I'm the worst updater EVER. I'm ashamed. Enjoy Japan's chapter anyway.
Also, I only put in Japan's accent when he sings. Just so you know.
More notes at the end.
ONWARD MES AMIS!
The large, spacious, and bright-from-the-giant-windows-lining-it conference room, which would usually be filled with angry, multi-accented shouts, was completely silent. Anticipation buzzed in the air as the eleven nations in the room sat staring at the large blank screen. Prussia had woken up from his frying-pan smack and was surprisingly silent in his chair well, not interrupting the tense air surrounding the nations.
Germany somehow managed to steal the remote from China without the older nation noticing and he pointed it ahead, hand shaking so much that it was pointing more towards the red walls than the screen.
"Just press play already bruder," Prussia whined, leaning his chair back so only two of the wooden legs were on the floor. Hungary snuck a foot around and kicked one of the legs out, causing him to crash to the ground. He was knocked out again.
Germany pressed play, and the nations all shifted slightly as they took in deep breaths, eyes of many colors widened at the screen.
The gray screen slowly came into color. Or maybe it just seemed slow.
Why am I so nervous?
Japan was standing there on the screen, looking just as he did everyday, but there was a small, pink-flower-patterned dixie cup in his hand. He was in the bright and spacious hotel lobby, and was perfectly calm. There was nothing in his dark eyes that showed insanity or anything of the like. In fact, he was speaking into his cell phone in his usual calm, polite voice.
"Oh, of course. I'll meet you at the airport in a taxi."
"I will see you in an hour."
Japan drank the rest of his dixie cup and got into a taxi, and the screen salt-and-peppered as he travelled.
Well, that's not good. He's going to loose his mind in the taxi if I can base anything off of the other nations.
The salt-and-peppering was taking a very long time, but soon Japan and Hungary were standing casually in the hotel elevator. Hungary had no bags on her, and Japan was...
But I could've sworn...
"Why isn't anything happening?" America complained.
Japan looked quite puzzled himself.
America's phone went off.
"Sushi! FUCK YEAH! Taco Bell! FUCK YEAH!"
America quickly checked the text he'd just received.
"Awwww," He whined.
"What?" France asked.
"Tony says that Japan's camera got knocked out of the air during the course of the day and was broken. He also says that England owes him for the camera now. And that he still has some footage."
"Why do I owe him anything?" England demanded.
America's phone went off again
"And he also says that luckily Japan and England spent a few hours together, so we still have the tapes. It's just on England's disc."
Japan smacked his head on the table.
Germany pressed play, effectively ending the conversation.
"Shall we go on a little hunt?" Hungary asked, waving a camera.
And it appeared. The maniacal, terrifying glint. It flickered slightly, Japan's dark eye going from it's usual hollow state to a maddening, fire-filled pupil.
"Let's go," Japan said, making it sound like a bad action movie. "It's yaoi time."
America choked on the hamburger he was eating. Canada thumped his brother on the back.
Japan was a bright shade of red. "Do you know what it is America-kun?"
America shook his head violently, bright red. "A lot of my people are fans."
? I know that I've heard of it before. Isn't it- Oh. Now I remember what it is. So that means Japan is taking pictures of- Oh lovely. Should I hide?
Hungary smiled evilly as well, though Japan's face was much scarier, and they headed to the stairwell of the hotel.
"This looks promising," Hungary said, and she removed a ceiling tile.
The look of surprise on Japan's face (both off screen and off) was comical, and quite a few nations snorted before Hungary shot them all glares.
Japan hoisted himself up into the opening first, and he disappeared into the darkness. The camera went black again before the video suddenly appeared again, somehow showing the details of the inside of the vent without resorting to night vision.
Japan was singing the Mario theme song.
Hungary joined in, looking highly confused but deciding to just go with it.
"How are you so calm about this?" China asked, amazed.
"He told me that he'd had five hour energy. That drink does some weird stuff," Hungary explained.
Hungary directed Japan through the ceiling vents, and shrill screaming drifted through a vent.
"JAPAN!" Korea was screaming.
"What?" Japan moved the ceiling tile and looked down at Korea, concerned but still looking possessed. "What's wrong?"
"How did you-?"
It's too much for him. Poor little Korea.
"How did I what?" Japan asked. He smiled down in a lunatic-like fashion
There is no possible way he didn't pick that up from Russia.
"Get up there?" Korea finished weakly.
"Hungary had some very good tips. Excuse me, I've got places to go, people to perve." And Japan replaced the ceiling tile before continuing on his way, now humming the theme for Sonic.
"Where to now Hungary-San?"
Hungary grinned. "Let's place some cameras."
Japan grinned the same, fucking-scary-as-shit-oh-my-god-kill-it-with-fire-and-the-fury-of-a-thousand-suns-and-teddy-bears smile and lead the way.
