In response to Hearmelaugh's (Mugen_Edamame) request on LJ: "I want KandaLavi, and it's AU, and Lavi's a sunflower farmer :D 'cos I like sunflowers, and I like Lavi. Hell to the yeah~" Can you feel the random homo BURNING YOUR SOUL yet?

(This is just a repost, it previously got deleted because I combined "fuck" and "K+" and FFN didn't like it)


A Fucking Sunflower

I walked through the fields, looking around at the many sunflowers surrounding me. The late afternoon breeze was warm in this tropic climate, and the sun was halfway under the horizon, bestowing the sky with that very special color that only comes at sun downs. Birds were chirping above my head, and the wind was lazy, bringing the sound of rustling leaves. I still hadn't gotten used to the warm humidity, I missed the cold rainy days back home. I missed being able to walk down a dark street with a hoodie, raincoat and boots, and not sweat my ass off. Being here was still nice, though, because here was-

"IT'S COMING YOUR WAY, YUU!"

I cursed loudly, throwing myself to the side and landing face down in the dirt between flower stalks. The cow – yes, cow – that had almost trodden me down ran straight past me, heading for the forest. Lavi came running after, big, sheepish grin on his stupid face. I yelled at him:

"Damn you for letting out the cows! That was the worst goddamn prank ever!"

He just kept grinning, and ran past me after the cow. I sped after the both of them as soon as I had picked myself up from the ground.

It took us the rest of the afternoon to catch and collect the remaining three cows. Bookman was the old psycho who owned the farm and "thus lays down all rules". He had been almost tomato red in his face with madness earlier, when he had discovered one of the gates to the cows' fence were open. If it wasn't for the fact that I had to help gathering runaway cows as well, the prank would actually have been hilarious. Lavi was quite the hilarious guy, after all. In fact, he was so funny you'd almost think he was dumb.

And he was dumb, I decided, as we both walked homewards on the dusty road, trailing three cows behind us, stars shining above our heads. Lavi's mouth was running on about some gossip from our neighboring farm. About the yokels having discovered rat's poison in their manure. Or something. Not that it mattered in my life, like, at all.

I angrily (and tiredly, but don't tell Lavi, shush) brushed my fingers through my loose hair, trying to get rid of all the yellow flower petals that were stuck there. Running through a sunflower field might seem pretty freaking romantic on film, but believe me when I say that it's the most troublesome and painful frolicking you will ever try to do. In fact, it's practically impossible. But after a good half hour, the cows had trotted down half of the field anyway. I couldn't help but smirk spite- and gleefully in the general direction of the massacred field. It would not have surprised me, if my aura was burning death as I thought "Die, yellow pestilences. Die!"

Lavi suddenly stopped talking. It wasn't until the endless sound of his voice stopped that I noticed he'd been blabbering to begin with. It was annoying, and that's often how things went down in my life. I never knew how good things were until I lost them. I shot the rabbit an accusing stare. Don't stop talking, idiot!

Lavi looked back at me, and out of the blue started laughing. He often laughs out of the blue, and it can be quite frustrating, not knowing what's so damn funny. Most of the time it's me, apparently, which makes his amusement just extra maddening. So I shot him an even more accusing stare, and added an aggravated humph. Take that.

Bastard just kept laughing.

Lavi somehow has the incredible ability of walking straight past all my barks and stares and death threats and defense mechanisms, and ends up smiling at my figuratively naked form, not having any clue just how stripped I feel. All the more reason to hate his guts.

"Dude, Yuu. Your face looks like you're frolicking through a sunflower field, merrily chopping flowers to death with glee or something. I'd say it was fucking creepy, if not for the fact that, on you, it looks really cute."

I tried concentrating on the offending words instead of his amused expression, the way his one visible, green eye curled like a rainbow, his cheeks stretched, and his deep tone punched holes in the cold night air with every laugh that came from his stomach. It was almost nice to listen to. Almost. Except for the fact that it was fucking annoying.

"Call me cute one more time and I chop your head off, asshole," I tried not to sound as tired as I felt, and kept absentmindedly pulling at the flowers in my hair. It was so yellow. Everything here was so goddamn yellow. The sun even made the clear, blue sky yellow. Not red, like it did back home. The battered walls of the house were yellow, the flowerswere yellow, Lavi's sweater was yellow, and Lavi's freaking socks were yellow. Beside me, Lavi rolled up the sleeves of his purple and yellow checkered shirt. Ew, so much yellow.

"Ew, so much yellow…" I grumbled, pulling what I hoped was the last petal from my bangs.

Lavi hummed thoughtfully, "hmm, do I get a certain vibe of dislike towards yellow?"

Damn, that guy was fast.

He continued: "what's wrong with yellow? It's totally my favorite color." He grinned like the yellow idiot he was.

