Finally Chapter 13 and the unofficial end to Blue Lace! This is hard! Thank you to everyone that has followed the story. Thank you for all the amazing reviews and messages that I received telling me how this story touched you. You are all amazing and truly the only reason I continued this. Blue Lace was originally only meant to be a one time thing. Only Chapter one. I found quickly that I couldn't just put it down and back away slowly. The story unfolded one sentence at a time and completely caught me off guard. For everyone that has enjoyed this and the previous circus dream chapter be on the look out for the spin-off "Red Velvet" My next project that once again was meant as a one time thing and we all know how that goes...I'm talking New Place, New Time, and an entirely New Paily Story! A BIG shout out to Lainierb for being my first follower/reviewer and for sticking with me through all of my rants and breakdowns!

Something woke her abruptly, ripping her from her dreams and replacing them with an uneasy feeling. Like those nights when you wake up suddenly from a noise that you're sure only you heard. But no matter how hard you try you can't place it because that noise was just a fabrication of your mind. A desperate cry through your dreams that were laced in warm sugar just moments ago.

She sat up slightly, looking around her bedroom. The alarm clock reading just after three in the morning. Everything around her was dark and quiet. Nothing but the faint stream of light through the window and the shallow breaths of Paige laying beside her. She studied her face in the darkness for a moment before she saw it. The slight tremble of her chin and the moisture down her cheek as she cried in her sleep. She reached her hand tentatively wiping the tears away and brushing her hair away from her face. Her heart ached for the sadness she found there. She relaxed back to her pillow, pulling Paige into her arms and holding her tightly to her chest.

"I would never rat out a teammate because my feelings were hurt. I take care of things myself."

She turned quickly and pushed out the doors. The ache in her chest threatening to bring her crashing down but the anger towards herself pushed her on. She had just hurt the person that she cares for the most, the person that scares her the most because she embodies everything that she hates inside of herself. Nothing about that was right and nothing about that was anybody's fault but her own. Certainly not Emily's fault. She would take care of things herself.

Her eyes flickered quickly to the pool as she reached her house. She didn't want to see Emily this time, she didn't deserve to see her. She deserved to feel everything she had just inflicted on her. She wanted the burn in her lungs that she had caused Emily. She wanted the fear she must have felt. The only difference she wanted was to be denied the resurface, because Emily had had no way of knowing if she would get that. So she grabbed an old rope from the shed and made her way to the pool knotting it intricately around her wrist and peering down at the grate of the old drain on the bottom.

It was ironic that no matter how hard she tried...the last image in her mind as she tightened the last knot ..was Emily's smile.

She held Paige close as she began to stir against her chest, combing her fingers into her hair, still braided in a messy bun. A few moments passed before she felt Paige slide her hand around her waist, returning her embrace. She looked at her face in the darkness, seeing the tear clinging to her cheek as her eyes fluttered open. Emily wiped it away carefully, half expecting her to flinch due to the mixture of emotions she was emitting. But even the sadness did nothing to hide the tenderness in her chocolate eyes.

Emily brushed away a piece of her hair that had fallen across her face and let them linger over one of the small braids. She could feel Paige just watching her in the darkness. Her breath increasing slightly as she reached around to pull gently on the tie in her hair. Her limbs felt tired and heavy, weighed down by sleep just moments ago. Everything wrapped snugly in a warm haze.

The soft tug sent Paige's hair falling down over her back and she began slowly working her fingers through her waves, breaking up the braids as she went. Paige tightened her grip around her waist as she sighed and let her eyes fall closed. She leaned in, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth the way Paige always did to her. As she moved to her jaw she felt Paige slide her hand to the small of her back, teasing with the hem of her McCullers shirt and pulling the air from her lungs with her fingertips. Emily reached her neck, tracing light kisses to her ear.

"I missed you." She whispered.

Paige tightened her grip around her back in response, restricting her movements. Then she pulled again at the hem of her shirt, dragging the thin blue cotton up her back.

"I don't want to take it off." Emily whispered, pulling back to look at her. Letting Paige search her eyes for the meaning this time and hoping she found it quickly. She did.

Paige pushed herself up in bed resting on her knees as she studied her face, her breath becoming ragged. She moved up to join her, inching closer on to her knees and watching her eyes flicker across the shirt. Yes, Paige understood her and why she didn't want to take it off. It was her name on her body. Her breath hitched as Paige grabbed hard over the printed name on her back. The way she twisted her fingers into the thin cotton, pressing it harder into her skin and willing the letters to burn into her flesh. She could tell Paige didn't want to take it off of her either. Her hands clasped around Paige's sides and lifted her blue shirt over her head, letting her fingers drag slowly across her skin. She traced her fingers up her bare sides, letting her eyes fall over her chest and the pale blue lace that clung tightly to her skin. She smiled, looking back into her eyes.

"I missed you too." Paige whispered.

Her heart beat again. She couldn't pinpoint when it had stopped exactly or for which reason. There seemed to have been so many in the last four days. The first time Paige had really touched her, her heart stopped. When she heard her laugh and cry, it had stopped. The day Paige left her standing alone in her backyard, it had shattered to the ground. But she hadn't noticed when it had started again, because it hadn't yet. Part of her afraid of waking up to Paige being gone all over again. But it beat now because Paige was wearing part of her too.

She leaned in softly to kiss her neck but Paige caught her face in her hands quickly, using her thumb to wipe a tear that had betrayed her completely. Then she leaned in to kiss her soundly. There was no stopping the tears once she had tasted her, home safely on her lips. Her breath grazing against her tongue as they moved slowly and deeply against each other. She could feel Paige's tears mixing with her own as a new realization took hold. They could say it with their eyes all day and they could say it with words...but in that moment their movements were the whole embodiment of 'don't leave me'. Each of them begging the other to stay. Through brushed skin and soft moans they said everything.

She moved her hand around to the clasp of the delicate lace giving a swift flick of her wrist and sending it falling down from her shoulders. Paige moved her hand down and grabbed tightly to her thigh, flipping her down onto her back and falling on top of her. She broke away from her lips and began working her way down her neck nipping and sucking as she moved. She didn't hesitate as her lips ran into the blue cotton. Instead she continued her kisses, mixing them carefully with the light scraping of her teeth. She felt the trembling begin through her body as Paige bit harder on her breast. The sensation of her hot breath seeping through the fabric and spreading across her skin. She twisted her fingers lightly into her hair, pulling Paige back to her mouth, and using her free hand to tug at the string of her white shorts, sliding them down over her hips. Paige pulled them off completely then stopped for a moment, just enough to read her eyes. The Passion and pain mirroring her own. The pain at being away from each other. The pain at missing any amount of time no matter how long or short it may have been. The Passion fed off of that pain, fueling it and driving them closer. She needed to make Emily forget that pain. She needed to rip it from her mind and replace it with the truth that she was never leaving her again.

Paige reached down, grasping around her cotton panties and pulling them off in one swift movement. She settled herself between her thighs, and wrapped Emily's legs behind her back, locking herself in place. Something about this position made Emily smile and brought the feeling of velvet beneath her hands. Something faint yet lingering. Paige watched her as she slipped her hand down, pressing slowly into her heat. Beginning soft movements and gasping at the arousal that coated her fingers.

She bit her lip as her eyes slammed shut, focusing only on feeling Paige's gentle strokes and the pure bliss it evoked in her blood. A quiver formed in her stomach as Paige brought their lips together to still the trembling that emitted from both of their bodies.

Looking down at Emily beneath her, wanting her and knowing that she was wanted in return, made the whole world disappear. Made her nightmares disappear from her mind, quite possibly for good. The vulnerability as she arched her back, pushing her hips eagerly to meet her fingers.

She could watch this moment forever and memorize every sigh leaving her lips. The thought of ever hurting her was unimaginable and that's what leaving had done. It had left them both broken and vulnerable to an onslaught of fear and doubt. All of those things were fine and normal when she was referring to herself, but not to Emily. She would gladly stop breathing if it meant erasing that pain from Emily's body and ensuring she never felt it again. Knowing that she was responsible for most of it was the worst feeling of all. Emily touched her cheek lightly, bringing her out of her thoughts.

