A/N: Hello me beloved readers. After reviewing my fic and after a quick chat with my lover boy, ShadowHawk, I realized that this fic was lacking the recommended dosage of Harley Jest-ness! So I decided to make this last chapter jam packed with everyone's favorite Jester of Crime and her lover doing what they do best... no not that! (Sicko) Their jobs!
Disclaimer: Okay okay you should know by now that only in my dreams would I own something as wonderful as Batman Beyond. DC comics and WB owns everything but my Harley Jest and Nightshade. Those two are mine! I don't own the songs I use in most of my fic(s) except Dark Lure, that one I made up. Okay so now that that's done and over with let's go on with the final chapter!
I am...after all Harley!
Internal bleeding, broken ribs, a few fractured bones, some cuts and scratches, and splicing side effects. Whoa I feel like a used car. Harley chuckled as she looked over the small words written in ink on her medical sheet.
Batman stood next to her hospital window with his dark arms crossed over the red bat of his suit. So I see you're doing better. He stated looking his former adversary over.
Harley smiled tossing the papers into the air so that they fell onto the ground in a chaotic flurry. She laughed to herself falling back on the pillows careful not to pull out the useless tube that fed her morphine. They say I'll be out soon, all thanks to that stuff Red gave me, it does wonders to the healing system. They say it might be because of it that I was able to resist the side effects for so long.
Batman nodded. Nightshade was suppose to go to jail after the hospital was done with him but he got away the other night.
I've heard, I cant believe he skipped out on his bill. Harley said reclining onto her bed. And since I've done nothing wrong intentionally ever since I've been released from juvy the police can't touch me. She smiled.
Batman nodded as he turned his back on her. Did you hear about Jonas? He asked barely tilting his head in her direction.
Harley smirked. It makes you wonder how a musical jewelry box could just explode like that.
You'll be free to go soon Harley. I'm not going to say anything about the bomb if you promise that if you ever return to your old habits that you'll go peacefully to jail. Batman said turning to look her in the eye.
If you catch me I'll go peacefully to jail. Harley said holding up her hand. Mandy scouts honor.
Batman nodded before he disappeared out of the window. Harley smiled as she removed the IV from her arm. Time for some serious RR. Reckless recreations! She smiled rubbing her hands together before pressing the call button.
Down the hallway of bright lights and white walls a single window was suddenly lifted open by a green hand. No one took notice as a green skinned man stepped in from the twelfth story window onto the hall. He adjusted a bouquet of live sweet smiling daffodils in his hand then looked about. Now which room was Harl's again? He wondered to himself when a loud shout could be heard from down the opposite hall. With a roll of his green eyes he walked towards the source of the scream.
A nurse with lipstick painted over her face quickly ran by the confused Chris. Don't go in there! Shell get you! She stated heading into the bathroom to hide.
Inside of room 12-16 Harley sat on the stomach of a frightened orderly with a long tube in her clutched fist, two others stood against the wall too frightened to make a move.
But I don't really need or want a sedative. But as for you, you need some spiritual cleansing or cleansing period. Time for an enema! She sang grabbing hold of the orderly's uniform bottoms.
Chris cleared his throat causing Harley to look away and the orderlies to grab their friend and bolt. Aren't you suppose to be resting? He asked walking into the room.
They just don't make orderlies like they use to. Harley smiled as Chris took a seat on the bed.
Hear about the explosion? Shame those false diamonds had to go. Chris smiled placing his gift down on the side table.
She wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him towards her in a hug. She smiled up at her green boyfriend. Poor doc couldn't tell the difference between diamonds and cut glass. Haha! You know it has been over a week since you and I last...had a moment's peace together.
Chris looked down on her with wide eyes. Harl we're in a hospital. He said in a whisper.
Harley looked around at the empty room. I had not notice before. She said sarcastically. Now tell me darling when have you known me not to have a one-track mind? If you answer that I'll play doctor with you instead of those orderlies. She growled deep in her throat emphasizing her warning. Like I said my beloved Red, I've missed you more than you will ever realize. She whispered digging her nails into his arms and giving him a small peck.
