Bonds of Brothers
Disclaimer: I don't earn any money or any gratuities from this or any fanfic except for the personal gratification of writing hurt Sam and guilty/caring Dean! I promise I won't ummm yeah do too much damage to that fine body.
Characters: Dean, Sam, Cas
Early Season 5. Gen. Everyone knows about the Winchester boys co-dependent bond. Especially hunters. Sam has been sent to do pick up duty for food and supplies. Sam knows that it's because Dean can't really trust him anymore, with letting Lucifer out an all, despite how much it breaks his heart he understands so when Cas shows up to discuss business, Sam knows where he has to be. Except a pair of hunters have been watching the Winchesters for weeks, waiting for the time that they can get Sam alone. They know he's involved in something but they never imagined that Sam's bond with Dean, even when taken can prove useful for Dean getting him back.
Dean watched Sam walk out of their current motel room with mixed feelings. He felt bad for Sam but there was that underlying anger so deep inside that he found it hard to feel anything except mistrust and borderline rage. Sam had done so much to rip their relationship apart and yet still showed little if any remorse. Sure he said that he was sorry but words can be empty and meaningless; Dean had a lifetime of memories in that regard with Sam telling him half-truths and misdirections, hiding what he really thought, one prime example was his running off to college. They were more than brothers, they were best friends, or at least that was what Dean had thought at the time until Sam dropped the bombshell, he wanted to go to college and leave him.
Now, now he was watching Sam leave again this time though it was not because he wanted to go, or that he was running to something. No, this time it was to make Dean happy or at least not as angry as he had been since the breaking of the last seal and letting Lucifer out.
'We have work to do Dean,' Cas said his dulcet tones set Dean's teeth on edge, yes the angel was more trustworthy at the moment than his own brother, the angel was willing to do more and to blindly follow Dean but he wasn't Sam.
'I know Cas,' Dean sighed as he turned to stare at the angel all passive six feet of him with his rumpled trench coat, tie at half cast and wrinkled trousers, 'I know.'
'Sam will be fine, he is doing what is needed.' Once again Cas' voice grated on Dean, 'he cannot be allowed in on everything you know that Dean, he cannot be as trusted as you wanted him to be.'
'Enough Cas, just let's get on with the plans before Sam gets back.'
'He is tainted Dean you have to remember that, he allowed…'
'Dammit Cas enough,' Dean said raising his voice enough to shock the angel into silence, 'I just want to get the job done and out of this place.' It was one thing for Dean to rag on Sam he was allowed to, it was in the big brother's handbook, but it didn't mean he had to let anyone else do it especially in front of him.
'We need to move quickly with this job Dean,' Cas said as he pointed to a map already laid out on the table, courtesy of said tainted and unwanted little brother Sam, 'Lucifer is already amassing armies of his demons and other creatures.'
Dean glanced down at the map and then looked up at the window noticing the black and grey clouds gathering, the fact that the wind is now gusting through the trees just in front of their room and bright flashes of lightening on the horizon. Sam had gone out without his coat and with out asking for the keys, choosing to walk the half mile or so to the shops.
Sam moaned and blinked furiously trying to clear his blurred vision; he had little memory of what had happened after he had left the motel room. The sharp pain in his left side radiating down his hip and leg was a major hint as was the blood dripping down the side on his face but that was all. Everything was so mixed up.
Fighting the urge to cry and to give up Sam tried to move; belatedly he realised that he was completely immobilised, his arms were twisted behind him and something held him tight against the back of a chair, the same stuff was wrapped around his legs making it impossible for him to move. 'Gah, mmpphhh…' he tried to call out and that was when he came to the full realisation that he was fucked. Bound by rope around his chest and arms to a wooden chair, and around each leg to the front legs of the said chair, a piece of duct tape fixed firmly over his mouth, yep he was fucked. Blearily, he tried to focus on his surroundings; everything blurred into shapeless blobs, just then there was movement just outside his peripheral vision making him nauseous when he tried to twist around to see a little more.
