Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters depicted in this fanfiction, sadly.

So this is my first fanfic in about 2 or 3 years, so hopefully it's not bad and I did the characters justice. Never written in a POV for a drunken person so I'm not entirely sure how good it is. Please leave me a review it would be very much appreciated :)

I initially wanted this to be a one-shot but because the way it came out I may possibly write a 2nd part/sequel to this if anyone would like to see it! Let me know :)

"Oh! Tatsuya please! Harder, harder! Your cock is soooooo good!"

I think my eyes are bleeding. I thought to myself numbly.

I had two hundred pages left to go and so far there were at least five sex scenes in a four hundred page book. God only knew how many more my uncle Jiraiya had managed to squeeze into this plot-less piece of shit.

"Why the hell do you need me to read this… this word porn anyways!?" I froze when I read the word "pocket-rocket" and slapped a hand to my face in frustration. I glowered at my uncle who was enjoying his fifth cigarette of the day and his seventh cup of vodka. "Do I look like a fucking horny forty year old housewife to you?"

"Well, when you wear those short-shorts, you kinda look like a butch lesbian from behind." Jiraiya took another swig of his cigarette, and grinned. "Naruto, you were the one who said that you needed the money."

Yeah ass-wipe, but you couldn't pay me enough to do this!

"Then why couldn't you have given me a fucking normal job!? You don't even have a job! It's a miracle people buy this shit!" I gestured to the manuscript in front of me. I had a collection of pens and sharpies spread out over the table that I was using to edit the damn monstrosity.

"Listen here kiddo; you're the one who was whining about not having a job. I'm paying you quite well to read my masterpiece! You should consider yourself lucky! You're getting to read the whole thing before it hits the shelves!" He took another breath in before he put out the cancer stick. "Some of my more… zealous fans have made it their personal mission in life to spoil this book. I can't have the manuscript leave this house until it's done and in the hands of someone I can trust! Last time I took a book to my editor, a whole chapter was leaked out!" He grumbled. "Fucking Facebook."

I just rolled my eyes. Grabbing a red pen I made sure to murder the words 'purple-headed warrior'.

Working for my uncle as an editor was putting a few more colorful words in my vocabulary, and quite a few new ways to say penis that I did not need to know about. Sometimes I think he put some of this stuff in just piss me off.

He saw what I had just crossed out and snorted. "It's not my fault you blush like a virgin." He gulped down his vodka in one shot and started to stagger towards the door before I could even say anything. I glared daggers at him when he turned around.

Oh, if only my eyes were fucking laser-beams. How the hell are we related again?

"Listen brat, finish up and in an hour or two a rep from the publishing company is going to stop by and pick up the book. I'm tru- trusting you against better judgment!" He lifted his empty glass high. "I've gotta go get more. More cigarettes. Do not give it to anyone without checking ID! *Hic*. T—hisssss will not be Twilight!" And with that he slammed the door behind him, taking his drunken ass out into public.

Where he'll get arrested, hopefully.

I sighed in relief. Finally peace. Still how the hell was I supposed to get two hundred pages done in "an hour or two"?

The manuscript was sitting there, still open to that god-awful sex scene. Page 234 huh. I peered closer at the sentence I had stopped at and rolled my eyes again. The dialogue was just so unbelievable. The sex was just too cheesy, and in this scene the couple was fucking in the most ridiculous position that could have only been found on Kama Sutra Google searches. Although, for once uncle's lead male character wasn't the cliché playboy who found the one and decided to "settle-down".

My friend Sakura would always try to get me to read her endless supply of romance novels once she found out I was gay too. She told me Ino, her girlfriend, wouldn't touch them so I was obligated as her gay best friend to spend time with her and read them. I didn't really understand how her female logic worked but I got hooked into reading the books somehow. My experience in reading so many (the official number shall never be uttered!) was the only reason why my uncle was giving me this job. Still the books were always so fucking predictable. It was the same shit over and over again with lots of porn to distract from the broken record.

So I guess I had to give my uncle props, though the girl was a bit of ditzy character, and a bit of a dumbass.

Whoa, Naruto. You're starting to care. At that thought I stopped, and noticed I had the pen in my hand, hovering just inches over the book, about to write a suggestion of all things.