She moved her fingers faster between her folds as Emily bucked her hips up to meet her. Catching her eye for just a moment before thrusting her fingers inside of her. A need rooted deep in her mind to do everything she could to heal Emily. A need to make her feel anything but pain. The moan that escaped her mouth told her that she was on the right track. She brought her lips down on hers again, trying to silence the tremble that kept reappearing. Emily somehow managed to snake her hand down, pressing just as firmly into the moisture between her thighs. She faltered slightly from being caught of guard, her body falling into her chest as Emily explored her, circling the pads of her fingers over her bundle of nerves. She buried her face into Emily's neck as she slammed her fingers into Emily harder, curling them with every stroke. She had to make the pain disappear from her body. She had to keep it at from coming back. She pressed heavily into Emily's hand as she felt her tighten her legs behind her back. She trembled and jerked under her body, as a soft cry escaped her lips.

"Paige, please." She whispered.

She lifted her head from her neck to look at her and to let her know that she was safe. The moment she watched her eyes soften and melt... Paige pressed a kiss to the corner of her mouth, sending Emily over the edge and a series of whimpers from her lips. The rocking of Emily's hips as she rode through her orgasm added the perfect mixture of pressure and friction between her thighs.

"Paige." She whispered, her voice pleading and slightly shocked.

She quickly realized she hadn't stopped moving her fingers against Emily's sensitive flesh. She went to pull her hand away in fear that her touch had become uncomfortable. To apologize for being so wrapped up that she had kept pushing on. But Emily whispered her name again, and then again as she moved back to the edge. And that thought started a tingling down her own legs.

Emily pushed inside of her, shoving the air from her lungs in one quick movement. She gasped, choking on the air as it was ripped from her chest. She quickened her hand again as she felt her body contract around Emily's fingers. Release in its truest form. Burying her face in Emily's neck to stifle the scream. Emily dragged her fingers away weakly, tightening her thighs and lifting her back off of the bed as the waves crashed through her again. Part of her wanted to continue the assault on Emily's body, to push to the extremes and really be sure that the pain was the furthest thing from her mind, but she retreated slowly. The heaving of Emily's chest told her to stop. She pushed up to see the tears falling from her face and hear the hysteria escaping her mouth as she panted... A soft high-pitched whimper leaving her throat. Paige panicked, grabbing onto her trembling hand and attempting to still her.

"Em?" She soothed, running her fingers through her hair and pulling her up off her back and into her arms. She cradled her carefully in her lap, waiting for Emily's body to relax. Time passed slowly as the sky turned from black to a purple, with hints of pink through the trees.

"Em...I'm sorry." She whispered. Emily smiled up at her lazily.

"Of all the things you could be sorry for, that's not one of them." She assured. Paige smiled, shaking her head at what Emily was referring to.

"Yeah...of all the things." She mumbled, looking away from her face. She felt Emily studying her face, so she carefully shaped her emotions to portray what she wanted. She wrapped her arms around her tightly, laying down beside her and pulling the quilt over their heads. Falling asleep as they traced their hands over each others body.

She woke up to the feeling of Emily kissing her way down her stomach. The quilt was still pulled over their heads but it let just enough light through to see what Emily was doing. She looked down at her dark waves that lay sprawled across her hips as the heat of Emily's tongue touched down on her. She gasped loudly as Emily licked, sucking softly through her folds, moving lower and pushing deeper.

"Oh, shit Em." She moaned, twisting her fingers into her hair. The words left her mouth a little louder than she had meant for them to but oh well. Emily pulled her lips away for a moment to whisper.

"Good morning..." She purred, sinking herself between her thighs again and eliciting another soft moan.

"Good morning!" A voice called cheerfully. They both froze. That hadn't come from either of them.

A knock sounded on the door, making them both jump. She threw her body quickly from the bed and ripped the covers from Emily's body, wrapping them around herself. Emily looked just as startled, and also betrayed by the fact that she had just been thrown under the to speak.

"hey!" She snapped in disbelief.

"What? It's your mom! She's seen you naked." She clutched the quilt tightly to her chest, unwilling to surrender it.

"Not since I was five!" Emily jumped grabbing at the sheets. The knock sounded again.

"Fuck!" Paige mumbled, looking around for her clothes. Then her mom's voice sounded again through the door.

"Paige, honey...please watch your mouth." She said sweetly.

