I do not own the Fate series or any of the series' used here.

Xcution Ramen Bar was a fairly simple bar. It held numerous tables where the patrons could just sit and wait for their order to come to them or drink. The entire place was lit only by a few lamps, giving the bar a 'laid back' feeling. In the back was the bar stand where one Uzumaki Naruto stood, wiping a shot glass with a small napkin. He wore white sneakers, black pants along with a white t-shirt and a white fur collared black jacket. Around his neck was a green cross-shaped necklace.

Naruto glanced at the two customers that were sitting on the bar stools, sipping their drinks. Xcution Ramen Bar has had its fair share of weird customers, but these two took the cake. The first one had introduced himself as 'Cole MacGrath' before ordering a beer while the other one had called himself 'Lelouch Lamperouge' and proceeded to order a soda.

And here Naruto had thought he would have been done with this weird crap ever since destroying Akatsuki and Konoha…

Suddenly the phone for the bar rang. Naruto picked up the receiver before saying, "Hey, this is Xcution…"

"Hello Naruto." A mysterious, electronic sounding voice said, making Naruto narrow his eyes. "It's time for the carnival to start."

"Carnival?" Naruto repeated before information hit his mind like a freight-train. He barely had time to comprehend all of it. He was a fictional character in some person's fanfiction, and said author was making Xcution Bar the nexus for this 'carnival'. Naruto decided to have his existential breakdown later, preferably when no one would be around to see him cry.

Carnival

"Good thing he called you. Saves us the trouble about having to explain this crap to you." Cole said before taking another sip of his beer. "Can't believe that we have to host this shit…"

"Why do we even need to host it?" Naruto demanded before Lelouch let out a small, amused chuckle.

"Why, TIM's fanfics not concerning Naruto have become extremely popular." Lelouch informed him before closing his eyes. "As such, we are to host this carnival. It will bring characters together that would never meet otherwise, like us for instance. It could be funny…"

Funny

"Or it could be simply horror…"

Horror

"Okay seriously, stop with the cryptic crap." Cole growled before setting down his bottle. "Whether we like it or not, we have to host this thing."

"That's just what I was about to say." Lelouch informed Cole while narrowing his eyes.

Naruto sighed. Well, if he was going to be stuck with this then he might as well go along with it. The blonde then turned to the 'screen', grinned at the 'audience' and shouted, "It's starting!"

The Infamous Man Presents…

Carnival Frenzy

The Holy Grail War. A bloody conflict that has been going on for ages. Seven Magi would gather at the location of Fuyuki City and summon seven legendary heroes to fight for them. The Servants themselves are listed by their classes: Saber, Lancer, Archer, Rider, Berserker, Assassin, and Caster. The one Servant and Master remaining shall receive the Holy Grail, an ancient and powerful object with the power to grant any wish, as the prize. And now, chaos shall reign in Fuyuki Ci-

"Welcome everybody to Fuyuki City's Fourth Annual Seihai Grand Prix!"

Wait, what?

"The rules of the Holy Grail War have been changed folks! You will now compete for the Holy Grail in this highly televised race!" A young brown-haired girl in a blue sweatshirt with red stripes, black gym shorts and red sneakers shouted while holding a microphone in her right hand while waving with her left. "We'll be your hosts: Fujimura Taiga…!"

"…And Kotomine Risei. Welcome!" An old man with long, grey hair and closed eyes wearing a priest robe said while smiling at the camera.

"Let's see how our competitors are doing!" Taiga shouted before pointing at the small crowd of Masters and Servants.

"A race? Honestly, do they wish to disgrace the Holy Grail War by making it this showy?" Saber asked with a scowl, wearing her black suit while standing beside Kiritsugu.

"At least no one will have to die this way, right Kiritsugu?" Irisviel asked Kiritsugu, who just nodded in response.

After all, it wasn't like she could see the crossed fingers behind his back.

"I wish you luck in this competition, Kiritsugu." Maiya spoke before hugging Kiritsugu's right arm.

"Could you please let go of my husband, Maiya?" Irisviel asked in an overly sweet tone, however, Saber shrunk back at the almost-visible image of a shrieking hawk appearing behind her.

"Make me." Maiya replied in her usual emotionless tone, an almost visible image of an angry bear appeared behind her in turn. Saber could almost swear she saw sparks of lighting coming from their eyes. What she did actually see was how Irisviel slowly reached into her coat for her wires while Maiya began to draw her gun.

Kiritsugu was silent throughout the whole exchange. He knew he would live longer if he didn't get involved.

