AU modern day fic Sasori/Deidara, Kisame/Itachi - reference to other pairings (Kakuzu/Hidan, maybe others as story progresses); Yaoi, M for lemons, kink(sado-masochism), reference to eating disorder and misuse of prescription drugs, and violence. . .
This fic is going to be long-winded, with lots of witty banter and humorous dialogue between the characters, not a total angsty emotion-fest like some of my other fics. Some of it will be third-party POV, some will be Deidara's POV, and some will be Sasori's POV but I will always note which it is, to avoid confusion.
Full Summary; As young children in elementary school Deidara Iwa, Kisame Hoshigaki, and Sasori Akasuna are classmates. Deidara is a happy and outgoing child, loved by his classmates for his magnetic personality, and especially by his self-assured best friend Kisame. His unabashed puppy love crush for the redhead knows no bounds, much to the dismay and embarrassment of the shy Sasori, who has always wanted to blend into the background.
This cycle continues through elementary and middle school, Deidara and Kisame becoming inseperable friends who share ideas and secrets, his puppy-love crush having developed into full-on declared adoration. The blonde feels as though through the years he has made decent progress at what he considers his mission in life - picking through the icy wall that makes Sasori so cold and distant. But when the scorpion moves away without saying a word to anyone before their freshman year and ceases all contact, it leaves Deidara depressed and unfulfilled, his social butterfly personality withering into a shell of his former self. Kisame picks up the pieces, restoring the blonde to his former functioning self with great time and effort.
Now 7 years later at the age of 22, Kisame and Deidara are about to be sophomores at Konoha University, and are leasing a two-bedroom apartment nearby. Deidara is happy, healthy and functioning alongside Kisame and their other friends. But when Sasori (alongside his sarcastic stepbrother, Itachi) and Deidara are reunited at orientation for the school, they are forced to face memories and regrets both had pushed aside for the sake of self-preservation. Kisame, who has a much harder time being civil to Sasori attempts to put his energy in keeping them apart, but is more than distracted by his budding relationship with Itachi. . .
Will Sasori realize his feelings for Deidara, overcome the obstacles and convince the jilted blonde to give him another chance?
"See you tomorrow, Deidara!" A girl with choppy pink hair said shyly, clasping her hands behind her. The bell signaling the end of the school day (and the beginning of a short segment of freedom) had just let out it's shrill howl on a Tuesday afternoon. Unbeknownst to him, her cheeks were colored an unhealthy shade of maroon.
"You too, Sakura." The blonde fourth-grader said distractedly, waving a hand, before snatching up his backpack and bounding out the door. "Hey, Sasori!" He called out, resulting in the short redhead speeding up his gait. Deidara caught him easily, his wiry child's legs taking long strides in the hallway, the other children's pleasant faces passing him as a blur. "Hey, so that test today was a total killer, I can't believe you aced it! You're really smart!" He let the words flow from his mouth just as he had imagined saying them to his classmate on his daydream at his desk when he was supposed to be reading White Fang. No biggie - He'd just watch the movie to get caught up.
"I know." Sasori answered, eyeing the excitable boy apprehensively, clutching his notebooks closer. His staggering shyness and social awkwardness made it easy for the other kids to tease him, or brush him off as 'that weird redhead', calling him names or sometimes ignoring him completely, which he considered heaven on Earth. The complex test the teacher had given them that day had stumped every student but Sasori, who had scored an easy 100%. . .
"So maybe next test I'll copy off you, huh?" The blonde joked, poking his arm pointedly, trying to goad a reaction off the bashful scorpion. Sasori didn't answer, only stared hard at his shoes, a light blush creeping over his cheeks, still slightly round with baby fat.
They had reached the front entrance of the school, where parents drove into the lane with their cars for their children to pile happily in the car, chattering about their day. It was a covered patio, shielding the students and attendants from the sun and occasional rain. Sasori tapped his foot impatiently, eyes darting from car to car, waiting for his father's car to appear to save him from this. Why did Deidara, king of the classroom, one of the most popular students in their grade, insist on paying attention to him and try to make him hold a conversation? Why couldn't the blonde be like everyone else and let him fade into the background like he preferred?
