Title: Now that won't be easy to get outta the carpet..

Author: Hope

Disclaimer: Joss and UPN own all, yadda yadda yadda, I'm just borrowin'

Summary: Instead of heading home after 'Life Serial', Buffy heads back to Spike's crypt..


"Woah! Slayer, you have t'hold on." Spike scolded, reaching behind him and grabbing Buffy's arm as she tipped slightly to the side. At the rate they were going, she was going to be a pavement pancake before they got halfway to his crypt. She obediently wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his back. "Good girl." He commented, speeding the motorcycle up a bit knowing she was now safely holding on.

"Spike?" She asked meakly, her eyes watching the lines on the pavement as they spend by.

"Yeah luv?"

"Can we stop?" she squeaked, a wave a nausea sweeping over her.

Chuckling slightly, he slowed down and pulled off to the side of the road. The Slayer fell almost gracefully to the pavement before the bike had even come to a stop, scrambled over to the curb and proceeded to cough violently. Spike smirked as he turned the bike off and walked up behind her, pulling her hair off her shoulders and holding it behind her back. "You alright?"

Buffy shook her head as she gagged once more.

Spike sighed as he held her hair back, rubbing his other hand in small circles over her back until she relaxed a bit. Sniffling, she stood up slightly. "Better?" He asked tentatively. She nodded slightly as she began to walk back over to the bike, stumbling. The vampire caught her arm before she could fall and grinned, wrapping an arm around her waist. "Come on, we'll walk."

"What about your bike?" She asked.

"I'll get it tomorrow." He replied. "So, where we headin'? Back t'your place, I reckon..."

"What? No." She said, shaking her head. "Dawn's there, I don't want her to see me..."

"Drunk?" he finished, smirking.

She scowled slightly. "Giles is there..."

"So we goin' back to my place then?" He questioned.

She thought about this for a moment, still clutching onto his arm to keep from falling. "Do you mind?"

"Not at all, luv." He answered, a small smile tugging at his lips. "But for the sake of me not becoming extra crispy, what d'you say we pick up the pace a bit, ey?"

Buffy nodded and made an attempt to walk faster, only resulting in her tripping over her own feet. The vampire steadied her and smirked. "No offense, luv, but at the rate we're going we won't get there 'til next week.." She gave him a perplexed look. "Promise not t'hit me?" He asked.


"Just promise you won't hit me." He said.

"Uh...yeah, whatever.." She mumbled absently, clenching her eyes shut to block out spinning landscape. She was caught off guard as Spike crouched down in front of her, grabbing her arms and wrapping them around his neck. Looping his arms under her legs, he stood and began to walk once more, a very indignant Slayer on his back.

"You alright?" He asked when the girl didn't protest. He'd expected a swift fist to the head for this.

"My head hurts..." She muttered, resting her forehead against the back of his head and closing her eyes.

He smiled. "We'll be there in a bit, luv. Just hold tight, alright?"

"Mmm hmm..." She muttered lazily, not acknowledging the fact that she was allowing William the Bloody to give her a piggyback ride through a cemetery in plain view of any other nasties that might still be lurking about. "You use girly shampoo..." she mumbled.

"What?" He asked, confused by her sudden statement.

"Your hair smells all flowery." She noted drunkenly, audibly sniffing the back of his head.

"It's the gel." He said in his defense, smirking.

"Doesn't matter, you're hair still smells girly."

"Yes pet." He agreed sarcastically, pushing the door to his crypt open with his foot as not to lessen his hold on the girl. "Hold on." he instructed when they reached the top of the ladder. Obeying, she tightened her hold on his neck and he was suddenly very glad he didn't need to breathe. Once she had her legs securely wrapped around his middle, he let go with his hands and descended down the ladder, the Slayer clinging to his back for dear life. "There ya go, sweets. Safe an' sound." He said as he flopped her down onto the bed.

She sat there, sitting on the edge of the bed as she shrugged off his duster and tossed it over a chair. "Where're you gonna sleep?" she questioned, making a face as she looked around the room.

"Upstairs." He answered simply. He watched her for a moment as she looked around. "You want something else to wear?"

"Huh?" She asked, snapping back to attention. She shook her head a bit, squeezing her eyes shut as she tried to clear up her fuzzy vision.

"You want something else to wear." He repeated. "Those jeans don't look very bloody comfortable."

"Oh..." She muttered, looking down at what she was wearing. He was right, not exactly her first choice of sleepwear. "You got anything?" She asked, looking back up at him.

"Well, either you do with a t-shirt and boxers or I make a dash for your place a nick some of your pj's."

"Uh...no. You'll wake Dawn and them up..." The Slayer mumbled, shaking her head.

"So boxers it is then?" He questioned, arcing an eyebrow. The Slayer made a slight face and he grinned. "Don't worry, luv, they're clean."

