A/N: This was my entry into the Taste of the Forbidden contest. Hope you enjoy it...
Disclaimer: Sadly, I don't own Twilight, I just play with Stephenie Meyer's characters and make them act out all the naughty fantasies bouncing around in my head.
"Edward," she whispers to me, her voice laced with a nervous tension. "I…I'm pregnant."
Bella's words hang in the air. I don't quite know how to respond. I can't have this happen. Men like me…men who hold the position I do…don't have this happen.
"Well…I should offer my congratulations to you and your husband Mrs. McCarty." There…maybe the baby is Emmett's, and she'll confirm it and then there will be nothing to worry about.
"Cut the crap Edward," she hisses at me. "You haven't called me Mrs. McCarty for months now, and you know full well this baby isn't Emmett's. The doctor said I'm between eight and ten weeks along, and you and I both know if we count back on the calendar that Emmett was on that business trip at that time. Besides…I haven't slept with him in almost six months."
I sigh and lean my head back against the wall. I knew better than to think it could have been Emmett's child. I guess I was still praying for a miracle though.
"What do you plan on doing Bella?"
She's quiet for a moment, and I'm almost positive she is crying. It's times like these that I hate my job. The screen between Bella and I not allowing me to really see her…preventing me from reaching out and holding her and comforting her and telling her that everything will be alright, even though I'm not certain of that fact myself.
"I uh…I don't really know," Bella replies. "I thought we could figure it out together Edward. You've said that you love me. I need to know if you love me enough to help me through this. Emmett isn't stupid. He'll know the baby isn't his and I think he's already suspecting I'm seeing someone. Can…can we meet up later? Try to figure this all out?"
"Yes," I answer, my throat suddenly dry as I try to swallow the reality of the situation I'm facing. "I'll call you later when it's okay for you to come over."
I hear the movement on the other side of the divider as Bella goes to leave, and I can't help it…maybe because it's been ingrained in me after all these years, but I stop her to tell her one final thing.
"Bella..." I call out, and I can hear her stop her movement.
"Go with God," I say softly as I make the sign of the cross with my hand.
She doesn't reply as she leaves, closing the door to the penitent's side of the confessional.
A few moments later, I hear someone else enter.
"Forgive me Father, for I have sinned…" they begin, and I remind myself that I need to focus on what I'm supposed to be doing right now, all the while though, I can't help but start a countdown until later when I can see Bella again so we can figure everything out…so I can figure out how to process the knowledge that I, Father Edward Cullen have managed to get one of my married parishioners pregnant.
It's an hour later when I finally make my way to the parish offices, nodding at my secretary as I head into my own office, shutting and locking the door behind me. I had hoped that once I was in here I would have time alone to think, but the fact remains that it's impossible for me to think clearly in here, there are too many memories within these walls since this is where it all began…
I was sitting in my office waiting for my next appointment to arrive. The parish had posted a need for a new Director of Religious Education in its weekly bulletin, and one of our regular parishioners had replied…Mrs. Isabella McCarty. Seeing the name, I had to remind myself to keep myself in check while she was here. Mrs. McCarty and her husband were relatively new to the parish, having relocated here at the beginning of the school year when she was hired as the principal of St. Matthew's, the elementary school affiliated with our parish.
It probably wasn't a good idea for me to be entertaining the idea of choosing Mrs. McCarty as our new religious education director. Truth be told, I felt drawn to her…physically. I may be a priest, but I'm not a saint, and no matter how much I tried to control my urges, I found her starring in my fantasies and dreams more times than I could count.
