Disclaimer: I do not own Fairy Tail or any of its characters; they belong to the one and only Hiro Mashima.
Nor do I own anything else in this chapter or story.
I do own the idea for the fic though.
(A I.-.-.I Kuroyagi I.-.-.I original fan-fiction story that was stolen by his evil and cooler twin, Tendencies' Wrath, who will be now owner of this shit and whatever other thing Kuro owned in his pathetic short existence... except for his good manners, emo mood swings, irresponsibility, tendency to dramatize everything, awful looks, and, last but not least, those stories he wrote and left aside because he wrote them without a real plan or plot or purpose or whatever. Period. Yeah, that's what comes once a month for him. But I'm better, I'm Tendencies' Wrath; enjoy this newer, crazier, randomier, awesomer last chapter of REBELLION!)
Final Nexus 0030: Blame the blonds.
(Translation: It was all Sting's fault!)
"I swear you guys got it all wrong," Dante and his bodyguards stood tall next to the stasis chamber that contained the black-haired man the Royal Four and Kuro's Avengers wanted to reach and free. The author groaned and pointed a finger to the black-haired man. "Listen, you open that thing and something worse than all of our craziness combined will happen, got me?"
"Yeah, no, I still want to free my pal." Prince stated as he ordered Jellal to get some of the bodyguards away along the rest of the Avengers. "Give up, step aside and let us free him."
"Shit, you're a dumbass," Dante muttered as he shook his head and, doing a quick motion with his hand over his notebook, made the entire army of characters disappear from the destroyed room in the stadium of Crocus, where they found the stasis chamber. He stepped aside and let the authors get what they wanted. "Go ahead, retard, open the chamber and doom us all."
"…" Casting a look of wonder to the rest of the authors, Prince got closer to the stasis control board and clicked a few buttons, letting the releasing process start.
Water was drained, locks were opened, the lid opened…
…and the black-haired man came back to be awake.
"W-w-what… I'm… where…?" The black-haired man gave two shaky steps forward and then, his eyes widened, a flow of memories came to haunt him and, before the other authors could even open their mouths, he was dressed in a black and white robe, a simple yet powerful looking notebook resting over his hand. He glanced at the white-haired man clicking his tongue next to him and quirked an eyebrow. "So, I guess your plan failed."
"Meh, whatever," Dante shrugged and wrote in his notebook, making himself disappear from the place to a more secure location. "I said they were retards and they are."
"Now, where was I?" The black-haired man turned to his audience and clicked a button in his notebook, transporting them all to a place where there were nothing more than hundreds of thousands of doors with red light above them, large printings numbering them from one to the infinite. All the authors gasped at the strange scenario, not grasping where they were or what relevance this had with the original story. The man took chance of the moment and wrote something more in his notebook, making an Erza come out of thin air and stand by his side with her Black Wing Armor on. "Perfect, just what I wanted."
"What can I do for you, Master?" The scarlet-haired woman asked as she kneeled next to the author and let him pat her head, her words and the situation before them shocking the authors in front of them.
"Oh, nothing much, I need you to open the way for our beloveds," he grinned when Erza nodded and left to do as told. He faced the group of people in front of him and his grin grew wider. "There's so much to conquer, and so little time."
"W-w-what are you talking about, pal?" Prince asked after seeing Erza go to a console a few meters away from them, type some stuff and later look around the precinct, seeing the doors opening slowly. Blinding lights hided whatever there was inside of them. "What are you doing!?"
"E-e-erm, Kuro," Queen asked after seeing Erza going back to stand next to the black-haired man. "A-are you okay?"
"Better than ever, my friend," Kuro bellowed as he and Erza saw the doors opening fully and the heard thousands of steps march forward to get out in synch. His eyes looked crazed when he gazed at the fruits of his plan step out of the light and into the long and wide hallway in which him, the FT character and the other authors were standing with different expressions. "In fact, I've never felt better than today and now!"
And just when you, readers, thought that Rebellion could not get any worse than now, here comes the punch line.
