Dreams- Shadows of Light

(Xentrya)

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Xena: Warrior Princess. They belong to Studio USA and Renaissance Pictures. No profit has been made from this story, damn!

1 DREAMS ...

I always dream about him...Even when the fact that I hate his guts is as clear as daylight, I can't seam to completely get him out of my system...We fight almost every day, we curse each other, inflicting wounds that are deeper and definitely more painful that one could ever imagine, slashing the already thin shields of our souls and cutting right through them , aware that it would only hurt like Tartarus for a very long time.

...Invisible tears fall after each confrontation, vainly trying to ease the agonizing sufferance, to extinguish the consuming flames of remorse frustration and longing that are cremating our hearts inside our furnace like chests, but it's always too late...there's no way to take back what we've screamed at each other. Somehow, the words never fail finding a way to glue themselves to our souls and minds, sticking there like permanent tattoos that only vaguely fade over the years, their contours, even if slightly achromatized, holding their ground to constantly remind us about past mistakes and unfulfilled wishes, acting like some sort of heavy anchor that refuses to let us move on just as it doesn't allow us to go back and mend what we've said and done...

But when night comes, when the last flicker of threatening light has crawled to die at the edge of the mortal realm, he's forever around to haunt my dreams, in some peculiar way always giving me reasons to live, to keep facing the apparently useless day unfolding before my eyes in a matter of hours.

Even tonight, as I close my eyes, and my thoughts start sliding into blankness, letting the undefeatable army of dreams and illusion to gradually take over, I can feel his presence again...in my head this time, but he's there, he never leaves...I guess I wouldn't want him too, either.

This time, the whirl of involuntary memories plunges me deep into a not very distant past, and through the rough fabric of sleep that had numbed my body to any outside reality, my overly exhausted brain starts projecting the images of a rather distressing occurrence that, even after all these years I still can't make up my mind if I want to remember or not...

No time to debate too much about it though, since I suddenly find myself transported into a clearing...a very familiar place I might add, and, as I take a long look around me, I can't shake the feeling that I've been here before...A brief glance to my left and I can see parts of my armor scattered into the grass, and as I instinctively take a better look at myself, I see that I'm wearing nothing but my shift...

As I carefully begin scanning the premises, paying considerably more attention to details this time, I suddenly feel two strong arms enfolding affectionately around my waist and my heart skips a beat as I hear a very comforting voice whispering against my ear:

"Are you by any chance looking for me?"

Despite myself, I can't hold back a warm smile teasing my lips, and , turning around to face the one holding me, I just casually wrap one hand around his neck as I allow the other to roam freely on the surface of his perfectly sculpted chest, and I almost give in the desire to kiss him , but not before I murmur seductively in return:

"I was starting to miss you already..."

I don't have to act in any way though, he just does it for me, and when his lips finally press to my own again, I can genuinely feel a very unusual tenderness fill me inside out, along with a sensation of utter freedom that I haven't experienced for a very long time now...I almost feel pure again, my hands no longer stained with the darinless stains of crimson blood dripping from the eternally dying bodies of my cort├Ęge of victims, my heart unchained from that never ending darkness that had held it captive for so long...

As the kiss breaks and we gently pull apart, I just chuckle softly before inquiring , a mischievous tone in my voice:

"So did the mighty Hercules find the lake? I almost feared that you might have gotten lost into the woods..."

"Well, I would have certainly cried out for help before nightfall! Luckily I have the fearless Warrior Princess around to save me from the big bad wolf, you know, just in case..." he replies, bemused by my previous remark, pulling me into a more demanding, passionate kiss this time, our tongues entwining, exploring, fighting for possession of each other's mouths, our teeth playfully biting and teasing.

And right out of nowhere, without any prior warning, he hastily lifts me off the ground as if I weight noting at all, seemingly lacking the slightest intention to break the kiss too, and the scene is absolutely breathtaking. I literally feel like I've been magically transformed overnight in some sort of fairytale Cinderella- currently taken to bed by her own unbelievably handsome Prince Charming that has just saved her from the selfish, evil step mother.

