ONESHOT! And a decent one at that. This is my first attempt at writing romance...or...err fluff.
I've always liked the fics where Ichigo gets sick and poor Rukia has to deal with him. Enjoy you heartless flamers.
Ichigo's Sick Day
It had started out like any other day. At exactly 7 am, a horribly annoying scream echoed throughout the small room. The owner of that voice leapt into the air, one purpose emblazoned in his flamboyant mind.
"GOOOOOOD MORNINGGGGGG EEEEEE-CHEEEEEE-GOOOOOOOOOO!"
This odd morning greeting was supposed to be met with an angry retaliation, the shouts of curses and a swift right hook.
Unfortunately, it was not to be.
Isshin Kurosaki's foot smashed down on a still sleeping Ichigo, his stomach taking the full force of the attack. Needless to say, the boy was up in a flash, hopping mad and wheezing, clutching his stomach with one hand while punching his father in the face with the other.
"You freak! What kind of father attacks his own children?!" he coughed, red in the face and ready to kill.
"Now now my idiot son, how will you be prepared for the real world when you can't even defend yourself?!"
Ichigo snarled and tried to land another right hook on his father's yapping jaw, but his hand was easily deflected as Isshin put his son into an unbreakable choke hold.
"What was that my son? Your punches seem extra weak today!"
Even if lacking in strength, apparently a weak elbow in Isshin's gut proved to be all it took for him to collapse to the floor. After putting on his school uniform, Ichigo then dragged his father out of the room. He tenderly rubbed his sore neck while storming downstairs for breakfast, Isshin still in tow and hitting every stair with a loud thump.
Karin was nibbling on her toast, watching Isshin scramble out of Ichigo's grip and spring off towards the clinic part of their house.
"Morning," he croaked in a feeble response. His voice was raspy. Yuzu poked her head out of the kitchen.
"You sound sick; would you like something hot to drink? It'll help your voice," she chirped. Ichigo smiled at her.
"Suppose it wouldn't hurt," he admitted and sat down at their table just as Rukia came down stairs.
"If you didn't yell at your father all the time, you wouldn't sound like a walrus right now," said Rukia, smiling.
"Shut up," Ichigo grumbled, shoving toast into his mouth. Rukia raised an eyebrow at his lack of table manners, but refrained from saying anything.
"So, did you finish your homework assignment last night?" he asked her, a knowing look on his face.
"Wha?" Rukia stared at him blankly; try to remember what she'd been doing the evening before. Ah yes. She'd been drawing chappy, ignoring Ichigo's boring lecture on this weird thing called algebra and the importance of writing silly little letters in the middle of equations. "Oh…yeah—sure."
"Yeah…sure you did," he grimaced, reminding himself never to try to make Rukia do homework. She copied off of his homework anyway, no matter what he said or how angry he got. "Stupid…"
"What was that, idiot?"
They continued breakfast in silence. Yuzu brought Ichigo some hot chocolate which he accepted gratefully.
To be completely honest with himself, Ichigo wasn't feeling all that well. He could tell that the glands in his throat start to swell while his brain was slowly turning to mush, though he probably wouldn't become officially sick until the afternoon. Besides, if he could take on multiple wounds while battling hollows, he wouldn't make a fuss about coming down with a cold.
Ichigo was about to wash down his toast with his coco when his father charged merrily back into the dining room.
"Ichigo! You're forbidden from going to school!"
"What? Why?" Ichigo narrowly dodged the "friendly" punch aim at his nose and tried to kick back at his father, only to have his ankle be grabbed. Isshin then gave a great yank, sending his son tumbling hard onto the floor.
"ARGH! What the he—" A thermometer was shoved roughly in Ichigo's mouth, causing him to choke and splutter. Isshin had him pinned to the floor in a rather uncomfortable position, somehow tangling his feet with his arms. Yuzu looked on, slightly concerned for her brother while her twin ignored the scene entirely and continued to eat her breakfast. Rukia however appeared interested with the strange human methods. Was this how they treated their sick?
"I'm fine!" Ichigo gritted out through his teeth. He was seriously getting annoyed with his crazy father's antics, yet he was also unknowingly causing his temperature to rise and therefore sealing his fate.
"AH HA!" Isshin's yelled, making everyone jump as he jerked the thermometer from Ichigo's jaws. "99.9! Back to bed my son! I would be stripped of my doctor's degree if I let you even leave your room!"
"What? No you wouldn't!" Ichigo protested, starting to struggle. "I said I'm fine! Now lemme go! I wanna go to school!"
He managed to free his arms and began to claw at the ground in a valiant effort to escape his father's clutches.
The only thing he succeeded in was putting scratch marks on the floor. Isshin ate too much of Yuzu's cooking.
"Rukia! Keep my idiot son from leaving while I go get some medicine!"
"Of course Mr. Kurosaki!" As Rukia's false sweet voice sounded from the heavens, Ichigo knew he was in for a world of pain. She was going to enjoy this, he had no doubt. Oh, he really had to escape now.
