This is loosely based off of the movie Patrik Age 1.5, a Swedish film that is just lovely. I obviously recommend the film but if you wish to read this fic and not get any spoilers don't watch it. Of course this will be slightly AU and the Avengers will be OOC at times. Also, not sure what my spelling and grammar look like. I imagine it's not perfect as I have no beta so please be kind.

EDIT 1: So I had a friend point out that some might think this story is about just a homophobic Peter but it's actually about overcoming that homophobia and accepting himself as well as Tony and Steve. I don't want to offend anyone with Peter's OOC opinions at the beginning of this story. I apologize for any misunderstandings.

Pairings include: Peter and Wade, Steve and Tony, Thor and Jane, and Natasha and Clint.

Rating: M for Tony and Wade's mouths, violence, and of course superhusbands woohooing.

Disclaimer: Of course I don't own anything. That would be silly if I did.

Description: Homophobia: Noun: An extreme and irrational aversion to homosexuality and homosexual people. Example: Peter Parker is homophobic and therefore finds it very difficult to live with Steve and Tony.


'Well, carpe diem I suppose.' Peter moved his knight, slaying the poor pawn that stood in his own piece's way. 'Or, what was it everyone is saying these days?' The sharp dressed man who was balding from what Peter assumed was either genetics or stress from his job, moved his queen to swipe the knight and place him to the side. 'Ah, yeah, YOLO.' The teenager snorted at his own mental use of the word. Maybe he'd be more popular if he spent some time learning the lingo of his generation but Peter knew he would rather be learning what the abbreviation of the periodic table of elements meant than something as trivial as YOLO. The man stared openly at him, seemingly trying to understand what the sudden noise was about. Parker came to the conclusion that the man had eyes of steel that could freeze even Medusa in place. Without looking at the black and white checkered board between them he moved his castle straight down. "Check." Peter glanced away from the all knowing eyes only to gape at the scheme he so obviously missed. How did the pearl white castle go undocumented?

"Agent Coulson, it's good to see you." Jumping at the intrusion, Peter glanced behind him.

Fury.

Peter had met him earlier that day. 'I wonder if these two guys ever had a stare down which one would win.'

"I hope that Coulson here has entertained you well enough." Fury approached the couch which the agent was sitting at and took the empty spot next to him.

"Yeah, he's been great company." 'Compared to a stink beetle.' The director nodded, choosing to ignore the blunt lie.

"Good. Coulson, do you mind?" Slowly, with a hand braced on his lower chest, the smaller man stood.

"Goodbye Mr. Parker." Peter didn't bother to correct him that he wasn't a mister feeling that fifteen was to young to be addressed as such. They shook hands briefly, or more appropriately termed, Coulson squeezed the life out of Peter's hand who in turn tried to shake it loose.

"Bye agent Coulson. It was nice meeting you." The agent smiled tightly and pushed himself out of the small rec room, closing the door quietly behind him. The teen briefly wondered where all of these men and women learned to be so silent all the time.

Peter focused back on the director sitting across from him, arms folded in his lap and leaning forward as if the two of them were the best of friends and were about to divulge secrets to the other. "We've found a place for you to stay at temporarily until Agent Barton and Agent Romanova get back from Russia."

'Great, I'm going to get stuck with some coffee fetcher in a one bedroom apartment, that's why he's looking at me like that.'

"Where?"

"Stark Tower."

Peter inhaled sharply and blinked absentmindedly. Did he just hear right? Stark Tower? Like Tony Stark the infamous genius who built himself a suit that shot missiles out its shoulders and picked up cars like they were pillows?

"Really?" The teenager sounded breathless and giddy which made Fury irritated. Why everyone liked the annoying spoiled brat that was Tony Stark he would never know.

"Yes. Stark, Rogers, and Thor approved of you staying over for the week that their teammates are to be gone. They thought it would be for the best seeing how you'll be joining The Avengers now. Banner and Loki disagree with the others but they aren't likely to throw to big of a fit. Dr. Banner might run away and Loki might be snappy but don't let it get to you."

Peter was tickled pink. The Avengers were inviting him to the most technologically advanced building in the world to bond. Fury felt his irritation grow and evolve until little brat with the shit eating grin in front of him was the cause of most of it instead of Stark.

