"Two coffees, black. Three teas, Earl Grey, hot," Miss Maria said to the replicator." The line of cups appeared, and she handed captains Janeway and Kirk their coffee, her sister and Captain Picard their Earl Grey, and took the remaining tea for herself.

"Want anything, Q?" she asked, more out of politeness than actual concern.

"Omnipotent beings don't consume liquids like you mortals," Q said, putting his feet up on the table.

Picard sighed and took a sip of his tea. Caffeine was absolutely necessary, as most of the senior staff would have to deal with fanbrats that day.

Kirk also took a sip of his drink, and then turned to Q. "Q," he said. "There's something I've been meaning to ask you."

Q sighed. "If you're wondering why I never visited your ship, that's because you and your crew are mind-blowingly dull."

Kirk looked offended, but he persisted. "No, that's not it. What I wanted to ask is…you processed the applications, right?"

"Yes, get to the point."

"Why didn't you warn us about that…Borg student?"

Janeway snorted into her half-empty coffee cup. "This is Q. What did you expect?"

"Well, I just thought, since he was our ally…"

Picard clapped his hand to his forehead in a facepalm™ and shook his head vigorously. "You truly know nothing about Q."

"Captains, you flatter me," Q said. "I know I'm an irrepressible force of nature, a rogue spirit, a god of chaos…"

"An excellent example of the 'trickster' archetype…" Miss Gloria put in.

"I think I understand!" Kirk said quickly.

"You'd better," Janeway said. "As much as I hate to admit it, we need Q around."

Q looked smug. "Of course you do." He snapped his fingers. "That reminds me! I invited a new teacher to come and I do believe she's entering into orbit now."

Miss Gloria set down her Earl Grey so hard that it splashed onto her hands. "You tell us this now?"

"I thought we'd just established that Q is unpredictable," Kirk said.

"Yes, but…the paperwork!" Miss Gloria exclaimed.

"Oh, don't worry," Q said. "I'm in charge of the paperwork."

Miss Gloria relaxed slightly. "Who is this new teacher?" she asked, grabbing a napkin to wipe her hands.

"Nobody good, considering Q," Picard muttered.

"See for yourself," Q said, and a viewscreen switched on. An image of a ship filled the screen.

The room immediately went silent as everyone tried to process it. Picard's eyes widened, and he paled. Kirk looked confused, and Miss Gloria and Miss Maria glanced at each other, looking terrified.

Janeway broke the silence. "You invited her?!" she exclaimed in disgust. "What the hell were you thinking?! We want to educate the fanbrats, not condemn them to a fate worse than death!"

"Calm down, Kathy," Q said. "I will personally ensure everyone's safety."

"And that's supposed to make us feel better?" Picard asked.

"Do you have any choice?" Q pointed out. "She's already in orbit."

Janeway glared at Q, but then she sighed. "I suppose we don't," she said reluctantly.

Kirk glanced back at the viewscreen, then to the rest of the table. "I suppose I'm…behind the times. Who is she?"


A/N I apologize for my incredibly late update. I've been busy.

However, now I can safely guarantee weekly updates, since I've written quite a bit ahead.