As soon as Isshin got up, Ichigo began to crawl as fast as he could towards the door, clambering to his feet as he did so.
Rukia's sideways kick sent him reeling into the wall and slumping into a dazed position on the floor. She took advantage of his momentary confusion to roll him on his stomach and press her foot deeply into his back.
"Why you—ACK!" He was about to spring up when she grabbed his arms and twisted them behind his back, a move Chappy the mod soul would be proud of.
"Ichigo, don't be stupid," Karin drawled, almost sounding amused. "You know how embarrassing it would be if dad chased you to school. Course, there's always the chance they'd take him to the funny farm—"
"Karin! Try to be nice!" Yuzu scolded.
Meanwhile, Isshin Kurosaki had returned carrying with him blue box. The grin on his face was too much of a giveaway for Ichigo not to know what he had planned.
"You're insane, goat face," he hissed, "That better not be what I think is in there, because if it is, I swear you're getting a one-way ticket to the Soul Society!"
Rukia tightened her grip on Ichigo's twisted limbs in anticipation, causing him to yelp.
"Mr. Kurosaki, what's in the box?"
"Something that will make this a whole lot easier," Isshin said, still smiling, "Yoruichi gave me a few in supplies, in case something like this happened."
"Something like what?" Rukia asked as Ichigo started to squirm franticly in her grasp. Isshin withdrew his hand to revile a needle in all its pointy glory.
"I'll get Yoruichi for this!" Ichigo swore, still struggling with all his might. Isshin joined Rukia to place one foot on his son's back, pulling the sleeve of Ichigo's school uniform up and exposing the crook of his bent arm. Unable to move as well with his heavy father on his back, Ichigo could do nothing more than curse as he felt the prick of the needle.
The effect was immediate. His brain slurred and his movements stilled as unconsciousness came over him, whether he wanted it to or not.
"You're such a loving father," Karin's sarcastic remark seemed to hit a sore spot. Isshin sprung up from his sleeping son to dramatically bawl his lungs out to the oversized poster of Masaki.
"Oh my dear wife! I don't know what I did, but my daughter is being so snide lately! What do I do?!"
Rukia dropped the unconscious Ichigo's limp arms and poked him in the side to test if he was really out of it.
"Wow, it's just like last time," she said, "I guess I should thank Yoruichi, he really is as stubborn as a mule."
"This reminds me of when Ichigo was sick with the stomach flu," said Yuzu, unable to keep the worry out of her voice. "Dad couldn't make him stay home but he ended up being sent back here anyway by the school nurse because he puked in the middle of class. I wish he would take better care of himself!"
"I suppose this is the best way then," said Karin, "Just knock him out and be done with it. The problem is when he wakes up, he's gonna be hopping mad. Hey dad, keep him on tranqs, will ya?"
"I was going to anyway!" Isshin proclaimed, waving his hands wildly. "Anything to make my daughter happy!"
Rukia followed Isshin as he carried his son back up to bed who had started snoring as soon as Isshin laid him on the soft mattress.
"Is he really that sick?" she asked. "This seems a little overboard…even for humans."
"When it comes to my son, better safe than sorry," Isshin replied in a rather serious voice. "The kid's too bullheaded to admit when he's not feeling well. He'll insist he's fine until his body gives out on him, which, I may add from a doctor's perspective, is a stupid thing to do. If he keeps on taxing his body like that, be it spirit form or human, his life span will be cut in half."
"He has a mere cold, is that truly taxing one's body to the limits?"
"Well, no. The reason why I went overboard is payback for getting dragged down the stairs." His goofy grin suddenly burst forth so quickly Rukia took a step back in alarm. "Well, my wonderful third daughter, make sure Ichigo doesn't leave the bed! I need to go to the hospital to bother Ryuken about medical supplies! Karin and Yuzu will be back around 3:15 so you'll be on your own! I'll call your school and tell them that you're busy! Later!"
Isshin tromped down the stairs and out the front door just as Karin and Yuzu left for school. The house was quiet but for the loud snoring sound coming from Ichigo's direction.
Rukia didn't know the first thing about tending to a sick person. Sure, she knew kidō, but not the sort that was used on sickness. She only knew first aid for hollow wounds, nothing more!
She glared at Ichigo's unconscious form. This was his fault.
"Ichigo you fool," said Rukia, her voice faltering slightly. Her hands were clenched with anger. She needed to be writing another lieutenant's report for her captain, draw Chappy on her sketch pad, and do that stupid homework. There was no time for…for
She softened slightly, frowning at the source of her troubles.
"Fine, you win. I'll go—um…make sure you don't get any sicker, or I'll punch you!"
Rukia turned around and headed downstairs, aware that this was the third argument Ichigo had won. Pity he wasn't awake to congratulate himself.
She found herself in the clinic waiting room, looking for who knows what. Where was it that they kept information on illnesses?
Her eyes landed on a bookcase packed with thick medical books. Bingo! Now, all she had to do was find the right one. Her fingers touched the spines of the strange books, searching slowly.