"Hm, to think that the Holy Grail War would be degraded into nothing more than a race." Tokiomi muttered while sipping a glass of wine. "It's pathetic."

"I wouldn't say that, Master." Archer said happily with closed eyes and a goofy smile on his face. "No one will have to die now!"

"But it makes no sense!" Tokiomi shouted in anger before noticing everyone was staring at his uncharacteristic outburst. He composed himself before continuing with his explanation, "Six Servants have to die in order for the Holy Grail War to be brought into this world. So why would the war be solved with a race of all things?"

"Because TIM decided to make this a parody series of course!" Assassin shouted, a grin forming under his mask. "The rules of the Nasuverse mean jack shit here!"

"That and he wants to do his interpretation of the race in Carnival Phantasm using us." Kirei agreed with a nod of his head. "And he wants to do a story centered around comedy rather than making it a dramedy for once."

Some of the other participants were decidedly less amused about this.

"God damn it!" Berserker shouted while stomping on the ground, which caused small craters to form on impact. "How can I get a good fight in a damn race!? This is fucking bullshit!"

Kariya ignored him and instead looked at the audience, managing to spot Sakura and shouting, "Don't worry Sakura-chan! I'm winning this for you!"

Sakura just stared at him blankly before giving him a thumbs up. However, in Kariya's sleep-deprived, slightly damaged brain this arrived as Sakura smiling brightly with sparkles forming around her and saying in a cutesy voice, "Mou, Stay safe Kariya-tousan! You're my hero!"

"I know Sakura-chan~!" Kariya sung out with a bright smile on his face while Berserker looked at him weirdly.

"I did not participate in the Holy Grail to be in a barbaric race!" Kayneth yelled out while Lancer looked down at the ground and Sola-Ui just glared at him.

"We will win this with Lancer, Kayneth!" Sola-Ui shouted before hugging Lancer, making sure that her chest rubbed Lancer's face. "Won't you win this for me Lancer?" She only got muffled responses due to his face still being held tightly to her chest. "Of course you will!"

Others were amused, but for entirely different reasons.

"Oh man, this is going to be so cool!" Uryuu shouted while pumping his fists into the air. "So many people are going to die during the crashes! We'll see them catch on fire, squished, and…!"

"Mangekyo Sharingan." Caster said simply before looking Uryuu in the eyes. Uryuu stood still for two seconds before giving a wide grin. The psychopath then quickly took out a small black cap and put it on his head before slouching a bit.

"Yo, let me tell ya Silent Caster." Uryuu said while placing his hand on Caster's shoulder. "After we win this thing, we're totally going to get the pussy. I'm going to fuck this bitch and I'm going to fuck that bitch…"

Caster tuned out his Master's ramblings and sighed. At least by changing Uryuu's personality with his Noble Phantasm he wouldn't have to deal with his Master's murderous tendencies for a while. The unfortunate part was that the personality change was always random, and not even Caster could control what his Master changed into. At least he wasn't acting like a certain blond he knew…

"That's not very nice, bastard! You shouldn't treat your Master like that!"

With a look of pure horror Caster turned around when he heard this most unpleasantly familiar voice. There was just no way that…

But it was. Well, kind of. In front of him floated a small ghost that had without a doubt the face of his 'former best friend'. And it had an incredibly smug look on its face.

"'Sup Sasuke-teme? I'm haunting you!"

Caster then proceeded to facepalm with both his hands. If one had been close enough they would have heard a silent sob escape him. The Servant would have asked what he had done to deserve this if he didn't already know the answer to that question.

Moving on…

"Come on Waver, this is going to be awesome!" Rider shouted as he dragged Waver by his legs to the stadium. "The war becoming a race just makes it even more manly!"

"B-but Rider! I don't know how to drive!" Waver cried out as he kept clawing at the ground, only to fail miserably.

"Looks like I'm going to have to make you read my Guide to Manliness again!" Rider shouted before dropping Waver on the ground. "Tonight you are going to read chapters 100-121 and the homework will be to kill at least three grizzly bears with only a kitchen knife!"

The chatter of the participants continued until the loudspeakers came to life again. "Competitors! Your vehicles will be chosen by a lottery!" Taiga's voice shouted before Maiya and Irisviel, wearing matching red mini-skirts and small tight shirts, walked forward with a box that had a small hole on the top. They glared at one another when Kiritsugu walked up and drew his lot.

