A/N: We offer thanks to giftofamber for staying up past 1am to help with 'subject verb verb' comma mistakes. Special thanks to scribes and scrolls for helping to push this into awesomeland.
It was now evening number two in Regina's body, and Emma felt about as lonely as she had ever felt. After making a mixed cd on Regina's overpriced laptop, reheating burgers from the freezer and slathering every single condiment in Regina's fridge on the meat, she ate dinner alone.
Emma was cleaning up at the sink when a pile of Henry's schoolwork caught her eye. She suddenly wanted Henry home. Why should she have to pay for Regina's mistakes? Emma threw the rag down and stormed outside.
Thankfully, she hadn't started in on Regina's wine yet. Emma was perfectly capable of operating the crazy expensive car. She slipped in the recently made cd and grinned maniacally as 'Sabotage' ripped through the speakers. She felt like she might be acting all crazy, and why not? As the car rolled slowly through the neighborhood, people stared at her like she was a fucking psycho. All Regina had to apparently do was smile at people in Storybrooke, and they peed their fucking pants.
So while you sit back and wonder why I got this fucking thorn in my side
Oh my God, it's a mirage I'm tellin' y'all, it's a sabotage
Regina pulled a chair up next to the bed while Henry searched through his book bag and found an X-men comic, "Aren't you going to sit with me?"
Henry patted the bed beside him and scooted over to make room. Regina took a breath and carefully slid in next to him as if any sudden movement might give away her true identity. As soon as Regina had settled in, relaxing against the headboard, she crossed her legs. Emma's leather boots felt heavy on her feet. Henry snuggled up to her chest. She relaxed then, letting the weight of his head against her bring back sense memories of his young childhood before he had thought her the Evil Queen and distanced himself. She wrapped her arms around him, and exhaled in contentment as she held the comic book so they could both see.
"This one is my favorite!" Henry chortled as his small hand landed on top of 'Emma's' to flip the pages. Regina studied her hand until Henry drew her attention back to the comic. She started to read in a mock Cajun accent:
"De name's Gambit! Don't you fo'get it! This is why I left Nawlins in the first place. I don't wanna be a part of this family no more."
Henry's eyes widened and he turned to stare at 'Emma,' "You're doing the voices? You said you didn't do voices…"
Regina licked her lips nervously and shrugged, pulling Henry closer, "Oh, I guess I wanted to try."
"You did it just like mom…I mean back when she used to read to me," Henry hunched his shoulders, and Regina felt his body stiffen just a bit at her mention.
Regina couldn't take it anymore, "Do you really hate her that much?"
"She's evil," Henry said flippantly. His standard response.
"And how does she treat you that has you convinced she's so evil?" Regina asked, blood rushing in her ears, voice desperate as she feared his answer.
"She…" Henry faltered, looking puzzled, "She just is, and besides I like you better. Have you talked to Mr. Gold- I mean Rumplestiltskin-anymore about the deal?"
It was Regina's turn to falter; her tongue felt thick, "The deal?"
"Yeah, you know about how my adoption was all fake? I want to live here," Henry whined, "You don't know what she's like!"
"I do know what she's like," Regina felt tears prickle in Emma's eyes. Her cheeks got so warm and flushed when she was upset. Regina was unversed in handling Emma's emotions; she couldn't extinguish them and stomp them out like she could in her own body. It hurt.
Their discussion was interrupted by the sound of screeching tires and blasting music coming from the driveway. Regina stood up and raced to the window looking out as 'Regina' barreled up the walk screaming, "Henry!"
"I told you she was going to be mad! Mom always wants me home before dinner," Henry whined fearfully, holding onto 'Emma's' hand. Regina paused in thought. Was this how Henry really thought of her: as his jailer? She didn't have long to contemplate this thought, because 'Regina' had banged open the front door and walked inside like she owned the place. Obviously, Emma was comfortable coming and going as she pleased from her own house, but as Regina she was quite unwelcome in their home.