Harl we're not going to do that in a hospital. He said.
Harley laughed. I wasn't hinting at THAT! Just sit here with me and enjoy our time together before someone brave enough comes to check on me.
Chris sat down among the pillows with Harley letting her use his chest as her pillow. So what are we going to do now?
I'm going to finish school of course, get my diploma. And spend just a little more time with Emily.
Chris looked at her shocked. Have you lost your mind? He asked.
Harley pressed her lips in thought. Um no, I know it's in my room somewhere. She joked.
The bitch kidnapped you and allowed some jerk to put some kind of animal cells into your DNA and exploited your capabilities. He said.
You forgot to add that the jerk would beat me senseless. But the woman's lonely babe and shes my mother. Her best friend in the world is a bottle of alcohol. Harley said. She thought back to the few weeks after she and Emily had just began to get along.
Late at night when she could not sleep she could hear Emily crying to herself. She remembered coming home late one night from a romp around town with the CirCus to find Emily sitting on the living room floor surrounded by photographs and letters. Emily reached to her side grabbing a large shoebox and dumping more onto the floor.
Emily?' Harley had called to her placing her hand on her mother's trembling shoulder.
Emily turned looking up at her with tear filled eyes. I forgot what he looked like.' She said wrapping her arms around Harley crying into her shoulder. I forgot what he looked like!' She repeated.
Harley suddenly understood as her eyes feel on the pictures of her father. There were so many, some younger pictures of him she had never seen. Him and Emily together, him dancing, and some with him laughing (he always had such a wonderful smile). She reached down and picked up a photo of her father; in the photo he was hugging Emily who was holding a baby in her arms. That was the first family picture she had ever seen. The rest of the pictures she could easily remember, they were taken when she and her father were together, he must have sent them to Emily.
How could I? How could I forget about him?' Emily asked releasing Harley and looking down at the pictures.
Harley felt the tears coming to her eyes as she picked up the small snapshot of the three of them together perhaps for the first time. I miss him so much. I wish he were here so he could fix everything.' She suddenly cried out surprising Emily.
Emily hugged Harley bringing her into her arms rubbing her hand over her bi-colored hair. I know baby, I miss him too.'
**End of so-called small flashback**
So is this the end of the criminal jester? Chris asked running his fingers over the two sets of black and red cornrow running back in Harleys hair.
Harley laughed. Think of it as more of a recovery for the criminal biker jester. She yawned. Slag it, those dreg orderlies did manage to get that sedative in!
Chris smiled as he rubbed her back. How about I sing you a song?
Bye bye eardrums. Harley said snuggling into his arms.
For that I'm going to sing anyway. He said clearing his throat. What would you like to hear? Chris looked down on the peaceful face of his girlfriend and lover who had just knocked out.
She looks like an angel.' He smiled, almost laughing at the thought. A smile grin had at some time or another spread across her face. And you're going to show this town how much of a angel you really are.'
That all happened over a year and a half ago. Harley stood beside her mother looking over the high school diploma mounted proudly on the wall next to Harley's favorite family photo with her as an infant. I thought I'd never get out of there. Harley moaned looking away from the paper.
Emily smiled reaching down to pet the back of the hyena her daughter had persuaded her to allow to stay in the penthouse. Well if you would have just told them how smart you were ahead of time you wouldn't have gone through all of that. She stated. It was during the beginning of Harley's junior year that everyone discovered how intelligent the red and black haired young woman truly was, causing an skip in her grade and allowing her to graduate a year ahead of time with the rest of her friends.
Harley walked into the kitchen with Erik following behind her in hopes of a snack. And what would be the fun in that momma? She asked before downing a bottle of water she had taken from the fridge. I mean, it's fun passing notes in foreign languages to your friends, tormenting the jocks, and so on and so on.
Emily sighed, it always tugged at her heart whenever her daughter called her momma, She hasn't changed much over the year. But she sure has changed me, just like her father.' Baby, are you sure you're still going through with your plans? Emily asked with worry in her voice.
