A/N: Well, hello to you dear anybody who bother to open this fic (my first fic in english - like - EVER). I have no need to ramble to gain your attention (as you are already here), but please read on your own risk (as this fic nothing but a product of my poor imagination and writing skills).

WARNINGS: Poor use of english language (I'm russian speaker); abusive use of many characters; somehow AU; poor attempts in humour and horrible grammar (so if anybody are itching to flame me - they are welcome)

ATTENTION: If anybody noticed any mistakes, don't hesitate to write me. As a beginner I would like to know what exactly I'm writing wrong.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own Tsuna's cuteness.


(or where Tsuna muse on how his life is a total mess)

Sawada Tsunayoshi, by no means was an ordinary kid (barely a teen), with simple hopes and dreams. Being raised by his loving (though a little simple-minded and quite ditzy) mother, and he won't even bother to mention any participation of his no-good father, who visit him once in 2-3 years, only to sleep, drink and be all lovely-dovely with his wife -Na-na~- or nag him constantly about father-son-bonding (and no, Tsuna didn't think that going fishing in 3 at the morning was great way to spend quality time with his father, or talking about his love life), Tsuna had peaceful and relatively normal childhood. Well, except for bullies and constant misery he suffers from his peers, only because he look so vulnerable and little with all his feminine looks (damn his mothers cute genes!) and his constant failures in practically – no scratch that – absolutely everything he do.

Is it really his fault that he has the worst luck in the world?

Apparently, yes, it was his fault. And constant bullying and taunting from his classmates, other students, senpais, little children, some parents in near neighbourhood and, actually whole Namimori - if he really thinks about it - don't let him forget that he is pathetic, miserable person who have no hope to become somebody important or at least above average in his adulthood. They even gave him his very own nick – Dame-Tsuna.

Well, Tsuna was pretty sure himself about becoming somebody simple (at least average) when he will grow up (and he really should throw away his drawing of 'Tsuna-bot', because, alas, his dream from 2nd grade will not come true. Period.)

But everything changed in one ordinary day, when oh-not-so-ordinary person set a foot in Sawada residence and chaos became one of the constant visitor to Tsuna, alongside with pain, humiliation and more pain.

It all started from Reborn.

This demonic, evil, cruel, sadistic, not-exactly-baby clad in black suit, had ruined his hopes and dreams for relatively normal life in one 'Chaossu'.

And that sharp kick. Ouch. Tsuna still winced remembering it.

After being informed that he is the candidate for the next mafia boss of some big and important Famiglia and then being mercilessly shot and humiliating himself in front of his first and biggest crush (his face never fail to turn red at the memory of confessing to Kyoko-chan in boxers. Well – he always sigh after – at least they was his favorite ones), Tsunayoshi understands that his bad luck strike again, and there was little he can do… Though it doesn't mean that he won't fight it and struggle against everything Reborn made him do.

With pain and humiliation, came strangeness, or more specific - strange people.

(And is it him, or everybody he met tried to kill him?)

Days full of explosions, tears, shape-shifting chameleons, stinky martial arts, poison cooking, guns, children hitmen and weirdness all around him flew by, and if Tsuna need to be truthful, it was not all so bad.

Yes, there was pain, there were constant suffering from his sadistic tutor and not to mention people who have tendency to make his life crazy.

But… at least, now he has people to share it with him.

Being Dame-Tsuna all his life, he never had friends, because nobody wanted to be friends with someone no-good and pathetic like him. So it was akin to shock to him, when all those people filled his life and refused to go away (someone quite literally). Never again he and his mother had to eat alone, never again he had to be lonely during school days, and never again he had to fall and lie on the cold and unforgiving concrete, because there are always people who will extend their hands to help him to stand.

And he was happy.

Pity, that his bad luck strike again, and his days full of (painful) fun, turned into days full of (equally painful) fighting.

Tsuna hated fighting. He actually hated any type of violence (if only it wasn't video games – in them he is actually very good), and when Reborn made him fight he never hesitate to voice his objections.

Alas, Reborn didn't care.

So, with the gun pointed at his skull, he fought. But slowly and surely, the gun had become not the reason for his fighting, but more like reminder of why he fought.

He fought to protect.

So overcoming all obstacles, fighting with creepy pineapples, monkey kings, evil marshmallow-eating albinos, not-so-dead-ghostly-perverted pedophiles, mummified zombies with the power of teleportation and man with the board instead of face who was creepily obsessed with power (actually… all of them were), he somehow provided more or less peaceful life for his old friends and new-found ones.

(No, not a Famiglia, because despite how many times Reborn said it, he will not become the Mafia Boss.)

But his bad luck had another opinion.

"Who are you?" light-orange eyes looked at him in confusion, and Tsuna thought that his bad luck probably was laughing at him somewhere with sadistic fate and cruel destiny.

Sweat tricked down his temple and nervous hands gripped hem of his hoodie. Presence of his brother-not-by-blood, behind his left shoulder didn't make him less nervous (because right now his usually awesome big bro was completely useless) and presence of oh-not-so-patient bloodthirsty fighter behind his right made him hundred time more nervous (because if somebody, anybody, will make a wrong move, things ain't going to end pretty).

"My name is S-sawada Tsunayoshi. N-nice to meet you P-p-primo"

Oh how he wished he didn't get out of the bed today.

R&R ?