'Ah so Sleeping Beauty wakes,' a mocking but strange voice laughed too loudly in his ears making Sam wince slightly, everything seemed off kilter a little.
'Mmmpphh,' Sam swore against his gag and strained against the ropes once again.
'What's that?' The stranger mocked him as he moved closer to Sam, 'oh dear, hmmm maybe you should twitch your nose and get rid of it?' The mocking laughter sent little waves of impotent rage through Sam and he renewed his fight with his restraints.
'Quit toying with the prey Vince,' another voice assaulted Sam's impaired hearing.
Sam closed his eyes swallowing deeply, where's Dean? The thought bounced repeatedly in his mind and took his mind from his pain and confusion for the briefest of nano-seconds.
'Hey Sam, Sammy Winchester no wigging out on us,' the second man said as he slapped Sam's cheek in frustration, 'time to talk!'
Sam's eyes snapped open, he stared up at the man with undisguised malice, and fear, wincing as the tape from his mouth was suddenly ripped away. 'Who are you?' He rasped his throat dry and ragged.
'Oh dear where are my manners?' His tormentor said grinning nastily, 'want something to drink?' He lifted a bottle up in front of Sam's eyes for him to see clearly, filled with a viscous red fluid, its distinctive smell invading Sam's overloaded senses.
'N-no, no please no,' Sam hated hearing himself begging but he tried so hard to stay away from the blood now, the call was still there and it was so tempting for him to take a sip and to use it against his captors.
'Ah poor little Sammy, so misunderstood … why not give in and show us what you really are? Freak!'
'Who are you?' Sam cried out.
'I'm a fan Sam I truly am,' the man said as he pulled a chair up in front of Sam and sat down dangling the bottle between them, 'you are one demon fighting machine, what you could do with the right guidance…'
'Who are you?' Sam repeated as he dragged his gaze away from that bottle of blood and instead he stared up at his other, now silent kidnapper, 'what do you want?'
'Well let's see Sammy … we want to be able to hunt and not worry about the fucking apocalypse coming down on us, we want to hunt without worrying about Lucifer but gee thanks to you we can't so now we want some … compensation from you.'
'What the hell are you talking about?'
'We want you to be our personal weapon against Lucifer and the apocalypse,' the man nodded to his offsider and the feral look in the man's eyes made Sam shiver and suddenly want to struggle even harder against the bonds holding him. 'Now Vince.'
Vince, the other man standing silently near the door moved to stand behind Sam, before their young captive could understand what was happening, Vince grabbed a fist full of hair and yanked his head back hard and then gripped his chin with the other hand effectively immobilising Sam and forcing his mouth and throat open.
Terrified as he realised what was about to happen Sam tried to struggle even harder but to no avail and he felt the still warm blood course its way down his throat. His instinctive reaction was to start coughing and to spit it back up but then Vince pushed up on his chin and with a vice-like grip clamped his mouth shut.
Unable to do anything else but to choke down the poisonous fluid Sam felt the burn as the effects were almost immediate.
'Let him go now Vince,' the mysterious man instructed as he stood up and moved closer to Sam, 'ahh that's it let it flow through you Sammy, we want you nice and needy,' bending down the man crushed Sam's mouth in a brutal kiss, 'you're mine now Winchester, mind, body and soul!'
'Untie me and you'll find out what you think you own,' Sam snarled his bloodstained spittle hitting the man in the face.
'Soon my beautiful boy, soon,' the man smiled and wiped the spit from his face he turned as though he was going to leave when he span back around and slammed his fist into Sam's cheek splitting the tender skin on his cheekbone. 'The name is Ash but you'll call me Master.' He hissed and then nodded to a smiling Vince, 'he's all yours Vince.'
'Dean are you ready to go?' Cas asked with an almost agitated tone to his gravely voice, 'we need to get this job done.'
