Lately I have been seeing things. Diva tells me that they aren't really there. She's more optimistic than I am though. I believe that these things are a part of me.
Except for these very disturbing things I see and sometimes hear, I live in peace with my family. My mom and dad and twin sister diva.
I am happy. I am very happy and yet I am still plagued by images of blood and murder. I know that no one would believe me but I tell diva. I tell her everything.
"I'm telling you saya, you worry too much." diva sat on the floor, combing and braiding a dolls Hair. "whatever you are seeing is just... Just a condition or something."
"a condition?" I laid on the bed and had my eyes on the ceiling. "I don't think so diva. I feel as if these things have happened."
She laid the doll down and picked up another. "you're just not getting enough sleep. Just take it easy."
I sat up and watched her groom her dolls gently and carefully. "It's not sleep. I'm telling you that there is seriously Something wrong here."
She lined her dolls up and studied them closely. "you are just being paranoid. Maybe you are just tired of this quiet life."
"I really don't think so diva."
"then what do you want me to say saya?!" she turned around to me. "you are usually so calm. I should be the one freaking out. Not you."
I was taken aback by her sudden outburst but I agreed. Our parents have always set us apart by our personalities. I was laid back while diva was the obvious attention seeker.
"I'm sorry... You are right. This isn't like me at all. I don't want to worry you." my apology was sincere but it wasn't what a truly felt.
She seemed taken aback that I apologized. "no. It's okay. I guess I'm just used to you being completely sure of yourself. I rely on that."
We smiled at each other. Our way of silently acknowledging how the other felt.
"girls!" our mothers voice called from downstairs. "dinner is ready!"
Diva was up on her feet in a second. "food! I'm starving! Come on saya!" she was gone out the door before I even realized it.
'yeah yeah.' I was hungry but I needed a second to myself. I went to the bathroom and splashed water on my face. I really needed to pull myself out of this. Whatever 'this' was.
As I turned the water off and I mellowed out in the silence, i still felt very insecure. What was I going to do about this? I couldn't talk to diva about it anymore.
'what?..." I looked up in the mirror at the sound of a voice. I have heard it before. A familiar voice of a man. It was soft but it seemed sad like always.
I stared into my reflection. Into my own eyes but those eyes couldn't be mine. These eyes glowed a bright red. My white skin was covered in the same color. 'is that blood? Not again...'
I looked away in fear that I may throw up. I couldn't get used to the sight of blood and yet I keep seeing it appear on my body. Blood kept appearing everywhere. So much blood.
Almost losing it, I escaped the bathroom and joined my family for dinner but there was no way I could stomach anything now.