AN: Truth be told, I was absolutely, positively not going to start another story until I finished Daily Affirmations. However, I was talking to the fabulous MidnightLove87 and told her a true story about the college me who met a celebrity. She thought it would make a fun story, so here we go!

This story is dedicated to MidnightLove87, because she convinced me to write it and she is just an amazing writer and person!

Who makes my words fabulous? The fantastic Sunflower3759, of course!

I hope you like Chapter 1, please feel free to let me know what you think. Ugly Duckling Bakery readers, Chapter 15 is almost done and should be posted next week. I am on Facebook at staceleostories, I suggest friending me and I can add you to the group. (I never update the actual page.)

I don't own Twilight, but I did grow up in the 'Decoy Capital of the World'. Don't be jealous.

Chapter 1

It was one of those quiet little towns by the bay. 'The Decoy Capital of the World' as the locals liked to proudly brag. A Norman Rockwell painting type of place, with tree lined streets and the American flag waving proudly from front porches. Bella Swan imagined one day she would have a house on Main Street close to the water. However, today was not one of those days, and right now she wished she was back at school, away from this chaos. The day was still young, yet already there were so many things that had made her blood boil.

Pushing her way through the crowds of noisy people on Main Street, Bella stomped into the town's small coffee shop, Java by the Bay. It was all brown toned walls, mismatched tables and chairs, and large barrels of coffee beans making the room smell like a little piece of heaven. It was her piece of heaven, but now it was filled with strangers that were taking all of the oxygen out of the small room. Bella took a deep breath and made her way passed the crowd to the counter.

"Malloy," she said breathlessly.

"Swan." The blonde behind the counter greeted with the frown. Once upon a time in third grade, the women had been friends. That was a lifetime ago. "What do you want?"

"A large coffee." Bella looked at the people surrounding them and asked. "Have we finally been invaded? I was hoping that when that happened, they would at least be kind enough to leave the coffee shop to the locals."

"Yes, the television crew has landed. My mother has about lost her mind with their beverage requests. Does this look like a Starbucks?" Lauren complained. "Is it still crazy out there?"

"Our grandmothers almost ran over a group of extras, Malloy." Bella grimaced at the thought. She had seen her life pass in front of her eyes as she sat helplessly in the backseat of the car.

"Was it my grandmother or yours driving?"

Bella snickered, as she watched Lauren pour her coffee. "Mine, of course, she thinks she can drive like a NASCAR driver. I tried to get her to let me drive, but then she told me my voice sounded like a bullhorn and to get my butt in the backseat."

"She's a mean one. You resemble her. No, I'll take that back. Alice is far more like her. I'm scared of Alice," Lauren admitted.

"You should be, Malloy. Alice here, yet?" Bella asked, scanning through the strangers to find her sister. She then saw the closely cropped dark hair sitting with a scowl in the corner. "Found her. Smell you later, Malloy."

"Bite me, Swan."

"You'd like it," Bella called back, as she approached her pissy sister. She looked at the creepy shirt her sister was wearing. "Why is your shirt covered in teeth?"

Alice looked at her. "I like teeth. Teeth are fun. Sit your butt down, I need you to block me from having to look at pretentious actors."

"Are they horrible?"

"They are the worst with all their demands. I detest Malloy, but I even feel a little for her with my black, cold heart. Also, that blond kid keeps staring at me." A handsome, curly haired man was staring at an irate Alice. Alice then looked at Bella's beverage. "I can't believe you ordered a plain coffee. You never order plain coffee."

Alice was used to Bella always ordering mixed messes that either contained flavor or ice. Alice, herself, liked her java black and preferably it hooked up to an I.V. that would pump the black elixir of adrenaline directly into her veins.

"I just drove with the old bat and her best buddy to the nursing home so they could have a lunch date, so my nerves are frayed. Watch the twitching." Bella held her vibrating hand out to her sister. Bella and Alice's grandmother adored having lunch at the nursing home. You could visit with old friends and eat a meal for $2.99. The granddaughters often had to accompany her to fetch things, and also so that she could brag about them in a mocking way. "It's the coffee or something much harder. I think, however, that gin at 10 a.m. would be a bit much."