He knew for a fact that boys like Deidara Iwa, Kisame Hoshigaki, and Kiba Inuzuka were not really supposed to want to talk to boys like him. Nothing personal, that was just how school (and life) were. It had never occured to him to want friendships or a social life, because those were simply things he had never had. Can't miss something you never had. And although technically the three of them were all in the same social group, or "clique" as he sometimes heard them called, he did prefer Deidara's open and trend-setting personality to Kisame's intimidating brutality or Kiba's conceited snottiness.
Unperturbed by the lack of response, the cheerful student continued. "Anyway, I just wanted to tell you how really cool it was for you to do so well."
"Thanks." Sasori replied, having nothing else to say.
Deidara seemed satisfied with this response, shifting his weight from one clunky sneaker (this season's Nike) to the other. "You should do laps with us in gym instead of by yourself. It's more fun exercising in groups!"
Sasori heaved a quiet sigh, glancing down at himself subconsciously. Deidara had already leaned out, his adolescence quick and merciful, granting him with long limbs and a rangy torso. He was already several inches taller than Sasori, whose body still seemed to be blooming, thick and pudgy with childhood roundness remaining from his younger years. He had only grown an inch since last year, third grade. And just like last year, he was the shortest boy in class much to his own horror and the other boys' glee. And the shorts and tshirts they were forced to wear for gym highlighted it cruelly.
He remembered with brilliant clarity a day when 'changing out' (the term the school used for changing into a p.e. uniform before gym class in the locker room), one of his classmates had pointed out the fact that just like their female counterparts, Sasori's chest was beginning to swell with unfortunately placed fat.
"Look, guys! Akasuna is growing tits bigger than Haruno and Yamanaka!" Kiba had nearly doubled over in laughter at his own deliciously sharp wit, several other students laughing as well. Sasori didn't consider himself as having a sensitive nature, but at that moment in time, he would have welcomed death with open arms and a dull gratitude. In the next moment, all eyes and attention had gone away from him and his jiggly pre-pubescent body, and focused back on Kiba, who emitted a loud cry.
"Ow! What the Hell, Deidara!?" His back hit the steel lockers with a crack, but it didn't occur to him to hit back - Not to Deidara Iwa, whose best friend Kisame was the best fighter in the school and whose popularity granted him the ability to disagree or argue with anyone he desired and still come out on top.
"Take that back, what a dickish thing to say!" The blonde chided him. The other boys eyes had widened at Deidara's use of a 'bad word', but did not comment. Things like that were what made him cool in the first place. Kiba had murmured a half-hearted apology and nobody had commented on the scorpion's weight again, but he felt as though he would never forget the feeling of all that laughter and disgust and disdain all directed at him.
Deidara frowned slightly at this, but shrugged. "Well if you want to, you can. I'll make sure nobody says anything to you." He brushed his shaggy blonde bangs out of his face, having already made the decision, even at this young age, to grow his hair out long like the rock stars he saw on television, much to the exasperation of his mother.
Sasori was more than aware of the fact that he would have gotten teased about three times more than he already did if Deidara hadn't gained the admiration and acceptance of their classmates, and for some vexing reason did not like it when they made fun of the red-headed outcast and was not shy about expressing it. Before Sasori could decide whether to answer this, or continue in silence, Kisame Hoshigaki had sprinted up to them, grinning widely at Deidara.
Deidara supposed he had a crush on Sasori, or was in love with him and that was why it was always the redhead he was thinking of when a love song came on the radio or when he was a movie with two people kissing. Yeah, so stuff like that was supposed to be stupid and only for girls, but he couldn't help how he felt. Not that he would ever tell; He was fairly sure if he told one of his friends they would probably laugh themselves silly. And if he ever told Sasori, he may make mock vomiting noises of disgust, or pretend like nothing had been said at all. He wasn't sure which would be worse, but as brave and uncaring about what people thought as he was, he was not willing to risk finding out.
He was aware of the fact that Sasori was considered 'weird', and 'fat', and a 'freak', but he simply did not care what the other students thought of him, or that he was slightly overweight. When love came before puberty, it came in waves so clear and pure and potent it threatened to smother him. He felt foolish and silly and exalted, all mixed together in a heady brew that he could not even begin to understand but welcomed into his heart with a brash tenacity. The feeling was huge and inarticulate, leaving him feeling joyful yet sometimes, in those rare times, embarrassed and insecure.