Harley walked into the living room with a glass of ice tea in her hands. She hugged her mother, Yes momma; Red's already found a place for us. He's set things up and everything.
Emily hugged her daughter trying her best to maintain the tears that had been building ever since the graduation ceremony. Well whatever it is that you do I'm proud of you baby, and when those so called friends of mine ask if we're related I'm going to tell them that you're my little baby, making this boring dismal city interesting. She said.
You know I love trouble. Harley released herself from her mother and handed her the drink. Ya know what? I have this odd urge to go shopping.
Emily asked elevating a skeptical brow.
Nightshade dressed in his new dark costume watched as Harley zipped up the red and black halves of her latest costume from her navel to her chest. He asked tearing his eyes away from her cleavage to the stylishly torn red and black thigh high stockings.
The two's newest home was an old abandoned two story firehouse that suited them perfectly with there needs of space and isolation from noisy neighbors. Harley spun on her heels as she placed the ruby red lenses of her shades over her eyes. Erik pranced happily around his mistress until she dropped a large rib bone before him. Harley aimed the barrel of her large popgun at Nightshade's chest. Yeah, shopping. Think of it as a welcome back Harley J present. She smiled pulling the trigger.
BANG! The mall's usual patrons ran madly out of the stores like roaches fleeing from light. Harley laughed hysterically as the cork of her popgun fired into the chest of the mall's security guard.
Aah! My chest! I can't breath! He shouted as he doubled over in pain.
Ooh I just love the sound of chaos in the night. Harley snickered blowing a bubble as she made her way to the jewelry case of the Reeds Jewelry outlet. Aw quit your whinin', it's just rubber. She stated picking up the rubber cork and stuffing it into her bag.
Well that hard rubber does hurt. Nightshade stated looking down at the discolored welt forming on the man's chest.
Harley merely grinned as she removed the gum from her mouth placing it over the top of the glass jewelry case. With a flip she ducked behind the counter with Nightshade and the wounded guard awaiting the results.
Ba-Boom! With a delighted squeal Harley jumped over the countertop to collect her plunder. Chewable sorgum in a new tasty fruity explosive favor! She said plucking a diamond tiara out of the now blasted case.
Hey you in there! A gruff female's voice shouted.
The criminal couple sighed deeply rolling their eyes. Nightshade moaned the names of the pesky hired guards.
How many do you think it is this time? Harley asked stuffing the wanted loot into the side pocket of her bag.
I'd say five. Nightshade said before peeking his head around the corner to see the line of white and black dressed guards standing steady as the frightened people scurried about in hopes of finding a way out before a Harley Jest induced hell broke loose. Oh I was wrong. Twelve.
Twelve? Ooh we must have come during a shift change. Shall we play my dear? Harley asked her black cherry lips curving into a sinister grin.
Twelve matching uniformed guards stood lined side by side outside the jewelry outlet. At my word fire a smoker in. The self-proclaimed leader whispered. One, two, three, now!
As the smoke bomb flew into the store Nightshade leapt out with a graceful tuck and roll. As for Harley she came out of the growing gray fumes in a beautiful series of graceful tumbles only a gymnastic professional could pull off so effortlessly. She's back with 120% more craziness. She bounces, she balances, she blows things up, and she makes Julianne fries!
Nightshade laughed as he dropped a deep green package onto the tile floors. That's julienne fries, Harl baby. He said as a spider shaped plants crawled out of the single packet.
She landed a few feet away from the line of guards. Well I can make somebody's fries. Harley said placing her hands on her hips in anger. She's-ba da da-da! HARLEY JEST! She cried holding out her arms.
Harley Jest, you are under arrest. One of the many uniformed guards announced.
Harley sighed reaching into her bag and removing a deep red powder compact. You guys have to come up with better pickup lines. She stated looking into the small mirror dabbing the powder over her nose and cheeks with a large powder puff.
The security finding themselves in a bit of a bind decided to split in groups to battle the two criminals. Seven to deal with Nightshade and his lively plants and five to contain Harley. The seven chosen to take on Nightshade quickly took to their guns and began firing at the spider plants.