The next thing I know, in between giggles and broken pieces of conversation, he lays me on the soft, swaying grass, leaning over me to pick up from where we've just left off minutes ago, our greedy hands desperately trying to claim possession of the others' body, his fingers already unlacing the fastenings of my leather shift while mine have skillfully started undoing the ones of his pants, both of us panting, groaning and moaning heavily, and, out of breath as we are , completely entranced by the overwhelming effect of our kisses and caresses, we almost rip each other's clothes off, as the classical method of getting rid of them just seams to be taking too long...

In the heat of the moment though, we pull back for a minute to look each other in the eyes again, and we just start laughing without saying one more word, as we realize that we're acting like two horny teenagers that have sneaked out to be together- the thought instantly makes the demi-god's visage shine even brighter then before...

We could take it slower I guess, enjoying it more, loosing ourselves gradually into the other's murmurs and wanting grinding, but that's close to impossible given the fact that, the erotic sensation of his thumb brushing the surface of my lips and that piercing gaze coming from his equally cerulean eyes makes my body burn like a flame...

Still, despite the obvious shivers of pleasure traveling up and down my spine, something in the back of my mind stops me from fully savoring the sweetness of his every kiss and the suavity of his touches...

Inhaling deeply, I firmly close my eyes, vainly attempting to block whatever is holding me back , aware that, besides satisfying my own selfish needs, I do owe this man everything that I am right now, and along with it, the chance to a new, better life, his compassion and patience having revealed me the trace of a different path to follow, my rebirth if you will...The least I can do is to make him feel the same mixture of joy, serenity and boundless outbreak that I'm feeling right now.

...And thus, I give myself to him, for what I already know to be one single night, body and soul, determined to let him heal all those emotional wounds and scars that I haven't even known were there until I felt them vanish like a trail of smoke under the surreal effect of his whispers and thrusts...

He's inside me now, plunging deeper and deeper, making my body tremble with each move , and I can hear him grunt lowly against my ear, getting me more and more aroused by the second, despite the fact that simultaneously, my heart stings harder and harder as the dark shade of guilt and utter betrayal starts poisoning my mind, feeding my brain with the still fresh images of an unimaginably sad and disappointed War God's gaze fixing me intensively before it exploded with fury and revolt as I told him that I was deliberately giving up on everything that still bounded me to him...

..."And this was just a few hours ago...", I murmur silently inside my clouded mind, as Hercules almost reaches his climax, my muscles tightening unbearably hard around his cock, and I can't hold it any longer- the tension, the ecstasy the regret, the disgrace- I just let them all out in the form of an almost savage "Gods yessssssssss!" scratching his back uncontrollably as my nails dig deep into his flesh.

We're both out of breath now, and, seconds after our lips brush lightly again, I finally rest my head on his chest, my body tightly wrapped in between his strong arms, waiting for the reminiscent effects of that unearthly orgasm to run off.

I almost smile. I'm almost ready to let each and every muscle of my body relax, determined to leave the past behind at least for the rest of the afternoon, letting that new found peace to wash over me completely...It's impossible though, cause, right out of nowhere I instantly feel it, so strong, so overwhelming- his dark, unmistakable presence , making blood literally freeze inside my veins...And it's not fright I feel, it's pain, agonizing pain as if somebody had ripped the heart out of my chest, slicing and burning it at the same time.

As realization hits me with the force of a massive rockslide, I can barely pull a gasp of air inside my lungs...Ares...he's here...he...

Through our bond I can sense his immeasurable sufferance too, invading even the last cell of my body, choking me...And then all of the sudden he's gone...leaving but a trace of horrible emptiness inside my shattered soul.

"Xena? " Hercules askes, cupping my chin to lift my head up."Is everything all right?"

I give him a faint smile, but a smile nonetheless.

"Everything's perfect" I whisper back, swallowing hard...

As I burry my head back in his chest he fails to see the tears streaming down my face...