Note: Okay, so my Tekken Tag 2 hype suddenly heightened considerably, so I'm further neglecting my Persona stories to bring you… this. This chapter is mostly setting up the situation and such, so it will be a bit slower than future things, yes. I'm still working on Rise the Vampire Slayer, by the way. It just so happens to be a particularly difficult story to write. ANYWAY here's some Tekken nonsense.


Everyone notices me as I walk down the street, and why shouldn't they? I mean, I don't mean to be vain, but I am the most beautiful person alive. My long, flowing blonde locks get everyone's attention, as well as my impeccable, immaculate, picture perfect fashion sense.

Indeed, I am truly the very epitome of flawlessness.

As this particular épisode of my fabulousness began, I was just walking down the streets of Shibuya, Tokyo on a beautiful summer day after a couple of nice men had just escorted me out of a store in a very chivalrous manner. I'm… never allowed in there again.

As the great Emilie de Rochefort (you can just call me Lili) has gone mondial, I of course have my own villa here in Japan. My father has been having financial difficulties, so I decided to make it out there on my own, which I am most certainly doing.

~a month ago~

"My dear Lili… we've lost everything! My company has gone bankrupt, they're taking away the mansion, and we're up to our eyes in debts! However, I still feel like the richest man in the world to have you for a daughter… you give me hope for the future, my dearest Lili."

"Yeah, I'm leaving."

"W-what?!"

~present day~

I do so miss Father.

But indeed, the streets of Shibuya are quite dapper as always. How very magnifique. Ah, there it is. My brilliant mansion. My most elegant place of residence. My sacred sanctuary of all that is fabulous and, as they say in Japan, kawaii.

It is time for me to retreat there for the day and lay back in de luxe.

That is, when I've ascended these multiple staircases. How very charming they are. I do always need a fair bit of exercise, yes.

Ah, there's the gate to my château. I bid thee farewell, for I am passing through its elegant entrance.

creeeeaaaaak

"Asuka, the door is still doing the creaky thing! I thought you said you were fixing it!"


~Parfait Magnifique~

Chaptitre Un
Prétentieux et Désespéré


"Oh, what. She isn't even here?"

With a soft sigh, Lili put down her single shopping bag and headed over to the living room sofa. It was a modest apartment, the current tenants of which were Lili and her sworn rival/best frienemy/heterosexual (?) life partner Asuka Kazama.

In an attempt to gain more independence, Asuka had moved away from her family's house and to a relatively inexpensive apartment block in Shibuya. Following the events of the fifth King of Iron Fist Tournament, she and Lili had actually exchanged Skype details, so that Lili could 'get to know her enemies', and had been keeping in touch since then.

Putting the whole ridiculous (and mostly one-sided) rivalry aside, the two found out that they had quite a bit in common, also putting aside their wildly differing personalities. As time went on, they had become best frienemies.

With her family's impending bankruptcy, Lili gradually became aware of Asuka's plans of moving awayness. In fact, it happened a bit like this…

~also a month ago~

"So, things are pretty tough at the Rochefort's, huh? That sucks."

"Indeed, I believe Father has been trying to tell me for the past week, but the furthest he ever gets is 'we are'. At one point, he got out of it by saying 'we are getting married, the maid and I'. I mean, ew."

"I guess your dad really doesn't wanna let you down, huh? Anyway, I'm moving to this apartment in Shibuya in a few days, and—"

"Take me with you."

"…huh?"

"Take. Me. With. You. Please let me live with you, staying here is so incredibly déprimant."

"…you'd have to pay rent, y'know."

"I-I have some money saved… I think."

"Er, okay… I'm heading over there by train in like four days… I could give you the address and then we could sort stuff out when you get there."

"Wow, really? I-I mean, you're actually letting me live with you…?"

"Well, yeah. You said you were having trouble, and I guess we're kind of friends, so…"

"A-ahem. Of course. Yes. Indeed. Verily. I-I'll just… be making the approprié preparations, yes."

"Lili, are you crying?"

"No! I just have allergies, that's all… anyway, I really must be going now. I bid you farewell, Asuka Kazama."

"Yeah, yeah. Call me later, okay?"

"Yes, indeed… a-and, um… thanks.

-Call ended-

~we're going back to present day now okay deal~

About a week after their conversation, Lili had arrived in Shibuya as she said she would. That was a few months ago, and the two had settled in somewhat nicely since then.

It was a modest apartment, kitchen and living room fused into an uncomfortable super room, a single and very dinky bathroom, and two small bedrooms. A moderate amount of fuss was made about the latter.

"I want that one. It's bigger. No, wait, that one's bigger. Which one is bigger?"

"They're the same size, Lili. Just… pick one, or I'll do it for you."

"No. No! I, a lady of Rochefort heritage, am perfectly capable of choosing my chambre à coucher. I pick this one."

"Alright, then that takes care of that."

"Do we paint it pink now or should that wait until later?"

"…"

"What?"

"…nothing."