"Before I have someone drop you off I need to lay down some ground rules. First, no matter how much Stark pleads or tries to guilt trip you don't test out his latest products. His subconscious is always trying to get shit to blow up."


Forty five minutes. Forty five minutes is how long it took the one eyed captain of the floating ship to tell him rules to living in the single most greatest house in the world. Most of them were stupid and required only the basic understanding of proper etiquette to obey while others were confusing and seemed less like rules and more like crazy demands. He had them planted securely into his brain though. No way was he going to mess up such a fantastic opportunity.

"Ready to go, Mr. Parker?" Peter didn't even need to fake a smile for the creepy agent known as Coulson as his face was still aching from the moment 'Stark Tower' left Fury's scowling lips. Peter nodded. "Good, come with me then. Don't worry about your clothes. They are already packed inside the vehicle we're taking." His legs started trailing behind Coulson without a moment's hesitation.

'I wonder what the house is going to have in it. I bet there will be androids taking my bags and stuff from me. They'll lead me to my room that will have a view over the whole city. Tony will come in with two glasses of his finest bourbon, offer me one, and we'll discuss the finer points of Tesla. He'll be all 'You're so smart Peter! Come, work for me! I'll teach you everything I know.' And I'll agree to it and then we'll toast.' Peter, mind elsewhere, kept walking briskly but his guide had stopped. Parker ran into Coulson who hissed in return. The road block, it turned out, was not the agent but two giant chunks of mass.

"Hello son of Coul!"

"Thor."

Thor was huge. Not just like, wow he's kind of tall and muscular huge, but like Olympic weight lifting athlete huge. His blonde hair was pulled back into a ponytail and his plaid shirt looked as if it had been worn many times since its last wash. Loki looked microscopic compared to him and even he wasn't really all that small.

"How are you feeling today?"

The agent's hands absentmindedly reached to his own chest and his eyes glanced behind the thunderer to stare openly at the newly reformed Loki trailing behind his brother. "I'm feeling much better than yesterday. And how are you?"

"I am great, son of Coul! Is this to be our new warrior?"

Thor clasped Peter heavily on the shoulder and smiled brilliantly. Up this close Parker could confirm that Thor hadn't washed his shirt in awhile for it smelled like the boys' locker room after a football game. The only reason Peter knew what that smelled like is because a few of the more athletic kids thought it would be funny to handcuff him to the benches. He wasn't sure how long he stayed in there before slipping out of them with bruised wrists but he knew the worst of the whole ordeal was definitely the smell and that distinct scent was what Thor was wearing.

"I am Thor and this is my brother Loki." Said brother offered a slight twitch of the lips and a curt nod. "We are most happy that you will be joining our team." Loki didn't appear to be all that happy but Peter couldn't find a single care to give. "Thanks, I'm excited about getting the opportunity. I'm Peter, uhm, Parker." The Asgardian nodded enthusiastically but didn't attempt to give any feedback.

An awkward silence flooded the room, drowning three of the members. Thor seemed to be completely oblivious to what has happening around him, a wide smile still on his countenance and a thick hand still upon Peter's shoulder. The Asgardian's eyes were glued to Peter's own for an uncomfortable amount of time. Finally the teenager relented trying to look back in the blue ocean and glanced at the other two.

Coulson was glaring openly at Loki, who in turn pretended not to notice, picking his nails clean instead. The agent's left hand was hovering near his chest while his right seemed to be straying to his hip. It took Peter all but a second to come to the conclusion that Coulson didn't really care for Thor's younger brother. Loki seemed to read Peter's mind and responded by snapping his head up, eyes stopping on Phil's with such intensity it almost hurt to watch. "Shall we go to Anthony's tower now that we have retrieved the boy?"

Loki's words came as a surprise and seemed to pull everyone out of their thoughts.

"Of course, brother! That is a wonderful idea. I would like to request driving the metal beast."

"You know how to drive a car?" Peter wouldn't admit it if someone accused him but his voice raised an octave. There was no way Thor knew anything about vehicles.

"The man of iron has taught me to tame it."*

Coulson looked away from Loki and relaxed himself. "That sounds fine so long as I get to ride up front."


