September 2014

Dean stared into the furious eyes of his best friend, the one person in his life who had been his constant, the shoulder to cry on, the arms to seek comfort in and now they were standing in front of him blazing with fury. Dean's hands were pinned to his sides clenched tight and he swallowed hard not wanting to back down and he certainly wasn't about to let him go. Castiel's voice cut through his thoughts and he focused on him ignoring the presence of Sam and Gabriel standing behind them.

"Give me one good reason to stay, Dean!" he shouted at him.

"Guys, don't do this!" Sam exclaimed looking between them and being held back by Gabriel who was shushing him softly and speaking to him in low tones.

"Tell me, Dean" Castiel insisted at him getting into his personal space. Dean regarded this for a moment, this same action that he had carried for all these years; he was always getting into his personal space like it was completely new to him.

His heart was beating erratically in his ears, his breathing laboured and fast that it was hurting his lungs and the panic was real and there. Castiel was beyond furious as he searched his eyes and he felt the real fear of losing him grip his chest till it ached. This was his best friend, his Castiel, the one who stayed there like a stubborn mark on his life refusing to be rubbed out and he loved that. Dean trailed his eyes up and down his face making the decision right there as the realisation, the realisation of all realisations out there as it hit him with the force of what felt like a truck that this brilliant, bizarre, beautiful freak he had claimed ten years ago was the man he was meant to be with.

"One reason"


"Okay, I'll give you a fucking reason" Dean hissed at him pulling him forward and covering his mouth with his in a hard kiss. Castiel squeaked stunned for a long moment before pulling back to stare at him breathing warm air over those lips. Dean smiled at him softly which was met by Castiel's shy smile as they kissed once again.

"There's your reason"

Gabriel looked over his shoulder to Sam with a smug grin. "Told you"

"Should we…?" Sam whispered holding out his hand for Gabriel who took it and they walked out leaving them to it as Castiel gripped Dean's hips as the kiss grew more deeper, tongues pushed and slid against each other and Dean's arms wrapped around his neck with an eager moan.

"Dean" he moaned in question looking into his eyes and groaned helplessly when Dean shushed him as they crashed against the table. Dean carefully picked him up putting him on the table as he devoured this mouth, this clever, witty, sarcastic, and mouth which let out the most deep gravelly voice that shouldn't belong to a man but somehow it seemed to fucking work. Dean groaned sliding his hands down his sides as they kissed filthy and moaned like whores grinding against one another.

"Please" Castiel whispered pitifully needing Dean, needing him more than ever because this was his dream coming true and he was more than fucking terrified this was all a dream again. Dean eagerly complied pressing him into the table which seemed to groan under their combined weight but until the whole thing collapsed underneath him they would ignore it. Questions, answers, and queries would have to be answered later because now it was about lust, need, and a craving that needed fulfilling.

"Dean, please" Castiel begged as he lay on his back knowing right now this should be the other way around. He had longed dreamt of pinning Dean down and fucking him hard enough for Dean to scream his name, and crave only him, find himself not being able to walk for a good week but for now, this was enough. Dean stole a quick kiss before shifting to unbutton and shove down their jeans and underwear bringing out their cocks rubbing them together. Castiel gasped wriggling and moaning underneath him as he slid his hand over them and bent down his head licking and biting into his mouth.

"Dean, please, please, yes, you're amazing" he chanted like it was his mantra. Dean smiled into his throat pulling up as he pumped them harder wanting to bring them both to climax at the same time. Castiel rutted and rocked his hips upwards needing to climax and stared into the emerald green of his eyes breathing hard.

"Come for me, come on…baby" he purred knowing what that name did to him and got the results when Castiel cried out clenching down. Dean followed soon after as they climaxed coating their hands and shirts in the pearlescent come. Sweat covered their brows and collarbones from the excursion of their activities. The scent of come lingered in the air as they looked at each other.


"Not yet" he said closing his eyes and lifting his lips to press on his forehead.

They stayed lying on their kitchen table, the tick of the clock the only sound amongst their mixed breathes and they stayed like that till they both started to feel the ache of lying on the kitchen table. Dean looked down into the wide eyes shining brightly blue with confusion and an underlining love for him that should terrify Dean but it had always been there even when he was angry with him which was often.