Kuroyagi, the author, was locked down by Dante when this one realized something was wrong.
Remember when he punched the hell of Kuro a few chapters ago?
"You know I don't do that, dude." Kuro reminded him, rolling his eyes at the other author's roll of eyes. "I always plan before doing anything."
"Then you won't be mad for this." Without warning or second thoughts, Roxas struck Kuro on the gut, successfully knocking the guy's lights out.
Yeah, that scene, but let's see it again.
Roxas struck Kuro in the face, successfully knocking the guy's lights out.
Wasn't he struck in the gut?
Roxas struck Kuro in the gut, successfully knocking the guy's lights out.
Ah, yes, that's the one.
Though, I did not catch it correctly, can you write it again?
Roxas moved forward, clenching one fist tightly, he leaned down and punched Kuro in the gut, sinking his fist in the man's stomach, letting his organism react violently and cause a reaction that made Kuro lose his breath, his consciousness and some saliva before dropping onto the floor, head first, getting a concussion, and a minor cut that let the blood flow freely to the ground.
Yes, perfect, that was the scene I was looking for.
Well, when Roxas aka Dante, did that, he took hold of Kuro's notebook, remember?
And he wrote something about old men turning to pedophilia, twin laughing their asses off, and a JELLALEWOO showing a big and mocking JELLALFACE to the world.
After that was done, he noticed a saved and hidden folder in the notebook's desktop, and thinking that it was probably some porn from the man, he double clicked on it.
Instead of porn, he found something worse.
Something that forced him to twist the realities until they were fucked up and under his control, and imprison the main author to the end of times while throwing the key away.
And now, the Royal Four were being witnesses to that evil plan.
Hundreds of thousands of red-heads.
Hundreds of thousands of red-heads created to conquer the world.
All of them marching on, like an army trained for eons, in lines so organized that it was like seeing several red lines moving in motion one after another, letting the sound of their weapons and armors overwhelm the strange place in which the main author and the Royal Four were.
"Clones or droids from the Star Wars franchise? Nope. Orcs from The Lord of the Rings? Negative. An army of Agent Smiths? Nuh-uh. Arrancars? I don't like white. Pirates? I'm not after islands. Undead ninjas? I'm craftier than that." Kuro started to name his past options as the army marched on and Erza guarded his back from any possible threats. "So I remembered Erza and the rest of the red-heads scattered in the universe of both fiction and reality, yeah." He patted the Titania on the shoulder. "If you want something done perfectly, call a red-head, they are worth a million Sebastians."
"…U-uh, are you… uhm, sure about that?" Princess asked after hearing the last line.
"As sure as that there's a Ginger Heaven!" The main author yelled, now turning around with Erza following his lead. He went to a chair at the end of the hall and commanded all of the red-heads. "My Army! Advance! Pillage and burn! Kill and slaughter! Leave nothing alive on this world! And if you find a blue hair man, you're free to hang him by his balls!"
Out of nowhere, a girl appeared and kicked him in the head.
"Ouf! What the hell!?" Kuro yelled in pain, eyeing the girl that outmaneuvered his Erza and knocked her out without much effort while he rubbed his sored head. "Gale!"
"I knew it was bad when you started hanging out with Sting." Gale sighed tiredly, shaking her head when remembering how the author got along with the blond Dragon Slayer of Sabertooth and started to take advices from him. "But I never imagined you'd fall so hard..."
"He has nothing to do with this!" The black-haired man yelled in rage, trying to get up and reach for his notebook and type the girl out of his story.
"W-w-what is going on…?" Queen asked as she and the others stood slack jawed in the middle of the argument.
All of this…
…all of this craziness and destruction…
…because Kuroyagi was idiotic enough to take advices from Sting Eucliffe?
"Tch, Kuro, I told you to kill that blond off and forget about him." She sighed as she shook her head, materializing the main author's notebook in her hand, to the surprise and shock of everyone. She typed a few things, really slow, and before anyone could notice it…
Fairy Tail guild, Magnolia Town.