"She's mad! She's using magic again!" Henry squealed and hugged 'Emma' around the waist, burrowing his face into her side. Regina took off toward the noise to try and put a damper on the commotion that Emma was causing in the kitchen: The lights flickered, the microwave turned on and off, and the tea kettle whistled as water boiled inside.
'Regina' looked unhinged and panicked she was bumping around as dishes flew around controlled by magic telekinesis and shattering against the walls.
"What the devil? She's trespassing. Arrest her!" Snow tugged on 'Emma's' arm and pointed at a frantic 'Regina' who was desperately failing to control the surge of magic that had been unleashed.
Regina could barely move with Snow holding one arm and Henry glued to her side, she shook them off, and approached 'Regina' with her palms open as if trying to corner a wild animal.
"Em—um, Regina…" Regina tried to quickly think of what Emma would say in this situation, "Calm you tits…dear!" (Emma had actually told Regina to calm her tits before in one of their arguments.)
"You are not going to arrest me!" 'Regina' growled but the tone sounded indignant. Emma closed her eyes and stilled her movement, trying to get a handle on her emotions. She felt herself lift off the ground for a moment and then flutter back down landing on tottering heels. How did Regina handle these curling, strenuous emotions all of the time?
"Emma was just about to bring Henry home to you; you didn't need to come over here and barge in like you tootin' live here!" Snow crossed her arms in a huff.
Regina felt the hackles stand up on the back of her neck. If Emma wasn't in Regina's body she would revel in the pleasure of arresting her, but Regina was not willing take the blame and incur a criminal offense for Emma's misdeeds.
"We're leaving," 'Emma' decided. "Henry, get your backpack."
"Are you taking Regina to the station for booking?" Charming wandered out looking half asleep; he was wearing just his boxers and holding his sword like a baseball bat, confused by the noise and commotion. He looked back and forth between 'Emma' and 'Regina', and then at the disordered kitchen: flung open cupboard doors and knocked over pots and pans.
'Regina' looked just as dazed, staring in wonder at her tingling hands as she felt the remnants of magic suck back into her heart.
"No, we're going home," 'Emma' wrenched 'Regina' by the arm and marched her outside, calling over her shoulder for Henry.
Emma hadn't had time to hit the wine, but she felt dizzy and drunk from the burst of magic coursing through Regina's body.
To Henry it looked like Emma had just shoved Regina away from the car and into the passenger seat. Henry blinked rapidly between the two women, aghast when 'Emma' spoke up and 'Regina' awkwardly crawled into the car. Before he was able to process the exchange he felt himself pulled protectively onto his 'Regina's' lap. He was completely astounded that 'Emma' was driving his mom's car.
Henry sat up straight, feeling uneasy within 'Regina's' arms. Emma patted his hair and soothed him and in turn soothed herself. She didn't know where this need to touch and hold Henry was coming from...she felt him stiffen in discomfort, his walls closing in, fighting 'Regina's' touch. She hugged him despite his rebellion, needing the comfort like a drug.
Cause I like booty n tigg ol bittys, I like booty n tigg ol bittys I like…
'Emma' turned the knob on the radio to silence Pitbull. Henry bit his lip nervously. 'Emma' glared at 'Regina', chastising her, "you could have done serious damage. What were you thinking coming over here?"
"You didn't bring Henry home after school, and I...needed him."
Henry wrestled from her grasp, shifting as far away as he could manage.
"What are we doing?" 'Emma' asked her voice taking on a pitiful deep tone that Henry had never heard before from his birth mother.
They drove in icy silence back to Regina's.
Emma had messed up Regina's car, her son, her body, her magic, her music, and probably her house too.
She looked over at Henry, riding awkwardly on 'Regina's' lap. Emma and she were going to have a word. She gripped the steering wheel tight until her knuckles turned white, driving extra carefully hating that Henry was on loose and not buckled up.
