Title: Trivial 58: The Gross-Out Factor
Author: Kel
Pairing: Clark/Lex
Rating: R for subject matter
Spoilers: Not a one
Warnings: Um... might gross a few of you out. For the rest... read. Drink. read.
Summary: In Which Clark discovers the newest fad diet and consults Lex.
Notes: Many many thanks to Joshikins, who gave me the url for the article. Thanks also to Carolin who pointed out that it sounded trivial to her. Finally, thanks to Jeff for pointing out that you could mix a salad in, for Christ's sake. :)
URL: http://ncbuy.com/news/wireless_news.html?qdate=2002-11-20&nav=VIEW&id=09136I5C1UF021120



"That's completely disgusting, Lex!"

"You must have gotten my email."

"That's gross."

"It wasn't my idea."

"It's *still* gross."

"You've got to admit it's unique."

"Okay, first of all... yuck. Second off... eww. And do you realize how gross it'd be to drink it cold? You'd have to get it hot from the source, and that's just... I love blowing you, Lex, but I don't think I could do it for three meals a day, you know?"

"You could mix in a salad or a banana smoothie."

"Greens and a shake made from a huge phallic fruit?"

"It's better than three meals of semen."

"Would you *stop* saying that!"

"What, semen?"

"No! Three meals of it! That's... ick!"

"Not that you need to go on a diet, Clark, but I'd like to point out that you get your daily dose of vitamin S."


"I don't think I've ever seen you that shade of green unless you're around meteor rocks."

"I'm just thinking."


"Three meals a day for thirty days... that's ninety different blowjobs. And will it be the same guy or a bunch of different guys or a group that takes turns or what?"

"I don't know, Clark, I didn't think that hard about it."

"It's just... it's a gross thought."

"It's nutritious. And delicious."

"Yeah, I saw, it has zinc and things in it. That doesn't change the fact that it's gross."

"I certainly hope she's a swallower."

"She'll have to be."

"You don't have a problem there."

"Neither do you."

"So do we start this diet?"

"I don't think the cafeteria would approve of that bag lunch, Lex."

"So I'll bring it by fresh."

"That's... no. A nice thought, but... no."

"Clark... are you turning down the chance to help me test this theory?"


"That this diet can be good for you."

"Well... if it's for the good of science..."

"It is."

"Okay. Your lab?"

"Please, Clark... after you."

The End