I very quickly unclicked the thing, and leaned back into the couch, away from the book.

The pen was still in my hand.

I was getting paid for this, a better and more rational part of my brain reasoned. But, this was uncle Jiraiya of all people. The day I help him, he goes sober and doesn't spend the day acting like a fucking pervert. No more hitting on anything with a skirt and using 'research for my book' as an excuse to travel and go peep at foreign women. And just like me helping, that would be just as impossible.

Not working seemed like a good idea, so I chucked the pen over the counter across the room, and it landed somewhere in the kitchen. I laughed and snuggled into the couch. I hadn't been in my uncle's house in a while. I was staying with my godfather for college since I couldn't afford anything, so gas was a precious thing unless money was involved.

He kept the place relatively clean. That is, if you call porn magazines left on every available horizontal space, neat. The living room walked right into the kitchen, and everything else was down the hall. It was small, but I couldn't see anyone wanting to move in with my uncle anytime in this existence.

I peered around looking to see if he had made any changes besides recycling the playboy issues, when I noticed the bottle of vodka just sitting there, so innocently on the kitchen counter.

Jiriya had a regular sized cabinet dedicated to his booze, and he treasured it almost as much as he loved his porn. The thing was three fourths full so there was still plenty left... and I did turn 21 not too long ago…

It was calling out to me. I swear some little voice in my head was telling me to go down what was left of that bottle.

"Naru, you know you want me. I'm sitting here, water sliding down my body, just waiting for you to come over here and put your pretty little mouth on me…"

Oh god, Jiraiya was poisoning my mind. I shook my blond head real hard and slapped my cheeks a couple times. Still I found myself meandering over to the bottle, making sure to skip the pages ahead at least a hundred pages before I went over to the alcohol.

Fifteen minutes later I had at least four glasses and had managed to rewrite a few things. Even being shitfaced I could do this shit! Well a lot better than my pervy uncle anyways. I was in the middle of removing more strange nick-names for penises and… other things when the doorbell rang.

Finally, I can get rid of this piece of shit.

I set down my glass, smacked my lips and marched up to the door. I was walking perfectly straight and definitely not swaying on my way. I giggled and grabbed the handle and flung it open. A tall black haired man was standing on uncle's doorstep. He looked quite surprised when I opened the door; I guess it was probably because he was expecting my pervy old uncle and not me and my sexy good looks. He was dressed in nice dress clothes; a blue silk shirt and black slacks that looked pretty damn good on him. I gave him a big grin and leaned against the doorframe.

He's pretty. The man's skin was smooth, and totally opposite of my tan complexion; it looked like marble. I scrunched up my eyebrows when I saw his blackberry in his hand and an amused expression on his face.

Must be the rep dude!

"Yo-youuuu're here!" I sang happily and reached over and grabbed his arm. "Finnnnalllly! I can rid of it!" The guy was a bit surprised when I suddenly wrapped my arm around him and dragged him into the house.

"You would not believe! The fucking sex scenes in this thing!" I pointed to the manuscript on the table and the rep sent a confused look at me though I saw his lips quirk a bit. I didn't know why he'd be confused about it. I looked back at the book. It was then that I realized that the book was still open and I hadn't finished editing. Whoops.

"I totally- totally finished the editing!" I lied through my teeth and marched over to the couch. I very innocently closed the book and waved it at the rep. "Are you gonna take it away now? Jiriya has been writing such stupid things in here!" I sniggered. "He called a ding-a-ling a bratwurst! And don't get me started on the girl character! What a fucking ditz!"


"-But! DON'T worry! I made sure I edited it good! Real good!" I grinned and poured myself some more vodka. The rep was looking a bit uncomfortable standing in the middle of the room. Ah! I was being rude! I got up to get a glass for him from the kitchen, when my feet decided they were going to trip me! I flailed and tried to right myself but the rep caught me before I hit the floor.

Because I was so close, I found myself looking into his eyes. They were dark deep pits of black. His pupils weren't there! Weird! I gasped and tried pulling away but he held me still when I started wobbling again. I pouted at not being let go. I just wanted to get him a glass so he could drink with me! His bangs were hanging in front of his eyes as he looked down at me.

"What's your name?" I asked. The guy's lip twitched again. I wonder why. Maybe he had a problem. It would be very rude to bring that up! So I waited until he answered me.