Motorcycle

"Kiritsugu and Saber have chosen 'Unit Yamaha'!" Taiga shouted as Saber mounted the familiar motorcycle with a smile forming on her face while Kiritsugu simply sat down in the side-car, cleaning out his Calico and smoking a cigarette.

"I suppose that it is our turn…" Tokiomi sighed as he picked a slip of paper.

Personal Car

"Tokiomi and Archer have chosen 'Unit Love & Peace'!" Taiga shouted as Archer and Tokiomi boarded a red Gran Torino.

"I don't remember purchasing this contraption…" Tokiomi muttered to himself, not noticing Archer beginning to sweat a little.

"Y-yeah. Amazing discovery huh?" The Servant asked nervously while scratching the back of his head. To his relief Tokiomi didn't seem to notice.

"Let us get this farce of a war over with…" Kayneth growled to himself before picking his vehicle.

Smart Car

"Kayneth, Sola-Ui, and Lancer have chosen 'Unit 01'!" Taiga declared while the three boarded the small, purple-colored smart car with Sola-Ui at the driver's seat, Kayneth at the passenger seat and Shinji in the backseat.

"Tch. This contraption is much too small." Kayneth complained as both Shinji and Sola-Ui buckled their seatbelts. A small smirk began to form on Sola-Ui's face as she noticed that Kayneth did not do the same.

"Alright! Let's see what we got!" Rider shouted before dunking his hand into the box and pulling out a slip of paper.

Ship

"Waver and Rider have chosen 'Unit Gurren'!" Taiga said as Waver stared at the vehicle Rider had drawn in shock.

"So?" Rider asked while grinning at Waver. "What do you think?"

"What do I think? That's just a Viking ship with wheels!" Waver shouted while pointing at the ship. It was indeed a Viking ship, and painted on its sail was the symbol of Team Dai-Gurren. "It's big! It's impractical! It runs on wind power! It's…!"

"Manly!" Rider shouted, silencing Waver. Rider then threw Waver onboard the ship before jumping on as well. "Now come one! With this thing we can't possibly loose!"

The drawing continued. "Alright Silent Caster, let's see what we get!" Uryuu shouted before grinning at both Maiya and Irisviel. "Hey slu-"

*Slap!*

"God fucking damn it!"

Caster sighed before digging into the box himself and picking their vehicle.

Hearse

"Uryuu and Caster have chosen 'Unit Child Murder'!" Taiga shouted as Caster and Uryuu boarded the vehicle. The Servant suppressed the urge to bash his head against the steering wheel.

"Time to get the tool of Sakura's salvation!" Kariya told Berserker, who just kept scowling. A little anxiously Kariya picked his own slip of paper.

Supernatural Insect

"Kariya and Berserker have picked 'Unit Hollow!" Taiga shouted while Kariya and Berserker looked at their new 'vehicle', which was simply a giant purple worm with big lips, sharp teeth, and a bone-white plate on its 'head' that had two horns.

"Bawa!" The worm cried out while Berserker and Kariya just continued to stare at it.

"…not this fucking thing again…" Berserker mumbled before Kariya's head dropped his head.

"Sakura's salvation is another fucking worm. Great…" Kariya muttered before they both began to climb on the worm.

"Alright, let's see what TIM got for us!" Assassin yelled as he pulled out a slip of paper.

Mario Kart

"Kariya and Assassin have picked 'Unit Mario'!" Taiga yelled while Assassin and Kirei looked at the small kart, which looked exactly like the one used by Mario in 'Mario Kart: Double Dash'.

"Hah! Looks like TIM used the Mario Kart reference in Fate: Zero Sense to his advantage!" Assassin laughed while Kirei looked at the vehicle curiously.

"But doesn't the lack of a description mean that he is getting lazy?" Kiriei asked Assassin, but before the Servant could answer the question, Taiga's voice rang out through the loudspeaker once again.

"Competitors! Please get into your positions at the starting line!" After hearing that, all the Masters and Servants drove their vehicles to their positions on the racetrack.

"Please remember competitors, the Magus Association and the Holy Church are suffering financially. If I'm ever going to get my hot tu- Uh, I mean give the little orphans of Fuyuki any shelter, you must keep collateral damage to a minimum." Risei's voice rang out, however, no one truly listened to him.

"Huh, guess TIM's making my dad my replacement as the whiner of the series." Kirei muttered to himself as he sat in the backseat of the cart, a suspicious brown bag on his lap. Assassin was at the wheel of their vehicle.