'Sam's not back yet Cas,' Dean said without looking at the angel instead he watched the storm raging outside their window.
'He is most likely sheltering from the storm somewhere,' Castiel said with a slight shrug to his shoulders, 'he will be alright until we come back.'
'I told him that I would wait here for him Cas.' Dean said and turned to look at Castiel, 'I don't want him to come to an empty room and…'
'And? Do you think that Sam will go and find demon's blood if you were not here to wait for him?'
'Not everything is about his addiction Cas,' Dean said feeling slightly guilty with Castiel hitting on the right nerve so quickly.
'What do you want to do Dean? Sam is not part of this job, we do not have to wait for him we can leave him a message.'
'A few more minutes won't hurt Cas,' Dean said as he returned to his vigil at the window, dammit Sammy where are you?
Pulling his cell phone out of his pocket Dean hit the speed dial key for Sam and waited, and then rang again after leaving a terse message on his brother's voicemail.
Sam tried to sit up three times but each time he failed miserably; he had just woken to find himself lying on a thin rubber mattress against a wall. The only other items in the room were the two chairs; one covered in blood and still had the ropes dangling from it where Sam had been held before losing consciousness once again.
Silently he catalogued his newest injuries, his right eye was swollen shut, his nose felt wrong and he couldn't breath through it, nose dripped from his nose onto his lips and down his chin, he had a constant ringing in his ears and felt as though everything was tipped off centre. His ribs felt like they were made out of sponge not bone and the pain in his side had now graduated to utter agony.
The worst though, was the burning in his stomach and the diminishing fire in his blood; tears of shame and utter helplessness started to fall stinging on the small cuts and abrasions scattered across his face.
'What some more Sammy?' Ash asked startling Sam when he suddenly appeared in his sight, 'oh what's wrong kiddo? You don't look so good.'
'Go to hell,' Sam rasped, 'I hear it's nice and hot down there this time of year.'
'I've got something for you Sam, something I think you're gonna enjoy.' Ash said with a lascivious grin, 'mmm then I think I'll have my own tasting.'
'Get off pervert,' Sam tried to wriggle away and to get his own bearings but his battered body would not cooperate. Despondently, Sam tried to avoid the lip of the bottle, demon blood dribbled down his chin instead but all that did was to earn him another blow. He finally closed his eyes and felt himself slip away. Confused, he could feel the blood pulsating through him but it felt so different. There was none of the immediate rage and need to kill anything supernatural.
Where are you Dean? Please, please, I'm sorry I need you. Where are you big brother? Help me!
Dean shook his head and scrubbed his fist across his eyes, 'fuck what was … Sammy?'
'Dean what is it?' Castiel asked as he turned in his seat and stared at Dean's profile.
Dean slammed his foot on the brake and came to a skidding stop just before crashing the impala into a fence. 'Fuck, fuck, fuck.'
'What is wrong Dean?' Castiel tried again.
'Sam, something's wrong with Sam.' Dean said as he turned to stare at the interloper in Sam's seat, 'we have to go now.'
'We need to find this demon Dean, he is the one who will tell us…'
'Fuck the demon Cas, we are going to find Sam, don't ask me how but he needs me.'
'Sam will always need something or someone it is what he is Dean this is more important.'
'No Cas, there is nothing more important than Sam,' Dean said slowly reigning in his temper, 'now you can either help me find him or you can go and do your own job.'
'Sam will be fine Dean, we only have one chance…'
'Get out Cas now before I do something you will regret.' Dean growled and then blinked when he realised that he was growling at thin air. 'Fine then, hang on Sammy I'm coming to find ya, just hang on for me.' Dean turned the key and felt the impala roar to life as though she too felt the urgency to find his errant little brother. His finger continuously pressed redial on his cell phone as the calls went unanswered or straight to voicemail as he held the phone against the steering wheel as he drove.