Humans get a warning while with plants you are so quick to destroy? Nightshade asked in a disgusted tone. You are not worth my time! He pointed his green finger to the security directing his deathly plants to attack.
Harley smirked as she watched Nightshade from the corner of her eye. That was until her five security guards began to approach her.
Harley Jest you're going to pay for what you've done tonight. A female with a gruff voice stated.
Harley smirked. Aw, isn't there someway I can make up for it? Make up? Make up! Hey you need some make-up! She shouted grabbing a firm hold of the powder puff and pummeling into the woman's face then just as quickly doing the same to the next nearest guard.
After a few brisk coughs the two guards' eyes became leaden just moments before they toppled forward asleep.
Hee hee, sleeping powder. Harley laughed dropping the large powder puff back into the sleeping powder. Works only if you don't have a high immunity.
Zing! Poff! A bullet flew by Harley knocking the compact from her hands. Hey do I go around breaking your toys? She asked as she dodged behind the large water fountain in the center of the floor. Behind the marble fountain she found a huddled group of frightened teenagers. Hey this is a one woman hiding spot; it ain't big enough for all of us. She said pushing them out one by one. Now get out of here before you mess up my fun!
When the people were gone Harley began to scale the large fountain until she was high enough to spring onto the landing of the next level. You guys wanna play? She asked reaching into her bag and removing a slingshot and a pair of chattering teeth. With a smirk she strung the teeth onto the elastic band. Curling her pink tongue over her top lip she aimed. A man walks up to me and tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. She chuckled releasing the sling.
The chattering teeth flew downward biting down on the backside of one of the guards. Harley cackled as she strung up another set of teeth after another and began firing them down on her victims below.
Pow, POW, bang! The inhuman cries of Nightshade's plants rang throughout the mall.
Nightshade cried out as one of the spider plants collapsed when it's pouch exploded from a gunshot. Zing! A bullet zipped by him nearly missing his shoulder. Without a second thought Nightshade ducked for cover.
Almost got him. He said holding up his gun. A whirling horseshoe smashed into his hand knocking the gun from his grip.
Almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades, dont cha know. Harley said holding up her hand in time to catch the boomerang horseshoe.
Jest! Get her! The remaining guards yelled unwittingly taking their eyes off the green skinned criminal before them. They barely had time to raise their weapons when a green blur flew by them scratching them on their outstretched limbs as it went by.
Nightshade stood with his back facing his earlier foes. He turned his head slightly to the side and snapped his green fingers. With a collective groan the men fell onto the cold floor unconscious.
Harley leaned against the rail with one arm prompting her head and the other spinning her trademark popgun on her index finger. She looked onto her redheaded lover with devotion and sighed deeply. Show off. She remarked in a dreamy tone.
Nightshade chuckled pushing the braids of long garnet red hair behind him. Hurry up and finish your shopping, Harl. I have some sprouts at home that need constant attention.
Harley turned her back on Nightshade. Whatever Red. She said walking towards the nearest store that struck her fancy.
Nightshade chuckled to himself shaking his head from side to side. A large shadow flew over Nightshade basting him in the momentary darkness. What the he-ugh! He muttered as a pair of bolas wrapped around his shoulders and feet binding him down. He had very little time to figure out what had just happened when the dark knight came down upon him pitching him backwards.
Nightshade tumbled onto his back. Harley! We have company! He shouted struggling against his bounds.
The bi-colored jester looked over the side to see Batman standing over the captured Nightshade. Hi ya Batsy! Harley called down to Batman waving excitedly.
Batman frowned and asked, What do you think you are doing?
Celebrating! I've even got some new toys to play with! She declared holding up her favorite grab bag. Wanna help me try them out?
Harley we had a deal. Batman stated anger deep within his voice.
Harley smiled broadly holding up her hand. Yeah Mandy scouts honor that if you caught me I'd go peacefully to jail. Harley reached into her bag removing a tube of lipstick. But you havent caught me Batsy. She cheered as the red colored lipstick fired from its container down towards Batman.