"You ran out so fast, Dei, I didn't get a chance to give you. . . This!" On the last word, the taller yet male held out a multi-colored bouncy ball between his thumb and index finger.
"Aw yeah, Kisa thank you!" The blonde snatched it instantly, holding it to his chest before giving it a monster bounce on the ground, nimbly catching it in his palm again. "I didn't think Mr. Umino was going to give this back to me after it hit Ino in the head!" He laughed, azure eyes sparkling.
"I took it from that jerk's desk when he wasn't looking." The brunette said proudly, puffing out his chest slightly. Finally seeming to notice Sasori standing there, his smile dimmed slightly, noticably to Sasori but not Deidara, who was preoccupied. "Oh. Hey, Sasori." He emphasized the name.
"Hi." The scorpion answered, understanding his place with only a small amount of resentment. He had observed a few times already, Kisame Hoshigaki met hostility with insults and sometimes fists. Best just to play nice. Deidara was oblivious of their mutual dislike for one another, and no doubt would have been upset by it. "My dad's here." He whispered, gripping the straps of his plain black backpack tightly before racing off to meet the small car.
"Bye, Sasori!" Deidara called loudly, waving his arm in a wide arc, watching his classmate slam the car door before focusing his attention back on the shark. "What?" The blonde asked loudly, after he turned to observe the brunette's cocked dark brow.
"Nothing." Kisame said lightly, holding his hands palm-out. "Jeez." The blonde continued to stare at him inquiringly. "It's just that I don't really get why you hang out with that freak." He continued carefully, but sugar coating wasn't exactly a specialty for a 10-year-old boy, and especially not for one as blunt as the shark.
"Sasori isn't a freak." Deidara visibly bristled. "He's cool."
"In what way?" He asked incredulously. "He doesn't play sports or do anything cool." To the ultra-active shark (who would, years later, only be able to attend college due to a scholarship in football), playing sports was the epitome of cool. And the quiet bookworm scorpion was anything but good at sports. Not even the dumb games they were forced to play in gym, like dodgeball and four-square.
Deidara frowned, but paused in thought. "I don't know." He lied, feeling his face heat up and hoping it didn't show. "But I think he's cool. So stop making fun of him." He insisted, sulking. Kisame opened his mouth to argue but the blonde's pleading sapphire eyes stopped him.
"Whatever you say." Kisame heaved a sigh, rolling his eyes dramatically to the sky.
*o*o* Four years later *o*o*
"Everyone needs to have their lab partners by the end of this week." Ms. Yuhi reiterated to the 8th-grade class, glancing around at them. Nearly every pair of eyes was locked on the round wall clock, the seconds agonizingly slow in ticking to the time they were waiting on.
When the bell rang, Sasori closed the book he had been reading with a snap and picked up his backpack from under the wooden desk. Before he could pick up the carefully stacked pile of papers from his desk to carefully slide into his organized bag, Deidara plopped down on his desk, ass and legs effectively crumpling and wrinkling the papers. The redhead pinched the bridge of his nose as if willing away an oncoming headache before glancing up into mischeviously sparkling blue eyes, lined with black makeup.
"Deidara, would you like to be my lab partner?" Both males looked over at one of their female classmates, her platinum blonde hair pulled back in a high ponytail.
"Ino, I already asked him!" Sakura snapped, holding her fists on her hips. "He told me he wasn't sure yet! If anyone is going to be his partner, it will be me!"
Deidara grinned, tossing his mop of bright locks behind him, his stylishly edged bangs falling back into place over one of his eyes. Not that he was interested the least bit in either of them, but it sure was an ego boost. "Actually, ladies. . . " The blonde cleared his throat, pausing for dramatic anticipation, immensely enjoying the way they both leaned forward, hanging on his every syllable. "I want Sasori." He paused again, eyes flicking to the ceiling. "As my lab partner. If he will have me." He ended the last sentence with a questioning tone, cocking his head toward the scorpion.
Sasori didn't really have a choice in this particular matter, considering most of the other boys in their grade thought he was strange and wouldn't want to spend the extended amount of time with him that this project would require, and most of the females hated him solely based on the interest Deidara showed in him. "Fine." He shrugged one shoulder, wincing against the twin choruses of disappointed 'Aww!' . . .