Expertly he manoeuvred the large car into a U-turn and sped back towards the motel, the last place he had seen Sam. With little more than a rustling of wings as a warning Castiel suddenly appeared on the seat next to him. Cursing loudly and fighting the car Dean managed to get back onto the road and continue driving while he fought to calm his breathing down as well.
'Fuck Cas a little warning would be nice.' Dean finally said, 'what the hell?'
'I have found Sam,' Castiel said simply staring out the windscreen, 'he is being held by two hunters.'
'How? I mean you gave us those thingies on our ribs?'
'I was able to locate his cell phone,' Castiel explained as though it was the most logical and simplest thing in the world.
'What do you mean Dean?' Castiel asked confused.
'Well where are we going?' Dean sighed.
Sam swallowed against the acrid taste of the bile he had just spat up, he was lying next to a pool of bloodstained vomit and the stench made him retch up the last of the acidic fluids lying in his stomach.
'Ah fuck,' he gasped breathlessly as another bout of retching threatened, 'm'sorry Dean.' Toppling backwards, he laid half on the mattress and half on the grimy floor, the chill of the concrete spiked along his naked back but he was beyond caring, he knew that it was too late for help to arrive now. Too late for anything.
'Hey Superman ready for another booster shot?' Vince asked as he sauntered towards Sam, coming to a stop just out of arm's reach he stared down at the young man sprawled across the mattress and floor. He took in the tainted vomit and the strong stench of urine and nearly threw up himself, 'what the hell have you done Ash?' he muttered, the other hunter had gone too far this time.
Sure they had a beef with the Winchesters since their hunting partner Bruce was killed by one of the devil's own, after Sam had let Lucifer out of his cage. The kid owed them and they were going to get it back in blood and hunting but that would be impossible to do if Winchester died first.
'Ash get down here!' Vince yelled as he crouched down to check Sam's pulse, at least he was alive … well sort of.
'What's all the bellowing about?' Ash demanded as he ran into the basement, 'why haven't you fed him yet?'
'Look at him Ash what the fuck did you do to him?' Vince said pointing down at the young man lying near his feet.
'Had some fun,' Ash said smirking, 'don't worry he'll bounce back with the blood.'
'Remember you doctored the blood to make him suffer more.' Vince said angrily, 'it aint pure demon blood and now look at him, I dunno if he's gonna make it till the morning.'
'As soon as we're ready I'll give him the real demon blood and he'll bounce back.' Ash said although this time he even doubted himself when he took a clearer look at the kid.
'Give it to him now,' Vince demanded, 'or put him out of his misery.'
Dean crept into the condemned house with his glock loaded, cocked ready to shoot if needed, his favourite knife was nestled in its sheath against his hip, and another was sheathed against his left ankle. He risked a glance over his shoulder at Castiel and then he moved deeper into the house his eyes moving in a constant sweep of the premises, they moved silently through each room as they searched for the missing Winchester, the pull of his bond with Sam suddenly "yanked" Dean towards the rear of the house and the kitchen.
Confused, Castiel opened his mouth to question Dean on his abrupt change in direction but closed it again at the glare he received and stayed silent, he could smell the acrid stench of spilled blood and knew that they were close. He wanted to warn Dean but the look he had seen on the human's face said more than words could and instead he decided to protect the man even if it killed him.
'You touch my brother and I will kill you!' Dean said his voice icy calm and utterly lethal.
The two men standing over Sam's prone body turned in shock, which quickly morphed into horror as they stared at the gun and lethal look on the holder's face. 'Then again maybe I should just kill you now.'
'Walk away Winchester, we're just doing what you couldn't,' Ash said as he started to move towards Dean.
'Another step and it'll be your last,' Dean said as he raised the gun a little higher and aimed it directly at the man's heart.
'There's two of us and only one of you,' Ash smiled as he took another step closer, 'not the best odds.'
'Not for you anyway,' Dean smiled, 'I could always put one hand behind my back to even the odds up.'
'Oh a funny man, what do you think Vince?'