Lili had salvaged a decent bit of her belongings from Rochefort Manor, which gave the place a certain amount of pizzazz. The living room had a generously sized HD TV and a PlayStation 3, two things Asuka could most certainly not afford on her own.

"I'm home! Oh, Lili. You're here. Whatcha doing?"

"Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I play games. No, I'm not making you a sandwich…"

Sighing at the blonde's incoherent mumbling, the brunette put her sports bag on the kitchen table, closing the door behind her. Asuka had her hair neatly tied into a ponytail, having just returned from her part-time job at a local bicycle equipment store. Someone had to have an income, and that someone sure wasn't going to be Lili. In actuality, she had tried to get part-time jobs before, but poor Lili did have a tendency to get fired.

If it weren't for Asuka's modest salary and occasional money sent from her family, the gruesome twosome would most certainly be very broke.

"Huh? Oh, hello, Asuka." Lili hastily looked over to her very Japanese roommate, smiling somewhat sheepishly. "I was just flashing back to when we were about to move in here."

"Flashing back to that? It's only been a month." Asuka shrugged, joining the Monegasque lass on her busy day of sitting.

"Do not be silly. It is, after all, the first page of the story, and one has to get the exposition out of the way."

"…what are you even talking about?"

Lili pursed her lips and reached for the TV remote at the table in front of them. "Oh, never do mind."

Asuka eventually dismissed Lili's ramblings, changing the subject.

"I think we're out of Dr. Salt."

Lili's ears perked up at Asuka's words, and she let out a melodramatic gasp.

"How very dreadful! How are we going to cope with being without our favoured overcaffienated boisson?"

Asuka's response was handing a 1000 yen note over to Lili. "Think you can go out and get some? I'm starting dinner soon, so…"

Lili glanced at her golden pocket watch, then back at Asuka. It was already 7:30pm. Had it really gotten that late?

"Do say no more. This task is one I am most certainly and definitely capable of!"

"You sure? I don't want you getting into any more fights with pedestrians."

"They were asking for i—!" Lili regained her composure and took a deep breath. "Right. No more street fights. Check. I'll just be gone a minute!"

"Don't forget to give me the change, okay? Okay?"

Asuka flashed an amused grin waved half-heartedly to Lili as she dashed off through the door in search of places that carry Asuka's beloved beverage.

"…come to think of it, does she even know where the convenience stores here are?" Asuka said to herself, but decided to dismiss it and get to cooking. Lili would be fine. She is, after all, not stupid.

Yes.

Lili would do juuuuuuuuuuuust fine.


Having walked a whole 100 metres without kicking anyone's face in, it looked as if everything would be going Lili's way this time. However, as if on cue…

"Oof!"

"Gah!"

In a rare inversion of events, the rudeness of a careless pedestrian caused Lili to end up on the ground. Some doofus on the sidewalk hadn't been looking where he was going, causing him to crash into our gorgeous protagonist.

"H-how dare you exhibit such impitoyable behaviour towards me? Don't you know who I am?" Lili growled angrily at the similarly earthbound ruffian, who did look awfully familiar. "Hey, don't I know you?"

"Hm? You say something? Here." Getting up, the discourteous hooligan glared at Lili before eventually offering his hand.

"I can stand myself up, thank you." Studying the man's features, Lili was only able to come to one conclusion. The bright red hair, the muscular frame, the very gay fashion sense… "You're that Korean type whose face I rearranged at the tournament!"

"Wha— we met at the tournament?" The Korean man scratched his head. "I don't really remember…"

"Probably because my stylish and very expensive boots caused a concussion or something. Anyway, what was your name, again? Howrong?"

"It's Hwoarang."

"Wha… rang…?"

"It's pronounced Hwoarang! Like Hey, whoa, a… rang?"

"Who… ran… oh, forget it. Anyway, what are you doing here? Don't you have Korean stuff to do back in Korea? Go on, shoo." Lili motioned for Hwoarang to go away, which he would then scoff at.

"Oh, what, like you have any more right to be here than I do. You trying to start something, bitch?" Hwoarang put up his fists, completely unaware of what he was holding in his right hand.

"A shopping bag? For me? Aw, you shouldn't have!" With that, Lili quickly snatched the bag out of Hwoarang's hand, not noticing the rather large crowd that had amassed around them.

"Huh? N-no! Give that back, don't look into it!"

Lili gracefully opened the bag to take a look at its contents. As she did so, her eyes widened rather widely, much like dinner plates.

"Hm, isn't this that Jin Kazama guy who won the fifth tournament? What, there's an action figure… no, two action figures, some posters, a DVD, t-shirts…"

The look Lili gave Hwoarang said more than fifty billion words ever could.

"It's just… for research…" The Korean gentleman's face reddened considerably as he froze in place. His true colours had been exposed for all to see, and by a snooty rich girl at that! "Anyway, you're giving that back to me right now!"

"Uh, yeah."

"Whoa!"