Sitting with the god of evil and mischief in the back of a small, government issued vehicle was not something Peter thought he would ever do nor something he ever wished to do. The teenager fancied that he could taste the malice and ill intent spilling off of Loki. Suddenly everything outside was interesting as Peter tried to look at anything but the man sitting so very close. Taxi cabs crawled by as traffic was moving at a miserable pace. Surprisingly Thor was doing a decent job at driving and was being fairly patient despite the slow rate everything was moving. Peter felt bad for doubting the god when he realized how much work it took for him to be as accommodating as he was.

"So, Parker, I hear that your parents are dead as well as your old guardians." Peter twisted his head hastily and a soft pop was heard.

"Loki." Coulson didn't bother to turn around in his seat just as he didn't bother to look at the chess board earlier. He knew what he was doing without needing visual confirmation.

"I'm just stating the facts, Phil. Trying to make conversation. Are you feeling envious? Perhaps you'd like it if I showered you with my attention?" The agent turned silent as did the god of mischief but neither helped with Peter's thumping heart. The death of his aunt wasn't long ago and the memory of her still caused a deep ache inside of him. He wished that Thor would speed the cramped, dark car up, not caring if he ran any pedestrians over or hit any other vehicles.

"I think that you are to bring terrible luck among us."

"Brother! Enough!"

Peter dared to look into Loki's emerald eyes filled with such hatred. His heart ached and silently he agreed with the mischievous god. He had only caused death so far for his loved ones. How were the Avengers going to be any different?

When they had finally snaked through the thick traffic and pulled into the private underground garage of Tony Stark's tower Peter's mood was starting to recover from Loki's comments. The place was well lit and some of the most expensive and classic cars in candy colors were parked in perfect rows. Next to an extravagant Packard Carribbean that was painted mermaid teal stood an average looking man in glasses. Peter stared quite openly at him before realizing he was staring back. He swiftly looked in the opposite direction which, unfortunately, contained Loki. Before the dark haired verbal brute could respond to the look with venom Thor slammed on the brakes abruptly and climbed out of the car just as suddenly.

Coulson sighed and leaned over his seat to turn off the vehicle before stepping out. Loki and Peter followed seconds after. Exiting, they found the lumbering blonde talking to the man Peter had a staring contest with moments before. Peter went to the back of the car, popping open the trunk and took out his light luggage, (he didn't own a whole lot and what he did own Shield currently had but that didn't mean he would simply forget it in excitement.) stalling so his heart could stop pumping blood at an alarming rate.

"Peter, come, meet the doctor!" Thor waved enthusiastically.

Peter advanced passed rows and rows of cars, his reflection rainbowing and distorting in their hoods. He attempted to come up with who the awkward grown adult that the Asgardian was attempting to introduce him to was. He didn't need to take random shots in the dark due to the fact Thor was more than happy to introduce them. "Peter, this is the Doctor Banner. Doctor Banner this is the new warrior in our team, Peter Parker."

"The Hulk!" He wished he could pull the word from his mouth and eat it for Banner seemed distressed despite his attempt at smiling. "Actually, I'm not all that green at the moment."

Peter looked sheepish and quickly apologized as sincerely as he could. He looked down in shame only to discover a non-descriptive orange backpack. He noted it and diverted his gaze back to the man he just unintentionally insulted.

"No, it's fine. I'm use to worse. I hope you enjoy being a part of the team. Don't let Tony or Loki get to you to much." The doctor patted Peter's shoulder in a way that made it obvious he didn't make physical contact to often.

"Friend, why do you have a bag? Are you going on a picnic?" Thor took a step into Bruce's comfort zone and leaned in fairly close. In the corner of Peter's vision he could see Loki roll his eyes.

"You do not go on picnics with backpacks, Thor."

A look of confusion passed over the blonde. "Then what would you take?"

"A basket, of course. What else would one take?" Thor seemed to contemplate the new facts he was given.

"How do you know this, brother?"

Coulson seemed irritated but it was hard to tell with his perfected poker face. He brushed off the diverted conversation and smoothed the front of his suit. "Where are you going?"

Bruce looked like a child caught getting into sweets before dinner. He fluttered his eyes and shuffled his feet. "I'm, uh, leaving for a week or so. I haven't seen a whole lot of the country since I got back and Tony gave me some money to wonder around for awhile so… I'll make sure to keep in contact with shield and I have my tracking device in my bag. I won't get rid of it. "

Peter felt his heart drop. Not only did he insult the bumbling man just moments ago but said man was leaving because of him. Sure, he wasn't saying it out right but Fury had said that Dr. Banner wanted nothing to do with him and voted him to stay at Shield's headquarters until Natasha and Clint came back.