'Yeah very funny,' Vince started to move to Dean's left side intent on surrounding him.
'Gee fellahs maybe I should put both my hands behind my back?' Dean grin became even wider, 'or I could get him to …'
'Get who? Your brother? Sorry but he's a little indisposed at the moment,' Vince smirked.
'Nah I mean him,' Dean said and nodded at Castiel who had silently appeared in front of Vince, without a word Castiel raised his hand and touched Vince's temple the large hunter collapsed bonelessly to the floor unconscious.
'What the fuck is going on here?' Ash demanded as he looked from Dean to Castiel and then back to Dean, 'what the fuck?'
'Stand down now!' Dean ordered as he channelled his late marine-sergeant father, 'or die!'
Ash put his hands up as he stared at Castiel leaving himself wide open for an all out assault from Dean.
'Dean your brother needs you,' Castiel said placing a hand on the raging hunter's shoulder instantly calming him. Dean blinked and looked up at the angel and then down at the bloodied man lying unconscious beneath him.
'Sam?' Dean scrambled across the floor to his brother's side, 'Sammy, ah shit please, Cas can you?'
'Dean I …'
'Either help him or get out Cas,' Dean said without looking at the angel.
'Why do you think you can give me orders and ultimatums all of the time Dean?' Castiel asked curiously, 'I do not have to do whatever you want.'
'Castiel … Cas please he's dying…' Dean looked up then, unshed tears shone brightly in his green eyes making them appear darker than normal, a look of abject misery and something akin to defeat on his face as he pleaded for his brother's life. 'Sam never wanted this … all he ever wanted was to be normal and safe.'
'Sam was tainted as a baby Dean he was never normal…' Castiel said without any emotion, 'perhaps it …'
'Don't you dare say that Castiel, if Sam dies then what about your precious face off with Lucifer and Michael? If Sam dies, then there's no vessel for Lucifer and it'll be a cold day in hell before I say yes to Michael. He dies, I'll die and you can take your angel wars and shove them so high up your heavenly butts…'
'I was unable to heal him completely but he will not die,' Castiel said as he disappeared with a soft breeze and rustling of feathers.
'Damn I hate it when he does that,' Dean muttered as he tenderly gathered Sam into his arms, 'Sammy, oh God Sammy what did they do to you?'
'D-Dean?' Sam's eyes fluttered open and for a second he tried to focus on the fuzzy face hovering over him but then he closed them again and breathed a soft sigh.
Dean yawned and stretched as he got up and paced the small space between the two beds, it had been three days since he had rescued Sam from the crazy hunters and he had still hadn't shown any signs of waking up.
They had arrived at Bobby's late the night before and immediately had been herded towards their shared bedroom by the gruff hunter and with a quick chat and promised full report in the morning; Bobby left the brothers alone for the night. Castiel had not shown himself since and Dean was sure that the angel had gone to do the job on his own.
Unable to bring himself to care, Dean sat down and stared at his little brother, the bruises were fading and most of his injuries had been healed by Castiel. But there were some still evident and no matter how he tried to condone his friend's actions, he knew that Castiel could have done a lot more in the healing department.
'D-Dean?' Sam said his voice barely audible but Dean still heard him, 'm'not dreaming?'
'Nope it's me your adorable big brother,' Dean couldn't help but smile, his little brother looked so small and fragile against the white of the pillowslips, but alive, 'nice to see ya awake Sammy.'
'How what? How am I so adorable?'
'How ... find me?'
'Ah I ah had some help,' Dean admitted with a sheepish look on his face, 'I ahh heard ya calling me and then Cas found ya cell while I was calling.'
'I – I called you? Wh-wha … my-my cell?' Sam blinked up at Dean with a confused look, 'don't … did …'
'You called me bro and I heard ya … finally.' Dean added with a whisper, 'what happened Sam?'