Paige choked hard on a cough, looking shocked at Emily. She had mumbled that much softer than the rest, which meant Emily's mom had heard..everything.

"Sorry Mrs. Fields." Her voice cracked as she looked wide-eyed at Emily

"I'm running out to the store, I'll be back soon." Her voice was slightly amused.

"Okay, mom." Emily said weakly.

They listened as the footsteps faded down the stairs before they breathed again. Emily relaxed on the edge of the bed with the white sheet tangled around her body. Caramel skin and raven hair against the brightest of white. Beautiful.

"What?" She asked as she noticed the smile tugging at the corners of Paige's lips.

"Nothing...just" Her smile widened. "your mouth was just on my vagina and she's telling me to watch mine?! Biased much?"

Emily busted into laughter as she grabbed a pillow and tossed it at her. Paige caught it and dashed back over to her, planting a kiss on her lips.

"Now...clothes." Paige said, pulling away again. She reached for her blue t-shirt, forsaking the lace bra on the floor sadly, as she pulled it over her head. Emily appeared quickly at her side and grabbed her bare hips.

"Do you really want me to watch my mouth?" She whispered. She shook her head fervently.

" I do not." She replied. Emily smiled and kissed her soundly then walked to her closet.

"Do you have clothes?" She asked sliding into a pair of jeans.

"Um, yea kinda..I have some shorts in my gym bag." They hadn't gone back to the hotel to get her suitcase when leaving Scranton, but she had a clean set. Before she reached her duffel a bundle of denim hit her in the back. She smiled bending down to pick the jeans off of the floor.

"Can you turn around when you bend down like that?" Emily asked. "I'd have a better few from behind."

She smiled mischievously as she slipped her legs slowly inside without underwear. Emily sighed softly as she watched her pull the fabric tight over her skin.

"I want those back." She pointed."unwashed."

Paige chuckled softly, grabbing her jacket and pulling it over her shoulders.

It was one thing watching Paige stand wrapped in lavender as the sunshine poured through the window behind her. That was innocent and beautiful. But this? Watching her slide naked into a pair of her jeans...was the sexiest thing she had ever seen.

She turned back to the closet and shifted through the hangers, settling on a black long sleeve shirt. Her fingers brushed lightly over crushed velvet, clasping around it and pulling a soft scarf of the deepest red from the closet. She smiled seeing it and couldn't pinpoint why it screamed Paige's name.

Turning back to Paige she dangled it teasingly from her fingers. Paige shook her head automatically.

"I'm not wearing that." She said.

"Awwe, why?"

"It looks like it was made from a Christmas dress nightmare. You couldn't pay me enough to wear red velvet. Sorry but its tacky." Paige smiled and turned back to her duffel bag.

She inched her way towards her, stopping behind her back and slipping the scarf softly around her neck, then dragged it down and off. Just letting the velvet brush across her skin. Paige shuddered at the sensation, turning around to face her with a sly smile.

"Okay maybe it will grow on me." She sighed.

"Now who's easy, McCullers?" She teased.

She reached up, wrapping it around Paige's neck again, then fanned out her auburn waves across her shoulders. Her hair against the deep red was breathtaking and started a familiar fire deep in her veins.

She frowned as Paige pulled her bag over her shoulder. The panic setting in at the thought of her leaving. Paige mirrored her pain but quickly pressed their lips together to stifle it, breathing her in deeply as she licked her lower lip.

Emily broke away quickly, reigning herself in and hiding the pain she felt. It seemed to hurt Paige, so she smiled softly to reassure her.

"I don't know what time my folks will be home but I should probably be there just in case."

She nodded and turned back to her room to straighten up, wanting to keep her emotions to herself. Paige caught her by the wrist and pulled her close again, leaving just inches between their lips.

"Can I stop by later?" Paige asked. Her eyes softened as a smile worked its way across her lips. Happy that she wouldn't have to wait long.

"Yeah, of course." She beamed. Paige leaned in and kissed the corner of her mouth. There was always a chivalrous feeling to the way she did that. Like she wanted to kiss her just close enough, keeping it tender and sweet but with the intensity of letting Emily know that the passion was burning through.

