Edward and Bella do not belong to me, they are SM's.
However Goonerward is all mine ;-)
This hasn't been beta'd as I wanted it posted ASAP, I know I haven't posted for ages and I apologise.
"Don't be stupid Edward. No amount of dating is going to get you over Bella. You need to speak to Bella; not chase after a cheap bit of skirt."
"My obsession with her is going to ruin us both."
"How do you know that? Until you ask her what she wants you can't come to that conclusion. You can't decide for her!"
"The decision is made."
"You're being stupid and going to make yourself miserable. When you realise that, I will be there to say 'I told you so'." With that Jazz got up and walked away to speak to Emmett.
Just thinking about dating someone else was making me feel ill. How was I actually going to pull it off?
I started packing my training bag, feeling sorry for myself. I didn't want to date anyone apart from Bella; I didn't even think I could seriously pull dating anyone else off.
I didn't feel like getting any lunch at the training ground and called mum instead hoping it would be okay to go for dinner tonight. I left without saying bye to anyone, I knew Jazz was pissed at me and didn't feel like explaining that to everyone when they noticed. Everyone knew that Jazz and I were close.
I also needed to figure out who I was going to take to this damn Christmas party...maybe it'd ask Alice to go with me. Maybe I'd give everyone the shock of their lives and go without a date. That would probably be the best option, a drunk Alice around the team could only ask for trouble.
I took mum some flowers for letting me turn up for dinner, I felt bad for imposing. She'd probably kill me for thinking so but I was generally feeling bad about everything and feeling sorry for myself. It didn't take long for mum to realise something was wrong with me, mothers can be so perceptive.
"Would you like to talk about it?"
"The reason why you look like your world is ending, and why you felt the need to come and see your mum and dad today. Don't get me wrong I love having you round but we aren't blessed with your company this often."
"So it's about Bella then. Did you speak to her?"
"Speak to her about what?"
"Don't play dumb dear, you like her and don't know what to do about it?"
"It would ruin us both" as I said this I realised I didn't really care about my reputation it was hers that concerned me more. "She gets enough stick from other teams because she's a woman physio for a men's team, they all pretty much accuse her of sleeping with half the team." I rubbed the back of my neck frustrated with the whole situation.
"So what are you going to do about it?"
"I'm going to get over whatever crazy crush I've got and move on. That way no harm can come to her." I felt sick just saying it.
"Don't you think that's a little unfair on her? You are deciding for her. Does she not have the right to decide what she wants for herself? "
This is why talking to Esme is such a blessing as well as a curse she gets you to think about things and figure them out but also makes you think about the stuff you don't want to. "I can't take the risk of tainting her and ruining her career."
Esme shook her head in exasperation, patted me on the shoulder and went in the kitchen to check on dinner."
As I flicked through channels on the TV Alice came bounding down the stairs as hyper as ever. I looked behind me towards the stairs to see her all dressed up, she was obviously going out. She caught a glimpse of me and stopped step with a look of shock horror on her face.
"What are you doing here Edward?" She asked in an offended tone. Was she still pissed at me for cockblocking that Italian footballer?
"It's nice to see you too little sister."
"I didn't know you we're coming for dinner."
"It was kind of a last minute thing, you off anywhere nice tonight?"
She looked down at herself. "No just out with a friend." I looked at the TV giving her the opportunity to come down the rest of the stairs as she still hadn't moved. When I looked back at her I saw her texting furiously on her phone.
"You okay Alice?"
"Er yeah I got to go. Bye Edward, bye mum." She yelled as she ran out the door. My sister was definitely odd.
At training the next morning my predicament got a whole lot worse. Firstly Jazz was acting a little weird around me I figured he was still pissed at me after our chat yesterday; I must sort that out with him later. Secondly, Bella was asking all the players that were pencilled in to go on the Christmas charity visits if they were dressing up in Christmas outfits. My dick reacted before my brain had registered that she was talking to Seth about her miss Santa costume, apparently she'd found the perfect one online the previous night and had ordered it.
Well fuck. I was screwed now because if the costume was on its way there was no way I was going to escape seeing her in it. I just hope that when I did see her in it I had some sense and didn't try and rip it off her so I could bang the hell out of her.
I wasn't even ashamed of my wayward thoughts anymore.
I would be attending a few of the charity visits and up until now we've always gone in our football kits or training gear as the kids love them however now that Bella was going to dress up Charlie thought it may be fun to dress us all up. Not only was I going to have to struggle hiding my hard dick in front of lots of kids I was going to look like an elf or fairy while doing it. My life just gets better.