The buzzing of the intercom brings me out of my thoughts as my secretary lets me know that Mrs. McCarty is here for her appointment. I move from behind my desk to greet her, and as soon as see her my heart stops in my chest. She looks absolutely gorgeous., and I can't help but stare at the small bit of flesh that peeks out from where the top two buttons of her blouse remain undone. My mind starts wandering to what lies beneath the lavender fabric that is currently covering her body. "Hello Father Cullen, it's good to see you," she says as we head back into my office, effectively snapping me out of my daydream."Yes, it's good to see you too Mrs. McCarty," I reply as I move back behind my desk and watch her sit down, my gaze instantly drawn to her legs as she crosses them. The skirt she's wearing hits at the knees, and I can't help but wonder what it would feel like to run my hands up her legs.
"Please, call me Bella."
"Okay then, Bella," I say as I clear my throat in an attempt to keep myself grounded. Something about saying her name just seems so intimate and personal. I don't know what it is about this woman, but she's affected me like none other ever has. Being a priest doesn't turn off a man's natural desires, and sure I've come across and noticed beautiful women in the past, but never before have I ever been this entranced by one. It's just utterly inexplicable to me.
"So, you said you were interested in helping out with the religious education program?"
"Yes. I saw that you needed a new director, and, given my profession, I thought I could be of help."
We continued talking for a while, discussing the program and what her responsibilities would be as director. As we spoke, I couldn't help but notice the way she would look at me, her eyes traveling the length of my body, occasionally focusing on my lips. It made me wonder if this woman felt the same attraction to me that I had felt towards her.
Eventually, our conversation shifted towards more everyday topics, and before I knew it, Bella and I were talking as if we had known each other forever. It was only when my intercom buzzed and my secretary reminded me that my next appointment would be here in about fifteen minutes that our little bubble burst. For the first time in a long time, I felt normal. Being a priest makes people look at you and treat you differently, but Bella…she didn't. She made me feel like a regular guy again, like I was just Edward and not Father Cullen.
Bella gathered her things and agreed to set up another appointment with my secretary so we could continue planning out the religious ed program before heading towards my office door. I followed her, grabbing on to the door knob. Everything happened quickly after that. Maybe I didn't realize just how close I was to her, or maybe Bella just wanted it as much as I did, but before I knew it, my mouth was on hers, kissing her deeply.
My hand fell away from the door handle, finding purchase on Bella's hip and pulling her flush against me. It was as if her body melted into mine, and the small whimpers that escaped her only served to make to bulge within my pants all the more noticeable. Her hips thrust forward, causing her center to rub against mine.
I don't quite know how long we stood there kissing, but it was the incessant buzz of the intercom again that pulled us apart. The both of us stood there, panting as we tried to catch our breath. It seemed though, that the intercom brought Bella back to reality relatively quickly though, as her face reddened and she tried to hide from me.
"Bella, please don't hide from me. What just happened…it would be a lie for me to say I didn't want it," I explained.
"But…" she started. "You're a priest. I'm married. It…it's wrong."
"Do you love your husband Bella? Do you truly love him? Think about that and then ask yourself if you would have kissed me if you did. As for me being a priest…that title doesn't magically shut off my desires and wants. I've wanted you Bella, since the first day I saw you sitting in one of the pews at mass, and I dare say that I think you want me too. I saw the way you looked at me earlier. Come back and see me later, we can talk this out. My secretary leaves at four."
"I…" she trailed off.
"Just think about what I asked you and decide if you want to come back later this afternoon. I'll be here. I hope you'll decide to join me."
With that, I opened the door for her and bid her goodbye before settling in back into my office to wait for my next appointment, all the while hoping that Bella would return to me later.
Sitting at my desk now, I can't help but stare at that door and wonder how differently things could have been had I been faithful to my vows as a priest and controlled myself. Then again, there's nothing that would cause me to regret falling in love with Bella. I already knew the choice I would have to make, and for me, I realize now that the decision was simple. I had always thought that my calling in life resided within the confines of the priesthood, but falling in love with Bella opened up a world of possibilities to me. If she wanted me to, I'd have no problem walking away from the priesthood to be with her, to be a father to our child.
