A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone! I followed the majority and had a face to face meeting!
One year ago, I firmly resolved never to fall in love again. Never to fall into that awful death trap that turns people into mindless souls. When my heart was broken, I forgot everything else and focused on one goal-defeating Shotaro. I wanted to revel in the despair of the one who had snatched away all my happiness. I wanted him to come groveling at my feet, begging my pardon for having thrown me away so carelessly.
But life is not that simple. I made new friends and gradually began to lose sight of my goal. I started to fall in love with acting. My passion and interest in acting and everyone in my life helped my life gain a level of stability beyond my wildest imagination. I had a vague idea of my revenge plan, but I was too happy and busy to brood over that. Tsuruga san would have been proud to know that.
As my thoughts turned to Tsuruga –san, I was brought crashing back to the present. I glanced at the letter in my hand for the thousandth time. My first letter from Tsuruga san. My first love letter. A letter which confirmed my worst fears about that man. He was a danger to my heart. It has happened before. Not once, not twice, but many times now. It started with a simple kiss on the cheek. That was the trigger! After that, no matter how many locks I put in my heart, he easily blew them apart with a mere glance or a touch or a smile.
I didn't like the signs. I couldn't say for sure what my feelings were. And the fact that I could not define what was in my own heart frightened me even more.
And then came the bombshell-this letter. Simple, honest, telling me straight from the heart how much he loved me. That's what freaked me out at first. Then I read the letter again. And again. And again. I wanted to cry and laugh with joy, but why, I still didn't know. Was I in love again? I couldn't say. There was a stubborn streak within me that rebelled against being honest with myself. I still had that tiny fear that this would not work out, though I knew in my heart that Tsuruga san would always cherish the girl he loved.
I read the letter again, warmth spreading within me, as I became more and more convinced about this fact. I sighed unhappily and began to pace the floor, frustration growing within me.
Why?! Why again? Why only me? I banged into the bedroom wall, lost in my thoughts. Rubbing my head in pain, I found the object of my frustration staring serenely back at me. I glared at Tsuruga san's poster for a moment and wanted to hate him for stirring up those long lost emotions within me. He didn't mean to do that of course, but that didn't make me less angrier.
On an impulse, I tore his poster from the wall, crumpled it and threw it into the trash. Maybe I thought it would clear up my thoughts, my dilemma…But I was wrong.
I stared at Sho's poster on the wall and an uncontrollable rage filled me. I savagely tore out Sho's poster , tore it into as many pieces I could, set a match to them, and for good measure, flushed the ashy remains down the toilet.
I took out Tsuruga san's poster out from the trash and smoothed it. If his poster can't be there on the wall, then sho's has absolutely no place there either!, I thought to myself fiercely.
I froze. Did I just think that?!, I wondered incredulously. I stared at the poster for a few seconds and made up my mind. I put the letter in my purse and went out.
I stood nervously in front of the door, half hoping he would not open it, that he was not at home. It was therefore a surprise to me, that I was relieved when he opened it.
"Kyoko?", he said my name a little hesitantly, taking me by surprise. For the first time, I noticed the way the corners of his mouth turned up and the way his eyes softened when they looked at me. Little details that I had observed, but which had never clicked. Tsuruga san was right. I am dense.
I was so busy with my new found discovery, that I did not return his greeting. He misunderstood my silence. He took it as a refusal to acknowledge him close enough to be on a first name basis. As quickly as I saw his features light up with happiness, I saw them dull. With a sad smile on his lips, he invited me in.
"Come in Mogami san.", he said, opening the door for me to enter. I went inside, trying to ignore the heaviness in my heart when he called me 'Mogami san'. It sounded so distant and cold, that for a moment I considered running for it. Maybe he had written the letter as a joke. Maybe he had changed his mind. My thoughts were nonsense! I scolded myself that Tsuruga san would never be so cruel as to write a love letter as a joke.
We made our way to the drawing room in silence. I wondered what it would be like to be on a first name basis with Tsuruga san. I would call him..( I struggled for a moment)..Ren! I blinked in surprise. Ren,Ren,Renny,Ren! It had a nice ring to it, I thought, smiling to myself. I wouldn't mind calling him Ren. I opened my mouth to say so as we sat down, but immediately clamped my mouth shut, my face red. I couldn't ask him something like that. I simply didn't have the guts! Then again, he was the one who wanted to call me Kyoko, and it would be rude to refuse.
