"Nice. Too bad I didn't bring my laptop."
While Thea liked the place Evan was utterly indifferent to it. He had stayed at much nicer places before, and regrettably one less hospitable...so he supposed it'd suffice.
"Pity, you'll just have to find another way to keep yourself occupied," a wicked grin threatened to grace his features. Thea ignored his suggestive tone as she jumped over the couch and landed on it. Her phone mystically flew out of her pants, up into the air then landed in her open hand. Away she went, back to texting, propping her feet up onto the table. Evan removed his shoes, his jacket, and then decided to shirk his shirt as well. It wasn't as if he was going to be needing the garment, or his pants for that matter. He looked at the dark haired woman that he'd picked up and a wicked idea formed in his head.
"Hey, my magical network of bishies just saw what we were looking for... And they know where it's going." Thea called out to Evan who was sauntering away with the woman towards the bedroom.
"Hu, well that's rather fortunate." Evan said in between bouts of whispering things in the dark haired woman's ear, "You're whores work quickly."
"The wonderful B.P.R.D." She smiled at how ironic it was. The two of them couldn't find it, or the butcher, but those morons did.
"Fantastic, well that's fantastic news and all, but now if you'll excuse me...I'm rather hungry and I'd like to enjoy my dinner." With those parting words he tossed the last remaining article of clothing he'd had on, his boxers, at Thea -where they conveniently landed on top of her head, before dashing up the stairs. She let the boxers fall on her head simply because she DID NOT want to see him naked. The image would be forever burned into her mind and what had been seen cannot be unseen. Evan may not have gotten the reaction he had wanted out of Thea, there were always other opportunities to do so later. Once he was gone Thea grabbed the boxers and debated about what she could do with them. Or some other piece of clothing.
She grabbed one of his socks, threw it into the sink turned the water on, and then threw the wet sock into the freezer. Done with the deed, Thea exited the apartment, taking a spare key with her, and headed to the store to satisfy her craving and to ignore Evan because the poor man who went to buy cigarettes and candy for Evan and her never appeared.
As soon as they were within the confines of the woman's room, Evan's rather composed exterior was discarded like a snake shedding its skin.
"What's your name?" He asked as he looked her over in a way that could only be called 'predatory'.
"Nora," she replied. She had been playful and flirty downstairs, but now as she caught the full power of that look in his eyes and she acted more like a frightened child.
"No, you're whoever and whatever I want you to be," he was undeniably charming, and welcoming. However, there was also that edge to him that ought to have set off all of Nora's internal alarms signaling danger and that she should run away -not that she'd get very far mind you.
Evan was quite aware of Thea leaving, having heard the door close. He wished her as much luck with her late night activities as he was about to have. Then Evan pulled Nora toward him, "Darlin', I may not remember your name in the morning," the pupils of his eyes expanded a little more than what was probably considered human and then promptly retracted to normal size, "but you'll sure remember mine."
Thea picked up both of Evan's shoes and frozen sock, walked back to couch and threw his left shoe as hard as possible against the bedroom door.
Now, the right shoe.
Thea was thoroughly enjoying herself because of the sheer stupidity of what she was doing.
After a rather long night Evan awoke to the sound of something thumping against his -at least for the moment- bedroom door. It did not cease, and so he disentangled himself from the dark haired woman, Beth or something -frankly he couldn't remember- and made his way to the door. Before he finally got there he heard a rather loud thump followed by a spalt and that's when he decided that he was truly pissed off that someone had disrupted his slumber.
"Aww the sock thawed..." Thea said in a highly disappointed voice as she watched the sock slowly ooze down the door.
"I should have frozen his shirt as well.." She mused as she waited for Evan to burst out yelling something obscene at her while throwing something back at her.
"Oh well. I guess I can go get the piece myself from Hellyboy..." Thea stated as she casually walked behind the couch, ready to duck.. Just in case. Quietly though, he transformed into a spider and made his way into the front room living area. Once Evan found Thea seeking refuge behind the couch he crawled his way down the wall and over to where she stood. He transformed back to his usual self, choosing to stand right behind her.
"What are you hiding from, darlin'?" His voice deep, dark, and foreboding.
Thea didn't jump, she had become rather used to Evan appearing in unorthodox places.