I concentrated on my free kicks during training, making our trainee keeper work a whole lot harder too. I felt sorry for the poor kid; he must have thought I was a prick. During our training match I channelled all my frustration into the game. I didn't miss a shot or tackle, Seth looked at me during one said tackle and shook his head. Even he could tell something was off; thankfully Charlie didn't notice or chose not to pull me up on it because he was a pretty persistent guy. What would I have said to him? I'm off my game because I can't stop thinking about your daughter and want to fuck her into the middle of next week. I could only see that conversation ending with my dick being chopped off and probably shoved down my throat.
I sat next to Jazz at lunch, leaving Emmett discussing his date options with Ben. I didn't want the asking about my prospective date because as it stood it looked like I may be asking Alice to go with me.
"Hey." I sounded a little unsure of myself as I wasn't sure if we were okay yet.
"Hey." Jazz matched my unsureness.
"I'm sorry if I snapped yesterday I was just so frustrated with the whole situation."
"I spoke to Esme yesterday when I went round for dinner I have a better perspective now."
"I know you did."
My head snapped in his direction, how did he know? "How did you know? I didn't tell you."
Jazz swallowed hard I could see his Adam's apple bob up and down. "I figured you would go to Esme or Carlisle. You usually find speaking to them helpful and as I wasn't that understanding yesterday; they'd be your last option. I apologise for that."
"It's alright mate I know you're just looking out for me."
"Have you decided who you're going to take to the Christmas party? Are you going to speak to Bella or find someone else?"
"I've thought about taking Alice with me. I know it would sad taking my little sister but I can't see myself taking another date or turning up alone."
"You want to take Alice?" Jazz voice squeaked. He coughed. "I mean is that a good idea? You still remember what happened at the Juventus game right?"
"The thought of a drunken Alice around drunken footballers' scares the crap out of me but it's our boys they know better than to bang a team mates sister. She'd be alright." Jazz still looked very worried and maybe even slightly guilty though I don't know why he would feel guilty.
I was looking forward to kicking some Geordie arse tonight, with all the Bella crap I was eager to burn off some extra energy. I was totally pumped for the game. I knew they would be gunning for me from the second the ref blows his whistle; northern teams usually went for brutal force rather.
The first half of the game flew by, if anyone asked me what had happened I would be clueless. All I could think about was getting the ball, and I know I had been lucky not to get a yellow card as some of my tackles had been a bit brash. I just couldn't stop myself from acting before thinking about it, my head was full of Bella and was leaving me frustrated. I needed to clear my head but didn't know how to, usually a good fuck session would have worked but unless the chick on the receiving end was Bella I doubt even my dick would work.
We all sat in the changing room waiting for the half time talk from Charlie and then Emmett. Charlie talked about keeping our 2-0 lead strong and possibly extending it, I hadn't even realised we had scored 2 goals! I must've celebrated the goals and not realised.
"Cullen! Where the fuck is your head today?" Charlie's booming voice pulled me out of my internal mutterings.
"I'm right here boss." I didn't even sound convincing to myself.
"Like shit you are. Fix whatever you have going round in the pretty little head of yours and get your head in the game, if not I'm taking you off in the first 5 minutes."
"I'll be fine boss." I guess I hadn't been as inconspicuous as I had imagined.
I sat in silence for the rest of the break trying to get into the zone, it was starting to work too until Bella walked in. She was smiling about something and looked stunning. Her beauty still knocked the wind out of me. She looked over at me and I quickly averted my eyes I didn't need to get caught staring at the bosses daughter.
"Edward." My head snapped up at her voice.
I had to clear my throat before I could respond to her. "Hey Bella."
"Can I have a word with you for a minute?"
"Erm yeah sure."
"Can you come into the med room?"
"Yeah sure." I stood up and walked over to her, waiting for her to follow her into the room. She let me enter the room before her, as she entered she turned and closed the door.
What was she doing? Surely she wasn't going to initiate something in here with the rest of the team out there….was she? Suddenly I was very nervous but my dick was already twitching and coming to life.
"Is everything okay with you Edward? You don't seem yourself; you haven't been yourself for a few days now. Is there something I can do to help? Are you injured but too proud to say?"
If only she knew what she could do to help, she could start by letting me rip every piece of clothing off her body.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts.
"There's nothing wrong Bella, I've just had a couple things on my mind but I'm working on them." I smiled trying to be convincing.
"Are you sure?"
"100%. If it was anything physical I would come to you straight away." That wasn't exactly a lie; if I was injured I would tell Bella immediately I trusted her as my physio regardless of what people said about her being a chick. I just didn't fancy telling her about the physical needs I currently had.
The second half was better than the first, my head was more focused on the game and I even managed to score a decent goal increasing our winning lead to 4-0. My dick was still hard after my little chat with Bella in the med room. As full time neared I began thinking of dead puppies I didn't want to be walking off the pitch with a limp or Bella would be on my case again and I didn't want to be showering with a hard dick in front of the team.
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Next update will be a lot sooner than this one!