Oh the Irony Chapter 1

Author's note:

This story will follow the light novels more than the anime.

I don't understand Japan's err, geography(?) at all, so I'm sure this first part is going to be god-awfully inaccurate. I blame it all on Google earth!

Also, I'm using the symbols that they used in the translation I read and sort of mimicking the writing style. Not sure if there are a lot of translations, but if anyone's read the novel at the same place as me, I hope you like the touch it adds. Err, so yeah. That's all I can think to say... On with the Story!

Oh yeah! I own nothing!

I pushed harder against my bike's pedals, hoping to draw just a little more speed out of my bike. I was currently heading south along the train tracks between Sakura and Saitama, in the Saitama prefecture. I swung left, headed toward the heart of the city. I was on my way home from a friend's house. He'd called me a little while earlier, saying that he couldn't put together his new «Nerve Gear».

The new device was used for playing the brand new VRMMO game, the only one of it's kind: «Sword Art Online». He'd called me around 12:30, saying he couldn't get it set up and he needed my help. The launch would be at 1:00pm and he was really worried because he wanted to be there at launch, he'd waited in line for two days just to get a copy of the game.

Well why didn't you set it up earlier? If I come help you, I won't get to play when the game opens—

Is what I wanted to say. Of course, I couldn't just ignore his request, he was an avid gamer, some even considered him an addict. He'd applied for the beta, but hadn't been picked. It was thanks to his tip-off that I went to a lottery with my sister. The grand prize was two copies of «Sword Art Online», and of course we won. Wait, that sounds strange, doesn't it? Most people don't expect to win any lottery they go to. That's the thing about my sister, she always wins. Every time. I swear.

So anyway, we have two copies at home, and we were going to play as soon as the game launched, but he called me and I couldn't let him down because if not for him, we wouldn't have the game ourselves. So, I'd gone to help him.

The thing is, I'm good with electronics. It was a breeze to set it up. The problem was, he lived clear across Saitama from me, so it took almost an hour to get there on my bike. I really pushed it and got there in a half our, just a few minutes to spare before the service started. After collapsing at his doorstep, I made my way to his room and swiftly put the machine together while he watched in wonder.

Though I say "swift," it actually took some time to put together. While I did it quickly, there were a lot of parts, and I also had to fix what he'd done wrong previously.

Because of that, it wasn't until 1:15 that I finished construction and he quickly said to me, "Thanks so much, Rikito-san! I'll see you in world!" I waited through the calibration test he did, since I wasn't sure how to do it myself and it would help me go through faster once I had to do it at home. Once finished, he laid down without another word to me. «Link Start!» He said those words with the Nerve Gear on and I swear I felt his soul leave the room then.

I'd scratched the back of my head then and muttered, "You could've at least seen me to the door first." 2:00. That's when I finally got back on my bike and pedaled toward home. Keiko was going to be really mad...

I'd been going for five minutes when I turned away from the train tracks and started my journey through the center of the city. As these thoughts went through my mind, I was distracted by the sound of a siren. I blinked and glanced around. Then I realized it was coming up on my right. Around a tight corner, an ambulance flew out from a blind spot and I had to slam on my brakes and turn my whole bike sideways to stop before it ran me down.

"Be more careful! It would be terrible for an ambulance to run someone over!" I shouted after it. "Jeez." I put my foot back to the pedal and kicked hard. The pedal spun with no resistance. "Huh?" I looked down to see the chain of my bike lying on the ground, snapped in two places. "Aaahh!" I shouted. "How am I going to get home now!?"

After a minute of panic, I got off the seat and started walking. I'd forgotten to bring my phone in my rush to get going, so Keiko was going to be furious when I finally got home. I figured I had about a three hour walk ahead of me. "Why do these things always happen..." I wondered aloud. Oh yeah, that was the other thing. I had the most God-awful luck. While Keiko could win any lottery she played, it was hopeless for me. Once, when I tried, I tripped, knocked everything over, and had to pay for the new equipment.

I continued on my way home, pushing my bike beside me.