As I sat and stared at my desk, I couldn't help but wonder if that was where our child was conceived. It might not be romantic, but it would be fitting seeing as this office, my desk was where our relationship was first consummated…
I couldn't help but stare at the clock on the wall. 4:37. My secretary had already gone home, and I was still sitting here hoping Bella would show up again. I thought about what we had done, what we both had said earlier, and as wrong as I knew it to be, I couldn't walk away. I wanted her, more than I had ever wanted anything in my life, and that fact alone made it easy to ignore the vow of chastity that I had taken.
I was almost ready to give up, accept that she wouldn't show. The clock read 4:42 when I heard it. A faint knocking on the door. Opening it up, I found Bella on the other side. She walked in past me and headed straight for one of the chairs near my desk.
"I shouldn't be here," she says. "What we did before was wrong, I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't be thinking of all the ways I want you…but I can't stop thinking about you."
"It's not just you Bella," I reply, making my way towards Bella and taking the seat next to hers. "I want you just as badly. I've wanted you for a while now. I need to know though…what about your marriage? Do you love your husband?"
The look in Bella's eyes is one of hunger, and is almost feral. I can't pull my gaze away from her as I watch her every move.
"Yes, I do love Emmett, but not the way a wife should love a husband. I did truly love him once, or at least I think I did. Our marriage was one of convenience, at least for me. We dated all through high school, I was too afraid of being alone so when he proposed I said yes. He had been accepted to a good college, I knew he would be able to provide a good life to me. It was easy to go along with things. He's my best friend, but he's not my soul mate. I never truly felt that spark with him."
Bella continues to talk as she gets out of her seat and make her way to me, straddling herself on top of me.
"I feel that spark with you Father Cullen. That kiss earlier…you made me feel alive. I felt wanted and I felt a sense of desire I hadn't felt in a long, long time."
Her words are punctuated by her movements, her hips gyrating as she grinds herself against me as she speaks, fueling my own desires.
"Ed-Edward," I say to her, my mouth suddenly dry and my head quickly getting hazy as I try to think and process what was happening.
"My name," I explain. "My first name is Edward, call me that…not Father Cullen."
"Mmm, Edward," she moans as she undoes the buttons on her blouse, exposing her lace clad breasts to me.
"I need you Edward."
Her hands grab hold of mine and placed them on her newly exposed flesh, and as soon as they make contact, it's as if a switch flipped within me, freeing the beast I had long ago grown tired of keeping caged.
My hands massage her breasts as I pulled her bra down. As soon as they are fully exposed, my mouth finds its way to her nipples, sucking first the one and then the other into my mouth. My tongue drawing circles around them as I bite down, causing her to moan louder as her hips continue to buck against me and her hands make quick work of ridding me of my shirt.
I can't take our confined position any longer, and wrap my arms around Bella as I picked her up and lay her on my desk. As she lays before me, my fingers trace their way up her legs, sliding her skirt further and further up until I reach the apex of her thighs, and where I had expected to find her wearing panties, I found none, and am greeted only by her already dripping pussy.
"Fuck, Bella…such a naughty girl, not wearing any panties," I growl out. It may have been some time since my last sexual encounter back in my college days, but the dirty talk and everything else seems to be coming back to me.
"I wasn't kidding when I said I wanted you Edward," she whispers as she sits up.
Her hands make their way to my belt, unbuckling it and undoing my pants. As my pants and boxers pool around my ankles, Bella slides down from the desk, pushing me backwards and she kneels before me, her hand stroking my throbbing shaft.
She leans forward, ready to wrap her lips around me, but stops mere centimeters from my cock and looks up at me.
"Forgive me Father, for I'm about to sin," she murmurs, and then takes me in her mouth.
I couldn't stop the groan that escapes me as I feel the warmth and wetness surrounding me as Bella's head moved up and down along my length. My hands weave their way into her hair, guiding her movements. Her tongue massages the underside of my shaft as her hands play with my balls, bringing my close to the edge of my release rather quickly.