"Sasuke." He eventually said in a super cool, deep voice.

"I'm Naru- Naruto!" I laughed.


"Mr. Sasuke for a publisher guy you're really pretty." I mumbled. His mouth curved up a bit at that and I felt his gaze on me. A flush of heat crept all over my body.

"You're not too bad yourself, though I don't usually go for blonds." I frowned almost immediately. I could not, not be insulted by that, but I let him help me back over to the couch and I slumped down into the corner. "Will the owner of the… book be back soon?" He asked, his deep voice had such a velvety feel to it, that it almost made me forget about his earlier comment.

"Yeah…" Well that depended on how soon you thought soon was. "He's just buying more booze and peeping at girls."

"Peeping?" Sasuke echoed. He was leaning back, his face back into an amused expression. I scowled at him.

"Yes, he's a pervy pervert. Just read the shit he wrote!" I flipped it open to page 234 and placed on his lap. Sasuke raised an eyebrow but looked and started to read the page. I'm sure the guy's eyebrows woulda tried to go into his hairline if they went up any further. I heard him cough and he placed the book back onto the coffee table.

"Yes quite… perverted indeed." Sasuke glanced over at me again. His dark, black eyes were so deep and strong that I felt really hot again all of a sudden. I was trying my best to look away but it's like his freaking eyes had magical powers and were keeping mine in place.

"It doesn't matter cause I'm the best editor ever! It's gonna be fucking fantastic! It'll definitely be a best-seller!" I grinned.

"Oh? The best editor ever?" He smirked but I could tell he was getting bored. Did he have to wait for Jiriya before he could take the manuscript? I got up again to try and get him a glass but my feet tripped me up again and I toppled right on top of him.

"O-h, uh sorry!" I mumbled, though he didn't look that upset. I was practically in his lap. "D-do you have to go soon?" I asked looking up at him through my lashes. I very suddenly felt sober. Well sober enough that I could figure out that I was almost straddling a guy I just met.

"I think, I can stay a bit longer." He met my eyes again and I shivered. I was still very much drunk but I slowly became aware of the fact that our faces were getting closer and closer to one another. I still couldn't look away and I quickly shut my eyes when our lips met.

He pressed his lips against mine firmly and only moved them a bit. I think he was trying to figure out if I was going to pull away before he suddenly took over and started kissing me with earnest when I didn't. His mouth was so warm and his lips were soft but firm. I very happily pressed back into the kiss, when he pushed me back into the couch, his mouth never leaving mine. When I gasped in surprise he slipped his tongue in my mouth. I groaned; his body was on top of mine, hovering, not touching. We continued to make out for a few minutes. Sasuke was an intense kisser. Very dominating and it was like he put everything into it. I moaned into the kiss, attempting to get some control but he battled my tongue away rather effortlessly. I saw him smirk above me and I glared.

He pulled away, and I frowned. I wasn't done yet! I tried to reach up for him, but he moved out of the way and started kissing my neck. He started at my shoulder. It only tickled at first, but when he got a little higher, I couldn't really complain, or really do much at all. I felt like I was melting, and I couldn't even scowl when I felt him smile against my skin. He was just at that one spot that made me feel like mush. His kissing turned to licking and then to sucking and I was starting to melt he more he kept on.

"So what's his name?" He whispered into my ear. I blinked, neurons misfiring, trying to figure out what the hell he was talking about.


"The… author." He scraped teeth against skin.

"J-Jiriya." I muttered and I was rewarded with a kiss next to my ear.

"Hn." Was his answer.

"Last name?"

Why the hell was he talking about my fucking uncle of all things when we were just sucking face? That question flew right out the window when he went back to sucking on just the right spot.

My hands were fisting his silk shirt. I rubbed the nice material between my fingers, sighed and shivered when he bit my ear. I was very much enjoying myself as he started sliding his warm hands up my shirt. They explored, touching, sliding. When he reached my nipples, he gave them both a sharp squeeze and I moaned as a sharp crackle of pleasure went down my body. Holy shit! I heard him chuckle up above me and my mouth was taken again. His hands were incredibly soft for a man; uncallused and smooth, and they felt incredibly fucking good against my skin.

