AN: Watch out! I'm back. I know it been a long while, but it's just been life. I will try to write my back log of stories, but I feel weirdly like a boring adult with a consuming stupid job and nothing else. I hate retail, but it pays my bills. I am surprised, but I would rather be back to massive amounts of homework in college than doing real-world work. All you student kiddies being corrupted on this site better thank your stars and enjoy yourself now, because like they say, the real world sucks.
AN1: Sorry for that rant, but whatever. This is a little one-shot that I am actually writing on my tablet, so let me know what you think later. Thanks. Now on with the show.
AN2: BTW, I will be mentioning facts from different episodes; I really have no clue the canon order right now, so I might be pulling from different seasons, but just have fun reading.
Disclaimer- I do not own BBT. Don't know who does, but it isn't me. Also, I do not own any of the stores/business I mention in this story...some stock, yes, but who cares?
She knew that it was impossible.
Last year she didn't really have any trouble finding his gift—it kind of fell right into her lap...from another person's lap, really—but, now!
She suddenly realizes Sheldon's theory about the valuation of presents has some credence. She wanted to top her gift last year to him, to show how much she valued the growth in their relationship. While he might not see it, she did. Though they still got into big arguments, he had really become someone she started to rely on, trust, and be happy with. He didn't just peg her as a ditzy waitress-actress wannabe, but a girl, a comrade, and a friend.
She wanted to show how much his support in her penny blossom business, his support in giving her money to catch up on bills, and his support in her life in general meant to her.
Wow...if only her friends back in Nebraska could see how sappy she had become, especially over what they would call a super-geek, she would be the laughing stock of her old click. She tilted her head in surprise then, when she realized she could really care less.
Wait. What had she been doing again?
Ohh. yeah. Picking out a present to top her Spock DNA-laced napkin from last year. FOCUS!
She had hit all the stores he would love. She got gawked at at the comic book shop. AGAIN. She got gawked-a little less at-in Radio Shack. She got uncomfortably and-in-wayyy-too-close-proximity-to-her-persons hit-on at the Apple Store by some pimply jailbait. I really want to check myself in the mirror, though they say it's because I'm hot, their stares make me feel like a two-headed freak. Though on second thought, they probably wouldn't have stared at all at that...geeks.
Some of Sheldon did rub off on her, not only in her increasing vocabulary, but also scheduling. After searching for weeks, and fighting crowds on Black Friday (because the deals were so awesome. She considered it like her Superbowl, and her Nebraskan roots help her here too. Black eyes weren't nothing to give!), she saw the perfect gift for Sheldon weeks before Christmas.
While she was finally ecstatic she found the perfect gift to embody the changes in their relationship, she wasn't happy at the cost. Luckily through her Penny Blossom business and saving her tips, she was actually able to afford it outright. While her booze fund took that hit, she gleefully grabbed the bag and her receipt, and headed home.
Most of the gifts had been given to the gang. Of course, Howards' had been given before since his mother had him locked up for the 'holiday,' though Penny didn't think being locked in the house with Mrs. Wolowitz for over a week counted as a holiday. Neither did Howard. Raj's were given ahead of time as well, so that just left Penny, Leonard, and Sheldon again.
The situation was a little festive, with her making them matching hats. The festiveness really didn't even change when Sheldon said the hat made Leonard look even more like an elf and he shouldn't wear it out at that time of year or the kids might chase him for 'presents.' And after that little hissyfit between her boys, Penny finally was finally able to give out her last two presents.
Her gift to Leonard was a simple piece of paper in a card. She saw his look of confusion, but she got distracted by Sheldon opening his present.
The look on his face was nearly as priceless as the year before.
"I cannot believe this! Where did you get it?!" Sheldon uncharacteristically exclaimed.
"Oh... just somewhere. Do you like it? They said it was a limited edition."
His huffs in near-panic to open it but with manners as his Southern mother taught him was enough to let her know that he did like it...a lot.
"Of course, I like it. It is the limited edition Xbox 360 Silver-R2D2 StarWars Kinect XBOX 360 bundle with a 320 GB hard drive..." Penny tuned him out as he recited all of the information off the box and what he had read on the internet before its release just one month before.
Penny was about to say something else, when Leonard jealously piped up, "Penny, why did he get that and I get this lousy piece of paper?"
"Watch it, Leonard. For your information that 'lousy piece of paper' has the number of a tiny little Asian woman banker, who likes small smart white guys," She glared until the idea passed through the green haze and registered in so-called intelligent mind. She saw when it finally hit home, and she hoped that his crush on her was obliterated by its impact.
The little elf wannabe lit up like it really was Christmas morning in pervert world, and thanked her before going to start his new obsession by googling this hot Asian women from her phone number alone.
Well, I'm glad that Rei likes slightly weird little white men. It's amazing who you meet who want to buy little flowers with pennies, though I still don't know how they work with her black leather bodysuit...oh well, I wonder what Leonard will think of Rei's little kink surprise...Penny starts to chuckle evilly and smirk at Leonard's back. She is brought back by a slight clearing of Sheldon's throat.
When she looks to him, he, as Sheldon is, starts in on the questions. Did you get the warranty? Did you register the serial number already? Do you want to play a game?
Penny was surprised that he didn't ask any more technical questions, but then again he probably knows most everything technical about it already.
Sheldon and Penny get so caught up setting up the system, the XBOX Live account transfer, and playing a smashingly fast game of Halo, that the very happy Penny forgot about her present from Sheldon until he suddenly paused the game mid-assault to look horror-struck at the television.
"Oh no, Penny. I forgot to give you your present!" he exclaimed as he shot from his seat, every fiber of his being demanding him to fix the social convention he broke in his excitement. Penny put down her controller to wait for that massive onslaught of something similar to lotion baskets like last year. Because, frankly, men were not terrible creative in giving gifts to women. While she did look forward to his present, she was happy to get to near the level of awesomeness of her present last year with giving him the console.
So, while expecting Sheldon to come out of his room with armful of baskets, she was as surprised as Leonard was as hers when she was given a small card.
However, her surprise soon changed to rivals Sheldon's excitement of getting his beloved napkin.
"A $2,000 gift card to the Shoe Dazzle's website?!" Penny nearly started to hyperventilate. "This is too much, Sheldon."
"Please, take it. Between this present and the DNA you got for me last year, I can say that both my scientific and base needs have been exceedingly met. So, this is just a small thank you...as per the friendship social convention, of course'" Sheldon concluded.
She looked up at him and smiled in understanding.
After a brief warm moment where we could almost glimpse a shipper's gleeful potential romantic moment, they both snapped out of it simultaneously and looked away from each other. Sheldon started again, by saying "well, now that the annual gift giving is over, how about we restart the battle and I can show you and your Nebraskan man hands that the Force and I can kill you so many times that even Darth Vader's head will spin, so to say."
That broke Penny out of the spell, and her eyes took on that gleam that had Sheldon briefly crouching to protect himself. In her spitfire voice Sheldon liked so much, she replied, "You're on."
After sitting in their designated spots, still ignoring Leonard who was clacking away creepily on his laptop, they started the game again. After beating him, and letting him beat her since it was Christmas after all, she decided to head back to her apartment with her gifts safely stowed away for future use. As she left, she saw Sheldon start to carefully and methodically put the console's extras away, and she knew that her journey for Sheldon's present had come full circle and was over.
As she closed the door and walked across the hallway, she smirked. For she knew now, just like at the beginning of her search, that it was impossible to top her inadvertently amazing gift from last year for him, but it wasn't impossible to capture her goal of encompassing their changing relationship and its defining moments in one present—and she succeeded. Everything was in that present. The good—his presence being a grounding force in her life like the Force itself. The learning—her learning about some of his favorite things like StarWars and videogames, and that she enjoyed some of it. And, probably the most sneakiest thing and most fitting of their relationship—the bad. The bad being the clashing of personalities they had that lead to her panties being on a telephone wire and other epic fights. Which was the sole cause of her smirk, because that was what had made this present top the DNA napkin in her eyes, for it was represented in the fact that the aloof and hypercritical Dr. Sheldon Cooper was immensely enjoying something bought at the local Wal-Mart.
She continued to chuckle as she closed her door, and would smile every time they played Halo, for she really knew now the role of great power and responsibility, especially trying to responsibly keep the knowledge that she, a "menial waitress," had the power and got one over on Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
And the Christmas gift was given.
AN3: It was a bit crack-y and ramble-y. But it's alright considering I wrote the whole thing minus some spell checking in 4 hours on my small tablet and late at night. I do not know why, but that seems to be my time to write…weird.