Batman dodged the cosmetic projectiles with a graceful flip. Trying to put a new meaning to blow me a kiss? He asked jumping behind a marble pilaster.
She cried lowering her weapon. Batman, there are two important aspects when telling a joke.
Batman smirked as he dodged from one post to another until he was completely underneath Harley.
And what would that be? He asked carefully scaling the nearest column.
Harley slowly approached the level's edge until she leaned over the railing. Delivery and-ugh! She cried out as a pair of black boots connected with her chin knocking her backwards.
And timing. Batman finished for her standing up tall on the floor.
Harley rolled onto her feet with one hand digging through her bag. But most important, She stated removing her spring boxing glove gun from the bag. People have to get the punch line. She laughed as the large red glove rocketed towards Batman.
Batman had very little time to react as the large glove crashed into his chest knocking the wind out of him as it pitched him backwards.
When Batman regained his poise and got onto his feet he saw neither hide nor bi-colored hair of Harley.
Up here! Harley shouted as she hoisted herself onto the top level of the mall. C'mon up, five finger discount at Spencers!
Batman extended his arms outwards spreading out the red cape tucked away beneath his arms. The soles of his black boots flared as the built in rocket-boosters charged and sent him flying upwards to where Harley last stood.
At the top floor Harley waited swinging a rubber chicken around in circles by it's thin neck. Hiya Batsy, can you believe I just found this? I mean you have to special order to get these nowadays. She said switching the chicken from one hand to the other then back again.
Batman watched the spinning blur of a chicken in Harley's hand anticipating for her to use it as an improvised nunchaku. He had forgotten that the person he was facing never did the expected.
With a small grunt Harley spun on her heel kicking out her leg and catching Batman in the chin. Going with the flow of her motions she swung the rubber chicken hitting him in the side of his head.
Batman recovered quickly by blocking Harley's next attempt of assault. He pulled the rubber chicken out her hand ripping the head from the large yellow and red body. Harley looked down on her half of the novelty toy. Now I know why they stopped selling these. She shrugged tossing the toy behind her back.
Batman braced himself for her next attack. The only thing he hated about his job was that at times he had to fight against women, worst yet women who could most likely beat a 250-pound man with ease.
Harley went for another attack this time relying on her fist. To her dismay Batman grabbed hold of her wrist flipping her onto her back. She stated placing her hands to the small of her back as she slowly stood onto her feet. She looked up in time to see Batman take her red and black bag and pitch it into the air.
The grab bag flew over the balcony to the main floor below. Harley cried running to the balcony's rail holding out her hands as if she could truly save her already doomed toys.
Why throwaway everything now? Batman asked looking at her hunched over back.
She slowly turned to face him. What, you mean my clean record? My new life and all of that cheap Hallmark sentimental crap? Harley asked with a scoff. Batsy this is my life, you see there's one thing you need to realize. I love living in chaos and I love the unpredictable. She said climbing onto the golden colored rail of the level balcony balancing perfectly. In a slow graceful motion she spread out her arms and leaned her head backwards.
But most of all Batsy, I LOVE trouble. She said falling backwards. Bye bye Batsy! Harley cried as she fell hoping to execute a back flip and somehow manage a landing on the bottom floor.
But her planning was brought to an abrupt end when suddenly she came to a jerking stop. She looked up towards her feet to see Batman holding tight to her ankle. Aw slagit! She cursed to herself. You caught me.
Terry, report. Bruce commanded over the com-link.
Just handed Harley Jest and her lover Nightshade over to the police. Terry said dropping the deep guise in his voice.
So she went back to her old habits. I'm not surprised Quinn use to do the same thing all of the time. Bruce said matter-of-factly.
Terry rolled his eyes. I thought Harley really wanted to go clean, now that she had a choice. He sighed.
Harley Jest will always be like that; it's what she was taught by Quinn. It's what she's known most of her life. Bruce said.
Are these words of consolation? Terry asked returning his voice back to the tone he had developed for the voice of Batman.