The screen salt and peppered for a couple minutes, and the two seemed to be in the ceiling of another building. Japan slightly moved a tile and peeked down. America was walking down the "Hallway of Offices" and Japan looked intently around. He slowly dropped to the floor ninja-style after America entered his office and set up cameras with a lot of flips and excessive somersaults. Not to mention the hip swishing and that half-minute of waltzing with the stationary potted tree in the corner. The camera showed Hungary's face for a minute, and Hungary was biting her hand to keep from laughing.
Japan was a vivid shade of red.
"You are a good dancer," Russia said.
Germany let out a snort, which started a tidal wave. Germany didn't bother pausing it, so they were still laughing when Japan went back into the ceiling. He turned a corner or two and then dropped soundlessly into America's office.
All the nations suddenly stopped laughing. They hadn't even seen him on America's tape...
Japan looked at America for a moment. America didn't notice, he just kept reading something over, his lips mouthing it silently to himself.
If my lip reading skills are still intact, he's either saying "Second Amendment something something something" or "I fucking hate my life"... Well, at least he's doing work.
Japan then turned away and started scaling the shelves behind America. America straightened and got an intensely paranoid look on his face that none of the nations (but Canada) had seen since the Cold War. Canada was remembering the time he had rigged a clock to start ticking like an old bomb and echo the sound through the house whenever America turned on a light. His brother hadn't slept the whole week it was up and had searched the house over and under repeatedly, but then Canada took pity on him and shut it off. Mostly because America was about to start ripping down walls... Either way, he'd worn that exact look.
Japan froze and held his breath. His insane smile was gone, and replaced with a frozen, oh-shit-am-I-gonna-get-caught look. America turned back to his papers, and Japan swung himself back up into the ceiling.
His phone suddenly rang, a boring old-fashioned telephone noise and Japan opened it up.
"Hungary-san?" He yelled, and he turned the phone on speakerphone.
"I found England. He's not in a good state right now-GET OFF ME!" There was a clanging noise, "-and I was wondering if you could handle the cameras and stuff alone."
Who was on her? I suppose it's naive to hope that it wasn't me...
"Of course. I'll meet you later." Japan hung up and hummed Justin Bieber's "Baby" to himself.
It was all humming and crawling through vents for a bit, and Japan's face (The one not on the screen) was a mask of mortification. Many nations shot him looks of sympathy, but then the Japan on screen began to sing the only part he knew.
"I was rike baby, baby, baby OH! Rike baby, baby, baby NO! Rike baby, baby, baby OH! I thought you'd arways be mine, mine. When I was thirteen, I had my first rove, there was nobody that could compare to my baby..." He went back to humming then, not knowing the rest.
Japan shed a single tear.
Italy and America shed quite a few (totally manly) tears from laughing so hard.
And the rest of the nations weren't much different. Except for Prussia, who was still passed out on the floor.
That idiot keeps getting knocked out... You'd think he'd just keep his mouth shut and do as told when Hungary is around. Althought if she crawls through vents, you never really know when you can relax.
Japan got out of the vents and walked down the street. His phone rang again.
"Alright, I'll meet you there."
The screen salt-and-peppered and Japan was standing outside of a supermarket, speaking into his phone again.
"England-san, get off the merry-go-round, you're drunk," Japan said into his phone before hanging up. He rolled his eyes and bounced down the parking lot, singing "IIIIIIII Rooooovvveee you! IIIIIIIII Rooooovvveee you! Da da da da da da da! Da da da da da daaaaaaaaa! Some peopre want to firr the worrd with sirry rove songs!"
Germany paused it. Japan was in midair, partway through a skip.
America and Canada stifled their giggles.
"I love that joke," Canada whispered.
England, quite frankly, didn't want to know what he had done yesterday.
But he was unfortunate enough to find out sooner than anticipated when the camera was knocked down as well as Japan, and an excited voice screamed "HELLO!"
Now, considering the fact that the nations all knew America and Korea (And Sealand, even if they didn't recognize him), this was not too unusual. The unusual part was the accent. While it generally would have sounded overly-American or Korean, now it just sounded... English. And not like a small child such as Sealand would sound...
"Igirisu-San?" The camera focused itself again, shaking slightly as it attempted to float once more.
"Yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup yup! It's me Japaneasy and I," he suddenly spoke normally. "I think we should go in there," he pointed to the supermarket.
England covered his face in his hands as the nations around him cracked up.
They're laughing so hard they can't even speak.
Japan dragged England into the store by the arm.
England stopped, rather like a dog that had just sensed a squirrel. "Trolleys." He swiveled his head towards the direction of the shopping carts.
"Can we get the one with the truck?" Japan asked excitedly.
"Sure!" England did a small happy dance.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You can't have a fucking trolley with a truck!
They got a shopping cart with a giant pink plastic bus attached to the front.
You've got to be fucking kidding me!
Then Japan did something that England only had one response to.
"What the FUCK?!" England stood up, spewing tea out of his mouth before knocking over the teacup. He didn't even notice when most of the spewed tea hit Russia in the face, and Russia was too confused to even care.