"3652 days, Dean"


"3000, 600, and 52 days to make you realise that you, you, Dean Winchester, are the love of my life and always have been" he said honestly with a shake of his head. "Why did it take so long?"

"I don't know, Cas"

The kiss they shared this time round was tender sweet as Castiel touched Dean's cheek like he was precious, breakable, and the look they shared after was enough to shatter Dean's already damaged heart as he devoured his mouth wanting to make that look go away just for the moment. They would get to that later.


September 2004

"Kansas City Kansas Community College" Dean read the brochure slowly glancing to Sam who shrugged at him. "Well…I start in two days"

"I wish I could start with you"

"Sammy, I don't really think they're going to fifteen year old kids in college are they?"

"Shut up, I'll be old enough soon" he said shoving at his shoulder and peering around his small box room. "Mom is really proud of you, you know, I mean, nursing is different and you're clever enough and stronger enough to do this and you're going to be great, Dean"

Dean felt his mouth slowly turn up in a smile and he met his eyes. "Thanks, Sammy"

"You're welcome…now get out of my bedroom"

"I'm going" he said with a puff of amusement walking out and downstairs into the living room to see Mary sitting on the kitchen table sorting through their photos.

"Hey mom" he said sitting down and swallowed hard at the lack of response. "Mom?"

Mary sighed softly looking up and blinking slowly at Dean. "It's been…one year since John died from that stroke and he won't leave me alone"

"Have you taken your tablets today?"

"Yes" he said with a nod stroking her hands over the photos before crunching her hands hard crumpling and ripping the photos.

"Mom!" he cried grabbing her wrists and looking into her eyes. "It's okay, it's okay, I'm here, mom, I'm here"

"Where's Sam?"

"He's upstairs in his room, remember? He's doing his homework" he said and moved towards her wrapping his arms around her thin frame feeling sick with nerves. It was two years ago when Mary started to show early signs of memory loss, forgetting names, meal times, forgetting to pick up Sam from school and it was only a few months after that she was diagnosed with showing early signs of Alzheimer's disease. It only got worse when John died a year ago from a stroke. It had been sudden and shocking for the family which ripped a black hole into their perfect foursome.

"Do you want to lie down?"

"No, no, I'm fine" she said patting his arm. "Shouldn't you be doing your homework?"

"No, mom, I don't have homework anymore, remember? I'm going to college on Monday" he said with a smile leading her into the living room where she sat down with a nod.

Dean watched her curl up in the corner turning on the television to watch the programmes she sometimes forgot. Mary had good days and bad days, there were days when she remembered everything and the bad days were she couldn't remember, she would scream, shout, cry, and believe that demons were out to get them. It scared Dean but it was up to him to calm her down, give her the tablets, and make sure Sam was out of the house for the most of it. Today was an okay day and with her tablets helping it would be an okay night.

His phone rang against his thigh and he pulled it out exiting the room to answer it.

"Hey, Ash" he murmured rubbing his forehead. "What's up?"

"Dean, my man, we're having a little get together on Perry Lake tonight and you need to come"


"No, now this our last night before college destroys our lives"

"What are you studying again?"

"IT, dude"

"Oh right" he said amused biting into his thumb. Dean had been good friends with Ash Harvelle since kindergarten along with his sister, Jo Harvelle. Ash had been adopted into her family at an early age after his parents had died when he was only a baby. The Harvelle's were his saviours.

"So be ready for seven and you can come pick us up"


"Good man" Ash said hanging up on him.

Dean sighed deeply pocketing the phone and leaving Mary to head upstairs. Sam was deep in his laptop and blushed slamming it down when Dean walked in pausing to raise an eyebrow.

"Now, Sam, I told you about all that porn…"

"Shut up! I wasn't looking at porn" he snapped flushing a deep red.

"Oh yeah sure because that's the face of a guy reading up on law" Dean said with sharp laughter. "I'm heading out in a few hours so…"

"Dean, I know, okay, I'll make sure she's okay"

"I wouldn't go but…"

"Dean, you're allowed to have fun and you know mom would hate it if you stayed for her…she's not so bad these days" he said closing his books and standing up. "Where is she?"