Deidara seemed unfazed, inspecting his fingernails closely, his eyes narrowed as if looking for a miniscule piece of dirt. Sasori sighed, glancing at the clock again. The four of them were the only ones remaining in the classroom, not counting the teacher, who seemed more intent on something she was reading on the computer. "Could you get your ass off my papers? I'd really like to go home now." The redhead requested quietly, glaring when the blonde stretched luxuriously, lifting his arms above his head, his Sex Pistols tshirt lifting with the movement, exposing a strip of his toned stomach before settling back down to the waistband of his tight jeans. Sasori's eyes flickered to the cream-colored flesh unconsciously, making his glare more intense, his cheeks coloring.
Sasori had finally, finally, grown a few inches in the last 18 months, his height now nearly mirroring Deidara's, their eyes parallel with one another when standing face-to-face. He had lost a handful of pounds with a half-hearted diet and exercise regime, and the remaining ones were distributed nicely throughout his taller frame, leaving him at a now average size, even some slight muscle definition in certain areas. With a grateful sort of relief that his awkward preteen days seemed to be over, he was slightly more comfortable with the awkward teenager days to come, not that he felt any older. He hoped he would not feel like the chubby outcast picked last for dodgeball for the rest of his life.
"I suppose." He relented with a mock sigh, slipping off the desk with little grace. "So here's my cell number." He scribbled it on the top of a graded exam paper, the bright red 100% shining like a beacon in the top margin. Sasori folded it in half, effectively hiding the number from the two girls, whose necks had craned with no subtlety, apparently trying with all their might to see and memorize the digits. "Call me tonight and we'll work out the details of the project. It counts for 25% of our grade."
"And, I actually need the points." Deidara laughed softly, slinging his bag behind him on one shoulder. "As long as we do well on this, I should finish out this class with a C+."
"I can help you study." Sakura suggested. "I have an A, you know!" She said loudly, silently beaming at Ino's envious growl. Ino was hardly a better student than Deidara, she could provide him with no help in this, and so for this round in the battle of vying for the popular blonde male's attention, Sakura had won.
"Thanks but I'm good." The blonde said kindly, giving the pink-haired girl an amicable smile. "Sasori has the highest grade in class, an A+. So if I need any pointers, I'll just pick them up from him." Sakura frowned and Ino snorted.
Deidara took a deep breath, letting the familar butterflies in the deep, low part of his stomach flutter in anticipation before rapping three staccato raps on the wooden front door of the small and modest Akasuna residence. He heard rustling movement inside and automatically shifted nervously, hooking his thumbs in the front pockets of his jeans.
Sasori opened the door slowly, copper eyes narrowed suspiciously as if he had forgotten about the time the two of them had scheduled to meet and work on their project. This wasn't the first time; It had already been nearly two weeks since the first time Deidara had gone there but each time it was the same. Not paralyzed with nervousness or fear but more than a little uncomfortable with being there. It wasn't often that he worried about looking foolish or saying something stupid, but when he did, it was usually around the scorpion.
Sometimes the redhead's parents were there, sometimes they weren't. Deidara liked it a little better when they weren't solely because Sasori seemed more at ease when they were gone. His mother seemed to be very sick, the father constantly carting her around to doctor's appointments and specialists. The blonde didn't ask for further information on this, since Sasori seemed to tense when it was mentioned.
They had finished their assignment already, miles ahead of the other students in class, the only work remaining were what Deidara had deemed 'final touches', mocking a genuine interest in having a perfect project. Truthfully, he just didn't want all the private time he had shared with the scorpion to end. He had loved Sasori for as long as he could remember, but spending all this time with him and getting to know him even better was like a personal state of bliss for him.
"So how come you don't ever hang out with anyone from school?" They had finished the minimal amount of 'touching up' for that day, and were now lazing on the back lawn in the Akasuna property's privacy-fenced backyard, Sasori leaned against a massive oak tree, Deidara stretched lazily out on his back in the cool grass, hands hooked behind his head.
The air was summer crisp and just a bit chilly, ripe with the promise of autumn coming. The breeze teased the leaves in the tall tree before calming to a stagnant pause. The temperature was perfect for jeans if you were prone to a high body temperature, or a coat if you were prone to a low body temperature.
"Why would I want to? Our school is full of bimbos and idiots." Sasori shrugged, taking a deep drag off the filtered menthol cigarettes that he and Deidara shared lately, before passing it to the blonde. At 14, doing anything that was rebellious or taboo appealed to them, and smoking fell into that category nicely, and was easy to hide.