"Alright, get ready…" Taiga shouted as an electronic bell rung three times before the green light lit up. "GO!"

Almost all the vehicles then sped off with Saber in front of the pack. "Oh my, looks like Saber and Kiritsugu already have a huge lead with Lancer and Sola-Ui right behind them!"

The only vehicle that hadn't taken off with the rest was – unsurprisingly – Rider and Waver's Viking ship. Well, to be fair, it was going forward, but only at a speed that even an old grandmother with back problems could pass it with little trouble.

"…" Waver had no words for this. So he simply sat in a corner of the ship and continued to be depressed. If he had paid attention to his Servant, he would have noticed the odd gleam in the man's eyes…

Meanwhile, back with the rest of racers…

"Damn! Why couldn't you be in first Sola-Ui?" Kayneth yelled at his 'fiancée' as she drove Unit 01 down the road, small ticks forming at her brow as Kayneth continued to complain. "Why couldn't we get a more powerful vehicle? In fact, why couldn't we get a more useful Servant rather than the oriental?"

"Kayneth…" Sola-Ui muttered in a sweet tone, making Kayneth turn to her. "You know, you really shouldn't have forgotten your seat belt."

"Huh?" Kayneth muttered intelligently before Sola-Ui suddenly stopped the car, making him crash through the windshield and shoot out like a rocket towards the cement blocks that made the turn. "GHHHHHAAAAAAA-!" His yell was cut short when he impacted the blocks, which contributed to the magus being utterly squashed into a bloody mess.

"Kayneth just died!" Archer yelled out, viewing the scene with horror written on his face.

"Who the fuck cares?!" Berserker shouted in response as he made Unit Hollow crawl in high speeds past Unit Love & Peace.

"Great, now we have to clean that up…" Risei muttered in the microphone while face palming himself.

"Ah, I'm so glad we got rid of him…" Sola-Ui muttered before looking at the backseat, where Lancer was shivering with fear. "Say Lancer, what do you wish for dinner tonight?" As the other cars passed Unit 01, she put the car in reverse and began driving off of the race track. "Or perhaps we can skip to dessert…"

"Imusn'trunawayImusn'trunawayImusn'trunaway…" Lancer kept chanting to himself while Sola-Ui hummed happily to herself, her cheeks reddening with the mental image of Lancer making her food in nothing but an apron.

"Oh look at that! Lancer and Sola-Ui have dropped out of the race! Now let's get back to the remaining competitors…" Taiga said before the 'camera' swerved over to see the cars racing down the track that went through the forest. "Amazing! Unit Yamaha is in the lead followed closely by Unit Love & Peace! Unit Hollow, Unit Child Murderer and Unit Mario are following close behind them!"

Kiritsugu fired his gun at Unit Love & Peace from his side car; however, each bullet was deflected by Archer's own bullets.

"I won't let you take us out of this race, Saber!" Archer shouted as he threw some spare bullets in the air and re-loaded his gun with them, all while using only one hand.

"A Magus lowering himself to use modern-day firearms. How disgraceful…" Tokiomi muttered to himself while calmly sipping on a glass of wine. The car then shook a bit, making it spill on his clothing. While it was not a problem for the red suit he wore, it was very noticeable on his white dress shirt.

"Sorry Master! I hit a pothole!" Archer apologized while steam came out of Tokiomi's ears.

"Sorry won't pay my laundry bill you stupid…!" Tokiomi began before stopping when loud electronic-rock music began filling the air.

{Play Marvel Vs. Capcom 3 OST: Deadpool's Theme}

"Assassin?" Archer muttered while looking in the side-mirror, only to see Unit Mario speeding towards them.

"Amazing! Unit Mario has sped past its original fifth place position and is now closing in on Unit Love & Peace!" Taiga declared, shock evident in her voice.

"My son has sent me a text explaining how this happened." Risei commented. However, confusion was extremely noticeable in his voice when he read said message. "It says… 'I ate the red mushroom'?"

"I'M SO FUCKING HIGH RIGHT NOW!" Kirei declared with bloodshot eyes as he drove Unit Mario to Unit Love & Peace's side, having switched places with his Servant while the Assassin in question rummaged through the brown bag they had brought along.

"Alright, now we can keep quoting TeamFourStar for the rest of this glorified omake…" Assassin began before taking out a small squid from the bag, its tentacles flailing about. "Or we can keep up with the Mario Kart references!" He then pointed the squid at Archer and Tokiomi before squeezing down on it, making ink completely cover both of their faces.

