The Aphrodisiac Ramification Quandary
There was a slight change to the first part of this story, I ended it sooner than before, so it may be an idea to go back and re-read to keep the flow. It's taken a very, VERY, long time for me to get the motivation to work on any of my stories. I apologise for that but, as always, you can't force blood from a stone. I hope you all enjoy this update, I'm considering adding a smutty bonus chapter but don't get your hopes up, it'll probably be another year before I get round to that too :(
Last note - I've been slightly disturbed by the reviews for and consequent author's notes on other BBT fics. This is a Shenny (That means it contains the romantic pairing of Sheldon and Penny for those who are baffled by name smooshing) fic. No, it's not canon. If a non-canon pairing bothers you then you need to do a google search for the definitions and variations of fanfiction before even thinking of putting anything in the review box.
While Amy was procuring emergency birth control, Leonard was attempting to remain calm. His thoughts raced through his head at the speed of light, or that's what it felt like at least. He took a deep breath and concentrated on what he knew. The first thing he knew was that Sheldon had stayed the night in Penny's apartment. He also knew, now, that Penny required taking the morning after pill. Combined, these facts could only lead to the conclusion that Sheldon and Penny had unprotected sex last night.
"Um ... you wanna catch me up here? I know that what Amy and I did was wrong on a multitude of levels but from what I've just seen, there was some wrong-doing in 4B too."
"Leonard ..." Penny closed her eyes and tried to prevent the flood of tears that threatened. Not because she felt guilty about having sex with Sheldon, her guilt was purely based on the fact that it was the most incredible sexual experience she'd had since moving across the hall from them.
"I apologize, Leonard, you aren't in possession of all the details from the last 24 hours. Rest assured that when Amy arrives everything will be explained fully."
"You apologize?" Leonard's brow furrowed in confusion before his anger took over. "I screwed your girlfriend six ways to Sunday last night. You obviously got a little busy yourself seeing as Penny is popping Plan B. Your body has been covered in God knows how many germs, your girlfriend has been defiled – why aren't you angry?"
Sheldon swallowed, took a deep breath and composed himself. "Leonard, what happened between you and Amy last night was not your fault. I bear you no ill will."
"And you and Penny?"
Amy's heart is in her mouth as she reaches out with her curled fist and raps, lightly, at the door of 4A 2311 Los Robles. Leonard opens the door, a serious expression on his face, and gestures for Amy to enter. Her eyes are drawn to Sheldon as he rises from his spot and regards her coolly.
"All rise, everyone is now present for the trial to commence."
Confused and still reeling from recent events, Leonard and Penny stood and watched as Amy made her way to the armchair that Sheldon had placed opposite the sofa. Amy cleared her throat and perched, primly, on the seat.
"I believe we can waive the reading of the charges, Sheldon." Her cheeks colored in shame as she clasped her hands in her lap.
"Unfortunately, Amy, Leonard is still unaware of many of the events of the previous evening. In the interests of fairness to all parties involved, it's necessary."
Amy sighed and nodded, her dull gaze settling on Leonard and conveying all of the sadness and guilt she was drowning in. Uncharacteristically, Sheldon cleared his throat, closed his eyes and paused before speaking.
"Amy Farrah-Fowler, while being of sound mind on Thursday April 11th, did enter the apartment of Dr Sheldon Cooper BS, MS, MA, PhD, ScDand Dr Leonard Hofstadter PhD without their permission or knowledge. You also planned to seduce Dr Sheldon Cooper BS, MS, MA, PhD, ScD and take part in coital activities despite his assertion that he did not wish to partake in such actions. Do you accept the charges?"
Amy nodded. "Yes."
"I present exhibit A" Sheldon gestured to the wine carrier on the coffee table which contained the remaining bottles of Mountain dew. Leonard blinked, wondering what some sodas had to do with the proceedings. "Can you confirm, Ms Fowler, that the drinks of exhibit A have been tampered with and contain a highly effective stimulus which has the purpose of increasing feelings of sexual desire in the imbiber?"
"Are you saying I was drugged?" Leonard jumped out of his seat, his voice reaching an octave that a grown man should feel uncomfortable with.
Sheldon leaned under the coffee table and produced a block and gavel, lightly tapping it and looking at Leonard mildly. "Order, please."
Leonard ran his hands through his hair, it explained so much. He had been drugged, that's why he found Amy irresistible. He tried to find it in himself to feel dirty and used, to give him some semblance of a person with morals but, deep down, he felt anything but dirty and used.
"Answer the question please, Amy."