"Does that mean me, too?" The usually confident blonde's self-esteem faltered a little. He couldn't bear the thought of the scorpion thinking of him in that way. Deidara rolled over onto his stomach, staring at the other boy with a mixture of bemusement and inquiry.
The corner of the redhead's mouth twitched, but he didn't answer, glancing up into the sky, now tinged with pink and orange. "You're like their leader." He took the cigarette gratefully when it was passed back to him.
"That doesn't answer my question." Deidara insisted, pouting, forcing Sasori to notice (not for the first time) that the blonde's lips were unusually full for a male.
"I don't think of you in that way." He relented, pulling his knees up closer to him, in a move that screamed vulnerability and emotional guard.
"How do you think of me?" Deidara asked softly, glancing down at the emerald grass, his fingers plucking at it nervously.
"What do you mean?"
"You know what I mean."
Sasori did know what he meant, of course. He crushed the end of the cigarette on the ground before flicking it away. "I don't know what to say."
In a swift move, the blonde crawled over to the tree, leaning his back against it as well, the sides of their bodies smushed together in a deliberate effort for closeness. Sasori didn't move, but stiffened slightly. "Just say the truth."
"I don't think of you. Or, I try not to, to put it more accurately." Sasori admitted, blushing slightly, which he despised.
"Why do you try not to think of me?" Deidara asked excitedly, not caring that he wasn't acting 'cool' or 'coy'. Unlike the scorpion, guarding his emotions and feelings wasn't something that was always on the forefront of his mind. But when you grew up with ridicule and criticism coming from every side, you became hardened and shielded yourself without even meaning to.
Sasori heaved a sigh, shifting away, attempting to get on his feet. Deidara's hand shot out, gripping his arm. "Answer me." He insisted, his sapphire eyes locked firmly with the redhead's honey copper orbs. Sasori frowned, yanking his arm away in a harsh jerk.
"No." He snapped out, glaring. Why had he even said anything? This was so stupid. He felt embarrassed and idiotic for even having this conversation in the first place. "Just forget it."
In a move full of desperation, pent-up frustration and immaturity, the blonde grabbed his arms again, momentarily stopping the scorpion while he caged him against the tree, knees spread on either side of him. Their faces inches apart, the tips of Deidara's sunshine hair brushing against Sasori's lips and chin, the blonde's thighs and arms on each side of him, apparently hoping to hold him against his will.
"I'm not the out-of-shape kid I used to be." Sasori warned lightly. "Don't make me hurt you, Deidara."
"You already are." Deidara growled, wincing when the redhead gripped his arm like a steel clamp to try to pry him off. "Why won't you just talk to me? You're being ridiculous. You don't have to act like some emotionless big shot all the time!"
"I'm not acting!" Sasori snarled, losing his temper and shoving his classmate hard, the feminine-looking male landing on his rear, hard. "Stop acting like some lovesick idiot! You don't have to feel bad for me just because I got made fun of when we were kids!"
"I'm not acting, either, you clueless moron." Deidara snapped, but the temper had ebbed out of him. He really thinks I act like this because I feel bad for him? He's so clueless about how incredibly hot he is. . . "I don't feel bad for you."
"You wanted to be my partner because you knew nobody else would want to be, right?" Sasori asked, eyes narrowed, but his expression had softened slightly.
"You really are an idiot, Sasori." Deidara whispered, heaving a sigh, sitting up on his knees again. "You really don't know why I wanted to be your partner? Why I always want to pair up with you in class?" When the redhead continued to stare at him in question, the blonde inhaled deeply, anxiety causing his pulse to stutter in it's steady throb.
Their lips met for an instant and clung, despite the blonde's intentions to kiss his love for just a moment, wanting to test the waters. After all, Sasori had barely given any indication of interest in him, and even the small amount of suggestion there had been was so slight, it was more than possible of just being some figment of Deidara's lovestruck imagination. Tentatively, and with the timidness of two people who had never kissed anyone before, their lips touched again, moving together slowly.
Deidara's suspicions (and hopes) that the redhead did harbor romantic (or at least sexual) feelings for him were confirmed when Sasori deepened the kiss, his hands sliding up to lightly grip the sides of the blonde's face, his fingertips twitching in anticipation and uncertainty of where to go next.