"On the couch" Dean muttered folding his arms over and following after him as they went back downstairs. Sam walked around the couch smiling when she looked at him.

"Sam" she said with a smile sitting more up when he sat next to her and cuddled up. Dean watched with a small smile when she wrapped her arms around him holding her and with a nod more to himself knew they would be okay.

He left at seven that evening arriving outside the Harvelle house to see Jo and Ash running out and away from their mother's shouting.

"Don't be getting too drunk or I'll kick your asses!" she shouted after them as they slid into the impala with bags. Jo grinned at Dean who gunned it down as they drove down the road and Ash hummed in the back opening the bag and bringing out bottles of alcohol.

"We are going to get fucked up!" he sang with a wide grin. Dean rolled his eye amused glancing over to Jo who was unusually quiet.

"What's up, Joanna Beth?"

"I thought I told you to quit calling me that!" she said digging him in his side so he laughed and shoved at her. "Nothing, I'm just nervous about college"

"Why? We're all going to be there, Jo, and you love science" Dean said with a raised eyebrow. "It'll be fine and we're all together"

Jo gave him a small soft smile and nodded in agreement. Ash whooped joyfully thankful for the weekend, alcohol, and the fact they were nearly there. The sky was already darkening when they arrived and saw a group already on the benches near the lake. Now that Dean had arrived the appeal for it all seemed to lessen and he sighed locking up the car pushing his hands into his pockets as they walked over. He saw the people they did know, Chuck Shurley, Pamela Barnes, Tessa Reap, Meg Masters, and Ruby Doe but there were also others he didn't. Dean smiled in greeting when Tessa waved at him.

"Dean, I haven't seen you since graduation"

"Mmm, I've been busy"

"Same, I move to Texas in three days' time"

"Wow, Texas, that's a big move"

"Yeah well it's my college" she said with a chuckle handing him a beer. "How are you doing?"

"Good I suppose" he said with a chuckle opening it up with his key ring. "I can't wait to stop"

"Jo told me you are doing…nursing, right?"


"Wow, Dean, that's quite incredible" she said looking at him with soft warmth in her eyes. "I'm sure you'll be incredible"

"Thanks, Tessa, I'm sure you will too" he said when she jumped up giving him a wink and went to find others. Dean's hands circled his beer as he hummed thoughtfully and cast his eyes around and focused on the bright red jumper talking with Chuck. His eyes roamed over and he wrinkled his nose at the bright colour of the jumper. He took in the unruly hair that looked like he had just jumped out of bed or fell into a bush, he was obviously lean underneath the disgusting jumper and tight jeans and he hummed looking away.

Ash decided it was the time to play the radio out of one of the cars loudly as things started to heat up. It was cliché for Dean who simply watched the others instead of joining in and was soon interrupted by Mr Red Jumper and he met the most enchanting blue eyes.

"Hello" he said in a voice that startled Dean and he nodded at him looking away. "What's your name?"

"I'm Dean, and you?"

"Castiel Milton, I have recently moved here from Kentucky with my family and I am enrolled at the Kansas City Kansas Community College" he said tipping his drink into his mouth and swallowing. "I see you are here all alone like me"

"I'm not alone"

"You are sat on your own"

"That doesn't mean I'm on my own…I'm with all these" Dean snapped. "What kind of name is Castiel?"

"You have a problem with my name?" Castiel said tilting his head curiously at him.

"No, not at all, it's just weird" Dean muttered with a sneer. "Why are you here?"

"Chuck…he has befriended me and suggested I come along"

"Chuck has befriended you? You talk weird"

"First it's my name and now it's the way I talk…is everything about me unappealing to you, Dean?"

"Well that jumper is hideous, your name is fucked up, and you talk like you're from the 1800's so a little bit yeah" he said without thinking seeing the hurt on Castiel's face.