Japan merely sat in silent horror before covering his ears and beginning to rock back and forth in his chair.
Japan had gotten in and was making realistic race car noises accompanied with sci-fi style "pew pew pew" gun noises.
"Brrrrrrrroooouuuuuu. Brrriiiiiioooouuuu. Pew pew pew!" Japan made whooshing noises and turned the wheel while England controlled the cart.
"So what should we get?" Japan asked, taking a break from the driving noises he was making.
"Biscuits," England said. "Duh."
"I know right? Mine usually are. Hey, wasn't Hungary with you?"
"Yes. I thought she went with you though."
"Hmm, strange. She was just here a minute ago."
"Where'd ya go?" America asked.
"I left. That was just a little too crazy for me with both of them. I got some great pictures later though."
"That's good," Japan said before his face turned red and he covered his mouth with a squeak. "For you I mean."
There was a very awkward pause.
"Can we just keep watching?" Canada asked.
"Alright." Germany pressed play.
"Yuh-huh," England nodded wildly.
The camera shuddered and it suddenly stopped.
"What?" France looked outraged.
That arsehole wants to see me embarrass myself.
Then words came on the screen:
This camera was broken by an enthusiastic arm. There is still video from this time, but it will be showed later, in the last video. Sorry for the inconvenience.
"Well that's not good," Italy said.
"Speak for yourself," England muttered.
The video soon flickered back, and Japan was once again crawling through the ceiling.
He suddenly paused and sniffed the air before turning to his right.
Wat? And yes, that's W-A-T for emphasis.
Then the screen blacked out before showing Japan in the same park China and Korea had been in. He took a great deal of pictures of random things, like a fire hydrant and an ice cream wrapper before the screen salt and peppered once more.
It was now Japan's point of view, looking down into Italy and Germany's room.
"What are you doing Italy-kun?" Japan asked.
"Germany's so annoying. I though I'd do something to annoy him back," Italy said with a poker face, not a single sign showing that we was kidding.
This is still the most bizarre thing that I've ever seen. Hopefully it will remain so.
"Try doing something that won't totally ruin his reputation while still bothering him a lot," Japan said. "Do you know maybe about anything interesting going on?"
Italy shrugged. "Nothing, sorry." He began to cut at something in Germany's suitcase.
Japan nodded. "I'm going to go find England again, maybe he'll be doing something interesting. I think Hungary said she found him again."
Hungary suddenly burst into hysterical, uncontrollable laughter.
The countries stared at her.
But the sound of England's voice just made her laugh harder. She laughed for another thirty seconds before wiping away a tear and sitting primly in her chair once more.
"Oooookaaaayyy then," America said.
"Safe travels Japan."
"May the force be with you," Japan replied. He replaced the ceiling tile and disappeared. Faint humming of the Titanic Theme could be heard coming from the ceiling.
The tape wound around before shuddering once again, broken.
There was silence for a moment, and then Russia broke it. "England, you're next!"
England looked at Japan instead of responding. Japan was frozen in his chair.
Prussia woke up. "I missed the whole thing!?" He went into a long, colorful stream of swears.
America's phone went off again.
"Democrats! FUCK YEAH! Republicans! ...Fuck...yeah? Yeah...?"
"Come on Tony, stop texting me!" America read the text. "Tony, you're such a dick!"
"What did he do, aru?" China asked.
"He like, wiped everybody's memory. That's so mean! I told him not to do that again!"
"...Again?" Russia asked.
America smiled nervously. "Haha, um, no?"
"You don't sound very sure..." Germany frowned.
Nothing's happening yet. Does that mean nothing will? Oh right, it can't. I was in the ceiling during China's tape. Now they'll know all my picture-taking secrets. I'll never be able to take pictures from the vents again.
I'm dancing with a tree. Oh no. I'll never live that down.
It's so odd to be scared of America-chan finding me. It hasn't been like that for a while. And even then I wasn't even afraid!
I hate that song. Why must I be singing it? WHYYYYY?
At least the Beatles are better than Bieber.
I feel like sobbing.
Igirisu-San... There's something very wrong with him.
And according to those car noises, me too.
I'm glad it's broken. I can emotionally prepare myself for seeing myself and England go crazy better now.
I hope Germany-San won't be angry with me for indirectly helping Italy-Chan cut open his underwear.
Star Wars? Seriously?
What does America-chan mean, "again"?
So it seems that a whole lot of people want to see Romano. Epilogue... It approaches. And when I finish this, I'm going to work on another cracky, funny story. I'll post the full description in the notes of the next chapter if anyone cares to see it. Let me know. If it works out it'll be really awesome, but if no one actually cares, then it won't be written.
THREE CHAPTERS LEFT *GASP*
England, Epilogue, and some extras. The letter E is now in control...
So, there's um, 99 reviews. Hundredth reviewer getting something is boring. I will put the names of everyone who reviews this chapter in a hat, pick one, and then write a (not too inappropriate) one-shot for them. So, review raffle I suppose? Enter to win my crappy writing skills. :D