Here is a new story! I know that this has been done before, but in my opinion it has not been done enough! I wanted to try my hand at writing the humorous-macabre style. There is a bit of a Point-of View switch, which I normally try not to do, but most of this story will be from Harry.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the Addams Family
"Mama!" Four year old Wednesday Addams whined as she ran into her mother's greenhouse. "Mama, the boy in the cemetery broke my ax!"
Morticia Addams stopped clipping the heads off of the roses on her bushes to peer down at her little devil.
"A boy in the cemetery?" she asked in her cold, calm voice. "How ever did he get there?"
Wednesday Addams huffed. Her mother was obviously missing the point.
"He just appeared. But when I tried to cut him in half he wouldn't let me! And when I tried again it broke!"
"Mama! It doesn't matter how! He broke my ax!"
Morticia's curiosity was certainly spiked. It was not often when a child could get a step ahead of her Wednesday.
"Well let us go see him then." She said, putting down her shears. Wednesday gave a satisfied smirk and pulled her mother by the hand to the graveyard. They came across the ax first.
"Look! Just look at what he did!" Wednesday pouted. Morticia examined the weapon more closely. There was a large nick in the edge, and the blade was as dull as a butter knife. But that was impossible. She had helped her daughter sharpen it just this morning.
"We can fix it, mon diable, do not fret. Now where is this mystery child?"
Wednesday scowled at her mother's lack of outrage on her behalf and pointed at a nearby tomb.
Morticia circled it to find a child crouched down trying to hide behind the stone. He was a little older than Wednesday herself. His pale face was marred by a gloriously hideous scar, framed by messy black hair that was as dark as her own, and complemented by bright green eyes that were wonderfully reminiscent of some of her Mama's more lethal brews.
He looked up at her petulantly after a brief moment of fear. Morticia recognized the tortured soul within and already felt fond of him.
"She's lying. I didn't do it." He said.
"You are not in trouble, little one. Where did you come from?"
"I'm not going back."
"Are you a run away?"
"Yes... no. I escaped. And I didn't run. I popped."
"Popped?" She asked intrigued.
"Yes. 'Popped'. Like this." He said. Then with a faint pop he disappeared, and reappeared several feet to the right.
There were very few times when Morticia could admit to being surprised, and this was one of them. She had never seen or even heard of such a thing! She doubted even Mama would have dreamed of it!
Wednesday forgot her animosity for a moment.
"Teach me!" She ordered.
"I don't think I can. I don't know how I do it. I just do. Besides, you are too little anyway." He scoffed.
"Children, please." Morticia chided. "Why did you want to leave your home dear?"
He seemed to think about it for a minute.
"Everything." He finally said. "They didn't like my 'popping' and other weird things, and they said I was a freak. They made me do all the chores like cleaning the house and weeding the garden-"
"Clean!" Wednesday interrupted. "Why would you clean a properly dirty house? And the weeds are the best part of a garden!"
The boy just shrugged.
"It sounds just horrible, mon pet. Do not worry, we will not make you go back to such a horribly normal place." Morticia assured him. "What is your name?"
"That's a stupid name." Wednesday said.
"It is not!"
"Harry is a fine name. I had a distant cousin named Hairy." Morticia said. "But what is your last name, mon cher?"
"I dunno. Don't think I have one."
"Then how about you become an Addams? Harry Addams?"
He thought it over for a moment.
"Okay. What do I call you?" He finally said. Morticia smiled.
"You may call me Mama."
He looked at her suspiciously.
"Does that make you my mum, then?" he asked.
"If you wish me to be."
He paused again.
"I've never had a family." He said.
"Once an Addams, always an Addams, and you will have more family than you will know what to do with. Everyone in this cemetery is an Addams."
Harry looked around in awe at the seemingly endless tombstones.
"Yeah." He finally said. "Yeah, alright."
"Great! Then I am your sister Wednesday. That means I get to make your life Hell."
The Dark Lady, Mama, Harry supposed she was now, and Wednesday led him to the large dark house on the property. Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon would have hated it. Harry loved it.
They walked straight on inside, and almost ran into a man that Harry thought looked a lot like Frankenstein.
"Ah, Lurch, could you ask the family to gather in the sitting room?" Harry's new Mama asked. He made a grunting noise and shuffled off.
Harry was taken into a room with black leather couches and strange decorations that looked like the ones he had seen on Halloween. This family certainly wouldn't mind if he wasn't normal.
"Just sit here, mon cher." his mama told him, motioning to the couch.
"Tish! You spoke French!"
Harry looked up to see whom had spoken. It was a pale man with dark eyes and slicked back hair, a thin mustache and wearing a pin-stripped suit.
"Not now, Gomez." Morticia said gently.
"And who might this be?" the man asked, looking down at Harry.
"Are we having a guest for dinner? Yummy!" said a portly boy about eight years old as he walked in. He was still skinner than Dudley.
"I'm not food." Harry frowned at him.
"I guess you are too skinny anyway." He sighed, poking Harry's arm with a thoroughly disappointed frown.
"His bones might add an interesting flavor to some stew, though." cackled someone behind him. A hunched crone with very few teeth and far too much flyaway gray hair was eyeing him. She bent over and gave him a sniff. "Or is he for Cleopatra and Kitty Cat?"
Harry huffed and crossed his arms.
"Was' all the fuss about?" asked another man that entered. He was bald and dressed in all black, his eyes looking as if they might pop out of his head. Lurch came in behind him, a severed hand on his shoulder. His mama had been right! This family was huge!
"This is Harry." Wednesday spoke up. "I found him so he is mine!"
"I have invited Harry to become an Addams." Morticia went on. "He ran away from a devastatingly normal home."
"And he can 'pop'! He is going to show me how." Wednesday boasted.
"We can pop him?" the boy grinned, gasping in delight.
"No, Pugsley." Wednesday said with a roll of her eyes. "Show them Harry."
"Manners, Wednesday." Their mother chided.
Harry huffed. He didn't like her telling him what to do, especially when he was older than her, but he really didn't mind showing off. So he 'popped' to the other side of the room, and then back.
"Bravo! Bravo!" The man named Gomez yelled as he started clapping.
"I can make things float too." Harry boasted, making several skulls and candles take to the air and zoom around before returning them to their places.
"How wonderful! Tish! You are absolutely right! He most certainly is an Addams!" He grinned. "My name is Gomez Addams, my son, and I am your new Papa. You already know my lovely wife and striking daughter. And this here is your older brother Pugsley. My brother, and your Uncle Fester-"
"Pleased to meet you." the bald man said in a rumbly voice, shaking one of Harry's small hands in both of his big ones.
"Tish's mother, your Grandmama-" he said, motioning to the old crone. She gave him another experimental sniff and then shrugged.
"Lurch our butler, and Thing our... um... thing!"
The severed hand on Lurch's shoulder waved at him, and Harry waved back.
Being an Addams was going to be great.