The first chapter! Okay so if you're not familiar with me, boywithbreadlover, this is the sequel to The Fate Games, which is The Hunger Games in Peeta's POV and this is Catching Fire in Peeta's POV, it's not necessary that you read The Fate Games, to read this, but it would be really awesome if you did! To all the readers that encouraged me to do this, here you go! I hope you love the first chapter! Enjoy! I do not own Catching Fire so any direct quotes will be in italics!
It's not easy getting out of bed each morning. It would be so simple to just lie there, almost lifeless and let people forget about me. My family wouldn't notice, Katniss wouldn't care, Haymitch might miss the bread, but would it even matter? Sometimes I wonder how it would be different if Katniss had just given into the Capitol and let me die. What if that nightlock was never found and Katniss got to go home alone? Things would definitely be simpler. I feel like I get in the way of everyone, even my family.
At least one of them stays the night at my new house in Victor's Village each night, but it's easier to just stay at the bakery, to forget about their broken family member. My mom wasn't good at comforting me when I got back, she never questioned my screams at night or my walking through the house in the middle of the night, she ignored it. And it hurt. My mom was supposed to be there for me, through thick and thin, but she acts like nothing happened. She acts as if Katniss never broke my heart and that I'm not some lost and scared victor. Marcus is the one who comforts me, he's the one that stays over most nights, and wakes up to help me from my nightmares. But I know there is only one person that can truly help me from the nightmares. Katniss.
Sometimes, if my nightmare is so convincing that Katniss died, I walk out my front door. In the middle of the night, I leave my house and stand in front of Katniss'. I point out the things that show that some one is living there, that indeed Katniss is still alive. Sometimes it takes hours to convince myself that Katniss is in there, asleep, breathing. What I really want to do is to walk right into the house, go to the room I've never seen, open up the covers and let her back into my arms. But I know she wouldn't welcome it. I know she wouldn't ever want me to do that.
We don't talk. Not after all those nights in our cave and the promises of living. She doesn't even really acknowledge me. Her eyes dart away when I try to look at her. When I deliver the bread to her house each morning she's never the one at the door. Sometimes she's back in the living room and I can see her braid or her boot, but I never see her. Prim tries to talk to me and to welcome me into their home, but I know Katniss wouldn't want that so I don't except the invitation.
"Peeta I'm headed to the bakery. I'll be back before your team gets here. Or I'll try. But you better get started on the bread for your friends." It's Marcus outside my door, waiting for me to invite him in and say goodbye. Today is the day we start our victory tour. My whole team will be here, Effie, Portia, Rake, Lucinda, Talia, all of them. I'll be back with Katniss; we'll be hopefully talking again. Maybe I can at least get her to be my friend if she doesn't want to be my love.
"Come on in. I was awake anyways." Marcus opens the door quickly and is also quick to plop down on my bed.
"Are you ready?" He asks, running his hand through his hair something he started doing since I got home.
"Not exactly. I don't know how Katniss will react." Will she even talk to me?
"I'm sure she'll be nice enough. You've just got to use that Mellark charm. Listen, I'd love to talk more, but I'll be back soon. Dad just needs me today. I'll be back before you leave. I promise." He hugs me and rushes out the door down the stairs and I hear the door slams as he leaves me completely alone. Right now all I want to do is paint. It relieves a lot of tension, but I know I need to be ready faster. I usually take bread to Haymitch and the Everdeen's each morning. I make the bread here; I only go to work at the bakery once a week. A lot of people react when they see me working, I guess I'm just supposed to do nothing. It would be nice to just paint all day, all my fears, and my worries, disappear into the painting. I paint whatever came to haunt me in my nightmares the night before. Usually moments from the arena. But it helps to just let it out of my mind and on the canvas, and even though it's permanently on the canvas, it seems to disappear from my mind.
Today I can't paint. I have to bake; I don't have a lot of time today. I get to work on the dough. Baking also helps, but not as much. I take my frustrations out in baking; I let my fears slip away while painting. They both do different things. Right now, I think I need both, I'm so frustrated that Katniss won't talk to me, but I'm so scared that she'll never actually talk to me again.
It's easy and freeing kneading the dough, hitting it against the table, letting all of the things I hate about right now fade to the back of my head. My life has not been easy in the last couple months. After the cameras left and District Twelve was back to normal Katniss left, my family didn't appear as much, and Haymitch became a full time drunk. Haymitch still talked to me, we still had a pretty good relationship, but he just wasn't enough. I needed her to hold my hand, to tell me everything was going to be okay. Not Marcus or Haymitch, but Katniss. I try to remind myself that she did have to feel something. The way her lips worked against mine was just so perfect. All those nights in the cave weren't nothing. They couldn't be.
Some moments I feel like going insane.
I hope you liked it! If we're lucky the next chapter(s) will be up tomorrow, but it's my first day of school so don't get your hopes up. Don't forget to REVIEW on the way out! Thanks! ~boywithbreadlover