At this point, if Regina had been herself she would turn up her radio and sing along to something loud that would make her feel better. There were few things that did these days. In fact, she'd never felt lower.
The minute they stepped foot inside the mansion, Regina yanked on Emma's elbow to pull her back from Henry.
"Get yourself together." She whispered close enough to Emma's ear so that Henry wouldn't hear.
"I don't feel great." Emma stated matter-of-factly. "I don't understand what happened back there. And I don't understand Henry…why Henry…"
"We'll talk about this momentarily." Regina finished the conversation and practically ran after Henry as he began to rummage through the kitchen cupboards.
Emma could hear the tap running. She swayed in place until Regina returned with a glass of water and an oddly concerned look on her face. Emma swatted the hand away that tried to feel her forehead.
"I'm just…" Regina huffed and tried again, this time pressing her fingers firmly to Emma's skin. "I'm trying to help. It's my body anyhow."
"It's your what?" Henry's voice carried from the kitchen. He was drinking a glass of chocolate milk and staring at them. "Did you say 'it's my booty?'" He scratched his nose and stared at Emma as she awkwardly tried to make herself at home again in Regina's skin.
"Yes, Henry, Regina has become a pirate." Regina's sarcasm earned a burst of laughter from Emma. It was just really strange to hear her own voice being so short with Henry.
That did it. Henry's eyes really got wide. His moms were not only getting along, but they were sharing a joke—and at his expense!
"Weird," He drew the word out before turning and making his way downstairs. "Can we all watch a movie?" Henry shouted.
The moment of solidarity between them was short lived. Regina had time to think about Emma's and (obviously granny Snow's) plans to wrench Henry away from her. It hit weighed her down like bricks, and she was thinking of all the hateful things she'd like to yell.
The sofa felt like an island. Regina sat at the far end with her arms and legs crossed. Staring blank faced at the movie on the screen. She would try to keep the peace until Henry went to bed. It was lucky they hadn't blown their cover to Henry yet. She could tell he was suspicious of the very fact that 'Emma' was in the house, but now he seemed unconcerned as he became absorbed in his favorite film.
"Mr. Boogedy!" Henry squealed delighted from his spot on the floor as the ugly green ghost jumped out and scared people. The movie was not on Regina's mind. The fact that she was sitting in her own house, but not in her own body had her reeling. Her thoughts flooded her, as she tried to maintain a peaceful demeanor in Henry's presence. She snuck a peek at her body plopped out at the other end of the couch. 'Regina' was slumped over, palms cradling her chin and frowning at the TV stuffing her face with popcorn that Henry had wanted, but hadn't eaten. Regina would never sit or eat like that.
"So Mr. Boogedy sure thinks he's high and mighty, doesn't he?" Emma mumbled, clenching 'Regina's' jaw and grinding down. She was tired of this pretending, even though she knew it was necessary. Regina's body never felt relaxed, and even the butter on her popcorn tasted too buttery. Was that even possible? Damned Regina's healthy loving taste buds.
"I hardly think you should be commenting on Mr. Boogedy's moral integrity at this point," Regina sassed back, thinking again about Emma's plan to steal Henry from her.
"Shh..come on, this is the best part!" Henry bounced around, his eyes widening at the sight of his mom inhaling popcorn like it was oxygen, kernels rolling down her blazer and bunching in her lap.
"Hey Mr. Boogedy!"
"Errrrrr…heh heh heh…"
Regina watched with burning disgust as Emma crammed handful after handful of the buttery stuff into her mouth. Henry finally fell asleep before the movie ended and they both got up to carry their tired child to bed.
Once he was put away and tucked in, the Henry truce ended. They reconvened downstairs and the claws came out.
"You set me up!" Emma gritted her teeth, feeling the way Regina's jaw muscles bunched and stung.
Regina stomped her foot, growling in Emma's face, ignoring her pained expression, "How long have you been cultivating a little plot with Gold to take Henry from me once and for all?"
