Title: Another Love You So
Disclaimer: I don't own the Avengers, its characters, this poem or anything to do with them. This is purely a work of fanfiction.
Summary: Based on Aleksander Pushkin's "I Loved You" poem. Clint lets Natasha go to love another.
A/N: So I'm back. This is un-beta'd. Also there's WinterWidow! Just a one-shot, I think for now unless I find a perfect poem as a companion peice and have that to ... well suggestions open. I hope you guys like it! Happy reading! (: - and don't forget to review!
Я вас любил: любовь еще, быть может
В душе моей угасла не совсем;
It's been months since Bucky had come back. Since she ran back into the arms of the man who taught her that Love is for children.
Turns out, Natalia Romanova can be quite a child.
Clint watched from afar, never coming too close. Bucky also moved into the Avengers Tower with the rest of them, most likely living in Natasha's suite. But Clint never asked, he knew just from watching. It was what he was good at, observation, watching from a distance.
He watched her laugh, blush, run around avoiding the spray of the water gun knowing perfectly well that she could defend herself.
Natasha Romanoff turned into a child before him because she was in love.
The only problem was, she wasn't in love with him.
And yet, there he was perched in the air vents in which he made a home; his nest. A guitar in his hand, a sad smile on his face.
He was a child for her.
Но пусть она вас больше не тревожит;
Я не хочу печалить вас ничем.
She confronted him about it once. About his feelings for her.
"Love is for children, Clint," she told him looking him in the eye and trying to force him to understand where she was coming from. "We can't afford to be children in our line of work."
He sat there, taking her words in, not believing them.
Growing up in the circus, he saw that they could. He saw families, couples, people, happy with their lives and those they love. From a young age, he watched them from the top of his trapeze performing for them. For the future that he wished so much to have. To have what those people below him had.
If normal people could do it, could love, surely those who were considered superheroes could too.
"Do you understand me Clint?" she asked him. "I just - I can't..."
He nodded his head. He saw how troubled she was because of this.
He promised himself that he would keep his dreams and wishes to himself, only to think about them perched on top of buildings like he was back in the circus on his trapeze. He would picture himself as one of them, the men who had his child perched on his shoulders and an arm around his beautiful wife.
But those were only dreams.
He didn't want to sadden her, cause her distress and trouble her.
She was right, they couldn't afford the distraction in their line of work. They would remain partners. At least in the field, until he couldn't take it anymore.
He looked down from the building he was on, watching her fight with grace and fluidity alongside her new man.
He would leave them alone.
It was better to leave him miserable and her happy.
Я вас любил безмолвно, безнадежно,
То робостью, то ревностью томим;
Stark had come up to him, addressing his change in mood. He wasn't a genius for naught. He noticed things and the one thing he noticed was the faux happiness that Clint had adapted since the man who owned her heart came back.
"We'll set you up with someone," Stark stated. "Nothing a bottle of good ole Captain Morgan and Mr. Daniels with some professional dancers can't cure, eh?"
He shook his head. Nothing would cure this.
He can't get rid of the feeling of jealousy. The way that she would hold the other man's hand, or curl up next to him during team movie nights. They way that her eyes sparkled when she looked at the man who, despite his imperfections had her falling for him.
The next day, he approached Fury. Signed his resignation letter and all the other five hundred forms that came with retiring from the service. Ensure he wasn't going to spill the classified information, defect etc.
It took him almost a day to finish the paperwork and until the new dossier was sent to him.
His mission was set, a solo mission to Paraguay. A mission he would never come back from.
"Are you sure about this Barton?" Fury asked him as he walked down the Com Center. He met the man's all seeing eye.
"How am I dying, sir?"
"Infiltrated a building, it blew up. I have the doctored paperwork that stated we found DNA evidence that you were in the building. Info ready to upload when you finish this mission."
He nodded walking away.
He turned around. "Sir, thank you."
"I hope you know what you're doing, Barton."
"Never do, sir."
Three days later, the Avengers would get a call from Maria Hill telling them to get to the Helicarrier, it was news that they were to hear in person.
There was a spontaneous thunderstorm in the middle of the Californian summer.
Я вас любил так искренно, так нежно,
Как дай вам бог любимой быть другим.
Alexander, that's the name he would take on, because once there was a man who had his heart broken by one beautiful Russian woman named Natalia too.
Maybe he'll go to Portland, visit Coulson, or whatever it is that he goes by now since his retirement from SHEILD.
Either way, when Clint Barton walked away from the exploding building with nothing but a broken, but beating, heart.
With one last glance at the Tower behind him, a worn out picture in his hand. He looked down at the murky Hudson River, sent a prayer up to whoever was listening before letting the picture sail of into the wind.
He revved up his bike and never looked back.
Aleksander Pushkin "I Loved You"
I loved you; even now I must confess,
Some embers of my love their fire retain;
But do not let it cause you more distress,
I do not want to sadden you again.
Hopeless and tonguetied, yet I loved you dearly
With pangs the jealous and the timid know;
So tenderly I love you, so sincerely,
I pray God grant another love you so.
Reviews please? I'll even take suggestions of whatever poem to use for Natasha's point of view? (: