A/N: So this has actually been sitting around in my head for a couple days. It came about after seeing a little comic of Frigga, Loki and Thor. And my own personal question of where is Baldur in all the mess. Yes I know the mythology and what's in the comics, but what I am curious is where Baldur in the universe of the Thor movie was? Did or does he exist?
You can kind of count this as my own personal head canon as to the Baldur question, along with several other head canons, and my feels created by that little comic.
Story is not beta'd. I just wrote it on the fly.
Also I realize in the Marvel Comics Baldur is spelled Balder. I'm calling artistic license - to me Baldur looks better. Also you can follow me on tumblr at box-full-of-cats, my personal blog, or my writing blog at addieswords.
Sons of Frigga
Baldur had been a beautiful baby. He looked a great deal like Thor save that his hair had more a curl to it, like his mother's. Frigga had loved him at first sight of course, Odin look proud upon seeing his son for the first time. Thor was only a year old when he was born, a second child coming so soon was a great surprise to Odin and Frigga, and had been mildly upset that his parents were no doting on him all the time.
It had been devastating then to learn that there was something wrong with her little boy. The healers liked to use long and lengthy explanations for his condition but Frigga's mind simplified it down to one phrase: there was a hole in his heart. No healing stone or potion could cure such a defect.
For their part the healers did all that they could for him. Short of finding a replacement, and none was to be found, there was not much they could really do save to prolong his short life with a little magic and make him comfortable until his time came.
Baldur's eyes had begun to change from that misty blue that most baby's had to more a pale green by the time he was four months. Frigga would wonder later how genetics had allotted him that eye color.
The little prince, her little Baldur would see his six-month birthday before passing away. It happened while he was sleeping. She had put him down for a nap, for she allowed no wet nurse or nanny to steal what little time she had with her son, and when he did not wake at his normal time she found his little eyes close, hiding those pale green eyes that had just started to emerge. He was cold to the touch, little pink cheeks having lost their color.
Both Odin and Frigga wept for their little baby. Thor was still too young to understand. All he knew was that Bal, as he called his brother and his bassinet were no longer in his parent's chambers and for some reason that made them sad. He cried because Baldur could never play with him now.
Thor was two and a half when word came to Frigga that Odin was returning. He had obtained the Casket of Winters, the Jotunn's source of power. King Laufey was defeated, the war ended. When a servant came to her and asked that she meet her Husband-King in their personal chambers she thought it slightly peculiar but complied nonetheless. Perhaps Odin did not know she that she knew about the loss of his eye. Perhaps he was just trying to prepare her in private.
Nothing could prepare her though for what her husband actually had in store for her, for their family.
Odin was not accompanied by an entourage as he entered their chambers. He looked like had come straight from the Bifrost. His armor was dirty and stained, the wound where his right had looked to be hastily bandaged up, and in his arms was a mass of cloth.
Her husband seemed anxious, which made her anxious for he never was, and worried as he approached her, greeting her with a kiss.
"I know we said that we would wait, that we would not try again so soon after Baldur," Odin said, his voice catching has he said his late son's name. He rarely spoke it. "But I could not leave him behind, my love, not after…not after our son."
Frigga stood there, her heart pounding in her chest. What was he talking about? Had he fathered a bastard? She knew it wasn't uncommon for kings in the past to seek another's bed but she did not think Odin would do something like this.
Her last thought was half-right.
Odin pulled back the cloth to reveal a little baby. The hair on his head, while sparse, was dark, his skin pale and milky. It was his eyes though, his eyes that caught hers and held them. They were green, not like Baldur's whose had been the color of new spring grass. This child's eyes were like the finest emerald you could only hope to find.
"He's is Laufey's son, a bastard and abandoned in their temple as a sacrifice due to his size," Odin continued. The babe looked at her husband and seemed to smile at him, the corner of Odin's mouth quirked. "I could not leave him, Frigga; I could not leave him behind and let the Frost Giants sacrifice this child."
Frigga pulled her eyes from the child's to look at her spouse. "If he is a Frost Giant, then why does he not look like one?"
