was pretty, dark, silky and fell to the middle of her back. She shot me a glance, smiling. Anyone would be put off by it; but it was condescending. It all was. "Done cleaning?" She asked me. She'd not done one thing since she'd been here. Why was she even here then? And what was she to be treated so perfectly.
I gave her a bored, icy look as I glanced around. No blood or weapons, he must've gone out somewhere. I decided to shower, going to his dresser to fish out a shirt. My own clothes were stained a dark rusty color from the blood and grime as I sat on the floor. I don't know what Kisame did when he went out but he brought back a bloodbath. I had a couple of outfits Konan gave to me, but I tended to sleep in shirts he never wore. He thought he looked good walking half naked all the time. I hated when he was right.
"Why do you snoop through his things? Does he not get angry when his slave touches them?" I pulled out a shirt, closing the drawer and turning to look at her. She blinked in what looked like surprise. I would guess my crimson eyes might look creepy in the dimness. "You're not above me. You lay around like a princess all day, great. I don't know you or what you've gone through, maybe you deserve it. But you don't know me either, and you sure as hell don't know him. I'm not dirty or any less of a person." I said dully, unable to give her the energy of being angry.
"I know him pretty well." She said, shaking her head and folding her long legs beside her. "He's amazing in bed." She told me. I felt a painful mix as my body fought against my mind to not faint or be sick. Her words struck a darker memory and a violent pang of shock. He slept with her? And she liked it?
Then why had I been the one to take his abuse. What was wrong with me?
"Good. Lay back for him." I said, aware that was a biting comment. She'd known him how long and was sleeping with him, and telling me like it was an amazing accomplishment? I had to use this; maybe if he turned his attention to her he'd leave me alone.
I flinched as he called my name from the living room. God damn hope. I tossed the shirt onto the bed, ignoring her pleased smile as I left the room. I tried to run through every possible thing I could have done wrong, nearly sighing in relief as I saw Hidan sitting at the counter in the kitchen. I'd learned that there was no set eating time, they ate when they were hungry and if someone didn't feel like cooking they called me.
I sighed as I lazily threw together something simple and sat it in front of him. I'd eaten already, I stole some of Deidara's food earlier. "Not much of a woman, are you?" He snickered as he ate. I suppose he's referring to my limited culinary skills. "Be grateful I made you anything." I spat back at him. He raised a brow, clearly looking amused. "Be grateful I don't throw you outside to freeze." He responded. He'd done that the other night, tied me to the damn door when it was nearly winter. I didn't stay out all night, but I shivered for hours after.
"Next time I'll just poison that." I hissed, nodding at the food. He smirked. "I wouldn't die." I cursed at him, unable to think of retaliation. Asshole. I looked up as someone joined us, glaring hatefully as Nemuri walked inside, wearing that shirt I'd gotten earlier and no pants. She pulled it off incredibly. It made her legs look longer and body look slender.
She smirked at me as I glared irritably at her. She thought this was a game, I was trying to live and get by without being abused. She needed to quit fucking around. He shot her a sideways glance, eyes narrowing. "What the hell are you doing in my fucking clothes?" He asked her. I turned to hide my surprise that he wasn't practically purring at the sight of her.
"I thought I'd put on something attractive." She replied silkily. "I didn't tell you that you could go through my shit." He replied. I tensed, he sounded angry. I damn my conscience, but I couldn't sit by and let him hurt her if there was at least something I could do. Actually, it might make it worse. My personality split once more* as I wanted to help her and at the same time help myself. "No, I put it on the bed for when I'd take a shower, when your needy ass called me." I replied, taking the plate to wash it.
I caught her baleful look. "Put it back." He said to her, standing up. My eyebrows raised in surprise and slight amusement as she huffed. "Why can she wear them and not me?" She said "she" like I was the worst person in the world. I noticed Hidan glance at me with narrowed eyes. "You ask too many questions." He hissed, glowering at her. I guess even the angel couldn't escape a demon's temper. She then shot me another snotty look, and my other half snapped. "Quit giving me those damn arrogant looks you brat." I growled, glaring down at her.
