"Annabeth, I honestly have no idea what the Hades I'm doing—"

"I'm twenty-three weeks pregnant, Percy. Do you honestly expect me to be able to do my own nails? I can't even see my toes, much less paint them."

"But I'll get it all over me!"

"Stop whining, Perseus—you sound like a baby. No pun intended."

"I do not sound like a baby! And don't call me Perseus!"

"I won't call you Perseus if you just shut up and paint my freaking toenails."

"Ugh, fine. What do you even want these done for? You hate makeup and all that girly stuff."

"I know, but Jason and Piper's wedding is next weekend, and we have to drive out to California because obviously you can't fly—"

"Wait, seriously? They're getting married next weekend?"

"The invitation's been on the fridge for months, Seaweed Brain. With the twenty million trips you make to the kitchen every day, I would've thought it would be drilled permanently into your brain by now."

"Cursive—writing—dyslexia—stupid—don't—like—"

"Your skills at forming coherent sentences are severely lacking right now, Percy."

"Maybe that's because you're making me paint your godsdamned toenails at midnight on a Tuesday."

"Well, the wedding's not till Sunday, but I wanted to plan ahead."

"Gods, on Sunday?"

"Yeah, that's May fourth—"

"Oh my gods, like Star Wars day? May the fourth be with you!"

"Percy, stop waving that nail polish around—you'll get it all over something—"

"THESE ARE NOT THE DROIDS YOU ARE LOOKING FOR!"

"Percy Jackson!"

"Oh, gods. Pregnant woman holding a knife. Just—Annabeth, be careful with that thing!"

"Be afraid. Be very afraid."

"Damn it, Wise Girl, seriously? You almost sliced off my ear!"

"I'd give you my best evil laugh right now, but the neighbors would think I was psychotic."

"You are psychotic."

"Wrong thing to say, moron."

"Oh, shi—"

A/N: Hehe, that was fun. I feel like Percy and Annabeth really do love each other, but it manifests itself with insults, weapons, and all-out wars over toenail polish at midnight on a Tuesday. It's visible here if you squint. Hope you guys enjoyed! :)

EPC