"I wasn't going to take him, Regina, but he obviously wants to be with me- don't you see that?"
"Yes! Of course I see that…you-" Regina trailed off, her voice screeching unwillingly as Emma's vocal chords failed to hit the pitch Regina was aiming for.
"You were plotting to have me fucking killed by those fucking King wannabes! The permits would have led to some ambush, some random attack. How long were you going to wait, Regina?" Her voice choked, and she felt a surge of incredible, burning betrayal.
Regina wanted her dead. Not just asleep or enchanted or fucking cursed, but dead. And she had tried repeatedly to make the deed happen. Emma thought her heart—Regina's heart—might shatter at the realization of how little this fucking person felt for her. Emma put her hands on her own shoulders to push her back, she wanted to hit her…but not her face…it was all so fucking horrible and confusing.
Emma felt Regina's response to her words, except they were echoing from within Emma's mind. Regina Laden with regret, Regina begged, "No, I'm sorry, I promise, I didn't…"
Grief. Again, with so much grief.
Emma felt all of Regina's pulsating emotions, beneath layers of so much pain, and such fear. When she sorted through Regina's thoughts, there were flashes of images—Emma's own face, Henry's face, the two of them walking together, the betrayal and agony Regina felt when she saw it and knew…knew…
…that she was going to lose Henry to his 'real' mother.
Something else though; something worse than just realizing that Henry and Emma shared a bond: wanting.
Wanting that bond with Henry?
Knowing that Emma would never forgive her. Would leave. Leave and leave and leave again…and Emma leaving would be the worst thing for Regina possible. Then she it all: Regina's fears, hopes, dreams…Regina's mother in a barn…memories of loneliness so strong she could smell the scent of it. She felt everything Regina had experienced and underneath it all was a slow-burn of sumptuous desire for…Emma?
She stared at Regina-Emma- mouth agape, eyes wide and locked on her own, and then the view shifted and whirled There was a whooshing sound and then no sound at all, and Emma felt the familiar hug of her jeans and the way her hair brushed against her neck, and there was relief, cascading over her, calming her. She was back in her body.
She didn't mean it, she didn't want that…. she just wanted to keep…control of her…Henry. Then she saw what Emma had seen and felt: a childhood filled with waking fear and a hollowness that rivaled her own. Emma's bright glowing love for Henry, she could practically see the golden thread that tethered them together. She even felt Emma's deep vibrant love for Snow White, a sensation that almost brought her to her knees. The pain and ambivalent haze of hate Emma felt toward Regina… and the unbridled lust. Emma had cherished Regina's body…
A flash of gleaming lights tinkled in her field of vision and she was staring at Emma, tears welling unknowingly in her eyes.
She was herself and not herself. It was like a wrecking ball had bashed into her mind and cracked her open. She felt her soul flickering back and forth like a candle flame, as she stumbled forward into her own form.
Something sped by Emma, and she was staring, once again, into her own eyes from Regina's vantage point. Sound returned to the room, along with an echoing, hollow drumbeat in Emma's head.
"I have to go to bed," Emma gasped, her heart thumping hard against her rib cage.
"Wait!" Regina leaned forward, taking Emma's hand. "We switched back! Just then, didn't you see it?"
Emma nodded silently. She clutched Regina's hand for a second before letting it go.
"I know your heart now," Regina stated in amazement, a smile flickering on her lips from the adrenalin rush.
It was incredibly bizarre, for Emma, to see her own eyes staring at her with such empathy—such compassion. It stole Emma's breath for a moment. She wanted to apologize to and forgive Regina more than anything, "Regina, you're so…"
"We just have to get into another screaming match and maybe we'll switch back permanently?" Regina laughed from overflowing energy as she pressed her hand to her forehead. "We'll try again, all right?"
Emma lost her nerve; it was too much to deal with. The one eighty turn of her feelings, all topsy turvy and disoriented was an overload. All Emma wanted were things to make sense. She wanted things to go back to how they used to be. Easy. Black and white.