"Would you like a ride somewhere, Dr. Banner?"

"That would be nice, thank you Phil. Goodbye Thor, Loki. It was nice meeting you, Peter."

Peter swallowed thickly, his tongue now feeling like cotton. "Yeah, you too. Have fun traveling around."

Bruce acknowledged him with a tender look and threw the bright bag over his shoulder.


Loki was quick to disappear after Banner and Coulson left. He had stated that Thor could have the honor of being the host and showing Peter around before dramatically storming off. The thunderer was ecstatic despite his brother's rude behavior and swiftly shooed Peter up a large glass staircase that seemed to go on for an eternity. The pearl white walls were lined with modern artwork done by artists Peter didn't have the time to place as Thor was not so lightly pushing on his back.

"I shall show you the room you are to stay in and introduce you to Jarvis before we go to the others."

"Jarvis?" In passing Peter could have sworn he seen a Chagall but he must have been mistaken.

"The man who lives in the walls! I am sure you will like him young warrior."

They were reaching the top of the stairs and Peter was awestruck. They emerged in the common room. Polished wooden floors, immeasurable windows, lavish furniture, it all looked like something out of a magazine or even a movie. He didn't think he had ever been in such a luxurious place in his life. Peter briefly panicked. 'Should I be wearing shoes? Does everyone else get to wear shoes? Should I even be touching anything? What if I touch something I'm not suppose to?' A gentle hand squeezed his upper arm.

"All is well. Come, let us go to your quarters!"

Thor, ever the enthusiast, bounded off towards his left while Peter sluggishly followed after, still preoccupied with uncovering the rooms contents.

"Master Thor."

"Jarvis! Forgive me for not introducing you to Peter sooner. Peter, this" Thor gestured widely, "is Jarvis! Jarvis, this is Peter Parker." Peter almost panicked. He couldn't sense another person in the room with them and he couldn't see them. Peter was someone who relied on feelings and perception, neither which he got from this Jarvis.

"Hello Mr. Parker. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. If you shall need anything please don't hesitate to ask."

He couldn't see anyone but from what Thor had said earlier the voice belonged to something that wasn't visible, something that lived in the walls. He did another once over to double check.

"I'm afraid you won't find me anywhere, Mr. Parker. I'm an AI system created by Tony Stark for his convenience. I don't have any specific location although if you require physical evidence you can always look at the monitors that are provided in every room."

Thor took the hint and quite literally dragged Peter by a table that had an odd swirled vase atop it. On the wall beside said table was a screen about ten inches across that displayed the weather, time, news both local and worldwide, and sported the flashy Stark Industries logo at the bottom of the screen in bold white letters.

"From any of these you may access the internet and communicate with the others."

Unexpectedly a layout of the house overtook the contents of the screen. A room lit up red and a line drew itself out to the duos current location. Peter curiously pressed the area labeled kitchen only for ripples to echo off his print much like still pond water would do if a rock was to be thrown in it. The names 'Tony Stark' and 'Steve Rogers' appeared in the upper right hand corner.

"As you can see Master Thor was leading you the wrong way. Your room is located on the east side of the house not the north. If you require further instructions please don't hesitate to ask."

Thor took the hint and studied the insanely detailed blue prints for half a second before concluding that he knew everything there was to know about the location of Peter's room.

They both followed the directions as closely as possible, getting input from Jarvis when needed, and eventually reached a door that looked no different than any of the others they had journeyed by. It was a heavy and wooden, most likely birch, and was stained to be extremely pale. Peter pondered if the house was done in Tony's taste or his interior designers.

Thor pushed it open, rambling about the marvels that were available to them while living with Stark. "Jane does not have these magical devices although she wishes to. I have asked Anthony if I may take some to her but he got very upset with me. I have not brought it up again in hopes to make amends."

The room looked so bland Peter almost cried in a fit of rage and disappointment. It wasn't all that large and appeared to be decorated by the same person who decorated hotels. The carpets were a faded tan, walls a crisp blue, desk made of the same stuff the door was placed neatly at the far edge, and the average sized bed was adorned in white. Two obscure paintings and an odd constructed hunk of metal sitting on the desk were the only things that didn't appear orderly.

