Chapter 1

It Had been 3 whole days since I had talked to James and thats unusual. We at least talk on the phone once a day and tried to skype or face talk as well but that was'nt always possible but we do talk everyday. I had tried to call and text which I normally would't do because I know that he is busy but I wanted to talk to him. Finally I did get a text from him; James to Hannah- Im really sorry i haven't been able to talk to you. Ill call you as soon as I can. I MISS YOU! I love you Babe! :) That was two days ago. Its not easy being with someone who is so hard to talk to or even get ahold of but I do it because I love him.

Sometimes I really wish things would go back to when we were 6. Life was a lot more simpler then. Our biggest worries were; doing your homework, it was getting dark way too early or on Sundays remembering you have to go to school the next day. Now with us its; when will I talk to him for longer then three minutes, when is the next time I will see him, or what time zone is he in, can I call him? It was easier then.

~Flashback~

I was 6 when I first saw him playing outside in his backyard which backed up to mine. I had never seen him before so I knew that he was new to the neighborhood and he had just moved there. I looked over to him and waved, he gave a shy wave back. I didn't say anything I just continued to play. Later that night while eating dinner my mother said something about the new neighbors who had moved in behind us. My mother wanted us to introduce ourselves to them but my father told her that we should wait for them to get settled before we went over.

A few days later my mother told my sister and I to join her when she went over to welcome them to the neighborhood. She reminded us to be on our best behavior and to be nice (not that we really needed a reminder, my sister and I were pretty much good kids with good manners). She rang the door bell when a man opened the door. "Hi, I'm Trish and these two young ladies are my daughters; Hannah and Kristin. We live behind you, and we just wanted to welcome you and your family to the neighborhood" My mother said. "Oh Thank you, yes come in. my name is John, very nice to meet you. This is my son James, James can you say hi to Hannah, Kristin and Mrs. Trish" he said. "Hi" was all the little boy said. After a few minutes of standing there with the two adults the little boy asked if we wanted to go to his room and play. We followed him to his room which was the size of not only my room but the size of my room and my sisters put together. He had a lot of toys. We played in silence for a little while before my sister said something. " Where is your mommy?" "Heaven" was his only response. When I heard him say this, even at 6 I felt sad for him but he didn't seem sad. We continued to play quietly until my mother came in to tell my sister and I that we needed to get going to wash up for dinner. We said goodbye and left.

~End Flashback~

I was brought out of my day dream by the ringing of my phone. "Hey" I said as I answered the phone, knowing it was James. "Hi before you tell me anything I want you to know that I am so sorry that I haven't been answering, its been crazy and when I get a free second I literally fall asleep where im standing or sitting" "No, No, I understand! So how did you get free this time?" "We actually have today off so I can talk to you as long as I want" "I cant talk long I have to get back to work, but how is everything, how are the guys?" "The tours great, New York was amazing, we had two shows there and then we went straight to New Jersey. It was crazy like I said but a lot of fun. The guys are great. We are all so tired" "Ill bet, you all should be tired" "Yea! Whats it like being back to work after having all summer off" "Fine, the kids are great so far but its still early" He starts to laugh. "That will all change once they get comfortable" "oh yea, it always happens like that. Well listen Ill call you when schools over, I have to get back to work." "OK I love you!" "I love you too" As I hang up the phone I can feel a tear fall down my face and I think to myself "I cant handle this anymore, I cant!"