She slipped away and out the door, leaving Emily alone in her room. Quickly she found herself pulling her room back together in a daze. Going through the motions but not really feeling them. Something festering under her skin and sitting uneasily in her stomach. Some sort of terrifying imbalance that she couldn't place, or didn't want to place. She picked the lace off of the floor and held it in her hand. Then spread the lavender quilt back over her bed and threw herself down, the scent of Orange and vanilla drifting from the fabric between her fingers. A crawling sensation formed beneath her skin as she replayed the morning in her mind. Trying to pinpoint where the feeling was coming from, and the helplessness that it brought.

She reached her house quickly, dropping her keys on the counter. The house was quiet and still. No cars in the driveway because her folks hadn't yet made it home. It was just after noon now so they could still be hours. The answering machine beeped on the buffet table behind her, signaling a message.

"Paige, there's a storm coming into Scranton. They've already begun closing highways so we are going to be here another night. Call us when you get this, your cell and the house phones are in our nightstand drawer."

She headed upstairs to her parents bedroom quickly, finding a nightstand drawer containing her cellphone and three house phones. There used to be four, but that's why they had been hidden, obviously. She picked up one of the phones to call her parents back. Assuring them that she would be fine.

When she hung up she grabbed her cell phone. The battery was dead but she thought of the blinking LED light that she had seen Saturday night. The charger was still attached to her bedroom wall and as she plugged it she began to pace, waiting impatiently for it to turn on. When it finally did the notifications appeared.

**is everything okay? Call me. I miss you already. 3 Em**

She set the phone down quickly after she had read the message too many times to count. She could imagine the pain in Emily's mind as she had typed those words and she could imagine it clearly because she had seen that pain in her this morning. Even though she had done her best to rip it from her body, to replace it with anything was still there. In the flicker of her eyes as she wrapped the scarf around her neck. The pain that she was to blame for. She ran her fingers absent-mindedly across the velvet. She picked her phone back up and composed a message to Emily.

**meet me in the moonlight. 3"**

Then she waited. Minutes ticked by slowly before her phone chimed.


She smiled as she left her room for the stairs, and glided out the front door. The day was sunny and warm with just a slight cool breeze. She looked to the north towards Scranton and could see the darkened clouds hanging over the horizon. No doubt the storm her folks were referring to.

She reached the woods first, sitting on the edge of the rocks to wait. Wondering if Emily had even understood her message. After a few minutes footsteps sounded behind her making her turn. Emily approached, carrying her bag over her shoulder she sunk to the ground beside her.

"Are your parents back yet?" Emily asked.

"No, there's a storm coming in so they're staying another night." She said looking over at her face, watching as she stared down into the water. Something was off about the way she watched it. Like the way the storm brewed in the distance, a new storm was forming behind her eyes.

"It looks so much different here doesn't it." Emily whispered, not breaking her gaze from below. Paige shrugged.

"I don't know...I guess I just see that night too clearly to let time change the image."

Emily just nodded. She sat quietly for what seemed like hours, just listening to Emily breathe and watching the water reflecting off her skin. Uneasy about why she didn't speak. When she moved, Paige had to do a double take to make sure she was really seeing the movement. But she did. Emily stood from the rocks beside her. Pulling her jacket off and dropping it to the ground.

"Wha...what are you doing?" She asked. Emily gave her a reassuring look as she kicked off her shoes. "Are you crazy? The water is probably freezing now." Her face showed the shock that she was feeling but Emily ignored in. She stripped until she stood before her in nothing but the blue lace.

"Stay here." She said firmly. Then she jumped, leaving Paige gawking after her.

She watched Emily hit the water and disappear below the surface, holding her breath as she waited for her to resurface. But she didn't. She ticked the seconds off in her head, 15 to be exact, before she peeled her jacket and scarf off and slipped from her shoes. Panic kicked in, and as she hit 30 seconds she jumped, not bothering to remove her jeans or shirt.

The cold water closed around her as she kicked her body down. She looked around, forcing her eyes to focus through the water. Then she spotted her, a few feet away clinging to a large rock on the bottom. Her pulse hammered in her ears. A pain and fear appearing far greater than any she had felt before.

She kicked her body into movement, reaching and clasping her arm around Emily's wrist. Emily pulled her arm away, returning her hold onto the rock. Her chest tightened as she saw Emily attempting to shut her out. A spark turning into an inferno of determination in her veins. She reached again, this time locking her arms around her waist and tearing Emily away from the rock, kicking their bodies towards the surface. They gasped as they broke through the water, choking on the burn in their lungs.

"What the hell are you doing?" Paige snapped, tears streaming hot down her face. The fear and confusion she felt in her body was ruthless and paralyzing.

Emily just groaned, turning her back away and swimming to the edge. She swam after her, pulling herself up out of the water just as Emily was turning on her. She recoiled at the anger and pain in her eyes as Emily snapped.

"Was that scary enough for you? Because it terrified me." Her voice cracked as she tried to stay strong. "What you just did...jumping in after've denied me that chance every time you've done this to yourself." Tears began falling as she spoke, the pain in her eyes cutting into her like a knife and forcing the air from her lungs. She couldn't breathe watching Emily fall apart, knowing that it was her fault.

"Do you get it now? If you love me, you have to promise me that you won't do this anymore and you have to mean it." Emily pleaded.

"I promise." She said automatically. No doubt in her mind and no reason to hesitate. Suddenly realizing how stupid and childish and it was and how it had gotten her nowhere. Maybe she had known that before, but seeing Emily clinging to that rock shook everything inside of her. Suddenly she was seeing what Emily saw...and she hated it.

Emily nodded soundly then moved to the pile of clothing on the ground, stripping herself of the wet lace and tucking them into her bag before pulling her clothes back on. Paige followed her lead quietly, slipping into her jacket and shoes, before turning to her.


"Don't." She whispered softly stepping closer and wrapping the red velvet back around her neck. "Just don't break your promise."

Paige held her hand tightly as she led the way. She could feel Paige glancing over every now and then but she kept there eyes to the ground. She had to be angry with her for what she had done. Maybe it was too much, maybe she could have just asked her to stop diving without going to such extremes to prove a point, but in the moment, it had felt like the only way. Though it didn't make it any less painful knowing that she had picked out Paige's biggest weakness and used it against her, and it wasn't the only thing that was bothering her.

The silence was deafening as Paige pulled her up the stairs to her bedroom. Emily hadn't been here before and she began to panic as she stared around the room. The walls were a light blue, with one accent wall in a darker shade. Other than the color it was very similar to her own. Various ribbons and trophies scattered her dresser with other small knick-knacks. Her eyes fell on a hole through the dry wall.

"What happened there?" She asked. Paige followed her gaze and sighed.

"A baseball...when you showed up Monday morning. I wanted to see you but..."

"I know you did." Emily nodded softly. She remembered hearing the thud upstairs as Mr. McCullers had turned her away. Paige looked away uncomfortably and walked over to her dresser, where she began peeling the wet jeans and shirt from her body. Emily turned her back away from her, letting her eyes rest on her bed across the room and the deep red blanket that clung to it. The difference in their rooms became startling. While hers was soft and girlie, Paige's room was rich and beautiful. Bold artsy colors mixed with soft fabrics. She inched forward, grabbing a soft white cashmere blanket that was draped over the end. Then she turned back to Paige and walked up behind her, wrapping it around her bare skin. She tensed beneath her touch.

"Emily, I'm sorry..." Paige whispered. Her words grazed upon the crawling sensation beneath her skin, punching into her stomach and bringing light to something else. She turned away quickly, walking back to the bed and sitting down on the edge.

"Paige, that's the second time you've apologized to me today. I understand your need to do it now but...this morning you weren't really apologizing for.." Her cheeks flushed lightly as she trailed off, remembering how Paige had sent her body over the edge twice, and so quickly. Paige sighed as she caught on to what she was referring to. She moved forward and sat down slowly beside her, clutching the blanket around her body.

"No, I wasn't apologizing for that. How could I?" Emily swallowed hard bracing herself for what was coming and telling herself that she didn't know what that was. She asked anyways.

"Then what?" she pressed. Her voice worried and edged. From the unphased look on Paige's face she could tell she had expected this tone from her. That she deserved it even. She struggled with her focus, making her words come out much softer as she spoke again.

"I want you to be honest with me?" She whispered

"It was the way that you reacted to it. You were shaking and crying and I've seen you cry too much lately." Paige closed her eyes to focus.

