Feb 28, 2012 Jake tells me he loved me every day. I can't seem to tell him back, but he says it's okay. That he will wait for me. We have had several make out sessions, and I love the way he can play my body. He tried to get me to touch him a few nights ago, but I was scared. I have never felt one or even seen one in real life. I have no clue what to do, and Jake is so experienced. What if I do it wrong? What if I can't make him feel the way he makes me feel? He is coming over tonight, and I think I will try. It's the next step right?

Well Jake just left. It didn't go as I had hoped. He didn't want to watch a movie. Just told me he missed me and needed to hold me. I thought it was cute at first, but then he started to touch me. It was different this time. It wasn't slow and soft, his hands were needed and fast. It felt off somehow, and when he took my hand to move it towards his obviously growing erection, I freaked. I jerked my hand back and he got mad at me. I don't understand what I did. I told him he needed to slow down, that it was too fast, but he told me it was only fair. He said it was the next step that I needed to return the favor. The moment I started to cry and asked him to go he changed. He started telling me he was sorry, and that he had a hard day and was taking out on me. He said he didn't mean it, and that he loved me. He even broke down and cried. He told me how his dad called him today and they got in a fight. He swore he didn't mean to pressure me, and begged for my forgiveness. We ended up sniggling on the couch and just holding each other.