Peter was disheartened. It seemed everything was just crumbling apart in his hands. 'I shouldn't have set my hopes up so high.' He mused, dumping his bag atop the bed before glimpsing out the window. The only thing he could properly see was a skyscraper and lots of smog.

"Then I confessed to Steven that I did not truly know how to work the beast. Shall we go now?"

The teen was confused and shamed that he tuned out Thor's rant but as he opened his mouth to apologize as sincerely as he could muster Jarvis interrupted.

"I do believe Mr. Parker would like to take a rest before meeting Master Stark and Master Rogers. Perhaps a nap and shower will suit him."

It was Thor's turn to look shamed as he realized what a long day the teen had most likely had. "I shall show him where the bathroom is when he has rested." The god nodded at nothing and with a swift slap on the back with some encouraging words he left Peter to himself.

Suddenly the air in the room was much easier to breath and the heavy weight that was resting on his chest was gone but in its wake was a rock at the bottom of his stomach. Everything had been disastrous so far. From waking up before the sun on the tough bunk in Shield's headquarters with a terrible kink in his neck, to discovering that two of the three Avengers he had met went so far as running away from him. The day just couldn't possibly get any worse.

Peter tossed the bag onto the floor and curled up in its place. At least the mattress was inviting and perfectly cushioned. The lights dimmed to a satisfying level and the window's curtains closed. Jarvis announced that he would wake the teenager in twenty minutes and Peter, feeling sheltered and snug, dozed off shortly thereafter.

Smoke had overthrown the once clean air and Peter tried his damndest to scavenge a clean breath or two. His aunt May had already collided with the floor, her body no longer attempting to pull itself together. She didn't have long but what could Peter honestly do? With one hand he tried to block the otherworldly creature from getting any closer and with the other he smothered a dishrag above his nose and mouth.

He looked down at his beautiful aunt, the one woman in his life who was just as consistent as the sun in the sky and the grass on the ground, and then returned his choking vision to the enemy. Without so much as a warning, breathing become less impossible and the flames licking at his back were no longer stinging. Did they even sting in the first place? He couldn't remember. Abruptly the creature was no more, instead in his place stood the infamous Hulk. The green creature was dressed in Dr. Banner's clothes without a single rip in sight and ridiculously sized backpack was haphazardly lying next to him. "Hulk really no wanted boy who couldn't protect his family on team anyway."

The burning building was replaced with a field, open and teeming with all sorts of life. The Hulk and Peter's aunt sat a few yards away, talking with each other like good friends who once lost touch but were now reviving their relationship. May seemed to spot her nephew and beamed in his direction. "Peter, join us!" She waved like she was a young child and not the elder she clearly was. All the pain and aches from the fire had washed away at the sweet gesture and the rag that Peter was still holding to his face was dropped. He attempted to stride over to May and Hulk but a thick plate of glass blocked his movements. Peter was fenced in.

"Hurry up, Peter!"

He pounded mercilessly on the invisible barrier but not a single crack was forming. He started screaming but it he could hear nothing coming from his own self. Meanwhile his aunt and Bruce's alter ego looked on with mildly interested facial expressions.

Everything abruptly calmed down. Between the two free individuals formed a faun from the earth, his eyes glowed a sickening green and his golden flute shined in the radiating sun, and in a voice eerily familiar said "You best be hurrying yourself up, Parker. Uncle Ben will be picking you up soon enough."

Peter woke up sluggish with is heart still beating in a fairly normal pace. The dream was fairly familiar but instead of Harry this time it was the not so gentle green giant. The lights slowly started to return and the curtains opened at a bearable pace. Peter kicked the blankets he had managed to wrap around himself off and rid himself of his shirt. It was damp with sweat and had felt heavy on his body.

"I hope you enjoyed your nap, Mr. Parker. Would you care for that shower now?"

"Would I ever."


I just wanted to write a short prologue as to how Peter has come to be in the lives of Tony and Steve. The superhusbands will make an appearance in the next/first chapter.

So, a quick little poll for those of you who are planning on sticking with the story! Would you like to see Coulson with anyone and if so who? I've been struggling rather or not I should pair him up with someone and I get so far with planning out chapters when I run into this problem. Anyways! I ramble! I hope you enjoyed the prologue! I would love to see some reviews you magnificent people!