'I ah I'm not too sure exactly what happened but they clipped me with a car, just bad enough to knock me out I guess.' Sam said his hand slowly rubbed his aching hip, 'I – I came too and was tied up in that basement, they – they forced blood down my throat.'
'I-I thought s-so b-but …' Sam stammered slightly and shook his head, immediately regretting it when his headache spiked again.
'Fuck sorry Sammy,' Dean said guiltily when he saw Sam wince and pale slightly, 'I've got some good stuff for ya,' he tipped two small white pills out of the bottle and helped Sam sit up enough to take them and sip some water.
'Th-thanks, Dean I don't under-understand what … the blood it wasn't pure …'
'They doctored the blood they fed ya?' Dean looked just as confused as Sam as they both sat in silence and tried to workout their own versions of why.
'Keep ya docile until they needed ya, just enough to keep ya wanting more but not strong enough to give ya full strength,' Bobby said as he came into the room, 'sorry wasn't listening or anything jest came up to see if ya'll wanted some lunch?'
'Thanks Bobby,' Dean said, 'and yeah that's probably why …'
'M-Made me sick,' Sam continued as the memories slowly wound their way back into his conscious mind, 'Ash the one who – who was the b-boss, he – he told me that they wanted me as their own, p-personal demon killing weapon.'
'They, they said it was coz we caused one of em to get k-killed,' Sam said yawning, 'they-they hurt me…'
'I am so sorry Sammy.'
'N-no I d-deserved it, all m'fault.' Sam said as he turned his face away and closed his eyes, an errant tear slipped from under his eyelashes and trailed down his cheek. Dean looked up and met Bobby's own concerned stare before he returned his attention back to his little brother.
'Sam, Sammy hey come on dude look at me,' Dean said tenderly and cup Sam's chin in his hand to get him to turn back when Sam violently flinched and tried to push away, blindly flailing his hands in his panic.
'N-No, no, no, please, please no more,' Sam cried out as he became visibly distraught.
'Sam, hey dude calm down, Sammy, Sammy it's alright, it's all over,' Dean tried to bring his brother back from wherever he was lost in his memories.
'No … no … help me Dean please help me.' Sam sobbed.
'Sam, shh it's okay dude, it's gonna be okay.' Dean climbed onto the bed and positioned himself behind Sam, pinning the younger man to his chest, 'let it out, just let it all out.'
Bobby silently backed out of the room and closed the door behind him, deciding to leave them alone while he concentrated on something he could do; get lunch.
Sam sat resting on the rocker on Bobby's front porch watching his brother and 'uncle' work on the impala giving her a service. His visible injuries had all but healed now, as well as most of his internal ones, the doctors said his hearing should be back to normal in a few weeks or so, the ringing in his ears was annoying but he could handle it. His sight was a different matter though, his right eye was permanently damaged, and although he wasn't blind he would have to wear glasses from now on, not all of the time but while doing any reading or computer work. Which was a considerable amount of time for Sam with their research.
The aforementioned glasses sat on top of his book, rimless with fine metal arms they were a necessary evil in Sam's opinion and fodder for Dean's jokes, although at the moment his brother was behaving himself; how long for was anyone's guess, but for now Sam enjoyed the brief respite from his brother's so-called wit.
Sam hadn't asked Dean what happened to the men who had taken him and Dean never offered the information, it was one more level of guilt Sam didn't need.
'Hey earth to Sammy you okay?' Dean asked as he crouched down in front of his brother, trying to get his attention without touching him. Sam was still skittish and hated to be touched although he refused to say why, Dean just wanted to 'punish' the bastards again.
'Yeah I – I guess, Dean … I'm sorry,' Sam said as he looked at his brother and then found a spot just beyond the porch fascinating, 'I am so sorry.'
'No please let me finish if I hadn't been such a screw up to begin with none of this would've happened.'
'Dammit Sam stop and listen to me,' Dean snapped a little harsher than he had intended but he got Sam's attention, although he wished it wasn't accompanied with the look of a deer caught in headlights. 'None of this is your fault.'