"Paige, what do you mean? I was happy..." she whispered.

"I mean I'm hurting you. I can see the pain in your eyes when I touch you now. That's not fair, Em. It's not fair that you feel that way when we're...together. Its wrong."

She closed her eyes, to form the right words as carefully as possible. To hide the pain she felt from hearing the word 'wrong' being applied to them being together. But she couldn't. She had called Paige out with the water stunt and now she felt completely exposed and she deserved this. What Paige said was true but not in the way she was thinking. There was pain there. Every time Paige touched her now, there was pain.

"You're right." She kept her voice a soft whisper. "..but not for the reasons you think. If you think that I can't see your pain too, then your wrong. You're not hurting me're hurting yourself and that's the pain you're seeing. You see it more now because you know me better and because I let you see it but you work so hard to keep me from seeing you. You hide things from me because you're too scared to trust in me and let me be there for you." She gasped taking a sharp breath into her lungs.

Moments passed as she watched Paige process her words. They came out in a whisper, pain and disgust heavy on her face. The most she had ever let her see before.

"That day that I held you under the water..." She choked. "I went home and made myself forget about every practiced dive into the pool because...I really wasn't planning on breathing again. I had hurt you and I made the decision not to allow myself to do that again."

And there went her heart beat again, disappearing just as fast as it had returned. She forced herself not to speak. Afterall, she wanted this. She wanted Paige to trust her and turn to her.

"I couldn't do it...I couldn't leave you that way. I barely knew you and already I had made you hate me but I couldn't just leave you angry and hurt. I couldn't make things easier for myself. I had to make things right."

"I never hated you Paige." She whispered, reaching for her hand but stopping short, letting her hand fall to space between them instead.

"I know that now...because that's not the kind of person you are. But I hated myself. Even more now because I can't seem to make myself understand that you're really here and that I have everything I wanted. I love you but I hate myself for hurting you and I don't know how to stop."

Emily stood from the bed. Enough was enough and there was no hiding the frustration in her voice now.

"Paige, I'm responsible for every time you've held yourself under that water and you think you're the one hurting me? God, you should hear yourself..."

"I want you to read it." Paige whispered. Emily's words cut off in confusion.

"What?" She asked. Paige sighed heavily.

"The letter, Em. I want you to read it." Emily shook her head instantly.

"No! No...Alison doesn't get to win thi.."

"I didn't write it for Alison, Em. I wrote it for you. Alison gave me the fake letter but the one I wrote was for you. Regardless of what she said because... I meant everything that I said. You want me to be honest with you? Then read it."

She stared at Paige for a moment in shock. She had begun to open that letter hundreds of times before but she had stopped herself every time. It never felt right. It still didn't. Like the ultimate invasion of privacy even though it had been written for her. Nothing inside that letter would make her feel anything but anger towards Alison for the time she may have lost with Paige, had she known sooner.

"No." She said stubbornly. "No, I'm not reading it." She could see how much that wounded Paige, in the way her chin began to quiver and her eyes glistened. It didn't matter. "I don't want to read how you felt about me back then. I want you to tell me how you feel now."

"Its so much stronger now." Paige whispered.

"Then tell me." She pleaded. Paige kept her eyes away, lost in a distance that terrified her.

Emily moved to the bed, pushing her onto her back and capturing Paige's lips in hers. Soothing the tremble that had started there. Paige moaned against her mouth as she broke away.

"Tell me." She whispered. Sucking lightly on her bottom lip until she gasped. "Tell me, Paige." She moved to her top lip, sucking it harder. Paige caught on quickly.

"You're beautiful." She whispered.

Emily pushed her tongue past her lips, coaxing a moan from her throat before pulling back.

"I don't want to hurt you."

Emily moved to her jaw, licking lightly from her chin to her earlobe. Paige gasped.

"I want you to know me."

Her eyes stung as she nipped on Paige's ear.

"I can't breathe without you."

She moved down to her neck, sucking softly and smiling to herself when Paige's breath hitched in her throat. It seemed she couldn't breathe with her either.

"I love hearing you laugh."

Emily chuckled lightly against her collar-bone as she tugged the blanket away.

"I'm never going to feel good enough for you."

