He woke with a start, once again in the early hours of the morning. At least it was daylight, he mused. But more pressing matters were at hand.
"Again... I keep on reliving that day..."
He buried his face in his hands. It's not unusual, he tried to tell himself. If everyone died and came back to life they'd have nightmares too, he said.
Except he was the only guy who'd accomplished that, all whilst being completely conscious. As if on instinct, his hand moved to his chest, where the bullet wounds were little more that small areas of slightly pink raised skin. Scars that probably would never heal, yet in time the pain would go away, the doctor said.
He wondered if the doctor meant that about the other losses that day, as well.
He'd lost Aya, too. He'd almost lost Eve, as well, but he might has well have, since he can't even look at her in the eye anymore.
He didn't blame her for being in Aya's body, she couldn't really change it- nor did he wish she had gone instead of Aya, because neither of them could have coped with the loss of Eve.
Unfortunately, no matter who had gone, mourning was the natural response.
He got up and ready, then went out.
Even though it had been two months since that Christmas, New York still remained icy and a small amount of snow was banked on the pavements. He wondered what New York would look like now, if Aya had died as she originally did, overrun with Twisted? Or would the Babels still be forming underground, with rogue Slacker attacks being covered up by the government in the fear of a new biological weapon?
He knew he had to get his head out of that past, away from all the confusion and the strange being that made his body its home when he was a High One.
He also hated to think that he'd hurt Eve, in that other timeline. When he was that thing, he lost awareness too many times to count, and he was the one that drew the countless Twisted, including the deadly Worms to the North Shallows Tower. He was the one who summoned razor blades and opened portals to other worlds to send to Eve, laughing maniacally.
He felt so evil after the time shift when Eve explained everything to him. He'd hurt the second most precious person in his world, without even realising it.
It seemed impossible, though Aya had corrected the timeline here, and people lived about their normal lives without fear, to get away from that other past. He was supposed to be looking for her, but the past haunted him and he couldn't run away from it.
He'd never run from a problem, that wasn't how he was brought up. When he was pretending to be a P.I. to throw Aya off his trail, he had to face every problem to fixed hints to the Ark's projects, even all the NMCs.
He shuddered. He wanted to curse mitochondria and all it was worth, because if Aya and Melissa hadn't had that strange mutation in theirs during the Blockade incident, no one would have started creating NMCs, no SWAT team would have crashed the wedding and none of the entire Twisted incident would have ever happened, if not for those mitochondria.
But he couldn't bring himself to. Mitochondria was the thing that took everything from him, but it was what kept him standing here today.
No, he couldn't put the blame on anyone or anything, he decided. He didn't really believe in fate, either. He wanted to ask why, but he knew he would get no answer.
He didn't even realise where his feet were taking him until he reached the plaza.
The last time he was here, there was rotting remains on the ground, dead soldiers everywhere with a turret in the left corner and the sky was a blood red.
He was leading the apparition of Eve somewhere, to where, the Higher One knew, but had chosen not to tell him.
It was the first time he'd seen Aya after the original wedding. She'd just killed Gabrielle Monsigny, and had a terrible case of amnesia.
She didn't know who he was.
Not that it mattered, for he had already started to forget.
He had to blink twice, to check that Aya wasn't standing there, and of course, she wasn't. He fiddled with the rings on his finger, then pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing.
He had to find her, soon. He'd go mad with the memories. Yet still he knew he had to stay in New York, he knew Aya was still there, somewhere.
He had pondered returning to Dryfield, but then he remembered anything of semblance would've been destroyed in the nuclear blast. And a nagging in the back of his mind told him that she'd not be there anyway.
Day after day had passed, and he still wandered the streets with some glimmering hope, that one day, she'd appear like Eve had sworn she had on her birthday.
Of course he'd never doubted her, but he'd joked with her that she was playing hide and seek with him. Seeing Eve smile, however, made him smile weakly in response, remembering that he had a job to do.
Yes, he never ran away from a problem. And this was his biggest one ever. But he knew that it would be worth it, because he was Kyle Madigan, and he had to find his Eternity.
A/N: Hooray, the probably-not-awaited-let-along-long sequel (of sorts) to The Moment of Truth. This probably isn't what you were expecting... Since this appears to be a very angsty one shot about Kyle.
And appearances aren't deceiving, on this one.
But I have got my 'muse' back, so I might write more. :|
Thank you for reading, and if you don't mind reviewing, that would be great!