How to Treat Poisonous Snake Bites
No. Definitely not.
What is cancer?
What is one of Ichigo's Shakespeare books doing down here?
Allergies and Asthma
Is that a love story? What weird names for a couple…
Poor Alzheimer, being sick isn't fun. But Ichigo doesn't have a disease, so he can't have what Alzheimer has.
Flu, Fevers, and Colds
At last, Rukia pulled the correct book from the shelf. It had been hidden between Doctors for Dummies and Witch Doctor Remedies. It was a surprisingly small book compared to the rest which probably contained a thousand pages each.
She flipped it open, her eyes trailing over the symbols and grotesque pictures of freak medical occurrences. All she wanted was to know how to get rid of Ichigo's cold, not the names of weird medicine.
Rukia looked up at the ceiling. Ichigo was being stupid again, wasn't he? Well, maybe he could tell her what she should do…after she tied him to his bed that is. Honestly, couldn't he stay still for five minutes, even after being drugged?
Closing the book with a snap, she raced up stairs and threw open his door. Ichigo was lying on his face in the middle of the floor; apparently he fell there while trying to walk to his bookshelf. Rukia watched, amused as he wobbled to his feet, cursed, and fell back down. He did this at least three times more before he noticed her.
"Well don't' just stand there, help me!" he snapped, voice sounding like a walrus again.
"Help you with what exactly?" Rukia asked, desperately trying not to laugh. Ichigo scowled.
"—getting a book down from my dumb shelf!"
"Ohhhh, is that all?" She pulled a few Sonnets down from the shelf in question and put them on his desk. "So what now then? Will you need help getting up from the floor or do you intend to flop there like a fish out of water?"
"Shut up!" he all but snarled ask he clambered to his feet again. He managed to keep his balance by standing still until he tried to take a step forward.
As much as it would be funny to see him fall unceremoniously to the floor again, Rukia swallowed her amusement and caught him.
"Ichigo," she grunted, staggering under his weight as she helped him back to bed. "How can you be so skinny yet weigh so much?"
"Because I'm tall, shortie…"
She implanted her elbow firmly in his gut, sending him into a coughing fit.
"Being sick does not give you an excuse to insult me and get away with it, fool." Rukia heaved his body on his bed. He glared at her as he pulled himself into a sitting position.
"I'm not sick!"
"Yes you are!" she snapped as she shoved him back down.
"No I'm not!" he pushed her hands off his shoulders and attempted to sit up again.
"Yes you are!" she leapt up on his bed and sat on his chest.
Argh! No I'm not!"
His fingers found their way to her sides and started tickling. Rukia giggled, unable to contain her laughter as she fell off of him and onto the floor. Recovering from his sudden attack, she frowned deeply as she rose to her feet. Ichigo was sitting up, smirking at her defiantly. He was going to pay for that.
Reaching into his desk drawer, she pulled out a silver roll of strong tape. Rukia grinned evilly as Ichigo paled.
Ah, she would.
It was a good thing Ichigo was not up to full strength. If he had been, he would have easily been able to stop her.
But, alas, he was not up to full strength, and therefore unable to prevent her from taping him to the bed.
"Come on Rukia! Let me go!"
He struggled against the duct tape while Rukia proudly inspected her fine work. Pleased to find he couldn't move an inch, she set the blessed silver roll down and picked up Flue, Fever, and Colds where she'd left it.
"Now," she said grandly, ignoring how Ichigo was glaring daggers at her. "If you deny that you're sick one more time, I draw Chappy on you."
He grumbled something that sounded like "blackmail". Rukia smiled at him.
"Exactly that, now tell me how to treat this cold of yours," she shoved the book under his nose. "This strange book only shows weird pictures and medicines."
"Is that all?" he complained, but shut his mouth quickly under her stony gaze. She was being serious. Couldn't the idiot get it through his head?
"Fine," Ichigo mumbled. "Yuzu sometimes makes hot soup when Karin's sick so you can reheat some vegetable soup from the fridge. Then you can get some nightquil from the medicine cabinet."
"So I put the soup in the box that beeps, then I go get this nightquil thing, right?"
He nodded. Rukia sighed.
"If you hadn't made such a big fuss, I would have done this sooner."
"Oi! You were the one who lost their temper!"
"Look who's shouting."
He gritted his teeth in frustration and strained against his bonds.
"I swear Rukia, if you ever get sick I am so taping you to your—your…" his voice trailed away as Rukia fingered her marker. "You know what? Never mind. Just go."
"That's right," Rukia said, triumphant grin in place, "Stay right there and think good thoughts like a good little boy. In the meantime, I will be working hard to make sure you feel better!" She bent down and kissed his forehead. His face turned crimson as she pulled away and ruffled his hair.
"I'll be back shortly!" she called merrily, waving him adieu as she closed the door behind her.
There. After that, he won't be a problem. She grinned and skipped downstairs in into the kitchen.
Now, where was that soup?
I might continue this if I am so requested.