"Everything is wrong with yellow. The sunflowers are yellow!" I yelled as if that was supposed to make sense. It wasn't necessarily, but a little yelling once in a while was good for the health. Somehow.

"But sunflowers are awesome! And they have the coolest name ever! "Sunflower". Even the word tastes good." He was mumbling sunflower like it was some mantra, and it actually looked like it tasted good. I was almost tempted to say it myself. Almost.

Instead I yelled: "stop saying it!" and the cow behind me 'muuh'ed, as if agreeing with me. I turned around to my newest comrade and looked directly into its eyes. "Yeah I know right? He's so freaking annoying!"

Lavi laughed at us and repeated the word again and again, teasing me, and I yelled back, and the banter continued until we were almost home.

It wasn't until we were at the cows' paddock my patience broke and gave way to my violent ways. I punched Lavi on the shoulder. Hard. Harder than I meant to. Lavi gave a surprised yelp of pain, and fell to his knees.

I scared myself so bad. I was terrified at how easy it was to lash out, and how difficult it was to stay composed. I was so shocked by my own actions I immediately yelled: "Shit! Are you okay?!" Which was probably the stupidest thing I could say, at all.

I threw myself down to crouch beside him, and grabbed him roughly by the other shoulder, trying to get him to look at me. I was perfectly aware of my own strength, and the punch had by no means been lighthearted.

Lavi was completely silent, just sat there and clutched his abused shoulder. I was starting to get really afraid. What if it was broken? I was so beside myself I didn't notice how I held my breath and my eyes were wide, and nothing could have stunned me more than what Lavi did next…

"Gotcha'," he looked up at me, eye glinting, grin wide, and radiating total victory.

That prankster.

That little motherfucking son of a whore in mayonnaise from a planet of shit and crab and may he explode and die a slow and painful death.

I gave a loud roar in frustration, got up, and would've run four times around a haystack in order to calm myself, but knew how utterly ridiculous it would look. Lavi fell flat on his back chuckling. I stomped on the ground. If the idiot didn't stop laughing, I would stomp on his fucking head.

"Aw, Yuu, don't get so scared!"

I turned away from him and roared something incomprehensible again. My nails dug into the rough skin of my palms. I was so angry. Of course I was angry, damn it. But I had been afraid, afraid, for a whole six seconds. So damn that shitty fuckwit to hell, because I could kill some chickens right now.

"Yuu?"

I heard him scrambling up from the ground. I couldn't even form a sentence. I couldn't even curse him.

"Yuu."

I felt a hand pat my back, and I would have tensed, if not for the fact I was as tense as can be already.

"I won't do it again," he sounded calm and sober.

The anxiety and hurt and bloodlust was gone, now replaced by immense irritation.

"YOU FUCKING IDIOT!" I turned on him, he gasped and the cows startled, but it was okay, I wouldn't hurt him, me and my mind had agreed on that now. I just yelled and willed my eyes to bore holes in his brain and make it implode. He staggered a bit, but seconds later his grin was back. Trust that grin to always return.

"Sorry." He held a hand up in surrender, and he seemed to understand that he shouldn't do it again. So I let him off the hook.

For now.

This called for massive payback time, of course. But that joy will be saved for later.

I 'tch'ed and ignored him. With angry movements I opened the gate of the fence. He silently bundled the cows in, and I closed the gate, and tersely headed for the main house. I didn't speak, I didn't look back, I didn't wait for him to follow.

The sounds of footsteps were cautious behind me, following at a safe distance. Not for long though. Lavi isn't patient with me, he always needs to laugh at something, and if he can't laugh at me, he's lost 78% of his fun. Because somehow annoying me is fun. The idiot.

Even though I didn't really mind.

Suddenly the sound sped up, and Lavi glomped me from behind. The nerve!

"Yuuuuuu, don't be mad, dude, I'm sorry, 'kaaay?!"

It didn't matter how much I harked and coughed, he just wouldn't let go.

"Fuck off!"

"Forgiveness!"

"Go away!"

"I love Yuu!"

"I said go away!"

But I couldn't punch or push him, I didn't dare, no longer really trusting my muscles. I just pulled at his arms. He was laughing again. His breath warmed my shoulder where he had buried his head.

"I'm sorry!"

"Let go, man."

"I'm sorry, Yuu…"

I gave an irritated puff, and halted my struggling. Lavi leaned heavily on my back. He had gone silent, and so had I. We just stood still there, time stood still beside us, and Lavi's headband was scratching my cheek. He was warm, and it was difficult not to lean my head on his arm and sigh contentedly.

Lavi suddenly stirred, and his words were heavy, like a disturbance causing ripples in an otherwise perfectly calm pond.

"Hey, Yuu… Did you close the northern gate of the cows' paddock?"

"…"

A magic moment can only last for so long.