"I see" he said pushing up and narrowing his eyes. "I see you don't wish to talk to me or even attempt a conversation with me which is in fact rude. My first impression of you is not a very good one"


Castiel swallowed walking away and back into the now wilder crowd leaving Dean to stare down at the bench feeling like a complete jackass. He sighed downing his beer and going to get another one to drown away his feelings, fears, and most of all thoughts. More and more drinks were drunk that night and soon nearly everyone was drunk, making out, singing loudly, skinny dipping in the lake, and somehow trying to keep it down unless the police came to remove them. Dean was humming Metallica as he stood on the hill and stumbled on the ground sprawling and looking up at the night sky.

"Dean?" a voice said.

"Yeah?" he shouted struggling up and looking up into the concerned eyes of Castiel who knelt down staring at him.

"Dean, you do realise you are very, very drunk and covered in mud?" he said touching his cheek and pulling away quickly.

"What?" Dean murmured looking down to see he was in fact covered in mud, he was sitting in the muddy sludge of the hill, and he was that drunk it was hilarious. Castiel watched in silence as he howled with laughter picking at his t-shirt.

"You, you are-you are the one with the…no, come here, you-you are the boy with the weird name" he said pulling him towards him and trailing muddy fingers down his face. Castiel flinched back and looked over his shoulder at the rest of the group apparently disinterested or too drunk.

"Why-why aren't you drunk like me?"

"Because I'm not overly keen on bitter and beer, Dean, where do you live?"


"Yes, I know that but what street?"

"Bellow Street, number 347" he said with a sigh falling on the ground again. Castiel sighed pulling him up and wrapping his arm around his shoulders as he dragged a bumbling and laughing Dean to his own car dragging him in and throwing him in the back seat.

"Second impression, Dean, even worse" he said climbing in to his green mustang and driving Dean mumbling about his name home.

"Cas-Castiel" Dean said struggling up and patting a hand on his head. "Where are we?"

"In my car, you're nearly home" he said looking back and pushing his hand away from his hair. "You're filthy, keep your hands away, and try to keep still"

Dean laughed slumping back and closing his eyes. Castiel parked outside the white house eyeing the dead place for a moment and looked at Dean now snoring in his back seat. He closed his eyes for a moment before turning around and patting Dean all over before bringing out a set of keys, one car and the other he hoped was his house keys. Castiel dragged an unconscious Dean out supporting him and hauling him to the front door. He fumbled with the key opening the door and peering in the house when a figure walked in from the living room.

"Who are you? Dean, is he okay?"

"My name is Castiel and your brother is drunk"

"He's never mentioned you before"

"I'm new to the state" Castiel said pulling him forward and dropping him on the sofa looking over him before looking up at the lanky teenager resembling only a small part of the unconscious man on the sofa. "I'm guessing you're his brother"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm Sam, I, um, I always wait up for him because this is common and well he likes to wake me up by crawling in my bed" he said with a roll of his eyes. "Thanks for this, Castiel"

"You're welcome, I had been aware of him most of the night and he was lying in a puddle of mud"

"I'll get him cleaned up"

Castiel nodded bidding him goodbye and left quickly after that leaving Sam to attend to his drunken brother.

"Oh Dean" Sam murmured pulling off his shoes and shaking his head as he somehow dragged him up and proceeded to drag him up chucking him in the show. "What the hell are we going to do with you?"


Dean woke up with a hangover he didn't realise could exist and moaned turning his head to see he was in his bed and sat up confused. His bedroom door opened revealing Sam who flashed him an amused look holding up a cup of coffee.

"Did I tell you that you're the best brother ever?" Dean murmured when he passed it into his hands.

"No, not until I tell you that I had to stick you in the shower last night, change you and put you into bed" Sam murmured softly.

"Fuck" Dean muttered blinking at him confused. "How did I get home? I have no idea what happened?"



"He said he was new to the state, he brought you home" Sam replied with a shrug.

Dean gasped in realisation swallowing hard and nodding. "Yeah, yeah, it was some guy who tried to talk to me and I…fuck, I was a real jerk"


"He brought me home?"