I completely forgot the purpose of my visit and began a stupid, pointless debate about the first name basis issue in my head. Luckily, Ren, I mean, Tsuruga san interrupted my thoughts.
"So I take it you got my letter?", he asked , smiling his gentle smile.
That smile should be banned!, I thought blushing furiously. "Yes.", I muttered, not looking at him.
"I'm sorry, would you mind repeating that a bit louder?", he asked moving a bit closer. That freaked me out.
"YES!", I practically shouted, moving away a little and glaring at him. I regretted that immediately. If he turned into the Demon Lord, I could always run for it and come back when he had calmed down. But I could not handle the flash of anger, pain and sadness that finally settled on his face. I had hurt him!
"Tsuruga san,", I said a little hesitantly, reaching out to touch his face, anything to get that awful look off his face. He caught my hand quickly and gently set it down.
"Don't be sorry.", he tried to say causually, but I didn't miss the faint bitterness in his voice. "It's better than hearing a straight 'NO'. And I don't blame you for your decision."
"Mogami san,", he continued in a trembling , pleading voice that made me feel even more guilty, "Can't we at least be frien-"
"NO!", I screamed out wildly. He stared at me wide-eyed.
"Please,", I begged, "Call me anything you like. Call me Kyoko, Kyoko-chan..just don't look at me like that! Don't talk like we'll never meet again."
My eyes were shining with tears now. He stretched his hand as though to wipe them away. I closed my eyes and held his hand against my face, never wanting to let go. They were warm and loving and comforting all at the same time. And I loved the way he could provide so much comfort with just one touch. "Please..", I whispered, "Don't leave me."
"Why would I leave you?", he asked, sounding shocked. He stretched out his other hand and wrapped me in his strong embrace. Every emotion that I felt with his one touch increased manifold as I was in his arms. He was everywhere within me, loving me, comforting me and loving me all over again. I clung to him and finally let the tears flow.
"Kyoko?", he gently stroked my hair. I continued to sob as I realized that he had won. I had tried to fight him, and the emotions he aroused in me. I did everything I could, made every excuse I could think of, like him, anything not to fall in love again. And I had lost. I had been so blind not to realize my feelings before, and so stupid for having wanted to stay that way.
All those months, all those moments, everything he had done for me, all were acts of love. But I had been too dense, as he put it, to realize it. And unknowingly, I had hurt him. Thanking him for his help, and always treating him like a senior, but never like a friend. Avoiding him when I thought he was dangerous for my heart.
My sobs gradually subsided and I finally pulled myself away and sat up straight. I was determined to say it no matter what. I was not going to hurt him anymore. I looked at him steadily, and gave him my answer.
"I love you Ren.", I said softly. I saw a smile start on his face. "And I think I've been in love with you for quite some time. I love everything about you-the way you make me laugh when I think I'll never be able to smile again, the way you scold me, take care of me and do everything to protect me. I took so long to realize it Ren, and like you I tried to deny my love."
I then did something that I would never have dared to do before. I stretched towards him, and gave him a kiss on his lips. He stared at me, happiness clearly etched on his handsome features. "Thank you Ren, for loving me , and teaching me to move on in life. I realize now that there are things worth living for, other than revenge..Thank you for saving me. And I'll always love you, no matter what happened in your past, or what might happen in the future…"
Ren smiled at me and pulled me into his embrace again. I squeaked with surprise when he genlt turned his face to kiss me. The kiss was beyond anything I had ever experienced. I gasped, pulling him closer, as he explored my mouth, gently, lovingly, arousing emotions and sensations totally foreign to me. I felt alive and happy to be in love once again. Love filled me with a happiness I had almost forgotten.
And only Ren can give me that happiness. Now and forever…
A/N: THANKS FOR READING EVERYONE! YOU KNOW THE BIGGEST JOKE ABOU THIS STORY, OR RATHER THIS CHAPTER IS THAT I CAN NEVER IMAGINE KYOKO REACTING LIKE THAT!
ANYWAY..ITS NICE TO TAKE THINGS INTO MY HANDS FOR ONCE! XD
Please review and let me know if you'd like me to spice it up, like tell me what you want me to add and I might edit it..
Thank you again!