As quickly as she snatched it away, Lili hastily tossed the bag back to the startled Hwoarang, who just barely caught it.

"I really have no business with your masturbatory aids. What you do in your own time…" Lili shrugged and began walking away from the redhead, the crowd gradually dissolving.

"Mastur— it's not like that, really!" Hwoarang reached his hand out, hoping to get Lili to stop. "Really, there's a perfectly good explanation for why I bought all that junk!"

With that, Lili stopped dead in her tracks, but not for the reason Hwoarang hoped.

"Bought…?"

"Yeah, as I was sa— GHAAGHDFH!"

Hwoarang was unable to finish his sentence, as it was interrupted by a sudden roundhouse kick to the gut from Lili.

"Goodness, how épouvantable! I completely forgot about the most righteous errand assigned to me by Asuka!" Lili looked down at the cowering Tae-Kwon-Do fighter, who had been most certainly caught off guard by the sudden attack. "I'm very sorry, Mr. Hondoodledanz, but we will have to conclude our tiff another time. Adieu!"

With that, Lili dashed off in search of Asuka's beloved Dr. Salt, leaving Hwoarang's final words unheard.

"It's… Hwoarang…"


After rummaging through and eventually getting kicked out of several convenience stores, Lili finally managed to procure a bottle of Dr. Salt. Mission most certainly and definitely accomplished.

"I did it! And it only took me…" Lili cheerfully looked at her watch, after which her expression darkened. "…two and a half hours? That can't be right. This watch must be broken."

As she got nearer to the modest apartment complex she currently inhabited, Lili couldn't help but notice an obstacle standing in her way. A few inches away from her face, to be exact.

"I'm so gonna make you pay for publicly humiliating me!" Hwoarang said in a very menacing manner.

"Oh, please. I don't think anyone was paying any attention." Lili smiled mischievously. "So why don't you just go disappear, Hondoreanaz?"

"My name is Hwoarang, and shut up!" Hwoarang took a leap backwards and went into fighting position. "I'm gonna make you regret having ever messed with me."

"Pfft!" Lili had almost dropped her bag in the ensuing fit of laughter. "Oh, mercy, you're acting so lame! Not to mention that you said that you were going to make me pay. That part was very amusing."

The blonde wiped a few tears from her eyes, attempting to regain her composure.

"Very well." Lili flipped her hair dramatically, and assumed a fighting stance. "We shall see who will be making who pay."

"Is there a problem?"

Lili and Hwoarang both froze in place as a patrolling police officer caught wind of their little spat, the crowd dissipating once more. The officer glared at the two suspicious foreigners, pulling out a vaguely threatening-looking notebook.

"N-no! No problems here, officer! Right?" Hwoarang put on the world's most awkward smile, an act Lili would most certainly have to upstage.

"Oh, dear goodness…" Tears began to well up in Lili's eyes as her posture weakened. "I-I didn't mean to be causing trouble, officer… could you find it in your heart to pardonnez moi…?"

Needless to say, the police officer let the two go with just a warning. There isn't a man alive who could resist Lili's 'teary eyed' act.

"That was pretty much terrible." Lili sighed and walked along, Hwoarang tagging right behind her. "This day has been so very un-très bien."

Hwoarang said nothing, and kept following the regal-looking blonde up to the familiar apartment complex. He studied her outfit, a frilly white dress that wouldn't look out of place at Harajuku. It was a sharp contrast to his very questionable leather ensemble, a look most people wouldn't be seen dead in.

"Will you stop following me already?"

"Huh?"

Lili had turned around, shooting Hwoarang another soul-piercing glare. The cheery shopping bag she held was gently ruffling in the wind.

"I'm not following you, this is where I live!" Hwoarang groaned. "Could you get out of my way now, please?"

"Quoi?" A cold sweat ran down Lili's face. "A-are you planning to seize my château? Because I will not allow you to do that! Not now, not ever!"

"Don't flatter yourself, Frenchie. I live in this apartment place, too, y'know." Hwoarang shrugged and walked around Lili, eventually disappearing through the front door.

"We're neighbours…? Wait…" Lili stood there in silence before she screamed out to the heavens in rage.

"I'm not French! I'm Monegasque!"


"Where the hell were you? It's been three hours!" Asuka had already eaten her share of moderately pleasant hayashi rice, Lili's share of which was currently residing in the fridge.

"Sorry… I ran into a rude ruffian who accosted me. I escaped with this, though!" Lili triumphantly held up the shopping bag, to which Asuka sarcastically clapped.

"Well, you at least managed to do what I asked you, so I guess I shouldn't be too mad." Asuka smiled slightly. "Your dinner's in the fridge, so you can go ahead and heat it up. I made hayashi rice, by the way. I think I did okay."

Lili grinned pleasantly and did just that, Asuka decided to extract the bottle of Dr. Salt from its shopping bag-shaped prison.

However, her expression quickly darkened as she saw its label.

Diet Dr. Salt

"I can't drink this…"