"It's happy hour somewhere."

"True, yet still not the best idea." Bella shook her head. "That old woman is going to kill someone in that Chrysler of hers. I hate that you got out of going today."

"Was she making fun of someone? I live for the way, Louise mocks the masses." Alice loved the cranky old lady and found her to be a mentor. There was a bond there for their mutual love of snide comments. She would have been happy to come, if she hadn't had piles of paperwork to fill out for her study abroad semester.

"It was all snark, all the time. Not to mention that all the elderly people in the dining hall were getting their Depends in a bunch. That would be a direct description by our grandmother, over the new Friendly's."

"You mean the sign that those idiot T.V. people put over the old paint store?" Alice peered over Bella's shoulder and gave someone the finger. "The creepster with the blond, white-boy fro, is grinning at me. I would throw my coffee at him, but it would be wasting a good brew."

"I am so glad you have your priorities straight, Al. Seriously though, can you imagine the mass confusion in town when the older citizens come looking for the senior citizen discount and find an empty storefront?" Bella took a deep swig and started to choke. "I forgot how awful it is! I am getting some milk and sugar for this oil spill in a cup. Do you need anything?"

"He winked at me! The weird kid winked at me! Pour salt into his drink! Is he drinking a something with whipped cream on top? What kind of Hollywood douc..."

Bella sighed and pulled her hair up into a ponytail. "Simmer down, Al, I'll be right back. You want me to get his number?"

Alice threw a balled up napkin at the back of Bella's head as she walked away.

Bella approached the small counter that was home to a plethora of coffee and tea additions. She found herself behind a very tall man with dark red hair, and she thought the back of his head looked familiar. He could easily be a person from a rival high school that was back from college on summer vacation like she was. Of course, it would be just her luck that the guy was part of the show's crew.

"Excuse me mister; can I get around you for a second?"

Her eyes widened, taking in the face of the handsome man who turned around. His green eyes sparkled as he took her in. "What can I get for you, beautiful?"

The word pretty, so pretty, flashed through her now nonfunctioning brain. Bella started choking on her words. "Sug...Sugar."

The man quickly produced two sugar packets and placed them in Bella's hand with a caress. "Here are two sweet things, for the sweet little lady."

Bella, in all her feminist outrage wanted to punch him in the nose, but he was so pretty, that the words couldn't come out of her mouth. And her fist wouldn't dare mar his good, but smug looks.

"I'm new in town, would you like to show me around?" He asked with a dazzling smile that made Bella's knees buckle.

"Huh?" It was the only word Bella could free from her mouth.

Luckily, for the floundering Bella, it was Alice to the rescue. "Ignore the pretty boy, Bella. They are actors and excel at lies."

"Excuse me, Miss, but I was talking to this young lady here, and not spinning any yarns as you suggest," the pretty man said in his own defense.

Alice scoffed, "Yarns? How old are you? Do you whittle for the young'uns? Give me a break. Let's go, Bella!"

"Wait! Bella, is it?"

Before Bella could answer the handsome stranger, there was a crash and screams from outside the coffee shop. Old Mr. Newton ran in, hands waving in the air. "Alice, Bella, your grandmother hit the flag pole in the traffic circle."

"What traffic circle? We don't have a traffic circle!" Bella exclaimed, finally finding her voice.

Mr. Newton explained, "The foam one that those Hollywood folks brought in on a truck."

"Jesus, Mary and effin' Joseph!" The atheist Alice yelled. "We better get out there!"

As they two girls ran out, Edward Cullen couldn't take his eyes off of the pretty brunette whose ponytail he watched swinging in the air as she made her hasty exit. He decided right then and there that she was going to be his next conquest.

"I can't take my eyes off the girl in the teeth shirt," Jasper Whitlock, the man with the curly blond locks said as he smiled at the door.

Edward grinned. "That's good, because I have my eye on her friend. Umm, Jazz, my man, you've got whip cream on your top lip."

"Shit!" Jasper exclaimed wiping it away. "Are we going to go help them?"

"Yes we are. They might not want it, but they certainly are going to get it." Edward gave his friend a big smile and the two men followed the girls out into the mass confusion that was now taking place on Main Street.