What was I to do? For so long now I have been denying it, and these demons have haunted me since that exact day. Would they miraculously vanish if I just admitted it to her, to the world? Or if I did as they wished, would they eventually leave me alone? Then there is always a third possibility. I do as they say, or I could admit my true emotions, and then they would still remain. All I wanted was to finally be at peace with myself, yet this could not be so for I am somewhat overtaken by this all.
When I awoke from that eye-opening, albeit horrendous, nightmare, I wondered what to make of it. Was I literally being possessed, or was it my subconscious trying to tell me something? I did not know and I practically prayed for it to be the latter. Within the utter darkness of my apartment, I stared up at the ceiling.
"You can have her, you know." Asmodeus taunts within my mind.
"And no one has to find out." Abraxas adds, his voice deep and alluring.
The demons, despite the fact that I was awake, were still messing with me. How were they doing this? I rub my hands against my face, not all too sure of what to make of this. Was I going insane?
"Ziva?" A voice speaks, derailing my train of thought.
It was familiar, soothing, that voice. Also, it was nearby. I turn my head to look at the doorway and I see her standing there, but it is only her shadow-like form , light surrounding her silhouette. I saw her lean up against the doorway slightly.
"Yes?" I finally speak, after several moments of nothing but silence between us.
"Are you alright?" She asked me back, concern lacing her tone. "I heard you groaning in your sleep."
"Yeah. I am fine." I lie.
I honestly did not know if that was really true anymore. Her name was Monique Lisson, and for the longest time, ever since I first met her, I felt a somewhat, shall I say, forbidden attraction to her. This was not supposed to be happening but it was, and there was not a thing I could to keep temptation at bay.
"Oh? I thought that you were having a nightmare." Monique replied, her brows furrowing.
She had an accent. If you ask me, that made her even more attractive and harder to resist.
"No. No, I was not." I assure falsely.
I sit up in my bed, the mattress creaking slightly. Monique still stood there, not moving from the spot in which she stood. Her form was so magnificent and so was she. My hair fell in wild curls around my face, left to run rampant after my hectic nightmare which wreaked havoc over my sleep. Running a hand through my hair, I looked at her longer, a comfortable silence passing between us. After what felt like an eternity, Monique took a few steps into the room. I watched her as she walked towards a standing lamp, and turned it on. The room was then illuminated by a gentle glow, not too harsh of a light. She looked over to me and smiled slightly, approaching me.
"Are you sure you are okay?" She asked me, crouching down in front of me.
I nod, my breath hitching within my throat as I feel her hands on my knees. My heart pounded inside my chest, as if it was begging to break out of its confinement that composed of my ribcage.
"Yes, I am sure." I choke out, nervousness coating my tone.
"Hmm…. It does not seem as though you're being very honest." Monique teased. "You are a terrible liar."
Inhaling sharply, my heart continued to pound, yet even more rapidly than before. It was as if it was going to explode.
"I am not lying." I insist, lying through my teeth as I speak.
"Sure you're not." She retorted slyly, getting even closer to me.
What was she doing? What was happening? A part of me wanted to know and then again a part of me did not. As she inched oh so closer to me, half of me wanted to react and the other half begged me to retreat. I was so beyond conflicted and I wanted it to all stop.
"So, care to tell me what's on your mind?"