He actually did smirk this time; oddly enough the child in his arms would have this same smirk when he grew older. "He was the most handsome shade of blue, wailing on their altar, and as soon as I placed my hands on him his skin changed from ice blue to the color of snow. He stopped his weeping and just stared at me. It was instinctual shape shift magic, rare for Aesir or Jotunn."
Her blue eyes traveled back down to the child and then to her husband. The Frost Giant child had already captured his heart. So this child was to be a part of their lives then.
"Are we to take him in as a fosterling, then? I assume you will want him raised within the palace," she did her best not look at those emerald eyes that seemed to keep trying to catch hers. "We will have to find trusted guards assigned to him as I don't think many will be happy to have a Jotunn –"
"No," Odin interrupted her, his voice firm.
When he spoke next, his voice was softer but still held that kingly authority. "My wife, my queen, I wish to raise him as our own son, alongside Thor."
Her heart seized. No, she couldn't allow another child into her heart, not after Baldur. She had told Odin that she wished to wait to bear more children but the truth was that she did not want any more children, did not want to open her heart again only to have it broken when that child fell through her fingers.
Frigga's eyes locked with Odin's one good eye. "I – I don't know. I don't think I'm ready."
The All-Father's mind was set though. "He shall be a Prince of Asgard, a brother to Thor. "Make arrangements for a wet nurse to be found for him."
As if sensing Odin's wishes and Frigga's hesitation on touching the child a servant woman entered the room. Odin handed the child to her. Her husband spoke with the woman as Frigga turned away.
Her husband may declare this child as theirs but she was not going to claim it. Her heart could no survive it should anything happen to him. Loving Thor was enough for her.
The servant woman departed with the babe Frigga turned back to her husband and asked, "How shall we break it though that we have adopted a Frost Giant? I don't see many being please."
Odin stood straight, his back ridged as he answered, "They will not know, as far as the people of Asgard are concerned he is our flesh and blood."
Despite his serious tone and stance Frigga thought him joking. "Then how shall we explain my lack of girth for the past few months? Where shall we say he came from?"
As it turned out explaining their new son's sudden appearance was easier then she thought. It was explained away that the queen, after the loss of Baldur, had hidden her pregnancy and birth of the child until it was confirmed that he would live a healthy life.
Odin had decided upon the name Loki for the Jotunn infant. Frigga did not call him such because placing a name to the child would only make it harder later.
Despite Frigga's hesitance towards him she did not agree on keeping his true origins from him but went along with her husband for now. It was hard to dwell on such matters though as she was to occupied trying to distance herself from the baby.
Thor was hesitant at first, worried that this new little brother would go away as Baldur did. When Thor put his face too close to Loki's once and he managed to grab a lock of her son's blonde hair the young prince grinned.
"Mother, Loki and I gonna has lots of fun!" Thor shouted. This had startled Loki, who began to cry. It didn't faze Thor as he followed his brother's nanny around the room, who was trying to calm the little prince, and he told Loki of all the adventures they would have together.
She heard the servant women's whispers. That she was suffering from the depression that sometimes happened after women gave birth. Frigga wanted to scream at them that he was not her child, that she did not want any more children, and that her husband brought a stray home and she was being forced to claim him.
She was Queen of Asgard, wife of Odin, and instead she held her head high and did her best to give off the appearance that the words fell right off her back.
It was a few months since Odin had brought the Frost Giant child into their home, since Thor would run through the halls to stop and tell anyone and everyone about his new brother, and since the child was stationed in a bassinet in an antechamber like Baldur had not so long ago.
Odin had taken Thor with him on an errand that took him out of the city. Many of the courtiers were missing as well, taking this opportunity to spend the day outside in the lovely weather.
Frigga had taken the opportunity to spend the day reading by a window.
When the servant rushing in a panic she immediately set her book aside and sat up. "What is it?"
The servant woman took deep gulping breaths. "It's the prince, my lady."
"Thor?" Frigga asked, confused.
"No my lady, Prince Loki, you must come quickly. I fear he some evil sorcerer has cast a spell upon him."