The closer I get, the more my hips begin to thrust in an erratic pattern. My grip on Bella's hair tightens and as she moans and her tongue teases the head of my cock and sucks on it, I lose all control.
A white, blinding heat rips through my body as I come, releasing down her throat. I can feel Bella's throat contract as she swallows, sending shivers down my body.
Grabbing Bella by the arms, I pull her up off of her knees and kiss her before pushing her back down on the top of my desk.
"Now it's my turn," I growl out as I yank her skirt off of her in my desperation to taste her.
My eyes roam every inch of her body in an attempt to commit her beauty to memory, my hands pushing her legs open, leaving her spread before me. My fingers ghost up her legs and reaching her soaked core, begin to tease her as they circle her clit and slowly push their way inside her.
Leaning forward, I kiss my way along her inner thigh until I am hovering just above her pussy. My tongue darts out and licks along her slit causing Bella to moan and begin to writhe beneath me.
My fingers, coated in her juices plunge in and out of her as I suck, lick, and nibble on her clit. Bella's hands hold my head in place as her hips buck up uncontrollably.
"Oh God…fuuuck. Don't stop Edward, don't stop!" she begs.
Her pleas spurn me on, making me hard again as my fingers quicken their movements. I feel her walls begin to tighten, my eyes glancing up just in time to see her come apart. Her body spasms as she orgasms, making me desperate to be inside her, to feel her come like that around me.
I want to have the patience for her to come down from her release, but I can't wait.
"I'm sorry Bella," I murmur. "I can't wait any longer. I need to be inside you."
"Please Edward, I need you," she whimpers in reply as she tries to pull me closer to her.
I step forward, lining myself up with her entrance. The head of my cock teasing her for a moment before sliding inside.
"Shit Bella," I hiss as I settle in between her legs. "You feel so fucking good."
I don't move right away as I'm simply relishing the feeling of her wrapped around me.
"More Edward, please…I need you to move," she whispers as she thrusts her hips, causing me to shift within her.
The pleasure I feel coursing through me is almost more than I can bear, and I moan loudly as I begin to move.
My hands begin roaming every inch of Bella's skin I can reach as her hands find purchase on my arms and her legs wrap tightly around my waist. My head drops down close to her chest as my mouth begins to once again nibble at her breasts.
The slapping of skin, grunts and moans are all that can be heard as we fuck.
"Harder Edward, fuck me harder," she begs.
I'm more than happy to oblige, and quicken my pace, thrusting harder and faster than before. Bella's hips begin meeting mine thrust for thrust and in the process, we cause the desk to start to move from its place, my ceramic statue of the Blessed Virgin Mary toppling over in the process, leaving her beheaded and missing a hand on the floor.
"So close Edward," Bella whimpers, her nails digging into my arms, nearly drawing blood.
My hand trails down to where we're joined, my fingers teasing and rubbing her clit, and finally sending her screaming over the edge.
I feel her walls clamp down around my cock as she comes. I continue my thrusts and they become erratic as I finally reach my own release and spill my seed within her.
We lay joined together for a few moments after, and that's when I realize I want more of her, that one time with Bella would never be enough.
"I don't want to let you go Bella," I whisper to her.
"You kind of have to, I do need to go home at some point," she giggles, running her hands up and down my back.
"That's not what I mean Bella," I explain. "I don't want this…us…to be a one-time thing."
"Me either Edward…we'll figure something out," she answers.
We did figure something out. That first encounter between us led to countless others as we often met under the guise of various planning meetings for the parish's religious education program. We didn't fuck every time we met, there were times we slowly and gently made love, and other times where we just remained wrapped up in the other's arms as we got to know one another.
Somewhere, in the midst of it all, we both fell irrevocably in love, although neither of us knew what to do in our situation with me being a priest and Bella being married to Emmett. Regardless of what the situation was, Bella had quickly become my salvation. Before her my life was muted, boring and black and white, and now that Bella had come in to it, it was as if I was seeing the world in color for the first time.
