Chapter 9: Payback

BlueTiger321: So now it's really starting to get interesting: Josh found out that his best friend betrayed him. What's he gonna do about it? Read on and find out for yourselves.


It was night time as both men were back in their hotel suite. The day had gone well for Martin, but Josh had a terrible day when he told his friend about Korra not showing up at the bar like he said she would. Josh sat on the couch in front of the fireplace while Martin stood wearing his housecoat and slippers. After explaining of what happened to him, Martin felt disappointed that the woman had not made her commitment—but he already figured that that wasn't the case since he spent the day with her behind Josh's back and was about to do so again later on that evening.

Martin paced around the suite and faced his friend. "Doesn't make any sense, Josh," he said. "She told me ten o'clock sharp! Are you sure you went to the right bar?"

"Oh yeah," replied Josh. "Yep, I'm pretty sure. Lobby bar, right in the lobby." Looking down, he then said what he thought might've happened. "Ah… well, maybe she had a change of heart."

Keeping up with his ruse, Martin was enraged by the idea. "Oh, that pisses me off! That pisses me right off! I hate when women do that, you know? She told me she wanted to see you again! She told me that! And now no? Now—" He stopped pacing and then said came up with a more plausible explanation.

"Wait a minute! Wait!" said Martin. "She must've meant ten o'clock at night."

Josh shifted his eyes around as he believed the lies that spewed from his friend's mouth. "Do you think?" he said.

"Why would she have you meet her at a bar at ten in the morning?"

Shrugging, Josh decided to go along with it. "I just figured she was a raging alcoholic."

Both men shared a good laugh at the insane thought. Martin was so ecstatic by it that he stomped on the carpet while Josh lifted up his feet and started kicking the air to contain his laughter.

"Oh, that's the…" said Martin, still in a fit of laughter.

"And all this time, I've been going through such pain and personal anguish," said Josh. "Such hell! For nothing!"

Martin was forced to lean on a chair while the thought still went through his head. He then raised himself up and said, "Oh, God. That's funny. Oh, that's good stuff. Oh boy. Well, listen, looks like you've got your night planned, so I'm just gonna head out to catch a flick."

"Okay," said Josh.

Walking away to get changed, Martin paused to turn back to his friend. "Ten in the morning," he said and laughed again before heading into the bedroom.

Josh laughed as well and then stood up. When he was sure that his so-called friend was out of sight, he sneered at him and headed for the bar. Josh knew exactly what his friend was up to and now he was going to make sure that Martin would pay for what he did. On the bar was a platter that contained a teapot, a bowl of sugar, a pot of cream and two separate mugs brought by the hotel staff. To Josh it was the best way for him to exact his revenge without Martin ever finding out. He went behind the bar and began pouring tea into each of the mugs.

"Hey, Martin, old buddy, old pal!" Josh called.

"Yeah?" answered Martin.

"Will you join me in a good-luck toast before you head out?"

Martin came to an opening in the wall and stared at his friend while he wore blue jeans and buttoned up a blue long-sleeved shirt. "Oh, sure thing," he said. "Whatever you think will help your chances." He then walked back in to finish dressing himself.

When he was alone, Josh smirked and put his plan into action. "Yessiree," he said and opened a drawer. "You know why I like you, Martin? Because you're a regular guy." From within the drawer Josh pulled out a small white bottle, and on the label it said Turbo Lax: Instant Relief from Constipation – Caution. "Yep, that's why I want you to stay regular." He held up the bottle close to his face and quoted the line on the back. "One-half teaspoon for fast, effective relief."

The lid to the bottle was unscrewed and Josh held it steadily over one of the mugs. He whistled as he poured in a small amount of the laxative and figured that was probably enough, but then he remembered that Martin stole the love of his life, so he tipped the bottle again and poured in another large amount while he continued to whistle. A laugh then sprang from him and he shifted his eyes. Now he knew that his revenge was set.

Martin was dressed up and joined Josh at the bar in a toast. "Mmm," he said after smelling the tea as Josh handed him the mug.

Josh picked up his own mug and said, "To my friend Martin, the matchmaker."

"Oh, get out of here," Martin said humbly.

Then both men took sips from their mugs. Martin soon picked up on a unique flavour in his tea and said, "Mmm." It tasted rather good. But then Josh raised a hand to the bottom of Martin's mug and poured the rest of the tea down his throat.

"Mm-hmm, mm-hmm," said Martin.