They were kneeling, their bodies slightly swaying because of the breeze and because their minds were dizzy, whirling with thoughts of what they were doing.
"Do you understand now?" Deidara panted softly, finally breaking contact and leaning back. His mind swam as fiercely as his bloodstream, his cheeks pink with heat.
"I've. . . Always known that." Sasori said slowly, though even as he said it, he wondered if it was true. Had he known?
Both their heads whipped around, hyper-aware of the foreign noise. It was the front door, all the way on the other side of the house opening and closing. "My father's home." Sasori snapped, shoving Deidara unnecessarily again, the blonde hissing a curse as he landed sorely.
They scrambled to their feet, Deidara smoothing his hair carefully, taking slow, deep breaths to steady his heart rate. He prayed silently the redhead's father wouldn't notice anything was amiss.
His prayers seemed to be answered, because when they walked into the house, all innocent smiles, Mr. Akasuna greeted them with little to no interest, and retreated to his bedroom, mumbling something about Sasori's sick mother staying the night at the hospital. He was apparently just coming home for a change of clothes and heading off again.
The moment ruined now, the two males eyed each other awkwardly. "I should probably go." Deidara admitted, lowering his lashes over his crystalline eyes.
Sasori hesitated, furrowing his brow. "I guess so." He shrugged, as they watched his father go out the door again, giving a small wave as a goodbye. "You could stay, if you wanted. . . For a little while."
Deidara's eyes flew back up from their gaze on the floor. "Really?" He asked, running his hand through his glossy, well-kept hair in a nervous habit that would stay with him well into adulthood.
"If you want." The scorpion shrugged, feigning disregard and casualness. He was blushing again, an unbearably annoying (and as far as he was concered, feminine and submissive, which he did not consider himself in the least) habit that he despised with every fiber of his being, but that would also follow him into adulthood. One could not help their bodily functions, no matter how obvious it made you, or how you hated it.
Their eyes met and stayed together until the blonde's small, even teeth showed in a dazzlingly handsome grin.
Their project (which had been based around ancient weaponry and how modern weapons had evolved from them; For example, today's brass knuckles were inspired by an ancient Roman battle glove, a cestus), needless to say, had gotten a perfect score and Deidara had breezed through by the skin of his teeth, scoring a B- as his final grade for the year.
The remainder of the school year came and went in a flash of secret meetings and desperate, urgent kisses and promises and feelings, none of which were public knowledge to anyone but Sasori, Deidara, and Kisame, who the blonde could have no more easily kept a secret from than God. The blunt and good-natured shark was his best friend, his confidante, and his advisor and although Kisa did not care for the redhead in the least, he was genuinely glad to see his best friend so blissfully in love. Deidara had loved the calm and guarded male for as long as the shark could remember. . .
When the next school year started, they entered as anxious freshman, clinging to the familiarity of each other, like the eye in a hurricane. Deidara faced it all with a boldness and tenacity that none of their other friends recognized, only Kisame, who had nursed him back from the depths of despair and despondency only months before with an unmatched loyalty that nobody but the two of them would ever know. When Deidara had been nothing but a heartbroken teenager, his beautiful blue eyes hauned and empty, his parents and other friends had not noticed and had not been there to pick up each shattered piece and restore it to it's shining originality.
And when his body weight dropped dangerously low, his arms and thighs like spindly twigs, his torso showcasing his protruding ribs like a trophy, his health became the brunette's sole focus in life. For reasons he could not (and maybe would never) understand, he loved Deidara with all his heart (with the unquestioned fierceness that only came from two children and grew as they did) and protecting him, 'fixing' him, being his 'partner in crime', giving him advice and taking advice from him as well was just second nature to Kisame.
His heart had been so utterly broken by Sasori's leaving, that the will to continue with life and normalcy held no appeal for the blonde. The thought of going back to school, when he knew the redhead would not be there, seemed a fate worse than death. Even now, after all Kisame's effort and amateur therapy, he knew he would never truly be happy again, but he would be content, with a heart-wrenching defiance.
When someone asked about Sasori Akasuna (and it happened often; hated as he might have been, he was known by the other students well enough), his breath hitched and his chest panged, but Kisa's hand would touch his shoulder or arm reassuringly, and the pain would dull as if he had taken a pain-repressing medication. Nobody noticed this, as the two of them had wanted. Deidara couldn't bear for anyone else to know his heart was gone, his will for life and love demolished as easily as dried leaves crumbling to dust.