"Yes, I can confirm that exhibit A contains a powerful formula which stimulates the striatum and increases blood flow."
"Do you know the identity of the person who added this stimulant to the drinks?"
"Yes" Amy nodded "I am the person who added the stimulant to the Mountain Dew."
"Was it your intention that I, Dr Sheldon Cooper BS, MS, MA, PhD, ScD, partake in the tampered drink and be consumed with sexual desire to fulfill your selfish need for physical contact of a coital nature?"
"Yes. I wanted my boyfriend to touch me in a sexual manner!" Amy stood, her anger bubbling to the surface. "Excuse me for having feelings and desires; excuse me for being an ordinary woman who wants to be touched!"
"Order, please." Sheldon tapped the gavel again. "Your reasoning for your actions is irrelevant. You attempted to trick me into performing coitus; my avoidance of sexual contact has never been hidden from you. You knew when we shifted the paradigms of our relationship from friendship to romantic, that the chances of sexual satisfaction at my … hands were effectively nil. Yet you persist in trying to change me."
Leonard, tired of not gleaning any of the answers he really wanted, let his temper get the better of him. "Really, Sheldon? And what happened that Penny's chances skyrocketed? What happened that made you leap into bed with our neighbor?"
Amy gasped and turned her eyes to Penny, the accusation evident in her expression. "I know that you accidently drank some of the soda, Penny, but couldn't you have had enough self control not to rape my boyfriend?"
Gritting her teeth, Penny hissed her retort. "I could say the same for you."
Sheldon thumped the gavel on the coffee table. "Order, order, ORDER! No one was raped last night. Can we, please, just finish this part before we start tearing each other to shreds like savage dogs?"
The quiet of the room was interrupted by four sets of lungs breathing heavily at the suffocating air inside the apartment.
"Amy Farrah-Fowler, you have admitted your transgressions and your sentence will be as such: You are no longer allowed within a three foot radius of my person and you are no longer allowed to bring any foods or beverages into apartment 4A, 2311 Los Robles Avenue."
Leonard scrunched up his face in confusion. "Wait … that's it? She can't come too close to you and can't fully attend a pot luck dinner?"
Sheldon cleared his throat and nodded. "I have already dissolved the relationship agreement and I understand that Amy's actions were a result of desperation. I have a new perspective on many things today."
Penny smiled and patted Sheldon's knee. "That's very big of you, sweetie, I'm glad you're willing to keep Amy as part of our group."
"I don't understand" Amy shook her head from side to side "should I not be cast out into the cold with nothing but my sweet memories of times gone by to warm me? I planned to drug you into sexual congress and succeeded in accidently drugging the two people closest to you with disastrous, for our relationships, consequences."
"Leonard and Penny accidently consumed your … potion; the same cannot be said of you or me. I purposefully consumed the aphrodisiac with the intention of proving my status as a functioning male with Penny. I am as much at fault as you, Amy. Although, without the tampered drinks none of this would have happened – I still made an informed decision. It may have been a decision spurred by a mild psychotic break, but I knew what I was doing."
Penny cleared her throat and rubbed her sweaty palms on her skirt. "I … I think we all need to talk about where we go from here. To be honest, I have no idea how to act around you guys anymore."
She sighed; glad to have gotten it out of her system. Amy adjusted her glasses and nodded.
"I agree, Penny, and although I'm happily surprised that Sheldon is allowing me to remain as part of your social dynamic – I'm unsure of how we proceed. Honesty is the best policy and as I'm, metaphorically, at the bottom of the hole I've dug for myself, I will go first." She smoothed down her cardigan and puffed out a breath before starting. "Leonard, I enjoyed myself immensely last night and can't stop thinking about our sexual escapades. Although I feel guilty about our activities, I feel no regret whatsoever for the experience we shared. The only regret I have is hurting Sheldon and risking our friendships; I will not be foolish enough to make the same error twice. As our romantic relationships with Sheldon and Penny are now at an end, I would jump at the opportunity to enter into a romantic dynamic with you but understand if this prospect is wholly distasteful and you don't share my feelings."
Leonard gaped slightly at Amy's candid speech before realizing that everyone in the room was looking at him for a reply. Penny smiled at him with no malice or sarcasm in her gaze or tone.
"Honesty is the best policy, Leonard."
Leonard raised his chin a little and Penny noticed that determined gleam in his eyes. "Alright, I'll be completely honest. Last night was the best sex of my life and it made me realize that Penny and I have simply been going through the motions. I would also jump at the chance to continue to explore the … spark that ignited between me and Amy but feel that it could be construed as disrespectful to both Sheldon and Penny."
