Haruhi Suzumiya meets John Smith

By Henry J. Cobb

[The Haruhi Suzumiya characters and situations are the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. Other than that, he's blameless for the following.]

The earth shook again, and we barely kept our balance. We were out of time and I had to act now. I pulled in the hand she had a death grip on and placed my other hand on her shoulder to turn her away from the ruble of our town to face me. "Haruhi Suzumiya, look only at me and listen to my voice. I am John Smith."

"What? Are you mad Kyon? That can't be, it's. Well it's just impossible. It's, it's true isn't it?"

The next quake tossed me onto my back and because of our partial embrace she was pulled over on top of me. And then the world dissolved into nothingness.

I blinked and looked up at a familiar forest clearing. "So the cycle has repeated itself again?" I looked at her. "And you've returned to your original body, with feathers and everything."

"As have you, my love." She reached over and tugged at my beard.

"Wait. This time I remember everything!" I looked in her new/old eyes.

"And so do I. This is December 1607, in what will one day be the American state of Virginia."

I did a quick mental calculation. "That gives us 405 years until we hit December 2012 again. Do you think we can save the world this time?"

"Of course we can," Pocahontas stood then reached down to take and hold my hand as I got to my feet. She turned to me and said, "Now let's go find that damned spring of immortality." She lead me past the spears of her tribesmen, but none dared stop us.


Surely every American has reacted in the same way to the use of the alias.