She withered, eyes widening before they narrowed. "Don't tell me what to do, slavery whore!" She hissed. I felt rage course through me like venom and before I could second guess, I'd slapped her. Pretty hard I guess, since she cried out. With the collar on that stopped my chakra, I frankly wasn't very strong, but any slap would hurt if you put enough behind it. I felt justified, I truly did. She didn't understand her own words.
I gasped as I felt a hand grab my wrist and roughly tug me away, forcing me to walk lest I fall and be dragged. I winced as Hidan dragged me to the bedroom, tossing me inside and looking down at me as he folded his arms. "Proved how much of a dog you are, hm? Going around and attacking people for no reason." He smirked. I was off the ground in seconds, glaring up at him. "I get enough of your shit, that girl comes in here like she is my fucking queen and I'll be damned if she insults me!" How dare he act like this was my fault.
I gasped as he shoved me back hard, causing me to fall backward onto the bed. Despite complaining about her always sleeping here, I had no desire to be in his bed. He descended on me and I tried immediately to shove him off, my mind circling on how sorry I was for even opening my mouth. I flinched when he pinned my arms down. "Watch your damn mouth, you insolent bitch." He hissed into my ear, sending a shiver down my back.
"Or what?" I shot back. Damned if I didn't regret it, but what could he do that he hadn't already done. He'd taken my pride, my control and power, and my innocence. So I challenged him. A forbidding smirk crossed his face. "I'm starting to believe you like being punished." He said, voice toxic. His hand snuck beneath my shirt and up my stomach, causing me to squirm. "Get off!" I hissed, eyes narrowed. I didn't want it to happen again, it hurt.
A cocky look took over his expression. "No." He said, tone almost teasing. I tried to thrash away from him as he cupped my breast, running his thumb across my nipple. I growled hatefully as he pulled my shirt off, using it to tie my arms behind me. "Not very tough now, are we?" He mocked. I felt my face heat up in a blush, biting down on my lip until it hurt. "Fuck off and screw Nemuri." I hissed, turning away from him.
He didn't say anything this time, to my surprise. I shuddered when he kissed my neck. "She isn't nearly as exciting." I felt him smirk against my throat. He bit down on a spot near my shoulder, causing me to grit my teeth to stifle a sound. I felt blood bloom from the wound as he slid his hands down my torso, pulling my pants off. I loathed this feeling of sheer powerlessness I had. He hummed lowly, leaning over me and dragging his tongue across my nipple. I flinched at the hot feeling, struggling slightly. He nipped my breast warningly, making me yelp more out of shock than pain.
I shut my eyes in defeat as he pulled my legs apart, my heartbeat racing. He smirked down at me, sliding his hand along my thigh to my sex and running his finger up and down. I tensed as he chuckled. "It doesn't take much to excite you, does it slut?" He said in a low whisper. I flushed, unable to think of a comeback. Why did my body betray me like this? I thought we were on the same fucking side, body!
He flipped me over onto my knees then, making my eyes widen. I squirmed uncomfortably as he leaned over me, chest against my back.
I couldn't stifle a whimper as he thrust his hips forward, pushing entirely into me. I shut my eyes tightly as shocks of pain reverberated through my being as I was forced to accept him. My breathing turned ragged as I forced myself to relax; it wasn't as horrible as the first time had been. I knew now not to tense or struggle. He growled quietly, pulling out and pushing back in, starting a fast paced rhythm. I grit my teeth hard against any sound leaving my lips, not willing to give him the satisfaction.
He had one hand on the bed and one on my hip, moving hard into me. I tried to ignore this almost painful feeling blooming in my abdomen, squirming slightly in hopes it would go away; but it only grew stronger the longer he kept going. I let soft pants leave my lips as I buried my face against the bed, tense and hot. It was hot.
"You gonna come for me, bitch?" He purred against my neck. I bit my lip hard, wincing as I tasted blood. I wanted to tell him to stop, to tell my body not to respond, but neither would listen. I tensed more so as that strong pressure building inside of me suddenly burst, shuddering with a whimper I couldn't suppress despite desperately trying to. I felt him smirk cruelly against my neck, slamming deep into me. I flinched when I felt him come inside of me, withdrawing then and letting me fall onto my side. "Good girl." He hissed, nipping my ear and pulling back.