"He's blue, my lady, blue as the sky."
She wanted to tell the woman that of course he was blue, he was Jotunn but she knew her husband's wishes to keep that fact hidden for now. "Let me see him."
"My lady, I advice you not to touch him less the curse pass on to you."
Frigga shot the woman a look, "He is not cursed."
The woman led her to the child's room. In his bassinet the little babe wailed and wailed. Frigga hesitantly walked toward him, the servant not far behind. "Careful, my lady," she whispered.
His little face was scrunched up in displeasure as tears streamed down his face. His cheeks looked purple, if only because the angry blush that turned them so.
"What shall we do?" the woman asked. "Shall I send a messenger to recall the All-Father?"
Frigga took several moments before answering, words her husband had spoken when he first present the child to her ran through her mind. "No. Leave me."
"My queen?" the woman looked at her, confused.
"What I need to do needs to be done in private, please leave me. I don't wish to have an audience."
The woman's eyes went wide. "Oh, but my lady, Queen, you aren't going to –"
Frigga rounded on the woman, "I am not going to harm him, you twit, now please leave!" She rarely spoke harshly to any of the servants. The woman only squeaked and fled the chambers.
The little Jotunn still wailed.
"Shh, shh, child," she said as she hesitantly picked him up. As Odin had explained to her when he first returned from Jotunheim the child's flesh turned from ice blue to pale milk in color. The little raised ridges that she saw dance across his face and arms lowered, and his bright red eyes turned to emerald green.
"There, all better," she said, allowing herself to hold him for a moment before he tried to nestle against her. "I'm sorry little one." She began to lower him but he started to wail again, turning blue once her hands left him.
She looked to the door and back at him. Sighing she picked him up, once again the blue faded away and he stopped crying.
That's when his green eyes caught hers as she brought him to her. They looked as if he was trying to find something. He was fed, he was changed, what more could a babe want?
Is that not what all babies wanted? Here was this child, an unwanted bastard of a king, left to die because of his size. Frigga then began to wonder where his birth mother in all of this was. Where was she, how could she allow such things to be done to her child, regardless of his size or not?
She had seen the lines that had danced across his face; she knew what those lines meant. His mother had no doubt worked in the temple where he had been left to die, for his did no resemble what Frigga knew to decorate the upper warrior class. How could his mother watch her son die?
Was she, Queen of Asgard, no better then this absent mother? Denying this child a chance at love? Yes, she was not leaving him out in the cold of Jotunheim but was not refusing to care for him not the same?
The walls that Frigga carefully constructed around her heart came tumbling down. She held Loki to her and wrapped her arms around him. No she would see that he would know a mother's love. Frigga would do her best to see that he would want for nothing, material or emotionally. She knew she could not protect him from everything but by the Nine Realms she would do her best.
You do not come between a mother and her child.
When Odin finally returned home the same servant that had reported to Frigga Loki's change in skin tone sought him out.
"I fear something has happened to her, to them, All-Father," the woman explained as she hurriedly led her king to Loki's chambers. "I fear the curse may have spread from mother to son."
They reached the doors that Frigga and Loki were behind, "My son is not curse." He looked the woman over with his one good eye. "Have you told anyone else what has befallen my son?"
She shook her head. "No, my king, none save your wife."
"Then you shall speak of this to no one, do I make myself clear?" The woman nodded. "Good, you are dismissed. Thank you for your service today."
Without a second glance at the servant Odin entered the room. He knew what had happened, that somehow Loki had reverted back to his Jotunn form. If his wife had not exited his room all day then he feared that it meant Loki had not been able to return to Aesir form.
It took a moment to find located them. When he did he found Frigga and Loki dozing on a chaise. Her arms were wrapped protectively around the child.
Loki never turned blue again as Frigga had realized why her little boy, her Loki, had turned blue that one time was from the lack of contact. As he grew Frigga made sure that he always knew she loved him, showering kisses and hugs upon him. When he grew older and abscond such thing there was always a gentle hand she place on his.
Loki never once doubted his Mother's love.