She couldn't help but smirk as she caught the makeshift pajamas he tossed her. "Even your underwear lack color." She stated.

"M'not very partial to the heart ones m'self." He said with a shrug, noting the small glare she was giving him. "Don't worry, I won't peak." He said, rolling his eyes as he turned and put his back to her.

"You got any aspirin?" She asked after a few moments.

The vampire turned to find her snuggled up under the blankets, her arms wrapped tightly around her uneasy stomach. "Sorry pet." He said sincerely. "You want me to go get you some?"

She looked up at him, making a slight face. "No." She finally said, flopping back down onto the pillow. "That's silly."

"What is?" He asked as he walked over and sat down behind her on the bed.

"You goin' to get me pain killers." She said simply. "You're my mortal enemy, remember?"

He chuckled. "Yeah, I remember."

"Me an' you. We're completely screwed up, you know that? I mean, I'm a Slayer whose died twice, boinked a vampire, quit the Council, and pretends that life's actually worth living. And you. you're a neutered vampire with a really bad fashion sense, girly smellin' hair, a stupid drinkin' problem, and you're in love with the most pathetic Slayer the world has ever known.." She snorted, rolling onto hr back. "They should make a TV show 'bout my life and how screwy it is."

The vampire grinned. "Yeah, and they'd give Peaches his own show 'cause ev'ry one 'round here hates the guy."

"'sactly. He'd be off doin' his own thing while us Sunnydalers stay here an' make fun of his hair." She said with a nod.

"Sounds good t'me, s'long as he ain't allowed to come back. You know, no crossovers or anything." Spike added.

"Nope. No crosserovers." She giggled. She stopped abruptly.

"S'matter?" He asked, noting her contemplative look.

The Slayer sat up, staring at him seriously. "You ever played truth or dare?"

"Few years back at a party. Ended up running over half the city stark naked 'fore I got fed up and just ate the bloke who dared me t'do it." He said, earning a hard glare from the drunk girl. "Why d'you ask?"

"Well, this just reminds me of the times me an' my friends from LA would sit in my basement and talk. Then we'd end up playing Truth or Dare or Spin the Bottle or something silly like that." She explained.

"So you suggesting we play?" He asked, a devilish grin on his face.

"No." she snapped quickly. She wrinkled her nose up and snorted. "My belly's all gurgley and you, you would just make me take my clothes off." She accused, pointing a finger at him.

"Would not." He protested. Buffy just rolled her eyes. "Right, so I would." He admitted with a smirk. "So, you wanna play?"

Buffy shook her head. "No. I was just sayin' this reminded me of when I used t'play it. Tha's all."

"Fine, how 'bout we just ask questions then. No dares." Spike suggested.

"None?" She asked, drawing her knees up to her chest.

"None." He promised.

Buffy thought about this for a moment before making a face. "What if I don't wanna answer the question?"

"Well, we need a little nudity since you're a wimp and don't wanna do any dares. How 'bout for ev'ry question you don't answer, you loose one piece of clothing." He suggested.

"You, my friend, are seriously way too drunk." Buffy pointed out. "That's the most stupidest game I've ever heard of." She declared indignantly.

"Come on. It'll be fun." He whined, pouting a bit.

Buffy laughed. "I can't believe I used to be afraid of you."

"You were afraid of me?" He asked, grinning.

Her face fell. "No! No, no. You.you were just stupid. I mean, come on. 'I'm gonna kill you on Saturday.' Real intimidating Mr. Big Bad with really stupid hair. A-and then you go and tell my mom we're in a band together, and then you like turn into her best friend, comin' over my house and drinkin' my hot chocolate. How silly is that?"

"Pretty silly." He agreed, smirking. "So you up for it, or are you scared you'll loose to me?"

The Slayer snorted and sat up as straight as she could in her drunken state. "No. I can beat you at anything, even your stupid strip Truth or.Truth."

"Good girl. Now, who goes first?" He said, turning so he was facing her.

"Me." She said.

"You? Why you? It was my bloody idea."

"Cause I'm the Slayer."

"Oh sure, and that makes you all high and mighty, does it?"

"Yep." She said with an exaggerated nod.

"Fine then, Your Highness, ask away."

"Uh. what's your favorite color?"

He snorted. "You're kidding." Buffy just stared at him expectantly. "Fine, waste your question. It's black."


"What? It is."

"No, you big sack of stupid. You're a vampire, you're like required by law to say that. What's your favorite non-black color?"

"That's two questions."

"Is not. I'm rephrasing the first one."

"Fine then. Blue." He said, rolling his eyes. "So then, my turn is it? Let's see, as long as we're starting with nitpicky questions. how bout you, what's your favorite color?"

"Green." She answered, already thinking about what her next question would be. "Uh, what color is your hair?"