I felt painful shame and humiliation bubble over inside of me, but was too tired to listen to the damning comments my inner mind had. I felt the bindings come undone and wrapped my arms around myself, curling into a ball amongst the blankets. He got up, I heard the rustle of fabric as he fixed his clothes before silence. I guess he'd left. I laid there for a moment, contemplating getting up to shower. I finally rose from my self-pity, rummaging around and finding more clothes to wear and then hopping into a hot, hot shower. I hissed as it burned me for a minute until I was used to it, beginning to wash my hair and body. I'd gotten some sort of weird "two-in-one" thing from Konan, made my hair soft and not like some wild tiger in the morning. Smelled good too, I liked fruity scents.
I got out when the water cooled, feeling clean. I was mildly sore and had a lovely love bite on my neck. Asshole. I dressed in my shirt and underwear, brushing my hair until it was straight. I was lucky my hair didn't grow fast, it was still barely hanging to my chin and to the back of my neck. I sighed as I changed the bedding and cleaned up the bathroom, irritably taking the sheets to the washing room. I'd do them tomorrow, it was late right now. I was walking down the hall back to the room when a violent chill came over me. I hadn't heard anything and didn't think of it as anything, being in a place like this would give you shivers.
"Ah!" A soft sound of surprise left my mouth as I was jerked like a rag doll inside one of the abandoned rooms, it had been some kind of storage until I'd gone through it. I landed hard on my front, hurting my chest and stomach. I turned around to tell whoever off -yes clearly no one can break me of my attitude- meeting familiar dark, poisonous eyes.
"Nemuri?" I asked in a rather astounded, almost disgusted tone. I was surprised she'd drug me in here, what the hell could she have wanted. I stood; well, I damn well tried to stand, but she kicked me so hard in the stomach it sent me onto my back with a gasp for air. She leaned over me, hatred clear in her eyes. I glared up at her as the pain spread in my torso. I wasn't like most people that immediately grew worried or cried when hurt, I got angry and cursed or hurt whatever hurt me.
"What the hell is your problem?!" I asked, or demanded… Whichever way you wanted to look at it worked. She knelt, fisting my hair and standing straight again, unfortunately dragging me with her. She slammed my back into the wall behind us. Something I had the displeasure of finding out, was that Hidan had never given her a collar. He either scared her into staying or she willingly did so. She didn't seem at all of a high rank, but she did have chakra, and she was physically strong. Without my chakra and with this damned collar repressing my ability, I was screwed. It sucked the element away, it sucked my animal away, I had as much strength as a normal, small sized sixteen year old girl. And she had the chakra and strength of a tall, twenty year old woman.
I wasn't having a good day.
"You're a fucking whore, and you're proud of it aren't you?" She said with a sneer. "What are you talking about! Have you lost your freaking mind?" I hissed, trying to get her to let go. She punched me hard in the face and I knew as soon as her fist connected, I would have a black eye. "I saw you sleep with him. Moaning for him. You're a disgusting slut who tried to act like she's fighting when she's just desperate for cock."
I, took major issue with this comment. I was pretty sure a whore or slut was someone that slept with dozens of men a week, not someone raped twice. Or was it not rape if you enjoyed it? I didn't though. I held my head then, this wasn't the time for this confusion! She was practically trying to kill me! "He tied me up while I fucking grit my teeth in pain, you insane woman! I'm not like you, I don't lay back and then gloat about sleeping with someone, especially someone who bought you like a dog and treats you even lower!" I spat. She pulled something from her baggy shirt, and I wasn't sure if my heart began beating too fast to feel, or stopped all together.
She was holding a knife.
The silver glint in the dark room was the focus of my vision as she stepped closer. "He's why I'm not still in that shithole. I won't let you screw around with him, you ugly slave." She spat, straddling my hips. I screamed, trying to punch her off. She wrapped one hand around my throat, slamming my head into the stone floor. My vision blacked and became blurry, mind hazy and none of it became completely clear. But I made out her words. I cried out as a sharp pain lit up my stomach, dragging down.
