A/N: This story doesn't have much to do with what happens on the show but I hope you'll like it. Enjoy and review!

Disclaimer: I do not own Merlin.

Three's Company

Gwaine sat on a cold, stone floor of the cell, back propped up against a wall, and pondered on the unfairness of life. Why wasn't he allowed to pick up a bar fight with a knight? Technically, a commoner (Gwaine didn't advertise the fact that he was the son of a knight) shouldn't be much of a threat to a nobleman whose job it was to protect the kingdom, right? And even if the "commoner" was quite good at brawling, like Gwaine was, it would surely be a perfect opportunity for the knight to hone some of his fighting skills? It really made no sense. Although this particular knight had no skills to hone, Gwaine thought with a smirk, and so he ended up with a messed up face and missing a couple of teeth. What a shame. But then, Gwaine was doing him a favour. At least he'd be looking a little battle-scarred from now on. That couldn't hurt a knight's reputation, could it? And women found that sexy. Well, maybe not the missing teeth, but whatever. So why was he arrested and thrown in jail for ten days? And why ten days? Was this guy really important or something? He didn't look it, especially when he collapsed and started whining. But who can tell with these noblemen. These guys have serious issues.

Okay, why was he still thinking about this crap? Oh, right, because there was nothing better to do.God, he was going to get bored out of his mind in this hole. Whoever invented jail, knew exactly what he was doing. I hope he ended up in one as well, thought Gwaine bitterly. That's only fair for creating something like this. Oh, but guess what? Life's not fair, so that probably didn't happen. But he could be rotting in hell right now, was Gwaine's next thought but as he didn't really believe in all that heaven and hell business, it was hardly something to cheer him up. Actually, there was only one thing that could do that. Or rather two things. Well, persons, really. When he got locked up for the first time, he had to spend two days without their company and it was then that he realized how good friends they've become. He couldn't really point to anything specific, he just liked being around them, talking to them or even being silent with them (which didn't happen very often but still). And lately they've been spending all the time together so this sudden loneliness and boredom were even harder to swallow. Oh, don't be such a pansy, Gwaine, he snapped at himself. Bear it like a man, will you? It's only for ten days, not for the rest of your life. Ten days and you'll be free to roam the country with Dye and Rolf again. Relax, man.

He closed his eyes and tried to sleep but it was like spending the whole day in bed when you were sick and he didn't like it at all. He was much too energetic for that. Rolf was the lazy kind who could sit on his ass and do nothing all day. Gwaine always needed something to do, hence all the bar fights.

After two minutes he stood up with an exasperated sigh and started pacing around the cell. He was getting more and more depressed with every step. After a while he flopped down on the floor with resignation. He had some small stones in his pocket (he suspected Dye put them there as a joke) so he started flinging them at the door of his cell. And then, as if by magic, the door opened and two people appeared. Gwaine recognized them instantly.

"Dye? Rolf? Uther's pants, what are you doing here?"

Dye, a tall girl dressed up as a boy, smiled at him innocently.

"Well, we got bored and so I was like 'Let's go visit Gwaine in jail!' And that was the only way to do it."

"You mean–"

"We got into a bar fight, yeah," replied Dye calmly but there was a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "But not with a knight, so we only got four days for demolishing the inn."


"Well, we got a bit carried away." This time Dye couldn't quite hide her delight.

Gwaine just looked at them both for a minute or two before expressing his feelings.

"That. Is. So. Awesome."

"Oh, you should have seen us. Your brain would have exploded from our awesomeness."

"What brain?" asked Rolf innocently which made Dye roll her eyes at him.

"Come on, Rolf, you can do better than that. Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, you know? Look, I'll give you one more chance. So, what have you been up to, Gwaine?" she asked but she was looking at Rolf and Gwaine knew he had to wait with his answer. Rolf didn't seem inclined to take up the challenge but when Dye elbowed him in the ribs he sighed and obliged her.

"Let him think. Life here's so exciting, he probably doesn't know where to begin."

"You didn't even try, did you?"

"Why should I? You're witty enough for both of us."

"One day I'm going to kill you, I swear."

"You swear a lot lately."

"Okay, I take back what I said. You'd better stop trying to be funny, 'cause you suck at it."

Gwaine was very entertained by this exchange but he thought it was high time to intervene.

"Come on, Dye, don't be too hard on him. That was quite good."

"Oh, yeah, I forgot you are the one that always stops me from murdering this idiot."

Rolf smiled broadly and winked at Gwaine.

"Thanks, mate."

"Hey, no problem. I know what she's like in her bitch mode."

"If I were in my bitch mode, you two would be dead by now. Seriously, guys, you are so irritating sometimes–"

"Hark who's talking."

"Okay, now I'm officially pissed off."

"And you've only been here five minutes. Way to go, girl." Gwaine stretched leisurely. He was really enjoying this banter.

"Well, whose fault is that? No, Rolf, shut up, it was a rhetorical question."

"There's just no pleasing you sometimes."

It was always amusing to watch Dye pretend she was still mad just because she was too proud to admit she was getting all worked up over nothing. But at some point Gwaine and Rolf would take pity, stop answering and let her change the subject.

"Well, again, whose fault is that?" When neither of them seemed inclined to say anything, she sighed, "I hate it when you do that."

Gwaine and Rolf high-fived each other and Dye glared at them menacingly.

"What? Can't we have some fun, too?"

"Fine. Whatever. I've smuggled in a pack of cards, who wants to play?"