A tapping sound on the Batmobile window torn him away from the conversation with Bruce. He looked out the red tinted window and gasped. Outside speeding along side of him on a hover cycle was Nightshade, holding on for dear life on Harley's waist.
Batman shouted opening the sliding roof of the cockpit.
Harley smiled pursing her lips to blow Batman a kiss. Bye bye Batsy! It's been fun, real ecstatic. She said in a flat tone.
Nightshade smirked shrugging his shoulders silently stating he gave up understanding Harley long ago.
Harley sang revving the engine of the great hoverbike, then like a rocket they flew vertically up into the sky and away into the night. Harley's insane cackle echoing over the blare of car horns and people.
Harley I never thought you were the type to go back on your promise to Batman. Nightshade shouted over the roar of the wind and hover motorcycle.
She smiled as his grasp on her waist tightened. I promised the Bat I would go to jail, I went and it was a pleasant visit, but I didn't say anything about not breaking free.
He hugged her tighter. I love the way you think baby. He said bringing his lips to her neck.
She asked leaning her head to the side.
Nightshade softly rubbed his nose from the curve of her neck to her earlobe. You're so cunning and smart yet you rarely show it. He said.
Harley tossed her head back and laughed almost hitting Nightshade on his green nose. I wouldn't have me any other way, baby! With that she released the handles of the hoverbike and let it speed through the sky chaotically.
So sorry it took me so long to update. Um...blame
ShadowHawk! It's his fault! Keep a look out for more HJ and
NS stories. They're too good of characters to give up. Oh
and thanks much with lots of love to ShadowHawk for the new toys/weapons
ideas. Kisses If you wanna read more check out Batman
Beyond: Two-Face II, and some of my originals. C yas! Much love
Demoness Space Pirate!
C'mon you think I was going to leave yas like that? HA, you should know me better by now! Here's a little somethin' that might get you interested in....
Christopher Isely walked down the dirt sidewalk with a bag of honeywheat begals in one hand and the other holding the bright blue leash of the hyena. Together they walked the cold gray morning of Gotham city.
'Why can't Harl ever get up and walk her own pets?' He questioned himself. 'And why can't I just say no to her?' He laughed to himself shaking his head slightly. As he walked by a small Newspaper stand his deep green eyes caught sight of the front page bringing an instant halt to all his actions. The hyena on the other end of the leash tugged against his walker urging him to keep moving but Christopher merely stood still. He walked over to the paper his eyes locked on the hidiously scarred face staring back at him.
The stand owner watched with a quickened heart as he watched the green skinned criminal look intensly onto the colored photo of Gotham's latest villain. He jumped as the deadly Nightshade looked onto him. "I'll take this." He said dropping the charge on the counter and walking away.
Harley Jest sat laid across the comfortable couch watching a violent struggle between the wonderful wrestlers Tyger and his worst enemy once friend Leo. Her insterest peaked at seeing Tyger set up Leo for the piledriver when a newspaper was driving before her vision.
Hon, look at this One Christopher said.
She cried as the gray sheet of paper obstructed her view of pro-wrestling. Ya know I watch this to get new combat moves. Harley said looking into her lover's lovely green eyes.
He shoved the paper into her hands with the front page facing her. You know it's fake, c'mon read.
Harley felt her spin tingle with true intrigue as her eyes fell upon the maroon scarred face that scared hidiously back at her while the other half, obviously handsom, smirked with arrogance. Her heart quickened until she could feel it beat roughly against her breast. She knew she had to meet this man for herself. She had to see him, hear his voice, know of his knowledge and reasoning, she had to feel him for herself, and if possible get a taste of him, his small contribution of insanity and chaos. But she couldn't let her loving Christopher know of her edgerness, she had to play her part...if even just for fun.
Two-Face successor steals twin statues. She read the headline with false zeal. He stopped with the priceless coin collecting, so big whoop. Harley said going back to her show of pointless violence mentally smirking to herself. She had to play her part afterall.
Wanna find out what happens? Check out me loverboy's Batman Beyond: Two-Face II and find out. Smooches!