"In the morning?" Emma asked weakly. "Please. Please, I just need some time. And rest, I need some rest." She didn't want to cry in front of Regina, but dammit, she worried she might.
Regina nodded and slowly made her way to her bedroom absorbed by her confusing thoughts. She paused in the doorway and turned surprised to see Emma had followed her.
"I want to sleep in here," Emma said blinking rapidly and pouting.
"I don't think that's wise…I need some space…to think about what's happened here," Regina spoke in almost an apologetic tone.
"Your bed is plenty big…you could still have space and keep an eye on your body?" Emma tried again to convince her. She just felt like their bodies and minds shouldn't be apart from one another for a moment longer.
"I'm done discussing this. You are welcome to select one of the guest rooms. Goodnight," Regina slammed the door effectively ending the conversation, but unable to shut out the lingering doubt in her mind.
Regina's room was spacious and she enjoyed the comfort of familiarity...until she saw her open dresser drawers, her camisoles spewed out, and her unmade bed. It looked like Emma had been rolling in her sheets!
She willed herself to tamp down her anger and think. She went about putting her room back to order. She always got stuck cleaning up after Emma, but she almost didn't mind Since there was hope. They had switched back...only for a second, but that meant there was a way back for good.
Reversing the spell had not worked, but their shared rage for one another had almost worked...where was the root of this switch? Was it just their minds that switched? She obviously had Emma's brain...was it their souls? Emma had told her once that she had no soul. Oh, to prove her wrong.
Regina lay down in the mess of crumpled sheets, too exhausted to bother changing them. She had experienced Emma's thoughts, her feelings, even her desire. She knew her heart now, and Emma knew hers. A twinge of panic sparked through her, she was so comfortable denying her feelings that to have them pulled from her like a stubborn stray thread hurt. It was, after all, the reason she had concocted the spell to erase Emma in the first place. Denial, out of sight out of mind. Regina almost laughed in pity for her blight: she was ensconced in Emma: fully in sight, wholly in mind. The detail she hid from herself was that she liked it this way.
There were some things she could control still. She needed that control back. She needed to exercise her free will, to make sure she still had some power over her circumstance.
There it was again, that desire: spreading over her body hot and itchy. A rash. God damn, Emma's body was on some sort of preprogrammed sex clock. She would not give in tonight. She could control this...body. Her fingers flexed, she tossed herself onto her stomach feeling restless and unfulfilled. The same as always.
Emma wasn't the best at processing experiences that were out of her control. She had had so many of them in her life that she found it best to take the alcoholic "one day at a time" approach and focus on the small things. She couldn't deal with her own emotions let alone Regina's and she felt herself shut down.
She forced herself to wander back toward the hallway washroom when she realized that she hadn't brushed yet. Regina had, of course, stocked the guest room with a handful of brand new toothbrushes and toothpastes (plural because she apparently thought her guests should choose).
In addition to wondering just when Regina ever had any guests, Emma started to wonder about Regina's general approach to oral care. She had really pretty teeth. Emma poked at them and grimaced in the mirror. No cavities! How had 'Fairytale' land produced teeth whitening and cavity protection? Emma ran her tongue over her teeth and noted as well, the fullness of Regina's lips. They were really pretty also.
Pretty and really kissable.
Emma pursed Regina's lips—they were still sort of Regina's—and pouted in the mirror. She ran her tongue back up and over that scar again and hummed aloud.
Damn. Regina Mills was hot as fuck.
The annoying nagging ache between her legs was growing. There was no way she'd be able to sleep with all that going on inside her body. She had felt Emma's desire when they had switched back: hovering in the ether. It was intangible and unrelenting. Regina finally decided to get up and take a cold shower. Perhaps that would calm her enough to rest and forget for a blissful moment.
