Title: Baby Bump
Pairing: Shizuo x Izaya,
Warnings: Male x Male Relationships, Smut, MPreg, Dark Overtones
Description: Izaya is slipped an experimental drug after angering his secretary. He ends up becoming pregnant after a randevu with Shizuo turned lustful, but the pregnancy is anything but smooth. The side effects of the experimental drug start to kick in and cause Izaya to develop post-partum depression; Leaving Shizuo alone to care for the informant as well as their tiny infant.
Over the next couple days, Izaya's vivid and horrific hallucinations began to plague him daily. It got to the point that the informant didn't even like being in the same room as Tsugaru. He had given Namie strict instructions to put Tsugaru down for a nap when she had to go on her break and when she was done for the day whether he was crying or not. It wasn't just Tsugaru that the dark haired male had been keeping a distance from though, it was everyone in general. His bedroom had turned into his safe haven. All his meetings were conducted from his bedroom via web camera. It was where he spent 80% of his day now, completely secluded from the outside world. The only person that he had some interaction with was Shizuo, but even that was less then normal.
Shizuo had noticed Izaya's distant behavior and had started to grow very concerned for the informant. Even if Izaya despised their son, he would never limit his play time with his precious humans. He knew that Izaya was sick. With what, he didn't have a clue but he knew that the informant was ill in some sort of way. Shizuo had reached his wits end. Even though Izaya had back tracked after their talk at the restaurant, the blonde couldn't bring himself do anything about it.
Thoughts ran through his mind as Shizuo lay wide awake on Izaya's bed, staring at the informant's back. He was trying to make a decision, but he wasn't sure what type of decision he should be making. All of this was new and foreign to the former bartender. His feelings for Izaya were growing more complicated everyday. He knew that he loved Tsugaru, without a doubt, but he didn't know what he felt towards the smaller male. When he was ready to pack up and leave, Izaya's face would cause all negative feelings to just disappear. Nimble fingertips brushed against the clothed back of the informant as Shizuo watched the slight raise and fall of Izaya's body. He glanced over at the clock and saw that it was 6:02.
He didn't want to go to work. All he wanted to do was lay in bed all day with Izaya, maybe that would make things better. The informant turned around and started to wake from his peaceful slumber. Red eyes slowly started to blink open to meet caramel ones. Shizuo pulled the smaller male into his arms as he looked down at him.
"How are you feeling?" He asked softly. Izaya didn't respond immediately but let himself relax into the blonde's warmth.
"I don't know what you're talking about Shizu-chan. I'm not sick." Izaya said as he felt himself start to go back to sleep. Shizuo didn't believe that Izaya wasn't sick in the least, but he couldn't do anything if the informant didn't think he was sick. He thought that maybe Izaya was just jealous of Tsugaru. Maybe if he did something nice for the informant, then he would get better. After all, everyone knew that he hated losing control and he lost control all through the pregnancy. The bodyguard never really expressed his thanks to the informant for giving him the best thing he ever got in life.
Shizuo kissed Izaya's head and untangled himself from the sleeping man.
Izaya was sitting at his desk in his bedroom with his head in his hands in frustration. The sounds of baby cries were flooding into his room which was the cause of his annoyance. Izaya sat up straight and slammed his hands on his desk.
"God Namie! Can't you shut it the fuck up!?" After no response was received and the crying continued, he walked towards his bedroom door and threw it open to see his secretary cradling and lightly bouncing his little boy in his kitchen. Tsugaru's face had turned red from all his crying, his little hands curled up into tiny fists and held up defensively.
"Why the hell is he crying?" Namie's head snapped up at the sudden presence of her employer. She settled into a hard glare as she continued to try and soothe the crying child.
"Dunno. Maybe he misses his mother." Izaya made a tch sound with his mouth as he casually walked into the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. "I need to go on break." Namie added on with a sigh.
"Get him to stop crying first then you can go." Izaya sipped the black coffee and swallowed the warm, black liquid. His finger twitched on the cup as the cries only intensified. He turned around to yell at Namie again but stopped when he saw her putting Tsugaru in the little infant swing that apparently somebody just recently bought because Izaya didn't remember buying it.
"What are you doing?" Namie placed the little infant in the swing and fastening the safety belt.
"Like I said; going on my break." Before Izaya could protest, the door of the apartment had closed behind the dark haired woman. He cursed under his breath and looked towards the crying bundle in the swing. A sharp inhale was taken before Izaya walked over to kneel in front of the swing.
"Tsugaru, your being loud. You need to be quiet." He tried to reason but it didn't do anything to quite the loud cries. His eyes tightened into a hard glare before they snapped wide open as he envisioned himself smothering his little child with a pillow to stop the cries. He quickly pulled himself away and grabbed his hair in frustration. Turning around, he walked back towards the kitchen table to get away from the upset little boy.