From inside his mug Josh smiled, wanting to make sure that his friend would swallow every last drop of the tea. He brought the mug away from his face and said, "Ahhh" after finishing his tea. Now it was only a matter of time until his plan would take effect.


Martin was finished with his business at the hotel, so he took the Lamborghini and drove through Aspen like he said he would to go see a movie when in reality he was off to see Korra again. A smile crossed his face at the thought of spending the evening with her.

All of a sudden, his smile turned to a frown when he felt a pain in his stomach as it let out a huge rumble. He could feel the fluids moving so quickly that it felt like he was going to explode. He shook his head and focused on his driving. He didn't know what it was, but he figured that something he ate must be causing him such extreme discomfort.


Martin had made it to Korra's house and got up to ring the doorbell, all the while still clutching his stomach as the pain still throbbed and ebbed inside him. But he wasn't going to let it interfere with his date; he would deal with it when the time came.

The intercom next to the doorbell came on and Korra spoke. "Hi, the door's open. Come on upstairs."

The man did as he was asked and entered the house to go up the stairs to the second floor. While he waited for Korra he looked around the house and figured how nice it was for her to live in such an elegant place. Just then, Korra came in from behind him.

"Hi," she said.

"Hi," he said as he turned around.

"Hi, make yourself at home, okay? I'm almost ready. One minute?"

"Okay, sounds good."

"Okay." Korra then walked off to get ready.

When Martin was by himself, he took off his jacket and suddenly felt his stomach emit a violent gurgle. Then he felt it all the way down to his bowels. A look of worry came upon him as he thought that he would have to take care of the problem immediately, or else he would embarrass himself in front of Korra. Martin then went to open a door only to find it locked, so he tried the door next to it but it was also locked. He ran to the door on the other side of the hall and opened it. A sigh of relief came to him when he saw that it led to a bathroom.

Right away Martin dropped his jacket on the floor and lifted the toilet's lid. His stomach continued to gurgle but he knew that it would eventually be over. After unzipping his jeans then pulling them down along with his underwear, he sat down on the toilet. The moment he did he opened his bowels, and then there was a loud sputtering sound that echoed in the bowl. All the pressure of holding in the excrement forced him to lift his legs and open his mouth wide as it came spewing out of his rear at an alarming rate. Martin trilled at the pain that he felt as the stools kept coming out of him. He lowered his legs and stomped his feet on the floor until his stomach finally settled.

Letting out deep sighs and holding his forehead, Martin finally relaxed as his bowels were empty and all he kept doing was breaking wind. After one last little toot, he laughed at the sound it made.

But then the putrid smell started to fill the bathroom. Martin thought that as a courtesy to Korra he should get the horrible stench out before she would notice. He opened up the adjacent window and fanned out the smell with his hands, but then he came up with a better way by grabbing one of the hand towels and using it instead. Another sigh came out of the man when he knew the worst part was over.

A knock came on the bathroom door that startled Martin.

"Martin, are you in there?" said Korra.

The man didn't want her to worry about what happened to him and also felt a little embarrassed. "Be right out!" he said.

Korra looked worried that her friend was using the bathroom for one thing, so she was compelled to tell him. "I hope you're not using the toilet—it's broken."

A look of horror was sprawled across Martin's face when he thought he heard those dreaded words. "Huh?" he said.

"The toilet doesn't flush," said Korra.

Thinking fast, Martin came up with a lie. "No, I was just shaving."

"Shaving?" Korra said confusedly.

"Yeah. I was running a little late; I thought this would save some time."

Convinced by the lie, Korra nodded and was glad to hear that Martin wasn't going to the bathroom. "Okay, well, I'll be in the kitchen whenever you're ready."

Back in the bathroom, Martin looked down in the toilet bowl to see the gigantic mess he made. He looked back up in disgust and said, "Oh Jeez!" Now he was facing a serious problem: tell Korra what really went on in the bathroom or try to fix it himself.


Meanwhile across the city, Josh laughed devilishly while he drove the Hog as he figured that Martin was probably having a very miserable time after spiking his drink. Now with him out of the picture, he thought, he was free to go see Korra and set out with what he originally had in mind.


Korra stood in the kitchen with Rosie while she held her pet fire ferret Pabu in her arms. The TV on the counter was on and displayed A Current Affair. After the logo was up and the trademark sound was heard, the scene then shifted to the news anchor, Kent Brockman, walking out of an apartment building.