Her shower felt nice. It had a stronger water pressure than the one at Snow's house, and here she had her body wash and shampoo. Even if Emma had a slightly different hair type she wanted to smell like herself tonight. The water was so warm and….it would be so easy to try that little trick again. Emma's body enjoyed a generous capacity to cum so easily while standing with the shower head between her legs. How lucky for her. No one would know, and it would make her feel so much better….it certainly couldn't hurt.
Exiled to the guest room of her choice, Emma wandered as far from Regina and Henry's part of the house as she could. She chose a room which looked almost like a second master suite. It had carpet, which was unusual, but the cream colored softness beneath her feet was comfortable. The duvet was a dark lush green and the curtains had ivy patterns, which added to the atmosphere. Emma almost felt as though she were out amidst the old growth forest in the area. She sat on the bed and bounced, holding her glass of wine away from her and grinning as it sloshed about. Then she remembered the cream colored carpet and held her damn glass still.
The bathroom had an enormous Claw foot tub, finished with copper on the outside. She undressed quickly and cranked the water while exploring the rest of the room. There wasn't much else to find. Just an empty dresser and a cute little antique table near the window.
Padding around naked in Regina's body was as luxurious as it was completely naughty. Emma smoothed a hand over her hips and then her ass and patted herself there. She didn't care if she looked ridiculous. Fuck Regina. Fuck Regina and fuck…just…Emma searched for the angry words inside her head. She settled on saying "pffft!" aloud and chugging the rest of her wine before realizing that the guest bath had no towels.
She wrapped herself in a sheet and hurriedly ran through the house back to Regina's room. She'd just pop in the bathroom and snag one towel. Regina was probably already asleep…
She took in a shuddering breath, spreading her legs apart; She bent forward and leaned against the glass shower door. Her right hand rotated the wand of the shower head in little circles as she experimented with the directness of the pressure.
"Oh, Fuck…Emma," she breathed as her hand slid down the glass. Emma felt young and tight. She hung her head, tensed her muscles, and held her breath to heighten her pleasure. Emma's body responded so beautifully to each tiny movement or change. She circled again and found a new position, just to feel the difference. She stood upright and placed one leg on the edge of the tub, twisting Emma's right nipple with her free hand. Tingles shot straight to her pussy. She threw her head back and hissed as she came: wide and open, "Emma!"
Emma stood just outside the entrance to Regina's bathroom.
Huh, was Regina calling for her? She peeked inside, snagging a towel as she went, only to see the silhouette of her body moving in a very distinct manner.
Emma's mouth went dry as she ran back to her room. She wasn't even sure she saw what she thought she saw…but she did see it. Regina masturbating with the shower head…she'd probably claim she was trying to "switch" them back.
Emma returned to her guest room, and immediately crawled into the big claw foot tub.
The water was too hot so she stood and flipped the cold tap up. There was an enormous mirror, across from the tub, that showed her every angle of Regina's body from the front.
"Nice." Emma nodded appreciatively. In the softer lighting of this particular room, Regina's skin and musculature and curves were beautifully accentuated. The light in the downstairs bathroom, and to a certain degree in Regina's own bathroom, could be harsh at times. This lighting gave fuller effect. Emma lowered herself into the tub and ducked her head under.
She kept her bath short because she knew that her drunken state might lead to napping, which wouldn't be safe in this tub. Without much toweling off, she climbed out, walked back into the bedroom, and unceremoniously flung herself onto the bed.
Emma could not get her argument with Regina out of her mind. She harrumphed and rolled around on silken sheets, settling on her stomach.
Without meaning to, at first, she started rocking her hips, the way she always did when she just couldn't sleep. Then, absolutely intentionally, she spread her legs and created more friction.
She reached down between her legs and lowered her forehead onto the pillow. It didn't help when she tried to speed things up, and the harder she rubbed Regina's clit, the less inclined she was to actually cum. So she had to slow down and explore a little. Emma even experimented with knees up, knees down, and whether Regina's body could cum with one arm bracing herself up. And…
This she liked. Emma gritted her teeth and grasped the headboard with her left hand while her right went to work.