"Shut up, shut up!" He screamed while clenching his dark locks before throwing his hands down hard on the table. "Dammit!" His head hurt, not only from the loud cries but from the vivid hallucinations. He wanted them to stop but he didn't know how.
"Don't you know what you do to me…" He said softly to himself before turning around and looking at the blonde baby in the swing with crazed eyes. "Don't you know what you do to me?! I gave you life and all you gave me was pain and agony!" Tsugaru only cried, not understanding a word of what his mother was saying.
"I can take it away you know? Is that what you want Tsugaru!? You want me to kill you? Ah but I can't because you're the only thing that Shizu-chan cares about! He doesn't care about me even though I was one who gave birth to you. I didn't want you! You're a monster!" The baby's cries started to die down as the voice of his mother reached his ears. His blue eyes focused on the crazed informant, only adding fuel to the fire. Izaya's body started to shake as his blood colored eyes locked with the calming, blue ones.
"Stop it…" He said softly as his crimson eyes stared into cyan orbs. Tsugaru didn't do anything but innocently look back at his mother. "Stop it!" Izaya yelled louder as he turned around and grabbed his hair again.
"Dammit! You're not supposed to love me! You're supposed to hate me like I hate you!" Izaya closed his eyes tight as he tried to stabilize himself. He paused for a moment as the evil wheels in his head started to turn and a dark idea formed in his mind. He tried to rid the thoughts from his mind, but they weren't going to leave. Dashing to the bathroom, he turned the nobs in the tub until the water was gushing out in full blast. He watched as the clear liquid started to create a puddle in the white bathtub. Dipping his hand into the water, he smirked to himself when he felt the water was really hot.
He made his way out of the bathroom and over to the baby swing where Tsugaru was still sitting, contently. Izaya stopped the swing and unfastened his little baby. Picking him up, the informant started heading towards the bathroom. The little infant was laid on the bath mat as Izaya once again checked the water. The water was so hot, even to him and he was used to hot showers. Deciding that the water was a good temperature, he looked down at little Tsugaru who was all bundled up due to the coldness of the season. He started to undress the little baby but stopped in mid motion when he saw his little son smile up at him. His eyes widened as he realized just what he was about to do. He was going to drown his little baby and permanently rid world of that innocent smile.
He just couldn't do it.
Tears formed in his eyes as he looked at Tsugaru.
"You're supposed to hate me…" Tear drops rolled down his cheeks as he continued to stare at his little boy. He knew he had to get out of there before he did something stupid. When he walked into the kitchen, red orbs caught a glimpse of the knife block that was on his kitchen counter. He hesitated for a second before reaching forward and grabbing one of the many knives. Going back into the bathroom, he pointed the knife towards his son.
"Is this what you want Tsugaru?" He slowly made his way towards his son and put the blade of the knife against his sensitive skin of his wrist. Tsugaru squirmed and started to whine as his mother approached him. "You want me to kill myself don't you? Will that make you happy then? Will it Tsugaru?" He said softly so that it was barely above a whisper. He made a sharp slice against his wrist, a cut appearing immediately. Red blood began to ooze out as Izaya held his arm out towards the little baby.
"Look Tsugaru, are you happy now? It's so beautiful..isn't it?" He began to chuckle lowly in his maniacal state of mind as his blood began to drip on the small bundle laying on the floor. Tears were running down faster as he saw his own blood stain his child's porcelain skin. "Does this make you happy Tsugaru? I could never hurt you…so I had to hurt myself. I had to save you from myself." Izaya said softly. He sat with his back against the white tub and looked down at his little son. It was a true clash of innocence and evil. His red blood started to stain the white tile and he soon felt his arm start to become numb. "You don't deserve me Tsugaru…and I don't deserve you." Consciousness slowly started to slip away from him as he looked at the blood dripping down Tsugaru's head. The last conscious thought that he had was red roses falling on the tile and caramel eyes looking down on him.
Sorry about the delay, I basically didn't have internet access for like...4 days. This chapter was a challenge for unknown reasons because this was the most vivid chapter in my mind. I hope its good ;o;
In other news, I got my hair cut again and it's like Izaya's once again XD
In other other news, I have a lot of medical complications going on lately. As some of you (might) know, I have epilepsy...and my body is like...starting to get immune to the medicine which isn't a good thing at all because seizure medication is no joke. I have to take it on a timed schedule or I can have a seizure...so yeah. And any medication that deals with your brain can like...majorly effect a persons mood, thinking process ect. It's just not a good situation at all. I am going to my neurologist december 16th to see what to do about my medicine :/
No review limit this chapter, just review my lovelies~ Just be aware that reviews make me update faster ^^