Pilot climbed the stairs towards their base rather carefully. Normally he would have spread out the arms and pretended to be a starting plane slowly gaining altitude while sprinting them up - but not this time.
He had just won second place in pokemon hunting, even without actually catching anything. Too bad that one Magneton had escaped in the last minute. But it was good to know that Snippy the stupid shoe had done even worse than that. The sneaky sniper hadn't even grasped the basic concept of catching something and had shot his prey instead.
Captain had declared that killing a pokemon was worth 50 points of demerit.
Snippy had protested, that this was a god damn, plain normal rat, which was meant for dinner.
Of course Captain had been horrified by the idea of eating a pokemon.
Snippy had pointed out, that they had rats for nearly every dinner for the last few years and asked, whether he was supposed to just throw away perfectly fine food now.
Captain had insisted on a funeral for the pokemon.
Now Snippy was forced to write and recite a funeral speech, while Pilot was allowed - as the second price - to take care of the incredible pokemon Captain had caught today.
Pilot would feed it and walk it and train it everyday, until it would finally evolve into something even more awesome and would be big enough to eat Mr. Snippy.
Pilot cast a very happy smile at the pokemon in it's confinement.
He finally reached the top floor of the building and... found the door to the base barred from inside.
Pilot pulled at the door and heard several chairs clatter around behind it.
"Open up shoes! In the name of the most glorious Captain!"
"Pilot? ... Wait, are you really Pilot? Can you prove it to me, that it is you?"
This question puzzled Pilot for a moment.
"Who else am I supposed to be you jiggly slug, I'm not Captain, Engie is you and I don't ever want to be Snippy! Let me in you useless shower sandal or I'll steal your nose and replace it with one of Snippy's socks!"
"... ... Okay, you're Pilot, no doubt! Thank god you're back!"
Furniture was hastily moved and Engie pulled the door open.
"Pilot! Somebody broke into our base, while we were out and... ... Is that a goldfish?"
Pilot lifted the big water filled jar up, so Engie was able to behold it's contents better.
"Not a goldfish you blindfish! Obviously that is a Goldeen! Captain caught it, and Snippy lost the game and...wait ...INTRUDERS?
The three 'intruders' were huddled together in their hideout, which was a huge cardboardbox with the words 'news redaction' scribbled on the side in bold letters.
#That cost me 50 years of battery life...#
+I knew my knowledge of attacks would come in handy one day! We escaped, 'cause it was super effective!+
*All you did was using your flashlight to blind the crawler worm for a few seconds!
God I swear I heard screws dissolving in it's digestion fluids, when it snapped at us! And why did green goggles throw a damn shoe? I mean a shoe?! What's wrong with that human?*
#Well, at least we're all intact and got away safely. Plus our trap is in place as well. All in all it was a complete success so far. Now all we have to do is sit back and wait.#
*Are you sure it will work? I mean... isn't that trap a bit too obvious?*
#Don't underestimate me, Mike! I had time to study the individual called Captain for a week after all. He will fall for it, definately!#
When Snippy returned to the base he encountered the very same problem Pilot had been confronted with earlier, the only difference was that instead of a few chairs now an oversized wardrobe, two tables and a sideboard were blocking the door.
"What is the secret password you shoe?"
"What the hell, Pilot? Let me in you moron! We don't have any secret passwords!"
"We have now! And if you don't know them, you are the enemy!"
"Bwah? Damn it open the door! At once!"
"No! You are a shoe and can't do anything about it!"
"Pilot, this isn't funny!"
"Password or stay out!"
Unfortunately this was the only way into the base. And Snippy realized that he had to change his tactics dealing with Pilot. If this door was still blocked, when Captain returned, their crazy commander would probably make Snippy balance over some ledge from window to window to get in. So how difficult could it possibly be to guess one of Pilot's passwords?
The sniper sighed.
" Okay,... Is it Captain?"
When Captain finally returned to his headquarters, Snippy had just arrived at 'Zooming Ardvark', mayor killing intent and a serious headache.
"What is this boobery minions? Playing guessing games without your Captain?"
"Ah Captain! 'Captain' is the right password!"
"Bwah?! That was the first one I tried you jerk!"
"Captain is obviously Captain's password only, you jiggly slug!" Pilot answered while clearing the door.
Snippy pushed angrily by him, and almost ran into Engie, who entered the room from the other side.
"The hell? You were here, too?"
"This is our base, where else should I be, Charles? Rather tell me where you have been all this time! What was keeping you?"
"What was...keeping me?"
Only a stern gaze from Captain prevented not one but two grizzly murders at this point.
Finally Engie spoke up:
"Seven, while I was out, looking for more parts a burglar broke in! You should see what that jerk did to my room!"
"Err... well that..." Snippy tried to interrupt but the engineer had gained so much momentum he just continued.
"He .. or they, probably there is a whole gang of them out there, ... they were in all of our rooms and pilfered through our stuff.
Snippy tried again: "Gromov, I need to tell you, that ..Wait what?"
"Minions, your Captain heard enough! We can't have intruders in the very heart of our military control center! So what did these ruthless foes of captania steal?"
"Um... actually ... that is the odd part..." The engineer glanced towards Captain's room.
"They left us a polaroid camera? Combs, hairbrushes, razors and a few bottles of shaving foam?
Are those guys trying to tell us something?" Snippy asked mildly amused when seeing this collection.
"Zis is a direct challenge!" Captain finally declared. He had been studying the piece of paper, that had been planted in his room. "But zey will regret zis impertinence!"
Snipp took a look at the offensive paper and facepalmed.
ARE YOU A WINNER?
DO YOU FEEL LUCKY?
ARE YOU ZEE MOST SEXIEST CAPTAIN OF THEM ALL?
THEN PROVE IT!
SHOW US YOUR (and your minion's) MOST RADIANT SMILE
AND WIN FABULOUS PIZES!
SEND YOUR PHOTOS TO "AWESOMEPRIZES 'R US" AND
RAKE IN THE SWEET SWAG!
(We don't accept photos with gasmasks or goggles!)
"Minions! We will search for zee sacred, secret graveyard of zee paperclips another day!" Captain took a sip of his tea.
"We have a contest to win! And you will look like zee most handsome and delicious minions any Captain ever had!"