Penny was still smiling when Leonard finished talking. She shook her head from side to side, a low chuckle escaping from her lips. "Isn't it crazy? I've been feeling the same way for a while; I guess it just takes a relationship catastrophe to get the truth out there, huh? For the record, after a lot of thinking through today, I can really see you guys together, y'know? If you two wanna start something then I won't stand in your way."
Amy smiled, relief flooding through her. "You're the best bestie ever! Please, continue."
"I'm sorry, what?" Penny sucked her bottom lip between her teeth, waiting for someone to expand on Amy's request.
"Honesty is the best policy, we've both discussed how last night's events have changed our feelings and opinions on our respective relationships. Honestly, how do you feel about Sheldon now that you've experienced the carnal delights his body can supply you with?" Penny noticed the look in Amy's eyes as she supplied and explanation, it was a look that said 'dish the dirt, bestie'.
"Umm … I …" Penny sighed and rubbed her face with both hands. "I feel a little guilty, like I've taken something pristine and innocent and stained it beyond belief … but last night I felt like I was exactly where I was supposed to be."She turned slightly in her spot on the couch so her knees were pointing to Sheldon. "You rocked my world, Sheldon and I hope I rocked yours too but I know how you feel about sex stuff, so … I doubt that I'll get a repeat performance, no matter how pleasurable you found last night. No matter how much I want it to happen every night from here to eternity."
"Penny, the chances of creating the same circumstances so as to repeat our fluid exchange every night would depend on Amy supplying us with her concoction for the rest of our lives." Sheldon frowned.
"You need to take everything so literal, don't you?" She smiled.
"I believe Penny is expressing the desire to enter into a sexual relationship with you, Sheldon, I don't think she is insisting on recreating last night's experience exactly on a regular basis." Amy supplied. "And in the spirit of, and following on from, Penny's comment about not standing between Leonard and me engaging in a sexual relationship – the two of you rub against each other like flint and steel. When you collide, sparks fly."
Leonard's face went slack as he thought about Amy's words. All the arguments, the prank wars, the taking care of each other when they're sick … there's a passion between Sheldon and Penny that, while not strictly sexual in nature, exceeded or even dwarfed any passion between penny and himself. The room was silent as Penny, Leonard and Amy waited … and waited. Five whole minutes passed before Penny nudged Sheldon.
"It's your turn."
Sheldon nodded. "I know. It's not often I find myself having difficulty in articulating, especially when it concerns honesty. But you are all aware of how I lax I am at expressing … feelings, so I will simply tell the truth in respect of the myriad of feelings I experienced last night. I felt anger at discovering Leonard engaging in coitus in our shared bathroom. I felt confusion at the discovery that Amy was also present in the same bathroom. I felt fear at discovering the effect the drink had on Penny. I felt thankful that she removed herself from my vicinity when she realized the effects. I felt … vengeful at the fact that I had been spurned for a male of lesser intelligence. I felt decisive as I drank the Mountain dew. I felt … I felt …"
"Go on, sweetie, it's okay." Penny spoke softly, remembering Mary Cooper's comparison to a fawn.
"I felt like a King. I felt like a God, bending the universe of Penny to my will, hearing her moan and scream my name. I … I …"
Sheldon stood up and stalked from the room as the other watched him retreat. He stopped at the entrance to the hallway and spoke without turning around.
"I felt loved, truly, completely and I felt like I was the most powerful man in the world."
The next noise to break the tension was the sound of his bedroom door slamming closed.
"Bestie, I believe you have ignited an inferno, albeit a slightly unwelcome one, in Sheldon's loins."
Penny closed the door on 4B after a little awkwardness at the boy's home. She wondered if Sheldon would ever be the same again, she knew for sure she wouldn't be. Sighing, she flopped onto her couch, exhausted and confused. She wondered how Sheldon could go from being so calm through the day to being so flustered and almost angry when they were talking as a group.
He was fine when we spoke alone about how much we enjoyed our sexy times. Why did he blow a gasket when we were talking about how we felt with Amy and Leonard there?
She went over the conversation in her mind, recalling his facial expressions and how it seemed difficult for him to speak about his feelings. The only facial expression she didn't see was when he spoke his last words to them.
He felt loved but when we were together I did too. Why would that bother him to the point he had to leave the room? Doesn't everyone want to feel loved?