"Let's see if he still likes you when you're scarred."
That whore. I'd picked her up from some sort of dumbass Kakuzu goes to when he wants to drop off a bounty, said he was looking to get rid of a few and gave her to me, I didn't even want her. But what fucking harm could she do? She wasn't bad looking, another slut around could do good while fucking Little Red Riding Hood pranced around like she was too good for life.
I remember first seeing them together, how different they'd looked. I smirked as Amaya's look came back to me, it was like she was asking what the fuck this bitch was doing here. She'd gotten a little irritable since I'd gotten the other girl, Nemuri or whatever her name was. She was disgusted that the other slut acted like she sat on a throne. I let her on the damn bed just to piss off Amaya; it worked, she had one hell of an easy fuse to light.
She never said anything but I think Nemuri talked down to her or something because she'd storm away from her. I was really fucking bored of that chick, Nemuri was nothing for me. She might've had a body, but she didn't meet Amaya on any scale. She was a complete sex addicted bitch. She practically tried to fuck me when I dragged her home. I liked a challenge, not some Jashin damn bitch begging to be screwed. And her eyes, nothing but a dark pool of clotted poison. She thought she could bat her shitty eyes and look sexy or something, didn't work.
She had no personality, it's like she tried to match it to what she thought I'd want or some stupid shit. Boring, no fight, no fire. I could insult her and she'd take it or try to look fucking cute with this stupid pout, you say anything wrong to that fucking dog and she'd tear you a new one, no matter what you tried to do to control her. She was impossible.
I nearly beat the insolence out of her when she asked why Amaya could wear that shirt and not her. Because she looked fucking good in it, that's why.
I sighed as I walked back inside the base, dropping my scythe to the ground. I thought about getting rid of that pathetic woman. I preferred Amaya, she was exciting and damn if she wasn't a good fuck. I walked inside the infirmary to ask Konan to tell her fucking lover* I was taking Nemuri out, stopping when I saw what she was doing.
Amaya turned to look at me, blood dripping from a cut over one of her eyes. Her eyes were a fucked up color between what looked like tried to be red and blue. She was wearing a shirt but it was torn and bloody as well, she had deeper cuts on her legs and bruises on her arms and throat like someone held her down. Blood soaking the front and back proved she had wounds along her stomach too. Put lightly, bitch looked like she got in a fight with a wolf, which would be ironic.
"What the fuck happened to you?" I asked. I didn't really think any dumbass around here would do anything like that to her. Konan washed the blood off Amaya's face, shooting me a glance. "Tobi saw Nemuri leaving one of the old rooms and was curious as to what she had been doing. He walked inside and found Amaya like this, lying on the floor." I felt something come undone. That whore had no reason or right to dare to touch what belonged to me. I stormed from the room, ignoring their questioning looks.
I threw the door to my room open, glaring at the audacious whore as she lay sprawled over my bed like some sort of sex toy. She looked at me, smiling. I grit my teeth. "You look angry… Is it something she said?" She purred. "She shouldn't bother you for a while." Did she fucking think she'd get on my good side with this?
I grabbed her arm and jerked her off the bed harshly, dragging her outside. It was dark and she immediately began shivering. I slammed her back against a tree, glaring down at her. I smirked at the terror in her eyes.
"I told you not to touch what was mine, bitch."
I'm mildly surprised most of you though Amaya would kill her, though amused as well. I was going to end up with her doing it, but wasn't happy with the idea because that's really not in her nature unless she's in real danger. And so, the best friend and beta and gave me an idea, and this is the result. I asked my sister's opinion on it; she liked it as well, so here's this. While I knew it showed Amaya was jealous of Nemuri, I couldn't find a way to show Hidan's slowly growing feeling towards her, so this is how we thought it could work. "We." I have a writing team, apparently.
And like I told Sassy-chan, we can just say Hidan doesn't like those touching what's his.
*- Amaya does have a split personality disorder that we'll get deeper into. You might have caught bits of it already.
*- Yes I am implying Pein and Konan are together.