He missed him.

He missed the glass in his voice that poured out like the rain and thunder. The glass that could melt into sculptures or tear apart the callouses on his fingers. He missed the fields of amethysts and poppies in his eyes that would hide momentarily behind curtains of black stalagmites, and how they moved and waved with grace across the room and the shattered plates.

"I have to go,"

No, you don't.

And he missed the feathers in his hair that ruffled up like birds after being drowned in his baths. He missed his touch that felt like ivy wrapping up along stone gates, making its mark on humanity. And he missed how his hives of words turned into honey in his ear, turning an adult perspective into the words of a children's book.

"I have to go,"

No, you don't.

He missed the sugar on his lips and the candy in his throat. He missed his pearly teeth, each one dug up from the carcass and innards of oysters. He missed how his tongue flicked, and how his cheeks puffed up. He missed his muted colors and his bony shoulders. He missed his knobby knees and his see through chest, where his heart was absent, instead worn on his sleeve. He missed his abdomen, which vomited butterflies and petunias and geraniums and marigolds. He missed his very presence which was the very color in his life. He was the blue, the pink, the purple the periwinkle. He was all the shades of silver and purple.

"I have to go,"

No, you don't.

He missed his red lips, his pink fingers, his purple eyes, his icy hair. He missed his flushed cheeks, his nipped nose, his white knuckles, his white skin. He missed his face, his voice, his words, his name, oh God he missed his God damned name on their God damned house plate.

"I have to go,"

No, you don't.

"Please, Yuki, I'm sorry, I have to go."


No, you don't.

No you don't. You don't have to go. You don't have to go anywhere not without me. Not with you leaving me behind. This wasn't how it was 6 months ago. This wasn't how it was supposed to be you were supposed to stay with me.

"I have to go,"

"No, you don't!"

Yuki Sanada was a grieving 17 year old boy.

A boy with a hole in his heart in the shape of the letters H-A-R-U. And he tried and he tried every day to fill that void but nothing could replace the presence of someone who changed his life. He remembers the day they parted. He remembers his sweet words and his pearly whites that would be engraved within him for eternity.

"Goodbye Yuki!"

"Goodbye Haru!"

And just like that, he was gone. And as Yuki watched him turn into another cloud in the sky, he flinched, and a train of words and sentences and apologies and pleas and things left unsaid crashed together halfway in his throat.

And he drowned.

Natsuki Usami, one of his closest friends and his only fishing companion looked up at him, shaking and talking to himself.

"Are you okay?"

"Huh? What? Oh, yeah, right. No, I'm fine. I promise."

He shook his head and regained control over the fishing rod in his hands.

"Lovely night, isn't it?" He knew that Natsuki knew he was thinking about Haru again, and the last thing he wanted was more advice-lectures from a serpent tongue. But it wasn't a lie. Enoshima was blessed with scarce clouds and clear water on a night with a shy moon. And he looked and admired the surface, a tiny lake more like a sea of short, waving bluebonnets under his rod drowned beneath the surface.

Just like him.

"You know, Yuki," Natsuki began, "It'd be best to forget about Haru, we'll be graduating soon and we'll have to move on."

Salt on the wound.

"I know, Natsuki," but he can't forget him. No matter how hard he tries he sees him in his dreams and he feels him in his bones, the same bones that yearn and ache to be with him in the stars. How could he forget him when every word he spoke and every sound that came out of his mouth spoke universes of eventualities?

And then there was silence. A long, painful silence, the kind that made a second last an hour and each flinch seem like a break out.

"It's getting late Yuki, I'm going home."


They packed up their belongings in silence.

"Yuki, all this worry and stress will make your hair turn gray. Please, for the sake of you and all your friends, forget about him."

And with that, he turned around and parted from him. Yuki watched him as he, like Haru, became another speck in the distance. And as Natsuki walked, he clenched his fist and bit hard on his lip.

"Please Yuki… you mean so much to me."

They both cried that night.

(A/N) Aaah... This is my first time submitting a story to fanfic net, please be gentle, and also please leave feedback!