"Nice try Assassin!" Archer declared before taking off his sunglasses. "But I…!" The squid itself then impacted with Archer's face, wrapping itself around it. "GAHH!" Archer yelled as he tried to pull it off his head, consequentially letting go of the steering wheel. The car swerved a bit before driving off the road…

…which also happened to be at a cliff side now.

"GAAAAAAHHHHH-!" Both Archer and Tokiomi yelled as they fell down the cliff and the sound of the car exploding rang through the air a second after.

"What a turn of events! Unit Mario has destroyed Unit Love & Peace and now has taken its place!" Taiga shouted before the 'camera' turned to Unit Hollow and Unit Child Murderer, which were competing for the third place. "And what's this? Unit Hollow is purposefully slowing down so that it can be side by side with Unit Child Murderer."

"Yo man, look at that!" Uryuu shouted while pointing out the window. "It's a fucking penis snake!"

"It's a worm Master. And do not concern yourself over it. We'll shake it off soon enough." Caster spoke while glancing out his window to see Berserker grinning at him while holding a Cero. "Oh fuck…"

"You see Sasuke-teme? That is why you shouldn't underestimate your enemies, dattebayo." The small, ghostly apparition of Naruto spoke while hovering over Caster's shoulder. At that exact instant, Berserker fired his Cero.

"GOD DAMN IT GHOST NARUTO!" Sasuke shouted to the heavens before his car exploded in a blazing fireball.

"Hah! I knew the little shit couldn't win in a fight against me, the king!" Berserker laughed out before looking over his shoulder, only to see Kariya lying down limply with his eyes rolled back and blood dripping from his mouth. "Ah shit, not again. Wake up dumbass!"

Berserker then elbowed Kariya in the gut, making him spit out more blood.

"I-I saw angels this time…" Kariya muttered as he attempted to sit back up with a confused expression forming on his face. "I think I saw… Heath Ledger playing hacky sack with Jimi Hendrix…."

"That's nice." Berserker told him without an ounce of caring in his voice. "Anyway, let's get to those punks in front and…" Suddenly, a large object impacted with Unit Hollow, making it spin into the sky and fly away into the distance. "WHAT THE FUCK!?"

"BAWABA~!" Unit Hollow cried out while Kariya held on for dear life.

"DON'T WORRY SAKURA-CHAN! I'LL…!" But before Kariya could finish, they completely vanished into the distance with only a flash of light marking their leave.

{Play Gurren Lagann OST: Rap Is A Man's Soul!}

"I told you this was an awesome idea Waver!" Rider shouted as he stood heroically on the ship's figurehead while pointing his Nodachi to the sky. "I knew that tying Lagann to Unit Gurren would make us go faster than all these bastards!"

Indeed, tied to the ship with cheap rope that miraculously held, was Lagann. It pulled the massive Viking ship with incredible speeds using its thrusters.

"S-S-Slow this damn thing down Rider!" Waver shouted, barely hanging onto the sail as the extreme winds tried their hardest to pull him off. "I don't want to die yet!"

"Come on Waver!" Rider shouted, apparently not hearing Waver's demand. "Let's show these guys our manly manliness!" Unit Gurren then seemed to speed forward even more while Waver cried in despair, holding on for his dear life.

"Assassin!" Saber shouted as she saw Unit Mario closing in on them. She had followed her Master's (silent) orders to keep driving onwards and not pay attention to the other Servants. And now she discovered that most of the other competitors were either dead or had dropped out, and the only two left were the Servant she utterly loathed and the loudmouth.

What had she done to deserve this kind of punishment?

Elsewhere, Seihai-kun was laughing. It was laughing hard.

"I CAN SEE THE FUUUUTUUUURREEE!" A still high Kirei shouted before throwing a green turtle shell at Kiritsugu, who quickly shot it into numerous pieces. "YOU'LL ADOPT A SUPERHERO WANNNABE! YOUR DAUGHTER TURNS INTO LOLI BAIT! I'LL KEEP USING TEAMFOURSTAR REFERENCES IN THIS FIC WHENEVER I'M HIGH!"

"Oh, great way on trying to be original TIM!" Assassin complained as they made the final turn. He then saw Unit Gurren closing in on them and shouted, "Holy shit, they actually caught up! Guess TIM really…"

"SHUT UP ASSASSIN!" Saber shouted as she began to speed up Unit Yamaha.

"Hah! Prepare yourselves you bastards!" Rider shouted as Unit Gurren went neck and neck with Unit Yamaha and Unit Mario.

