Emma inhaled deeply and rolled her neck, hearing a satisfyingly sharp crack. She was feeling severely under qualified to be Sheriff of a magical land. Feeling out of her depth, and after another long, physically demanding day, she planted her ass down at the bar at Granny's like she was pulling into harbor and anchored herself to the stool. She gave Ruby a tired smile as a big frothy frosty mug of beer was placed before her.
Emma gratefully sipped her beer and thanked her lucky wish star that Regina hadn't dragged her along to yet another town meeting to discuss the direction and shifts in power. She heard a soft accented voice from her right, "I'll have a beer please."
Belle sidled up next to Emma, and mirrored her expression: resting her chin on her fist and looking off to Never-Neverland. Emma glanced over at the petite woman, noticing her chic bohemian style peasant blouse and pretty printed skirt.
"Ruby, hers is on me," Emma nodded toward Belle, watching as she took a much needed swig. She sat down the mug down splashing the head over the edge and wiped her lips.
"Thank you, Sheriff," Belle smiled and offered her hand.
"I guess we haven't officially met yet, but your um..Rumple's girl, right?" Emma had seen Mr. Gold and this mystery woman prancing arm and arm all over town. They were kind of a cute couple.
"Ha, yes. Rumple's girl," She repeated amused with turn of phrase. "And you are Emma: daughter of Snow White and Prince Charming, mother of Henry and savior to Queen Regina. Did I get that right?"
"More like Queen Regina's bitch," Emma said in a self-deprecating manner.
"Ah, but she's your true love, is she not?" Belle looked confused. She often looked confused.
The sigh Emma released seemed to bubble up from her soul. Belle nodded knowingly, "Do you find it as queer as I to be in love with someone who possesses great power and magic?"
"Sometimes it's great, but sometimes it can be rough, you know?" Emma raised her glass, finding she enjoyed speaking with this gentle girl.
"Cheers, Mate, thanks for the shout. I was afraid I'd be drinking with the flies tonight!" Belle raised her glass and clinked it to Emma's.
2 beers later…
"Babies? Well, Rumpy already has a son. Trouble is he's lost him," Belle seemed dejected. "Though, I would like one of my own. He does have a soft spot for children."
"Right," Emma coughed uncomfortably, "a soft spot."
"Are you going to have any more children, besides Henry?"
"Regina keeps hinting at it: trying to get me to drink these weird root potions to increase magical fertility, and I keep catching her reading these 'so you're trying to conceive a magic baby' self-help pamphlets. I think she wants me to bear her a whole batch of little fairy dusted little babies. I dunno though.
4 beers later…
Emma snorted and then she and Belle burst into another fit of raucous laughter. Belle patted merrily at Emma's back while she caught her breath, "so she managed to do that with a just a hairpin and an apple? I can't believe it!"
Emma nodded adamantly, unable to even remember what had started off their laughing jag.
"Can I ask you a personal question? Does Rumple ever make that high pitched manic squeal noise in the bedroom?" The words were out of Emma's mouth before she had a chance to realize she actually did not want to know.
Belle's cheeks grew pink as she considered her answer, "Only when he reaches climax."
Emma about spit beer from her nostrils; she raised her eyebrows as she willed the mental images that statement induced to leave her. She couldn't muster a response.
"What? He's a kind and generous lover," Belle defended as she took another sip of her pint and scrunched her forehead in thought. "My turn…what do you and Regina do in bed…exactly?"
"Hmm?" Emma blinked rapidly, and took a long drink to stall answering that question. Quid pro quo.
"I've been kind of...sheltered for a long time. I'm just curious," Belle looked at her with wide, open eyes.
"Um..let's just say we refer to our bedroom as 'the island of misfit sex toys'."
Belle started to giggle, her body shaking as she tried to suppress it. Emma couldn't stop herself from joining in.
6 beers in…
Emma smoothed another dollar out and crammed it into the touch tunes and cranked the volume, dancing her way back to over to the table. Belle leaned forward and they sang and laughed together:
You know, I wish that I had Rumple's girl, I wish that I had Rumple's girl. Where can I find a woman like that?
6 ½ beers in…
"Emma, watch me skull this beer!" Belle slurred as she tipped her head back and chugged the whole mug.
7 beers in…
Rumple and Regina teleported to Granny's frantic with concern. Belle was on the floor talking to a pepper shaker, while Emma was face down and drooling on the counter.
"Sorry, I should have stopped serving them awhile back," Ruby shrugged looking between the two drunken women.
"Thank you for alerting me to Emma's…condition," Regina spoke coolly, but the anger seethed behind her eyes.
"Belle? Let's go, my love," Rumple carefully helped Belle to her feet. She wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled him. He picked her up and carried her out, as she waved back sloppily, "Bye Emma!"
"Regina? gaga mocha choca latta.. ya ya?" Emma muttered incoherently as Regina hoisted an arm over her shoulder.
"Come on, dear. Let's get you to bed," Regina lugged her drunk, tired girlfriend out of the diner and into the car.
"Bedtime? So we can make bouncy frappy magical babies?" Emma promptly passed out.