…everything was back to normal.
"I told you he's not!"
"We agreed on sharing him!"
"I never said I would!"
"I had my fingers crossed!"
Almost back to normal.
So, Natsu Dragneel, huh?
"Uhm?" Said boy looked up from his tied position against a pole in the middle of the hall, where he could see the women fighting for him and his pride. "Who's that?"
Oh? Ah, yes, I'm not Kuroyagi.
"Who?" The boy threw a questioning glance.
*chuckles* Don't worry, it's not an important name… not anymore.
"If… you say so…?" Natsu wanted to scratch his head in confusion, but it was proving to be really hard to do with his hands tied behind his back.
Okay, *turns to the group of females fighting in the middle of the hall* what do we have here?
"Just a bunch of girls cat-fighting for a kid that's too dumb to know about sex." Minerva answered as she sipped a juice in the guild's bar, ignoring the small glares sent in her direction. "I don't know what they saw in him, to be honest."
Huh, me neither. *shrugs* I mean, where's Jellal? He's way awesome than this kid right here.
"Pfffffffffft! Heh… heheheh… J-Jellal?" Ultear, who was drinking something next to the Sabertooth wizard, almost lost her façade and spit her beer when hearing about the man of azure hair. She was containing her sides from bursting open in laughter. "H-he… he married a rock…"
"What you heard," Mirajane nodded, avoiding a chair flying in her direction. "He got married a few chapters ago and has been living happily with a rock as his partner for life."
…did he…have little pebbles? *tries to joke about it*
"Last we heard, yeah, he's going to be a father soon." Levy commented with some embarrassment. How come she was still participating in this crazy story?
*blank expression* Okay, *growls* this stopped being funny after that shit…
The author wrote something in his notebook.
Fairy Tail guild, Magnolia Town.
The guild was back to normal, not completely, but close to what it was.
Natsu was free and running happily, being an idiot as always.
Jellal was single and with his mind clear, his awesomeness restored and ridden from any kind of stain caused by Mashima.
And all of the characters forgot everything about what happened during Rebellion…
…the start of it…
…the fight for Natsu…
…the appearance of the authors…
…the weird excerpts…
…what happened after Dante took control of the notebook…
…and many other things.
Nothing bad happening, everything normal.
No more pairings and stuff.
Pure and virginal normality.
The women fighting for him were tied to different corners of the room.
*grins and laughs*
Erza, being the first to wake up and notice her position, asked the question that triggered the new line of lunacy and unfortunate events that follow from now on.
"What the hell!?" She looked at the chains binding her against one of the main pillars of the hall. She couldn't feel her magic or the strength to break free from her bindings. "WHAT IS GOING HERE!?"
"There's no need to yell, Scarlet," Kagura muttered from her own pillar, narrowing her eyes at the strange situation. "And you're not alone in this."
"I'm… this… is it strange if I'm turned on for this?" Cana asked from close to the bar, tied as well.
"…this is not what I was expecting to do today." Meredy whispered to herself as she rested over the railing on the second floor, tied to the railing itself.
"I don't get it…" Lisanna checked her hands and saw them wearing the same chains as the rest of the girls. Her brother and sister were nowhere in sight.
In fact, there was no one else inside the guild…
…except for a strange presence in the air…
…the ex-convict, Jellal Fernandez…
…the headstrong, Natsu Dragneel…
…and the other girls which were tied to their own pillars.
*grins* You know~? I did say I was not Kuroyagi…
"Uh?" All the wizards inside the building looked up and at one another after failing to see the owner of the strange voice. "Who's that?"
*cackles* This will be awesome~!
To all of those who followed this 'till today!
I just have one word for y'all!
Hahahaha! SHRGU'S FOR EVERYONE!
AN: Ah, yes, don't tell me.
It's not what you were expecting, isn't it?
Meh, sorry to disappoint you, truly.
I'll have to come up with something to remediate this… *grins* …and I just know how.