For me, the answer to our situation was simple, I was ready and willing to give up my post to be with her. Now all that remained was to find out what she wanted. Not able to wait any longer, I send Bella a text, asking her to come see me at my office.
Bella shows up ten minutes later, her eyes red and puffy. Not caring who is around or sees, I pull her immediately into my arms, trying to soothe her and offer her what comfort I can.
"Shh Sweetheart, everything is going to be alright. We'll figure this all out together," I murmur into her ear.
"I told Emmett," she mumbles in between sniffles as I sit down and pull her into my lap.
"You told Emmett…" I trail off.
"Everything. I told him everything and said I wanted a divorce."
"How did he take it?" I ask nervously.
"He…he broke down sobbing. He was heartbroken Edward. He said he had his suspicions for a while now, but he thought I was seeing someone else. He never thought it was you. He begged me on his knees to stay with him, to try and make things work. He said he would love the baby as his own, that he would do anything to make me happy. I told him the only thing that would make me happy, that would really be fair to either of us would be for us to get divorced."
"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. I should have been there with you."
I am dying to know what he said in terms of the divorce, but not wanting to rush Bella, I just hold her, allowing her to tell me things in her own time.
"H-He agreed Edward, he agreed to the divorce. He said that all he ever wanted was for me to be happy, that he thought that he made me happy. But knowing that he doesn't, he wants to give me what will."
"Well, that's good," I reply.
"What about you Edward? Have you decided anything?"
I can see the fear in Bella's eyes that I'm going to abandon her and our child.
"Bella," I say softly, turning her so I can make sure she can see my eyes as I speak. "I did a lot of thinking. I know I didn't react in the best fashion this morning, but you caught me off guard. You were right though…I did tell you I wanted to be with you, because I do. You mean more to me than anything. I know it's not going to be an easy road, but I want us to be a family. I want to be a father to our child. If that means giving up the priesthood then so be it. I don't want a life where I can't have you."
Before I realize what's happening, Bella's mouth is on me, kissing me everywhere she can reach.
"Bella…" I trail off, trying to figure out if we should even be doing this with how high the emotions have been running lately.
"Please Edward, I need to feel you. I need you to make me feel okay again."
The need is evident in Bella's voice, and if I can give her this, then who am I to deny her.
Quickly, I undo my pants as Bella lifts up her skirt and rids herself of her panties. The small glimpses of her flesh enough to make me hard. She drops them to the floor as I pull her close to me again so that she sits straddled across me.
Slowly, she sinks down on my cock, burying her head into the crook of my neck as she does. Our mouths find their way to each other as Bella begins to rock against me. My hands roam across her body, caressing her as we move, allowing me to show her with my touch how much she means to me.
No words are spoken, our movements slow and gentle. My one hand dips between us, my fingers grazing Bella's clit as I finally pull my mouth away from hers.
"Do you feel that Bella," I ask as my finger lazily circles her nub. "Do you feel how hard you make me? Do you feel how right we are together? Can you feel just how much I love you?"
She begins whimpering as I continue my ministrations, my mouth reattaching to hers as I swallow the little moans escaping her.
We break apart when we need to breathe, our foreheads resting against each other's. Bella's breathing quickens and I can tell she's close.
"Let go for me Bella," I murmur.
I quicken my pace, and increase the pressure of my fingers on her clit, letting out a moan as Bella comes undone in my arms.
My hips thrust a few more times before my own release overtakes me.
Holding Bella close to me, I place gentle kisses along her neckline as we both calm down.
"Everything will be alright Bella," I promise her.
"I love you Edward," she replies.
"I love you too Bella. You're my everything. I thought I was happy with my life, but you showed me I was just going through the motions. You saved me in so many ways. You and our child…you're my salvation."