Emily stopped short for a moment at how close those words hit to home. But she quickly recovered, tracing her tongue around her nipple. The truth was, she felt the same way about Paige.

"I'm never going to stop trying to make you happy."

She licked the flesh below her rib cage. Paige ran her fingers into Emily's hair, alternating between soft strokes and light tugs. Her stomach jumped, quickening her pulse.

"I'll never leave you again."

She kissed her belly button. Paige tightened her grip for a split second and then relaxed. Her breath quickening with each touch.

"I'm never going to stop protecting you."

She sucked lightly on Paige's hip bone as her body began to tremble beneath her.

"It may not be easy for me to always tell you, but I promise I'll try." Her body tensed as she sucked her stomach in.

She nipped at the crease of her thigh. Paige moaned, unable to keep her hips from lifting eagerly to meet her. Her head spun so much that the next words left her automatically without second thought in her mind.

"I love you and I want you to keep my name." Paige gasped, twisting her fingers into the sheets of the bed.

Emily's heart started again. Her breath faltered for just a moment before she brought her lips down, kissing her deeper than she ever had. She reached her arm up, twisting her fingers into Paige's hand and holding tightly to her as she had the night they sat on the window bench together. That night seemed so long ago and yet the truth had always been the same. They needed each other more than oxygen in their lungs and they'd never stop trying to prove that. It might be hard sometimes and not always come easily, but nothing came easy when they were apart and that left only one option.

Emily flicked her tongue as she sent Paige crashing over the edge to a place where only one thing mattered and only one thing was certain. She loved her.

"Look After You" The Fray (Emily's POV) *I do not own these lyrics*

If I don't say this now I will surely break

As I'm leaving the one I want to take

Forget the urgency but hurry up and wait

My heart has started to separate

Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Be my baby

Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh Be my baby

I'll look after you

There now, steady love, so few come and don't go

Will you, won't you be the one I'll always know?

When I'm losing my control, the city spins around

You're the only one who knows, you slow it down

Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Be my baby

Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh

Oh, oh, oh Be my baby

I'll look after you

And I'll look after you

If ever there was a doubt

My love she leans into me

This most assuredly counts

She says most assuredly

Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Be my baby

I'll look after you (After you)

Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Be my baby Oh, oh, oh

It's always have and never hold

You've begun to feel like home

What's mine is yours to leave or take

What's mine is yours to make your own Oh, oh, oh Oh, oh, oh Be my baby Oh, oh, oh

"Be The One" The Fray (Paige's POV) *I do not own these lyrics*

They're two lovers in the night

Waiting on the sun to rise

Passing ships into the night

Under different skies
But you just whisper what you said

One last time

I could have sworn I heard you say

That you are mine

Faded flowers in your hand

The best that I could do

It's the only way I've had

Of reaching you
I never saw it like you did

Didn't know that it was there

You don't see it in your hand

It's in the air

Be the one and only, wait for me

Will you be the only one

Will you be, be the one and only

Wait for me, will you be the only one

What if I knew how to yell

What would I pray

What if I knew how to tell

What would I say
I will be the only one

If you say you'll never go

I'll be screaming out your name

From the back row

Be the one and only, wait for me

Will you be the only one

Will you be, be the one and only

Wait for me; let me be your only one

Be the one, be the one and only

Wait for me; let me be your only one

Will you be, be the one and only

Wait for me; let me be your only one

"Marry Me" Train (PAILY) *I do not own these lyrics*

Forever can never be long enough for me

To feel like I've had long enough with you

Forget the world now we won't let them see

But there's one thing left to do
Now that the weight has lifted

Love has surely shifted my way

Marry Me

Today and every day

Marry Me If

I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe

Say you will Mm-hmm

Say you will Mm-hmm

Together can never be close enough for me

Feel like I am close enough to you

You wear white and I'll wear out the words I love you

And you're beautiful

Now that the wait is over

And love and has finally shown her my way

Marry me

Today and every day

Marry me

If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe

Say you will Mm-hmm

Say you will Mm-hmm

Promise me

You'll always be Happy by my side

I promise to

Sing to you When all the music dies

And marry me

Today and everyday

Marry me

If I ever get the nerve to say "Hello" in this cafe

Say you will Mm-hmm

Say you will Mm-hmm

Marry me Mm-hmm