Meant to be
! © 成田 良悟

The lights weren't working again. The company in charge of electricity, whatever they are normally called, probably cut off the supply once more. Really, they were getting way too strict nowadays. I believe that the last time I paid them was a mere three months ago, and a late payment was hardly the reason to make me live in the dark - especially when Izaya was living together with me.

The darkness destroyed the ambience, making my already dull and damp one-room flat seem even smaller and creepier than what it was originally.

Ridiculous, I seethed in my mind, almost considering the possibility of smashing my fist into the plaster wall before realising that it would probably make Izaya mad when he noticed that I smashed another wall. And speaking of Izaya, where was he?

I squinted in the darkness for quite a while before I could make out the silhouette of a lump on my bed. I should have known - the flea didn't see it fit to move from his spot on my bed recently. And I swear that the lack of proper lighting had something to do with his immobility. Looks like I have to call up the company to get the electricity running once again.

Sighing, I approached the lump, my nose wrinkling from the weird smell permeating the air - a smell which grew stronger as I approached Izaya. It was probably also the same smell which my neighbours and landlord have been complaining about for days already.

"Izaya, how many times must I tell you that you mustn't stay in bed all day?"

The bed protested with an exaggerated creak when I sunk down on it, as if it was straining just to bear our combined weights. Ignoring it, I propped Izaya's body up against the pillow, and lifted a piece of ootoro to his lips. "Look, Izaya, I even got your favorite dish specially for you. Won't you eat?"

His lips didn't part, and his eyelids didn't even flutter.

Vaguely, I wondered what was wrong with him lately as I lowered the piece of sushi back into the plastic bag. He hadn't responded to anything I did for days already, and his skin felt unbearably cold.

Was he sick? Should I call Shinra?

Better not, I decided, remembering that stupid four-eyes confronting me this morning to demand for Izaya's whereabouts. Undoubtedly, there was a high chance that he would try to take Izaya away from me if he knew what where the latter was - and that was something I can never allow.

Certainly not after I spent so much time and effort to finally persuade Izaya to live with me. No.

I hugged Izaya close to my chest, increasingly aware of the way his body was rigidly positioned against mine, and buried my face in his soft, dark hair, inhaling deeply. Then instantly recoiled in disgust. There was a foreign smell - a stench. And it wasn't his usual stench which I had gotten used to over the past few years.

It was a smell of something rotting. A smell that shouldn't belong to Izaya.

Grimacing, I tugged off his clothes and replaced them with the clean red V-neck shirt I took from his home earlier this week, and wrapped his trademark fur-trimmed jacket around his slim shoulders. "Sorry, Izaya, but the heater isn't working today and I know you don't want to bathe in cold water, so we'll shower together tomorrow instead, okay?"

Using my fingers, I tilted his lips up into a small smile and fixed it in place. Next, I tilted his head back and forth to make it appear as if he nodded in agreement to my earlier question.

Then, I caressed his face, brushing my fingertips against his pale eyelids, which I knew were hiding a piercing gaze. These beautiful scarlet orbs who literally sparkled every single time when Shinra walked over. I moved my hands lower, my palms hot against Izaya's cool cheeks. These cheeks which flushed a beautiful light pink in response to Kadota's kindness and soft pats on your head. Then finally, my thumbs slowly trailed along his bottom lip, from one end to the other. And these lips which I always dreamt of kissing, but can never have.

But now I can. I could. Because everything - everything of his belonged to me now.

I lowered my head, pressing a firm but chaste kiss to those pale lips, revelling in the taste and the way our mouths practically melded together. Ah, and of course it was everything I ever imagined. So beautiful, so perfect that it seemed exactly as if we were practically made for each other. Slowly, I drew back, proceeding to hug Izaya close to my body instead.

He may be cold - so very cold, yet he was still exceedingly beautiful. And I came to notice that this fragile being in my arms finally belonged to me. Not anyone else's, but mine - and mine alone.

"Sweet dreams, Izaya."