The last time they spoke of it, was a cool night not unlike the one when Deidara had his first kiss with the scorpion, the breeze sometimes a gentle caress, sometimes a sharp ribbon of frigidity. It had been 3 years, nearly exactly, and the last shred of the blonde's hope that Sasori would come back had died quietly long ago, like the last smoldering ember of a campfire. He had not mourned it, and did not think of it often. But on cold nights like this, when it was just the two of them, the memories came back like a reel of stillshots in his mind.
The city park was empty at this hour of the night, the only sounds the rustling of running squirells and other nocturnal creatures. The two of them sat on the tall brick wall that separated the two sections of the park, Deidara swinging his legs idly to a steady rhythm he was not aware of.
They were Juniors now, feeling on top of the world. They were beloved by their classmates, lusted after by both males and females, envied by both as well. Even their teachers seemed to have an affinity for them, giving them lenience and allowances on their grades. Deidara was student class president, Kisame an invaluable player on the school's football team even just as a Junior.
"He never even told me he was leaving." He commented softly, his breath showing in the night air. He shivered a little, rubbing his arms lightly and immediately felt Kisame's arms come around him, wrapping him in a jacket. The letterman jacket that he was so prideful of, earning his spot as a running back on the school's football team with his impressive size and skill at the sport, relishing each victory. He loved the sport, and loved his position on the team, and at the school. They both did. "Thank you, Kisa." He mumbled gratefully.
Popularity for them was never fully appreciated, because they had never known anything else. Their outgoing and charismatic personalities had earned them that much, served them usefully, as social status was so important in high school. Just as how their relationship was never fully understood by their peers, some assuming that they had casual sex or even possibly a secretive romantic relationship, but that was just simply not the case. Their love for each other was completely unadulterated, like that of brothers.
"Do you still miss him?" Kisame asked quietly, tilting his head in question, his miniscule brown eyes searching for a sign of hurt on his companion's face, watching as his classmate put his slender appendages through the arms of the jacket, sizes and sizes too large for him, but warming him considerably.
"Sometimes." He admitted, peering back at him through bright bangs. "I'm so stupid." He smiled serenely, his eyes cloudy with sadness. Serenity and introspection were not exactly common for Deidara; He was by no means an idiot but intelligence was not exactly a trait he boasted. He wasn't wise, and he wasn't level-headed, and that was okay with him, but when it came to these matters, Kisame sometimes felt like he was seeing a different person behind those azure eyes.
"Not stupid." The shark corrected him. He could tell when it weighed most heavily on the blonde, but when he was with honest with himself, had to concede that he did not know what heartbreak was like, since he had never experienced being in love.
"Silly, then." He reiterated, shaking his head. "I guess I just always thought he would be there. He always was there. . ." He trailed off, sighing, and let his head rest on the larger male's shoulder, his lengthy, blonde locks flowing down the brunette's chest. "No wonder my relationships always fail." He laughed a little, wistfully, referring to the handful of boyfriends he had over the years, short flings or sweet little romances that had all ended amicably, all merely lacking what Deidara had needed most.
"Sasori may not have as much to do with that as you think." Kisame said, laughing lowly. "Yours have been more successful than mine!" Some of the shark's had not ended on such friendly terms, but he took it all in stride, cheerful and positive by nature, never one to mope or whine.
"Maybe we're both destined to be alone." Deidara mused, but the sadness was gone from his voice. He too was positive by nature, despite the circumstances.
"Not alone." Kisa disagreed, grinning. "You'll never be alone, not as long as I'm here."
So that's the prologue, the next chapter will begin the actual story with them at the age of 22 as sophomores at college. I love the aspects of this story, and Deidara and Kisame's relationship is one of my favorite parts. And yes, I know it's a farfetched stretch for Deidara to be student class president in high school as a rocker who wears eyeliner but it's for the purpose of the plot, deal with it, stranger stuff than this happens in fanfiction!
Also, I was vague on the details of what Deidara goes through as far as his depression on purpose, you will find out details as the story progresses(:
I'm really excited about this fic, and I can't wait to continue it. Please review, it's important to me to get feedback on this! And if I feel like nobody's reading this, I won't have a reason to continue it!