I knock on the door, and he still won't open. I've been sitting outside of Phil's door for nearly twenty minutes, and he just won't open. I came home just a bit earlier to the sound of Phil crying; the worst, heartbreaking noise. I can't stand to see him anything but happy; he deserves to be happy all the time. Deserves it so much more than I do. Of course, I ran to the door and knocked, asking for him, and the sobbing halted and turned to just a quiet sniffle. Whatever it was that was bothering him, he didn't really want me to know. I decided that I should just give him time; let him come out of his room on his own. Besides, he'll have to come out eventually. Come out… I'd done the whole "coming out" thing a month or so ago. Phil was okay with me being gay, and it didn't change anything between us, although sometimes I wish it had. I guess I was hoping he had stronger feelings for me than just friends, but that's just not the case. We'll never be anything more than friends and that tears me up inside. Phil is the light of my life; he changed how I look at the world. I step away from his door, heading into the kitchen.
There it is, the burning, stinging pain on my hip. I knew it'd hit me eventually. I lift up my shirt to peer at the source of the pain when I hear a door creak. I smooth my shirt down again just as Phil walks in, puffy-eyed and gloomy as ever.
"Hi," he says in probably the most monotone voice I've ever heard. He slumps into the couch and I follow directly after him, my face full of concern.
"What's going on Phil? You know you're going to have to tell me eventually; I'm not just going to let this slide. Not if it makes you this upset." I speak as he faces me with those beautiful blue eyes, the eyes you could swim in.
"Laura broke up with me, said I wasn't grown up enough for her. She wants someone with a "real job, not some stupid youtuber." I thought I loved her Dan, I really did. Everything was great… or at least I believed it was, and then she pulled this. I can't believe I actually thought she loved me back! Really, could I be in more of a piece of fucking worthless shit." He was tearing up again. This was obviously serious, considering I haven't heard Phil cuss in years. I stared off into space, trying to form a sentence as quick as I could. Every part of his statement hurt. The fact that she called him stupid, he loves her, and he thinks he's worthless. Phil is the most perfect person I've ever come across, and he thinks he's worthless? If that label goes to anyone, it's me.
"Phil… first of all, you're not worthless. You're the most amazing person I've ever met in my entire life and she isn't even worth your time. You're the last person in this world who should ever hurt this much, and I want you to know I'm here for you. Whatever you want, I'll help you." I said sincerely, somewhat ignoring the fact that he said he loved her. He leaned into my shoulder, soaking my white t-shirt while he cried, which didn't really bother me. I wrapped my arms around him for comfort.
"Hey… have you eaten anything yet today?" I put the tips of my fingers under his chin and lifted his head up so he was looking me in the eyes, "I could make you some Delia Smith pancakes, or we could play Sonic, just whatever you like. You need to get your mind off of this." I smiled lightly at him, and he grinned back.
"Pancakes sound nice… then we could re-watch Kill Bill? Maybe turn it into a movie night." He spoke, and I leaped off the couch, and turned around to pull him up with me. I led the still somewhat gloomy-looking boy to sit at the breakfast bar, and I got out the ingredient for the pancakes.