"Yeah" Sam said with a nod. "Count yourself lucky"

Dean sipped his coffee watching Sam leave him to it and he bit into his lip feeling like a complete and utter jerk for the way he treated him beforehand. No one deserved that. The rest of the day was spent in bed for Dean suffering through his hangover and rolling his eyes when Mary came up shaking her head at him. It made Dean feel a little better to see her in high spirits and remembering things today that she wasn't yesterday. Dean knew there was no cure, not yet anyway, but he still hoped for a miracle one day.

The day ended with an early night for Dean for an early start on the first day of college. The morning wasn't a good one for Dean who woke up to a moody Mary who called him David instead of Dean and couldn't remember the date, where her keys were and Dean was more than glad to get out of the house with Sam after calming her down, giving her tablets, and moving out of the house.

"It'll be okay, have a good day" Dean reassured Sam as he dropped him off at his old high school for Sam's first day in junior year. Dean took off driving to college and parking in the student car park staring up at the place and felt a tickle of excitement. It was a brand new start, brand new day and hopefully the start of a brilliant future. Dean walked up through the entrance heading to the reception to find out where to go and was directed to the room. He wandered down taking in the long corridors recently done up and made brand new. His eyes roamed around for a familiar face when he spotted one looking down at a piece of paper in complete confusion and bemusement. It wasn't the face he thought he would see but it was the one he needed to face and talk with.

"Castiel" Dean said in greeting walking over taking in the white shirt, black cardigan, and same tight jeans with a nod. He scrubbed up nice for the first day and looked down at his own Metallica shirt and jeans. "I wanted to say thank you for what you did on Saturday"

"I couldn't leave you in a puddle of mud, Dean"

"I know, I know, I'm just…I'm glad you were there and especially after how I treated you…"

"Oh yes, you do have appalling manners and my impression of you is not great, Dean, you do come across as rather arrogant and a little unappealing" he said tucking the piece of paper into the bag against his thigh. "But you're welcome anyway"

Dean stared at him amazed and blinked looking away. "Wow, okay, um, I was going to ask if I could make it up to you but if you're going to be a fucking dick about it then…"

"I wasn't being a dick, Dean, I was stating my opinion and…here you go again" he said gesturing at him. "We barely know each other and my name is weird, I speak weird, you flicked me away like annoying bug and now I'm a fucking dick"

Dean closed his eyes breathing out harshly. "I'm sorry, okay, look…let me buy you a coffee or whatever you want right now and let's just…let's just start afresh"

Castiel eyed him carefully before nodding slowly and adjusted the strap. "Okay…I'll take that coffee"

"Great, great, I noticed a café" Dean said indicating his head at Castiel to follow as they walked in and Castiel sat down while Dean ordered two cups.

"I'm Dean Winchester, I'm studying nursing here" he said holding out his hand.

"Castiel Milton, I'm studying fine art" he said taking the hand and shaking it once before pulling away. "Nursing? Has that always been a great love of yours?"

"I guess, I…I kinda take care of my family most of the time and I love this little show…it's nothing" he said sheepishly with a smile that faded. "So you want to be an artist?"

"My brother, Gabriel, often says I have a talent"

"You have a brother?"

"Two, my eldest is called Zachariah who is twenty eight I never ever see because he hates me and my second eldest is Gabriel who is twenty two and I have a little sister called Anna who is currently in kindergarten" he said looking up at the waitress who brought their drinks over. "I met Sam last night; he seems very devoted and caring for you"

"He is, he's a great kid"

"I see that" Castiel said bringing his cup to his lips and sipping it. "This coffee is terrible"

Dean pressed his lips together amused looking down and brought it up trying it himself and blanching in agreement. "I'll take you somewhere better next time"

"Next time"

"Only if you want"

"I would like that very much" he said pushing the coffee away and giving Dean a small smile that would one day always belong to him.

Dean nodded looking into his eyes and losing himself in them for a moment before coming back and bringing out his timetable as they discussed it. This was the start of everything to come between them from bad relationships, lost friendships, death, love, unrequited feelings, and the span of ten years which would test them in every form until the moment in 2014 when a question is asked and a demand made that would change them both for the better.

A/N: Brand new story! I've given you the general idea here and given you something I hope is a little different. This idea came out of nowhere and those are my usually successful stories.

Feedback would be amazing to be honest so please throw some my way.