"Naturally I'm hiding from Freddy. I hate his hat." She stated looking at her cellphone.
"Also his fashion sense. Additionally, that splat was your sock, the boomshakalaka was you and the loud thud was your shoes. Oh, the piece is at Hellboy's pad. They picked up the box and took it back as a memento." She finally moved her eyes away from the constant flow of messages on her phone to Evan's eyes.
"What on earth made you think that you could wake me in such a manner?" His voice wasn't outright angry; it was rather a calm tone with an underlying rage hidden just below the surface. After all, running on one hour of sleep was not productive for him
"Who said I was thinking? You know that happens sometimes." Thea replied curious as to why Evan was angry, she did stunts like this all the time to him. With a roll of his eyes Evan just let the whole matter go. As a being who didn't require sleep Thea would never understand why it was so important and therefore why he was rather pissed.
"I see, well, what do you have to say for yourself exactly?" His questioned as he processed the rest of her sentences.
"As for myself. I have to say I have a nice body and if I was to walk into the BPRD they would know who I was right away. I, well.. Let's just say, messed with them some time ago and they're not very forgiving."
She smiled at him. Then off she went over the couch, "Well if we're going soon, how about getting dressed. I don't want to shell out more money to get you bailed out on public indecency. Again."
"Like you'd have to. Not a person alive would put me away...cept that one old guy from Georgia, he was just not up for a good time, grumpy old geezer." Evan muttered.
"Well, we should probably get going soon then."
"Yes, yes all mighty half demon. You'll be the one sneaking in and out." Thea grinned, she was excited that she didn't have to go back to that place.
"Well then, the mighty half-demon decrees that you make him a cup of coffee while he goes and makes himself, by human standards, decent." He said before making his way back to his room. Evan quickly threw on his clothes from last night, it wasn't the most sanitary thing to do, but it was necissary. He'd change as soon as they went back to his place.
"Very well then. One cup of coffee for the one cup of demon. I'll put in a hint of awesome just for you." Thea called out as Evan walked away. She wasn't serious about anything except for the coffee. One cup of the darkest coffee that the woman's coffee maker could produce
Once the cup of black coffee, resting in a festive cat cup, was carefully placed on the properly named coffee table. Thea laid back and continued to stare at her phone clicking away at the keys, talking to whoever it was on the other side until Evan smell, the glorious smell. He could smell the coffee brewing down the hall and Evan could already feel better. As if just smelling the dark, warm liquid could breathe life back into him. He closed the door, thanked the universe that Joan -or whatever her name was- was a deep sleeper, and then made his way back to the living room.
"You were there before, so you remember the layout possibly? Well, depending on how long ago you were there I mean."
"In order to give you the layout I need my laptop, back at our place. So, did you procure us a ride?"
Immediately Evan picked up the cup of coffee and downed about a third of it in one gulp. The scorching liquid seared his throat, but it was worth it.
"You always know how to make the best cup of coffee...How do you manage that?" He said as he downed another third.
"It's very simple Evan, I've had hundreds of years to refine the art of making one hell of a badass cup of coffee." She grinned while Evan downed the super hot cup of coffee.
"Ah, yes, our ride," Evan smirked as he finished the cup off and left it atop the coffee table. "Grab your things and I'll show you our ride." He dangled a set of keys in front of her face. A pair of keys that belonged to a beautiful, ink black motorcycle with indigo accents outside.
Thea stood up as Evan did watching him twirl the keys, "I already have everything on me."
As she stepped outside she should have known that it belonged to a motorcycle. He was obsessed with motorcycles; she prayed that for once when he stole some keys it would belong to a sleek car. That dream will never come true. She sighed, waited for him to get on it, then jumped on the back and waited for him to tear down the road and back to the apartment.
He promptly did just that.
"Even though I wouldn't die in a bike accident I feel as if I were to fall off with you driving I would be smeared across the ground for miles upon miles." She hated driving with him; it's one of the few things that she feared.
Evan was a good driver. Now having said that, he also sped like the devil was chasing him, always. He could just be out on an errand to grab something from the market -not that he'd ever really do something so mundane, but yet he'd still speed like no tomorrow. His way of thinking was this: If the bike had a maximum speed of two hundred miles or more, then what was the point of only going sixty or less?