Still, she had to go slowly. A sheen of sweat covered her chest while she stroked and pinched and circled Regina's absurdly sensitive and yet demanding clit. Even Regina's clit was demanding!
Emma laughed breathlessly. She rocked her hips forward, dug her knees into the bed, and then slipped a finger inside herself, using her palm to grind against her clit. Regina's clit. Whatever! Emma giggled again.
She suddenly imagined herself back in her own body. Which led to thoughts about being here, now, with Regina in her own body as well. The thought of fucking Regina just like this, on all fours, pushed her over the edge.
Her first orgasm hit her hard and she could only bury her face in the pillow and ride it out as quietly as possible.
The frustration and anger that followed surprised Emma.
Tears rolled from the corners of her eyes, stinging on their way down. She reached between her spread thighs and started again. There was so much pent up energy in Regina that Emma just wanted to either fuck it out of her or cry it out—or both, apparently. She stopped, sniffled and swiped the backs of both hands over her cheeks.
A few deep breaths later, and Emma was calmer. She turned onto her side and watched lights move outside the window. Every time a car passed, the shadows changed on the walls.
She wondered, not for the first time, if they were really stuck in each other's bodies. They would have to move in together, not only to share custody with Henry, but to get Regina out of Snow White's home. Emma didn't fully trust Regina's ability to remain calm for much longer around her former nemesis.
Would they tell anybody? Would they at least tell Snow and Henry? Would either of those two forgive them for the previous 48 hours—for lying. Emma hadn't lied to her mother and son before, not really, certainly not like this. Lying to protect Regina as much as herself? Well that…that would confuse Henry and Snow even more.
She fell asleep wondering which of the two would be angriest. When she dreamed about Henry, he was only angry because his ears were dirty and nobody had helped him to clean them.
"Clean your own ears kid, jeez," Emma could be heard muttering in her sleep…
She slept feeling delectable and sound, awakening refreshed and rested. She was eager to get up and work on switching back. Maybe if they hit each other or if Emma slammed her against a wall just like old times… that might work?
First she realized Henry might have some questions if he found Emma in Regina's room. She raced down the hall, looking for wherever Emma had taken her body to sleep. She flung open the door and was greeted to the sight of her body completely naked and ass up on the bed.
By morning, dreams of swamplands and alligators replaced Emma's anxiety dreams about parenting. An alligator in a fur coat was just discussing American politics with her when Regina showed up.
"What. The. Hell." Regina stepped right on the poor little gator's head!
"Huh?" Emma asked.
"Why. Are. You. Naked?" Regina was hissing now, like a snake. "Wake up!"
Then a snake flew from Regina's mouth and hit Emma in the arm repeatedly. She screamed and sat bolt upright.
"Ah!" Emma screamed again. Right beside her, in bed, up close and personal, was Regina, still in Emma's own body! Regina was hitting her, right in the arm, with a closed fist and everything. "Ow!" Emma shouted. "Ow, ow, stop it, fuck, stop it!"
"Shhhhhh!" Regina clamped her hand over Emma's mouth. "Henry will be awake in twenty minutes." She whispered loudly, shoving her face right into Emma's. It was kinda like that time Emma had shoved Regina against the shelf in the hospital supplies closet, except they were in bed. And Regina's body was bared for both to see, because during the night, Emma had kicked the covers off completely.
"Mmmmmph!" Was all Emma could say against her own hand.
"Get into my bedroom." Regina pulled her hand away at last. "I'll be leaving now. I need a change of clothes." She stared mournfully over her shoulder and sighed.
"Sorry. Kay." Emma muttered.
Regina's eyes scanned her own body, checking for damage most likely. Emma gave her the most scathing look she could muster.
"I'll do your makeup before I go. And your hair." Regina decided. "Quickly!" She clapped her hands together. "Chop, chop!"