a/n: a million apologies for my absence. lol who am i kidding, i've moved to livejournal. i just don't know what to do and i've had this idea in my head since forever. also, no caps because that's kind of just me. very short because, yeah. i also ship chloe/alek but idk what to do with myself anymore ugh. about 500 words bye.

there isn't a day that goes by when chloe isn't crying. it's pathetic, she thinks, she put this on herself, she kissed brian and now he's gone, and she can't do anything about it. everyone's gone, sometimes she thinks she's gone. her friends, paul and amy, they don't matter anymore. nothing matters anymore.

i love you, her mother says and she's walking out to go to school, and she doesn't even bother to respond back with implied. she is numb, she hurts, she is no longer chloe.

she forgets that alek is there for her, she forgets that he looks out into her window at night sometimes. because, even though there isn't anymore danger, alek still thinks she's fucking gorgeous when she sleeps. but, chloe doesn't realise it. she forgets that if she ever needed someone, alek is there.

but he never comes inside, never says hello. no one says hello, and no one is worth saying hello to. and chloe thinks her new way of life is really pathetic, but she forgot how to live it normally. so she wakes up at 7 am sharp, (no later) skips breakfast, goes to school, goes to work, and goes home. her routine is endlessly monotonous but she forgets how to be a normal teenager.

she misses brian more than anything, though. more than jasmine and her best friends or anything that left that one horrible day. because brian, no matter how much shit she put him through, was there. he loved her and it hurt because she couldn't be with him, but he was perfectly content with having her there, as an anything, especially a friend.

but she kissed him ( and ruined everything )

and before she realises it, alek is there suddenly. in her window, whispering, hi chloe, and she feels her stomach fall and she suddenly wants to throw up.

what are you doing here, she says and her voice feels hoarse and wrong, she hasn't spoken in so long.

i don't know, i was just hanging around. missed you, we all did, and he's inside her room now, standing five feet away.

there's no one there to miss me.

there's me. and it's like, chloe can't do this, not right now and not ever. her breathing is coming strangely and she's too-aware of her blinking. i miss you, chlo, i've always missed you. and i've never gotten over you.

five feet suddenly turns into five inches and she's staring up, right into alek's eyes and they're not what she wants, but she kisses him anyways, and he whispers i love you into it, and she just pulls him closer.

it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.