'Yeah it is, I should've been more …'
'No, if it's anyone's fault it's mine, I was the one who sent you out for food so me and Cas could … could work. I am so sorry Sammy for that I should never have let ya go like that.'
'No, no you're wrong Dean, you had every right to do that and not want to…'
'Sam please let it go, it wasn't your fault okay?' Dean asked tiredly, 'they were watching us for weeks, they had planned it all.'
'All of it?' Sam asked nervously he started to swallow repeatedly as though he couldn't keep something from rising back up, 'they planned it? Everything that happened they planned it?'
'Sam? What is it? What's wrong dude?'
'They planned to … oh God Dean how could they?'
Dean felt as though he was going to lose the contents of his own stomach when he realised what Sam was talking about, 'Sammy hey listen …'
'Dean how could they plan to do that? Why would they plan that?' Sam looked at his brother with a miserable look on his face, tears shining in his luminous green eyes, 'I – I didn't deserve it, not that… why? I don't understand.'
'He raped me Dean … why would he plan to do that?' Sam blurted out, as the wracking sobs shook his frail frame, the amount of weight he had lost since this whole ordeal started with the angels and demons and now Lucifer. 'They hurt me, forced me to drink blood that was … and then he raped me, called me his weapon.'
Dean cradled his overly tall and thin brother to his chest and let him sob as his words spewed out, the horror and pain of the beatings, the way they held him down while pouring the tainted blood down his throat, purging himself of the toxins both emotionally and physically.
Dean opened his eyes and found himself standing in Bobby's kitchen in the middle of the night with Castiel next to him. Sam was still curled up on the couch where he had cried himself to sleep a few hours earlier, Dean could see himself sleeping on the floor in his sleeping bag next to the couch; close enough to Sam if he needed him.
'What's going on Cas?' Dean yawned, 'can't you do this in a few more hours?'
'Sam is healed?' Cas asked ignoring Dean's question and the glare levelled at him.
'No but he's getting there,' Dean answered, 'what do you want Cas?'
'I found the demon but his information was of no use,' Castiel said, 'I need you to come with me to find another demon who is reportedly closer to Lucifer.'
'Dean this is important, we have a war to fight…'
'I said no…'
'Sam will be alright left here with Bobby.'
'Screw you Cas, this is how it all started with me thinking Sam would cope without me,' Dean said startling himself with his own confession. 'I'll get back to hunting when Sam is well enough to hunt.'
'He is damaged.'
'He is my brother!' Dean said, 'he might be a little bent but he aint damaged. No more than me anyway.'
'Dean we need to …'
'I need to go back to my dream and you need to go and do whatever it is you angels do with yourselves,' Dean said, 'my brother may be a lot of things, he may have kickstarted the apocalypse but who didn't? He may have made some really stupid decisions but he's still my brother and I am not leaving until he is well enough to come too.'
'You are concerned that he will return to his blood addiction?'
'No, you're twisting my words Cas, for now I just want to forget about Lucifer and Michael and your wars, for now I just want to look after my little brother and help him get through the hell those two bastards put him through.'
'He was raped Cas, he was brutalised, tortured and raped, now I don't give a flying fuck about anything except making sure that he's going to be alright.'
Dean opened his eyes and sat upright, he was lying on the floor next to the couch where Sam still slept; he could hear Bobby's snores as they drifted downstairs, the wind working through the piles of car carcasses and the dogs snuffle at something scrabbling outside. Heaving a big breath, Dean scrapped his hands over his face and looked up at his brother.
For the first time since the nightmare had happened, Sam actually looked peaceful.
'We're gonna get through this Sammy, I promise, we're gonna get through this together,' Dean whispered, 'not gonna let ya down again.' Though the promise felt empty, he had meant it for now, to get Sam through this he meant it. Their brotherly bond was tattered and torn but it was still intact and right here and now, it was all that mattered.