Sheldon sat on his bed, his back against the headboard and his knees drawn up to his chest with his long arms wrapped around them. In all his years, he'd never felt so stupid, so gullible. He'd managed to ignore the feeling for the most part of the day, his time alone with Penny had been … nice. In fact, his confidence had been bolstered by the fact she wasn't acting awkward around him – that meant that his efforts the previous evening hadn't been completely hopeless. Penny wasn't embarrassed; she still wanted to spend time with him.
The tender trap. I was fooled well and truly.
It was when he focused on how he felt, how his feelings toward Penny had shifted after their coital adventure that he realized he was being taken for a mug. Penny had cast her net, in his opinion, and he'd been caught.
She is a remarkable actress, even in the throes of ecstasy, to sound so convincing while telling me I really was the guy. She's my friend, true, and to join with her in the pursuit of pleasure again would be … something I can't stop thinking about! He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. But to come to the conclusion that I'm in love with her after one night of sexual intercourse is ridiculous!
A soft knock sounded at his door. "Sheldon, you can come out now, the girls have gone."
"I believe I'll stay here, Leonard."
"Do you wanna talk about it?"
"No, I don't."
Outside Sheldon's room Leonard nodded, unsure of how to proceed. He licked his lips and flattened his hand against the door. "You know, Amy is right about you and Penny. Since she moved next door, you two have always had … something between you. Let's be honest, if it wasn't for your Mysophobia there's a high probability you would have fell into bed with each other years ago."
He stepped back as the door opened slightly and Sheldon's sullen face appeared in the three inch space. "But to believe she loves me, Leonard? While I have no doubt there's affection on her side due to our friendship, love is something completely different."
Leonard frowned. "I dunno, buddy, sometimes just one little thing changes to make us realize that that affection is bigger and more important than we could ever have dreamed."
The pot of water was boiling, ready for her to drop the ramen noodles in, when her phone chirruped on the coffee table. She continued readying her food, not sure whether to read the text in her precarious emotional state, but she had to wait a few minutes for the noodles to soften and that left her with the choice of twiddling her thumbs or biting the bullet and finding out who was contacting her.
You need to tell S how you feel about him. Not how you feel about having sex with him but how you feel about him specifically.
For Penny, that was the biggest hurdle of all. In the small, dark recesses of her psyche she would admit things to herself in her moments of worthlessness. She had always quashed any fleeting surges of hope by rationalizing that Sheldon could never feel anything for her romantically. He was the guy, he always had been, but Penny thought he was too good for her. He was too pure and already involved with his mutually beneficial relationship with physics. There was no symbol for a wannabe actress and actual waitress in his formulas for life. So she swallowed her dissatisfaction and made do with what he was willing to give.
She coughed as the smoke from the pot on the stove caught her lungs. Her meal ruined, there was only one thing to do. Feeling constricted in the outfit she'd worn all day, she quickly changed into yoga pants and a vest, pulling her hair into a ponytail as she walked across the hallway to 4A.
Sleep was not coming easily for Sheldon. He had tossed and turned, then removed himself from the confines of his bed to straighten the sheets before slipping between them to start the process all over again. He theorized that it was because he was attempting to achieve a REM cycle much earlier than usual and that neither his body nor mind were ready to rest. His ears pricked up at the sound of feet lightly padding along the hallway. They were not Leonard's usual shuffling steps but he recognized them – he'd been hearing those same steps since she moved across the hall. His door cracked open and he feigned sleep.
"I don't know if you're asleep or just faking. But I want you to know that everything I said was true."
Penny stood at the bottom of Sheldon's bed, knowing that if he had genuinely been asleep he would certainly be awake now.
"People can't be in my room, Penny, but I believe you were being completely honest and truthful when you expressed the desire to continue engaging in sexual congress with me."
"I'm not talking about tonight, Sheldon." She winced at the volume of her voice and that she was letting her frustration and anxiety show. Taking a deep breath, she spoke, her voice soft and quivering. "You're the guy, it was always you. But I know I don't deserve you and you deserve someone smarter, someone more ambitious. I … I just wanted you to know."
She turned, biting her lip and squeezing her eyes closed tightly. I just need to make it out of the front door, then I can break down.
As she reached the door, she felt her wrist being encircled by an iron grip. Sheldon's voice was firm but warm.
"Shouldn't I be the judge of whom or what I do or do not deserve?" Penny slowly turned to face him. "It's always been like this hasn't it? Frustration and annoyance, each of us taking a turn at confusing and baiting the other then walking back to our respective apartments to stew. Not. This. Time."
Penny gasped as Sheldon slanted his mouth over hers. The cycle broken, she didn't know what to do. Luckily, after his crash course in intimacy, Sheldon did.