"THIS IS IT EVERYONE!" Taiga screeched out while the vehicles sped forward. "UNIT GURREN IS GAINING MOMENTUM! I CANNOT TELL WHO IS AHEAD! THEY ARE LINING UP TO AN ALMOST PERFECT LINE!"

"GHHHHAAAAA!" Saber screamed out in slow motion while Kiritsugu remained silent.

"For the evulz!" Assassin laughed out while Kirei kept on shouting, 'I CAN SEE THE FUTUUUUREE!'

"Taste our awesomesauce!" Rider shouted in slow motion as sunlight glinted off his sunglasses and Nodachi… epically!

"GET ME OFF THIS CRAZY THING!" Waver shouted while tears were falling from his eyes. Lagann's eyes then glowed green before it lurched forward, going an inch ahead of the other vehicles as they crossed the finish line.

The crowds cheered as Unit Gurren did a slow drive down the track. Rider waved at the crowd while Waver threw up on the side of the ship.

"What a turnout folks! Rider and Waver Velvet have won the Seihai Grand Prix!" Taiga shouted in the microphone animatedly.

"And despite the damages done to the track and town, I will still get my hot tub!" Risei continued, earning laughs from the crowd.

"H-how? How could I lose to Rider of all Servants?" Saber cried out while on her knees, her face to the ground, and her fist pounding on it.

Kiritsugu said nothing, but began to slowly raise his gun towards Waver's noggin until Irisviel forced it down and waved her finger at him like she was scolding a little child. "No honey. No killing the winner just because you're upset that you lost."

Suddenly, a glorious light filled the entire area. Waver and Rider looked at the origin and saw the Holy Grail in all its glorious…

"Why is it a thermos?" Waver asked in a confused and angry tone.

"Do you want your wish or not?" The Grail asked back in an annoyed tone, making Rider grin.

"I wish that my buddy Waver…" He then patted Waver on the back. "… becomes as manly as me!"

"So be it …" The Grail spoke before shining its light upon Waver. After the light died down Waver proceeded to grow seven inches and developed some serious muscles. A badass red trench coat manifested on his shoulders and a manly cigar was now clenched between his teeth.

"JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!?" Waver shouted to the heavens, making almost all the women in the audience faint by the sheer amount of testosterone transmitted by his voice alone. He then turned to Rider and shouted, "Come on Rider! We've got to go to the Clock Tower and teach those bastards not to look down on us!"

"Alright!" Rider cheered as he summoned Gurren Lagann before they boarded the mecha and flew in the general direction of London.

The Magus Association never knew what hit them.

To Be Continued…

Omake (In An Omake!)- Seihai-Kun!

"WAAAAAHHH!" Shirou yelled as he ran into Sehai-kun's room and cried at its feet. "SEIHAI-KUN!"

"What's wrong Shirou-kun?" Seihai-kun asked as its purple-colored corrupted contents poured out of its 'mouth'.

"TIM is taking longer to update Fate:Stay Away because of his work!" Shirou cried out while waving his arms around. "He would find the time to do it, but by then he is so tired and unmotivated that he doesn't do it anymore!" Shirou then sobbed into his hands as Seihai-kun looked on.

"Mou, you're so pathetic Shirou-kun…" Seihai-kun chided before dropping a kitchen knife onto the floor.

Update Motivator Kit!

"….huh?" Shirou asked in confusion as Seihai-kun leaned down towards him.

"Use this to make TIM write faster." Seihai-kun whispered to Shirou, who now looked at the knife with horror. "Or just use it to make the readers review more. Either one works."

Note: Yo! It's TIM here with the parody of my popular Fate stories! I decided to make this little story because I LOVE Carnival Phantasm and I think that it is a chance for me to get out of seriousness when it comes to my fanfiction work. Please tell me how I did with exaggerating the characters. I would also like to mention that the Naruto, Lelouch, and Cole in the beginning are characters in some of my fanfictions. Guess which ones they are and you get a cookie.

Also remember to read and review Fate:Zero Sense and Fate:Stay Away. They are probably my best work yet. Also check out Fate:Zero Sense's TV Tropes page. Add anything you might find that belongs there!

Also, special thanks to Sir Godot for beta-reading this chap and helping me out with planning for some crazy hijinks in the story. If you have any suggestions, PM them to me or leave them in a review. They might just be put up here!

Also review this and my other stories. Even if I am busy with work, reviews help my muse and get me motivated enough to start work on a chapter. So review!

…please?