Evan just smirked as Thea held onto him with a deathgrip for fear of falling off. Despite the fact that she was nearly indestructable, every time she held onto him for dear life. Besides the rush of speed and adrenaline, that was perhaps his favorite part of riding a motorcycle. It also didn't hurt that they looked amazing.
When they finally arrived at his house, Evan parked the bike inside the garage and tapped Thea's hands.
"Let go luv, need to be getting on our way," with a roguish smile he added, "We can cuddle later if that's what you want."
She sighed giving up, Evan always had her after a bike ride. Always. Instead she went inside their pad and booted up her laptop, loaded the proper files and projected them onto an empty wall. Evan threw his things on a table and then proceeded to sit down in a nearby chair.
"First, we need to get you transferred in. Easy enough. Second, a reasonable background. Nothing too flashy, dull or typical. Easy. Third, getting you past the barriers without having the place light up like a whore house with a free shipment of drugs. Medium. Fourth, getting to the object, grabbing it and out of the place without anyone being the wiser. Hard. This place is monitored like big sister watching big brother. My whores managed to get one and two done last night. As for three, you'll be stuck with a heavily blessed wristwatch. Which is within the dress code. Oh yeah. Small detail. You'll need to place this," She held out a small USB jump drive, "in one of the computers in order for me to get into their entire system. Without being caught on camera."
Thea motioned toward the screen, "memorize this layout. It is slightly old so there might be some differences. Keep that in mind. Oh right. The ear piece, what would you like? Simple stud, loop or something more flamboyant?" She teased.
"While that all sounds good and dandy, the fact that I'm half demon means that the heavily blessed wristwatch you speak of is not going to be alright. Now, unlike regular demons it won't kill me or whatnot, but it may leave marks. I will have to make sure to constantly shift that part of me, to make sure they are none the wiser of anything being 'amiss' about me." Evan stated logically.
"Right well, for the most part that doesn't sound too bad. Studs or loops darlin' nothing too flashy, because really, when the rest of me is as impressive as it is...Who's going to be looking at my ears? As for my new face, rather handsome devil isn't he? Where'd you drag this look up?" The man had dark brown hair, honey colored eyes rather than blue, looked about early forties with chiseled features. Thea had very good taste, Evan wasn't sure if he could've picked better if he tried.
"I assumed that you would be able to shift around that wonderfully convenient elfish part of you to where the watch was sitting. Studs it is then." She lazily tossed the studs at Evan and continued on with their planning.
"Yes, but it's far more difficult that regular shifting. It may take a little longer than normal which shouldn't be a problem now, but if something should go awry and I have to change forms more than twice, three times tops...we are screwed." Evan explained.
"You mean, you are screwed. I'll be on the outside chilling. While you wade around the hornet's nest."
Briefly Evan scanned the files, "So my name is Andrew Mason, I'm fourty two years old, a wife named Emily, two children named Cassandra and Zachary, one fluffy dog named Vincent...blah blah blah, and I used to be in the military for sixteen years. Anything else I should remember?" Evan questioned, "Also, what would this Andrew Mason sound like? An American I suppose, but still, unsure of the rest."
"I dated him back in 1935, sadly I was too 'wild' for him. He was a charming army man. Charming until the end. As for the American bit, yes, but don't make him sound as if he's one of those southern hicks or yankees. Unsure about what? Evan being unsure. Priceless. Oh that's where that cord is." Thea explained while she noticed a lone cord mostly hidden by the couch. At the end of it was her headset that she would be talking to Evan through.
"I would never make the man a hick. Trust me," his voice shifted, it was half a touch higher than his but still quite alluring, "He'll be every bit as charming, and every bit the gentleman I am."
"Next, we're going in tonight. Here's your back story and look" She pressed a button and the image switched from a layout to a picture of rather attractive man. Slightly older than what Evan was currently stuck at.
"Are you ready?" Thea smiled excited for their daring adventure into the BPRD.
"Almost sweetheart, can't rush perfection."
"I'll answer more questions about the mission in the pimp van." Thea cheered while picking up her beloved laptop and a large mysterious bag by the door.
The mysterious pimp van was a simple soccer mom van in dull tan, but behind the front seats was a computer setup that would make a geek jealous.
"Now go make your wonderful wife Emily proud." Thea teased with an alarmingly huge grin on her face.