My own hands were lost. I had no clue where to put them, so I settled with an awkward loop around his neck that he didn't seem to have a problem with.

The only reason why I knew I was gay was one make-out session I had with a kid from high school. Other than that I had no experience whatsoever. At least half of my life I had thought I was straight, but that quickly ended when the only girl I ever liked was scooped up by an over-protective, homicidal-if-you-touch-her-girlfriend, blond bitch named Ino. So this thing with Sasuke was very quickly reaffirming my sexuality for me.

I didn't even notice one of his hands traveling down south until my jeans were undone and he was there. His large hand wrapped around me, very gently, and barely touching me at all. I gasped into the kiss and he slid his hand down very slowly. I squirmed trying to get more friction, more touch, but he kept the same grip, just teasing me.

"Well?" He breathed, pulling back.

"Ah!" I cried out when he gave me a squeeze and tighter grip. I was aching so hard and his hand started to move faster and faster. My eyes rolled back and I started moaning like a porn-star. This is sooo much fucking better than my hand! I groaned and my head flew back as he stopped his fast pace and instead rubbed his thumb on my slit. "Umm, it's ah-" I was rewarded again with another stroke. So close! I could feel I was teetering on the edge and my lower body was wound so tight, just waiting for the next tug of his hand. He bit into my shoulder just as he delivered another rough press to my slit.

I let out the answer and came just when the front door opened.

"Hey brat, whose car, is in my driveway? Is it the re-" My uncle stopped mid-sentence when he saw Sasuke on top of me on his couch, with his hand on my cock and covered in my cum. His eyes traveled downwards and noticed that his manuscript was wide open on the coffee table, and then back up to us. "Who's this?" He coughed and looked away.

Sasuke climbed off of me slowly, only after giving me another lip twitch. Weirdo. I very quickly grabbed the throw from the back of the couch while Sasuke grabbed a tissue from the table. He rose from his seat after cleaning his hand. Guess he was leaving with the manuscript now.

"Sasuke Uchiha." Sasuke walked over and offered my uncle his hand. "I'm the man whose car you backed into yesterday." He said while shaking. My uncle and I blanched.

Oh shit.

"Ah. Hah ha. Yes, yes! I meant to leave you a note, but I didn't have any paper handy." Jiriya peered over Sasuke's shoulder and gave me a glare that made mine look like I was just staring. Well that's what I was doing after the guy dropped that bomb. Well shit, I feel real fucking sober now!

"Of course. It's a very good thing I stopped by then." I could feel the fake smile in Sasuke's voice. It sounded like pure poison dripping from each word. He peered back at me for a second and I blushed. "Although I'm sure we could work out an agreement as to how you're going to pay for the damage." He continued his gaze and left a very deliberate and lingering look at the manuscript on the table.

It looked uncle Jiriya was about to have an aneurysm.

"Now then, I have a business appointment I must attend to. I will be back tomorrow to discuss our… agreement." With that, he left his blackberry in hand, and dialing a number as he walked out the door, closing it behind him.

We waited in silence; me sitting and him standing, not moving an inch. When we heard Sasuke's car turn on and pull out of the driveway, my uncle breathed in sharply.


"I can explain!" I squeaked.

"Oh do tell. I want to hear this story."

"Well, uh, you see." I glanced around, finding nothing to help me come up with a metaphorical shovel to dig my way out of the shit I was in. "He looked like the rep from the company thing, okay!?"

"And you were deducing this while his tongue was halfway down your throat?" He raised an eyebrow. He didn't look at me though when he said that, only reminding me of what had happened.

"I had a bit of vodka.." I said sheepishly.

"A bit? I can smell you all the way from here!" He was on the other side of the living room. "Why did you think he was the rep?"

"Well why the fuck not!? How many fucking well-dressed men show up on your doorstep every day?"

"Oh I don't know, a few bat-shit crazy fans looking to impersonate company representatives to steal important book information?"

"Please! Who the hell would think your book was worth stealing!? It's nothing but a pile of shit! Even Sasuke thought so!" I fired back. I didn't realize my slip up until my uncle's face got, very, very red.


A soft and reluctant knock came at the door.

"H-hello? I'm with Hobbs Publishing Company." A little voice that I could barely hear came from behind my uncle's front door. "I'm here to pick up the manuscript."

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