"Tomorrow on A Current Affair," said Brockman, "inside the home of the Mario Brothers' attorney. And next, we'll be back in a minute with the heartbreaking story of the blind Rhode Island girl who was duped into buying a dead Pidgey."

The scene then shifted to Toph sitting in her wheelchair with Paulie in her hands. She wept and said, "I just thought he was real quiet."

The logo returned along with the sound, and then the program went to a commercial.

Korra was appalled at the sight of the story, thinking that someone would actually take advantage of a blind child like that. "Who are these sick people?" she said to Rosie.

Just then the doorbell rang, so Korra lowered Pabu to the floor and went over to answer it. Out on the doorstep was Josh, who Korra had no idea was the sick person she wondered about on the TV.

Josh looked into Korra's eyes. They were the most beautiful shade of blue he had ever seen and he was glad to be so close to her. "Hi!" he said.

"Hi," said Korra. "Yes?"

"Remember me?"

Korra was dumbfounded by the question. There was no recollection in her memory about ever seeing that man before. "Uh…" she said, "not really."

Josh was a little heartbroken by the answer, so he then jogged her memory. He stuttered, "Providen—" Afterward he spoke normally. "Providence. I drove you to the airport last week."

Korra then remembered who the man was: the eccentric chauffeur she met. "Oh my God!" she said with a smile. She then paused to come up with his name. "Uh… Josh, right?"

Hearing her say his name made the man feel touched. Now he was certain they were destined to be together, he thought.

"You remembered my name," said Josh.

"What are you doing in Aspen?" asked Korra.

"I brought you your briefcase. You left it at the airport, you big goof!"

Korra was shocked to hear those words. All this time she was worried about never having the chance to free her husband, and now all of a sudden right there was the miracle for which she had prayed—and it had come from the most unlikely person.

"You have my briefcase?" she said in an overjoyed voice.

"Yeah," replied Josh. He pointed behind him and kept talking. "Hey, I have it at my hotel room. You want to jump on the bike with me? We can go get it unless…" He glanced inside the home and decided that he should make the woman beg to be with him. He finished off by saying, "…unless you're busy."

But Korra stopped him before she thought he would leave. "Oh, no, no, no! No, no!"

"I don't wanna—"

"You just wait right there!" All that excitement made Korra almost forget her date with Martin, so she would have to inform him of what was happening.

"Okay."

"Okay?"

Korra went back into the house and headed for where Martin was.


Back in the bathroom, Martin had pulled up his underwear and stood over the toilet with a worried expression on his face. Knowing that he could never tell Korra of the huge mess he made with the broken toilet, he would attempt to fix it and make the waste go away.

The toilet's lid was lifted off. Martin tried jiggling the handle a couple of times. But no matter how much he tried, the toilet would not flush just as Korra told him so.

"Come on, flush, you bastard," Martin said in frustration.

In an act of unknown stupidity, Martin took out the toilet's float arm and let it rest on the floor, thinking it wasn't a vital part. He then went back to flushing but still there were no results.

Korra heard the noises from the other side and said, "Martin, what are you doing in there?"

Martin panicked and came up with another lie. "Uh, I'm just… I'm cleaning my teeth!"

There was a clatter as Martin had removed the entire toilet bowl from the floor since he found no other way to dispose of the waste. He lifted the toilet and carried it over to the window where he emptied out all the excrement down the side of the house. There was a foul stench that came forth as Martin did so and he tried his best to endure it.

"I'm cleaning my teeth," he said in a reassuring voice.

But Korra heard a sound that was quite different. "Martin?" she called.

Martin let down the toilet and said, "I'm gargling. Just give me a minute, Korra. I'll be right with you." He then lifted it back up and continued dumping out the waste.

Korra knew that she couldn't wait any longer, so she did up her jacket and said, "Martin, I'm sorry, but something important's come up, and I've got to run out. It's sort of an emergency. I'll explain later."

"But, Korra!" There was then a loud sound inside the bathroom.

"I'm sorry. I've really got to go. I promise we'll do this again sometime."

And with that, Korra walked away and out of the house with Josh to finish her most important piece of business.


BlueTiger321: Well, that chapter was interesting.

Josh: Yeah, but not too interesting for Martin.

Martin: Aw, man! I spent most of this chapter on the crapper! *stomach grumbles* Uh-oh! *runs off to Korra's bathroom*

Korra: That toilet's still broken!

Martin: Aw, dammit!

BlueTiger321: Well, folks, the next chapter will be where everything comes together, so be sure to stay tuned for that. Until next time…

Josh and Korra: Read and review!