Author's Note: This chapter took a few days before Gambino died.
Chapter 2: Johnny's Letter
I and Edmund have been searching for you for many days, weeks, or even months! We phoned every individual that we both know. We went to every street in the mainland, but we still did not find you. Every night, I could not lie on my bed unless I see your face and your smile. I now realize the reason for your disappearance. It is not by any of our enemies, but it is my own, very fault.
When you were born into this world, I and your mother were the most elated parents. We were blessed with an adorable little boy. Every night, I would tell stories and sing lullabies to you. I would talk to your mother on how to plan those weekend getaways with you. I and your mother would wonder what you would wish to be when you grew up. I felt the happiness of having a family, but unfortunately, that joy was cut short.
Ever since your mother had passed I swore to the spirits that I will protect you no matter what. At the same time, I was terrified on how I am going to handle being your only guardian. Because of my fear, I had become the crazy father you knew.
Every time I observed your milestones – learning how to walk, going to school, and graduating from boarding school - I became more anxious that I would lose you. You were the only family member I had. You reminded me of your mother. Losing you would mean that I lost your mother again. I became protective so I had the assurance that you will always be there by my side.
I admit that I sometimes resent you. Since you reminded me of your mother, you also reminded me of the pain that I went through. I frequently give you those cold stares for that reason. When I was not in the mood, I wished that you won't be in my presence. I would regret those times I had a grudge against you. Losing your mother was not your fault.
I know that I hid some facts from you. I had one purpose – I wanted to spare you from the pain. I sense that you already know what really happened to your mother. I regret not revealing that to you. It would be more agreeable for the both of us if you knew the truth from me.
I wish that someday I may see you again. I hope that you may see this letter. I am deeply sorry for all my shortcomings to you. Please remember that I will love you for whoever you are.