"Blonde, you silly git."

"No, I mean really."

"Brownish, I suppose." He said. "I don't really recall. But hey, while we're talkin' 'bout hair, what about yours. Naturally blonde?"

"Nope." She said, shaking her head. "It's like, brownish too, I guess." She shrugged. "What's your middle name?"


"You heard me."

"Daniel." He said, causing Buffy to giggle. "Hey, s'better than 'Anne'."

"Is not." She protested.

"It's my middle name, 'course it's better than yours." He replied coyly. "Now, let's make this a tad bit more interesting, 'ey? You ever think about me."

"What kind of question is that?"

"I'm not finished." He stated coolly. "You ever think about me naked?"

Her face turned every color of red imaginable. "No." She said hurriedly, shaking her head. Spike just smirked. "Fine.maybe.once...o-or."

"I get it, pet." He said, saving her from her indignant rambling with a smile of triumph. "Your turn."

She scowled, trying to come up with an equally embarrassing question. It was silly to ask whether or not he thought about her naked, of course he did. "Have you ever thought about Dawn like that?"

His face fell. His shirt hit the floor.

"Pig." She said with an evil grin.

He glared mockingly at her. "What about Giles? Ever fancy him?"

"What? No! Ugh, Spike, he's like my dad or something." She whined, making a face.

"A simple no would have done." He said with a grin. "Willow and Tara, ever wonder what they do together?"

Her eyes went wide. "I, uh. I-I don't." Snorting, she pulled her boxers off and tossed them to the ground, suddenly thankful that the vampire's shirt was a bit long on her. "I hate you."

"Doesn't everyone?" He asked with a grin.

"No doubt in my mind." She muttered. "Okay, Big Bad. Ever wonder about them?"


She made a face. "You're disgusting!"

"What? I'm a guy, what'd you expect?"

"You're a sick puppy."

"Right then. Sick I am." He agreed, thinking for a moment about his next question. "What scares you?"

"What? That's stupid, I'm a Slayer."

"So. You can still be scared of things. Maybe not vampires or monsters or the like but something has to scare you."

Her eyes fell. "Being weak. Not being able to take care of my friends." Looking back up, she shrugged slightly. "What about you?"

"Losin' you again. Havin' t'watch Dawn go through that torture she went through last summer. Dealing with your friends.havin' to work with Xander. The thought of it all, I dunno, makes me sick. You know? Probably a lot like you feel right now, you know, what with the alcohol and all. All queasy and whatnot. 'Cept without the vomiting, s'more like a really nasty sword to the gut. "

"Oh." She whispered, her eyes falling once more. The vampire in front of her shifted slightly, not speaking.

"My turn then?" He asked, breaking the unsettling silence.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, you. Ask away." Buffy sputtered.

Reaching over to the bed stand, he grabbed a bottle of whisky and a glass. "Why do you love me?" He asked as he poured himself a drink.

"I don't know, I guess it's 'cause." She stopped, her face going blank. "You tricked me!"

"Did not!" He protested, grinning as he downed the drink. "You didn't have to answer the bloody question, it was your choice you nit." Still grinning, he refilled the glass and handed it to her. "Somethin' you wanna tell me, luv?"

Snatching the glass from him, she gulped it down, scowling. "I hate you."

He cocked his head to the side, a smirk still firmly planted on his face. "Do you now?"

"Yes." She mumbled, scowling and snatching the bottle from him. She took a long swig from it, shuddering. She set it roughly on the nightstand and stared absently at the floor.

"Buffy?" Spike asked gently, giving her a puzzled look.

"I'm gonna be sick." She whimpered before leaning over the bed and gagging once more.

"That's really disgusting, pet." Spike said simply as he crawled behind her, pulling her hair back once more.

"Sorry." She muttered almost unaudibly as she sat back up, tears in her eyes.

"Can't very well hold your liquor, can you now?" He asked the sniffling girl as he brushed her hair from her face. She shook her head and fell sideways, her head resting on his shoulder. The vampire smirked, giving her a small hug. "Come on, lay down and get some sleep. You'll feel better in the morning." Buffy agreed with a yawn as she laid down, allowing the vampire to pull the blankets up over her.

"Spike?" She asked, watching as he stood from the bed.

"Yeah luv?"

"Sorry for making your night crap."

"Wasn't crap, sweets."

"Yes it was."

Sighing, he sat back down on the bed. "Way I see it is, we spent a whole night together doin' some semi-normal bonding and whatnot, and you haven't hit me once. I'd say it's the start of a beautiful friendship."


"Really." He assured her, wrapping his hand around hers and giving it a slight squeeze. "Now get some sleep 'fore you get sick on my floor again. I don't have a problem with demon guts and the such, but I really don't fancy Slayer spew in the carpets."

"'night, Spike."

"Sweet dreams, Slayer."